


Whatever floats your boat

by BlueAlmond



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Slow Burn, Soulmates, but no major character deaths I promise, the author doesn't know when to end chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-06-16 11:05:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 96,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15435708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueAlmond/pseuds/BlueAlmond
Summary: Complement:something that fills up, completes, or makes better or perfect.People say that your soulmate is supposed to be your complement, but nobody really knows what that means. Is it about the things you like, about the things you lack? It’s unclear.Statistics say that 73% of the earth’s population finds their soulmate before they reach the age of thirty five, and the divorce rate in marriages composed by soulmates is about 10%.So logically, everybody wants to find their soulmate, right?





	1. First Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> At first it was going to be one chapter, then they became three, and then I had 26k words and too much information and too many storylines and I panicked.
> 
> So here, have a multi-chapter story. Hopefully you'll like it!

Back in the Dark Ages, there are no records of how many people found their soulmates, but it is believed that aside from royalty, most villagers had them. The unions of more than one empire through marriage because of that special tie had been famous, the idea of strategic alliances being settled by Fate something everybody believed firmly. In the far East, some made a profession out of vaguely orienting people in the alleged direction their soulmate was; there are records of these diviners back to 600 BC, and exist to this day, even if they’re popularly considered phony.

Enlightened people around the 1700 started questioning the essence of soulmates like nobody had since the Catholic Church announced in the early AD 300 that soulmates were the person chosen by God to share their life with. They questioned how monarchs could know how to arrange their children’s marriages when none of them had ever met, and they started writing essays describing what finding your soulmate was like. A German philosopher concluded after interviewing a hundred people in Hamburg that over seventy of them only had a vague, widely romanticized idea of what it should be, even when forty of them stated they had found them—they hadn’t, but their priests had said they did. It wouldn’t be until the mid-1800 that a British biochemist would identify an atypical reaction when mixing blood samples of soulmates, which would change the way the scientific community would view them, forever. Soulmates definitely were not a religious invention to control the population, for there existed a genuine, chemical reaction between two specific people. Many studies were made after that. One in particular became the Church’s favorite back in 1947 that consisted fully on twins. The structure of their DNA’s was essentially the same, and yet, only one of them would provoke a reaction on their soulmate. Since then, it’s been widely accepted that whatever brings two people together like that, will probably remain a mystery forever, but at least people couldn’t be fooled into believing someone was their soulmate when they weren’t, not since 1874.

Still, there hadn’t been an accurate study on how many people actually found their soulmates until after World War I. In 1924, a British historian that had enlisted made a recount of all the people she’d fought along who’d had soulmates before going to war, how many had found them after, and how many still didn’t, who couldn’t know if they were already dead. It had started as a romantic project, something for her to make something out of the men and women she’d gotten to know so well, and to document as well her own experience. She had found her soulmate being particularly young, or so she thought, and then lost him to the trench just a month before the war was over.

After her, the entire western world followed her example, and before 1930, there were statistics for the entire world’s population regarding soulmates. Before the internet, roughly 40% were expected to find their soulmate before they were thirty, and no more than 27% would wait to meet them before getting married. That number only went over 50% on the five years that followed dating sites becoming popular, that people actually hoped to find their soulmates like that. When that didn’t raise their chances as much as they wanted, the number dropped again to under 40%. Still, before 2000, the percentage of people that found their soulmates before thirty five—the study had been extended in the 80’s—grew to 73% and rarely went down from there. The portrayal of relationships between soulmates in popular culture was always romantic, always intense, and always the perfect fit for each mate to follow their dreams, and most teenagers dreamt with the day they would find them. People would say that they would feel a certain pull toward them, but the scientific community never confirmed it, so the most rational folks wouldn’t bet on it. Still, they seemed to agree that marriages between soulmates had less than a 10% divorce rate, individuals in said relationships only conformed 24% of people diagnosed with depression, and had a higher rate of recovery in major injuries.

So it wasn’t weird that when somebody’s life wasn’t easy, they hoped finding their soulmate would make it all better.

Alexander’s life hadn’t been easy for the most part of it. He didn’t blame his mother even when his brother had. She had been a victim, too. Her life hadn’t been easy either.

He did blame her husband though.

Johann was… Johann was a selfish man. He fell for his mother and then never let her go, even when she didn’t love him. She never did, but married him anyway. She’d been twenty five and her family had been struggling with money, and Johann came in like the solution to all their problems. She hadn’t wanted to, but she did, because she knew it was for the best. She wouldn’t regret it for years, and perhaps if James Hamilton hadn’t walked into her life, she never would have, but he did. He did, and she… she used to tell Alexander that the first time she saw him, it was like adjusting the gleam of the computer’s screen. He was handsome and funny and just as smitten as she was, and doing the test had been his idea. But in that small town, word got around fast. In a couple of days, everybody knew Rachel Faucette had finally found her soulmate, and who he was. Still, she didn’t care. She was reckless and then happy when she got pregnant. For a moment, she thought she could be happy with her soulmate, but Johann smashed that dream shortly. There were a lot of tears and a lot of promises and words of forgiveness, and Rachel told the world the baby was her husband’s while her soulmate disappeared, and nobody talked about how she named the child James.

Actually, Alexander blamed his father as well. If he would’ve stayed far away, like his mother asked him to, things wouldn’t have ended the way they did. But then again, Alexander wouldn’t have been born, so should he really complain? And he knew his father really intended to marry his mother. If Johann hadn’t threatened with taking her children, they would’ve gotten married and left the island before Alexander was born, but he did. He did, and he had more money and resources and contacts and Rachel had known that if she left him, she would never see her children again, not even little James, because he was legally Johann’s.

So James Hamilton Sr. disappeared for good that time, and probably never even knew she died merely twelve years later.

Alexander usually thought about that, and wondered if he even suspected, if he ever thought of her like he knew his mother had thought of him. Alexander grew up listening how soulmates were God’s special recommendation, a little gift to try and make life more bearable, and he’d loved it. He’d been sad his mother couldn’t be with hers, but she would talk of the time they shared with a smile on her face and then she would tenderly kiss his forehead, tell him he was all she needed to be happy, because he was just another gift God had given her, and he could go to sleep happy, too.

He didn’t think he went to sleep that happy ever again. Not since she died. He simply didn’t have any reasons, not until he got his admittance letter to Princeton, and even then, he didn’t think he went to sleep as happy as he used to be. He was excited and content, but he wasn’t carefree, and he still felt utterly alone.

He didn’t think having a roommate would change that, but when it came to Aaron Burr, there were a lot of things he just wouldn’t see coming until they happened.

There was a minor portion of the population that didn’t believe soulmates really made life any easier. They did, in fact, believe it made it harder, at least the concept. The idea that no relationship was valuable enough unless they were soulmates was toxic, unhealthy and unrealistic. A lot of people probably would never find their soulmates—a thousand and eight hundred ninety million people; if statistics were to be believed—and they shouldn’t throw away genuinely good people for nothing more than a distant dream.

The real problem with soulmates was that they existed, which turned them into some sort of _accessible_ dream, and everyone sincerely believed they would find theirs, but missed out on life until that happened—and sometimes it never did. And the truth was that not all relationships between soulmates were good. Just because someone was your soulmate didn’t mean they were a good person, though Aaron learnt very young that God could have a petty sense of humor, and put bad people together, too. His uncle, for example, was a terrible person, and his soulmate wasn’t any better. In fact, she might have been worse.

Still, Aaron knew he wasn’t like most of the population, that his opinion would only draw dark looks, so he would rarely mention it. The one time he did it in middle school, Jonathan and he had been all alone in his basement, and there was no danger of being judged, only relief and concern over the crying boy he liked so much. That night ended being one of his most precious memories from a time he didn’t get many, and that only made it more special. Besides, it also taught him something valuable he would use to this day: a homemade way of testing soulmates. It wasn’t as reliable as a blood test, but as far as Aaron knew, it was pretty accurate—he wouldn’t give numbers, but he’d never met a case that got it wrong. In high school, Aaron made sure no one in town was his soulmate, and was oh so relieved when he was done.

Joking, back in junior year, Bellamy had made him promise he wouldn’t do that shit in college, and Aaron had laughed but swore it with a kiss. It had been their last kiss, and Aaron had cried himself to sleep every night for a month while his aunt and uncle made sure to comment every day how glad they were for the Bellamy kid for having found his soulmate so young. Aaron should have been expecting it, especially after the way he’d reacted when they checked and got a negative result. The thirteen-year-old couldn’t understand how Aaron wasn’t upset, how he still wanted to be with Jonathan even when they weren’t meant to be. He should have been expecting it, should have seen it coming, but he didn’t and then he got his heart broken.

He didn’t understand why he kept his word, but he decided he wouldn’t check anyone in college unless he had a legitimate reason for it, and even then, he would have to tell someone. If he was too embarrassed to do it, then it probably wasn’t worth it.

He didn’t think he would regret it, or that he would have a legitimate reason to check within his first year—within his first semester. He didn’t think he would get a roommate like Alexander Hamilton. Fate liked to surprise Aaron.

Honestly, he didn’t think too much of the boy when he first met him. Sure, he was a little serious, like he’d been expecting a fight, but Aaron merely extended his hand and offered him a smile that seemed to surprise him. Aaron would shortly learn that Alexander could be a lot of things, but the main thing he was, was overachieving, and perhaps, well, talkative too. But Aaron found it oddly appeasing, the constant chatter. On that first night, he did wonder if he would be able to sleep at all, but at the end, he slept like the dead and if it hadn’t been for the stress of the first day he might have slept through his alarm.

And Alexander hadn’t been expecting Aaron either. He considered himself a friendly guy, but if they were going to share a room for nine months then he needed to get some points across… but suddenly he found that he couldn’t, he couldn’t start a conversation—more like an argument, they were always arguments with Alexander—about principles and boundaries with the handsome guy offering his hand and smiling oh so nicely. He was the kind of guy that made Alexander question whether it really was worth it to wait for his soulmate. He always concluded it was, of course, but they made him hope his soulmate was someone as gorgeous as them.

But that Tuesday he had a thousand different things on his mind. Wednesday would be the first day of the rest of his life, and he had many plans for that life.

Alexander never had many friends before. He was too loud and he cared too much about grades, the kids around him tended to dislike him. But somehow, he found himself with a big group of people that he wanted to call friends by lunchtime on his first day. He hadn’t seen Aaron at all that day—the boy had an 8 am class, while Alexander’s first class was at ten—and he didn’t read his message until he was going back to class, only to answer he’d been busy and had gotten a quick lunch. Apparently Aaron Burr wasn’t too interested in his phone; it was either that, or he deliberately had ignored Alexander’s message so he wouldn’t have to meet him nor be rude about it. For some reason, Alexander hoped it wasn’t the second.

At the end it hadn’t mattered that his roommate hadn’t been available, because the guy that sat next to him during his first class—some French guy named Lafayette—dragged him to a little restaurant with no more than six tables that soon after they arrived got overflowed with students.

“This is the best place around here,” said Lafayette.

“How do you know?”

Lafayette downed half of his glass of soda. “Well, a friend of mine owns it,” he admitted. “He might be biased, but I trust his judgement.”

“Hey Laf,” greeted him a big guy, bringing them a tray with French fries and two burgers, even though they hadn’t yet ordered. “Who’s your friend?”

“Hercules, this is my friend Alexander Hamilton. I met him in my ‘ _America Then and Now_ ’ class.”

“Oh, cool. Hello.”

“Hi,” Alexander waved a hand and eyed the burger the guy put in front of him. “That looks delicious.”

Hercules nodded. “It is. I made them, and I only help when it gets too crowded, which happens a lot if I can brag,” he grinned. “Students here love this place. The prices might help, but I like to believe that the food is good too. Please, try it.”

“Okay then…” Alexander licked his lips and moaned the moment he took the first bite. “This is amazing!” he mumbled.

Hercules chuckled, visibly delighted with Alexander’s reaction, and stayed there talking even when the place filled with people and the kitchen clearly needed his help.

To Alexander, that perfect morning was the preamble for a perfect year. He’d been terrified, despite his constant optimism, but after meeting Lafayette he could be certain that even if they wouldn’t have many classes together, at least he wouldn’t be having lunch alone. He only could hope his roommate would join them at some point.

He couldn’t know, but his roommate had been terrified that morning also.

Aaron hadn’t had that many friends before either. He tried to be nice to everyone and never made enemies, but he hardly made close friends either. He’d been close to Bellamy, but then they started dating and then Bellamy left him, so he tried not to think of it too much. It wasn’t an experience he wished to repeat.

Taking a class at 8 am on Wednesday hadn’t been his idea, like a lot of things in his life, but he didn’t complain out loud. He glared at his sleeping roommate instead and took a long, hot shower, and finished it with a blast of cold water that chased his soul out of his body, but at least he was awake. When he reached the classroom he was the first one there, so he stayed outside until at least two people got in. Then, he checked again if he was in the right place, and got a seat by the hallway in the middle of the room, hoping the class wouldn’t fill too much so no one would sit near him.

He knew that was wishful thinking. It was math for freshmen. It wasn’t possible for it to _not_ overflow, but he still sighed penitently when people started seating in his row. He still smiled to the girl that finished next to him, obviously, and when she asked his name he answered and asked for hers, and when she whispered something funny about the professor he chuckled. He didn’t have a class immediately after so he took his time storing his stuff away, and was startled when the girl, Maria, with a messenger bag hanging from one shoulder, her phone in one hand and a sheepish smile on her face, tapped his arm.

“Hey,” she licked her lips and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, “could I have your number?”

He blinked. “Sure.” He extended a hand and she passed him her phone. “You have another class right now?”

“No,” she shook her head. “You?”

“No,” he sighed. “I’m forced to wake up very early to stay with nothing to do for almost five hours.”

She grimaced. “That’s awful. I have another class at eleven thirty. I could stay with you until then? Unless you want to go back to sleep, that is.”

“Unfortunately, I’m one of those that can’t go back to sleep once they’re awake, so,” he shrugged. “I could use some company.”

“Great,” she grinned.

As with anything in life, people reacted of many different ways when it came to soulmates, and statistics couldn’t really represent them all. A one percent of the earth’s population sounded like so little, but it still meant 70 million people, for example, and yet groups such as asexual individuals were almost never mentioned.

Some asexuals would find their soulmates and some wouldn’t. Some would like to find them, and some would see it as a burden. Alexander had never really thought about it before. He was celibate, not asexual, and in his eighteen years of life he’d accumulated a lot of ideas he intended to put in practice once he found his soulmate. Still, after he saw a pamphlet on campus he couldn’t stop thinking about it. What if his soulmate was asexual? Would it be a problem for him? He wanted to think it wouldn’t. There were other, more important things in life, but if he was being honest, he didn’t really understand what asexuality _was_. The concept of soulmates in itself seemed to be completely separated from sex, and he’d read about cases were people didn’t feel attracted to their soulmate’s gender, but those stories were weird. Still, seventy million people weren’t attracted to any gender, so wasn’t that the same thing as being attracted to a different one?

Before Lafayette had dragged him to the ‘ _What you want is valid_ ’ forum he hardly had thought about it, because before he even found the term ‘pansexual’ he had thought he was bisexual and simply tried not to think about the possibility of his soulmate not wanting him in turn. That shouldn’t happen, God couldn’t be so mean.

Through the middle of a girl’s testimony where she was telling how she’d been kicked out of her house after she refused to marry her soulmate because she wasn’t attracted to men, he had to leave the room. Lafayette gave him a worried look but he gestured for him to stay, that he’d be back shortly.

And then outside, he almost threw up. He didn’t, but he had to bend over and used a wall to support himself as he took deep breaths and tried to tear apart his surroundings sense by sense.

“Hey, are you okay?” someone asked softly from somewhere to his left, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” he nodded as he took one last deep breath and straightened, and his brain shut off for a moment.

“I’m John Laurens,” the stranger smiled at him, and boy, wasn’t it a beautiful smile.

John Laurens too was one of those beautiful people that made Alexander wonder, and he was funny and spontaneous in an electrifying way. They became good friends instantly, even when their interests were considerably different. John Laurens was an asexual aromantic art major with a lot more experience than Alexander—which wasn’t really hard to accomplish, if he was being honest—and loathed anything that had to do with the social sciences that Alexander loved, which had been cause for his father to actually stop talking to him for a small amount of time. When Henry Laurens seemed to realize that there was no way he could convince his oldest son to become a lawyer, he gave him his full support to do whatever it was he wanted to do, but their relationship was scarred ever since and John was pretty sure the man had been more than disappointed when he chose art.

In three weeks they learnt everything about each other and suddenly Alexander knew what it was like to have a best friend. Lafayette found them hilarious and kept the camera in his IPhone in video mode so he could be ready to record whatever nonsense they pulled off whenever they met. He swore that if they had met before, they would’ve been famous on _Vine_.

One particular area in the library became their spot. It had comfortable couches with no armrest so Laurens could sprawl, and on some occasions the art major would even paint, though he rarely did because he preferred to do it standing.

So one day, while lying there only the two of them—Lafayette was in class—Laurens said: “Oh man, my roommate is insane.”

Alexander frowned. “Why?”

“He’s insane! During the first week he was normal but then he started staying up all night and he has all these knives and I swear when I wake up at night he’s staring at me, and I think I even heard a flash once. I’m freaking out.”

“Dude, you need to get out of there.”

“But where would I go? I’m a freshman. I have to stay in campus.”

“You can ask for another room, right?”

“I don’t know if I can before Christmas break. I mean, I don’t really have any proof. I don’t think it’s that easy.”

“Then… how about you don’t report it? If you keep your stuff in there but simply don’t sleep there no one can say you’re breaking the rules, right?”

“But where would I sleep? I don’t want to ask my parents. I mean, we’re not exactly in bad terms, but…” he grimaced.

“You can stay in my room then,” Alexander proposed with a careless shrug. “We’ll figure something out, but you can’t stay in your room tonight.”

Laurens shook his head. “No, I couldn’t do that. Besides, don’t you have a roommate? What will he say?”

“He won’t mind. Come on, I wouldn’t make the offer if I didn’t believe it’s not a problem.” His friend didn’t seem convinced by his words, so he rolled his eyes and insisted: “I’m serious! Aaron won’t mind, I promise. I can call and ask him right now, if you want.”

“Do that.”

Alexander sighed, but did, and for a moment he was worried Aaron wouldn’t answer, but he did at the third ring. “ _Hello?_ ”

“Hey, Aaron uh… would it be okay if a friend stayed in our room tonight? He needs a place to sleep.”

“ _Oh, uh, sure. I mean, if he can sleep on the floor or in your bed, sure._ ”

“Great, cool, thanks.” He stored his phone away. “See? Everything’s cool.”

Laurens shook his head. “I don’t know man. I’ll sleep on your floor tonight but I still need to find another place to stay.”

“We’ll figure it out. I’m sure we can find you a room somewhere.”

Perhaps if Lafayette had been there with them instead of in his ‘ _Masterworks_ _of_ _European_ _Literature_ ’ class, he would’ve suggested the floor of his single instead, or the couch in Hercules’s place, which was the entire second floor of his restaurant, not far from school, but he wasn’t there, and he didn’t plan to meet them that day. No, that day was a Monday, and since his first class on Tuesday wasn’t until eleven thirty, he and Hercules went out alone.

It wasn’t that they were keeping it a secret, not exactly, and they really had been just friends when he introduced Alexander to him—well, sort of. They only had slept together once and they hadn’t really talked about it, so it was only natural that he would introduce him as his friend. And then, when Alexander brought Laurens, they didn’t think it was necessary to make any clarifications. If things between them didn’t work, they knew they could stay friends, but to the others it could be weird. They had been friends for years, ever since Lafayette’s father had been transferred to New Jersey when he was thirteen and Hercules, a sixteen-year-old working as a dog walker, living alone with his grandmother at the other side of town, started walking Lafayette’s four dogs every Saturday. Gilbert de Lafayette loved his dogs. He loved George the bulldog, Pauline the Bernese mountain dog, Henriette the field spaniel, and Marie-Antoinette the Afghan hound. He greeted them every time he went out, and every time he came back, and when he was bored he would go read outside and play with them. When George was inside—which was most of the time—he would usually be in his room and even sleep in Gilbert’s bed. He just didn’t love walking them. Separately it was fine, but walking the four of them at the same time was impossible. Or he’d thought that, when he was thirteen, but sixteen-year-old Hercules Mulligan somehow managed to do it. The moment Gilbert saw him return from a forty minute walk with the four happily waggling their tails was probably when he fell.

If he had to be honest, Hercules was the main reason he had begged to go to college in America even after his father was transferred back to the Montpellier office earlier that year, but nobody had directly asked, so he didn’t say it either. He suspected his mother knew, but they never discussed it. If Hercules knew, he didn’t say anything either.

“Hey,” Hercules, washing dishes, molds and other cookware, greeted him with a smile and a kiss. “I’m almost done here. Can you take that piece of pie to George? He earned it.”

Lafayette snorted, but took the piece of apple pie to the dog resting lazily in his bed in the living room. “There you go,” he said, petting him behind his ear and smiling fondly.

Pauline, Henriette and Marie-Antoinette were far away in France, but George had stayed with him. However, since he couldn’t keep pets in his room, Hercules had offered to keep it in his place. George already loved him anyway, so it was perfectly okay. His father teared up a little—George was his favorite, but it had been a present to Gilbert in his twelfth birthday and everyone agreed it was fair. Still, when he asked Hercules to take good care of him, Gilbert had the weird impression he wasn’t talking about the dog.

“Alright, did he eat it all already?”

“He devoured it,” informed Lafayette with a nod.

Hercules hugged him and they stood there, kissing languidly until George started barking. Hercules chuckled. “What? Are you jealous, buddy? Come here…” he held the dog and placed him in between them. “There, now we’re a sandwich. Is that better?”

Lafayette threw his head back as he cackled. “You are ridiculous _mon cher_ ,” he shook his head and caressed Hercules’s cheek with one hand and George’s head with the other.

Yes, perhaps all the secrecy and cautions weren’t necessary, because they were doing alright.

Alexander thought everything was alright with John and Aaron that night too. Aaron was his usual polite self and John was loud and only a tiny bit rude, which was better than what he’d expected, but then at lunch, at Hercules’s place, Laurens said: “But man, you should’ve warned me,” he shook his head. “I mean, I went to your room looking like a vagabond and then who do I find inside? One Aaron Burr, practically in silk pajamas!”

“Your roommate is Aaron Burr?” asked Lafayette, wide-eyed.

“You know his family owns half the city, right?” said Hercules before stealing one of Lafayette’s fries.

Alexander shrugged. “So? He doesn’t have to be an asshole just because he’s rich. You looked fine,” he rolled his eyes. He wanted to add that the guy never mentioned his family and never seemed to contact them, but he didn’t see him or know him enough to have any certainty of the fact as if to start any rumors.

“I guess, but still… it’s kind of weird. I mean, he’s _so_ rich.”

“You guys have money!”

“Not as much as he!” argued Laurens and Lafayette nodded. “I mean, look at me, dude, I’m currently homeless.”

Hercules rolled his eyes and turned the sign on the door to ‘closed’. “You guys are ridiculous. I have an extra room, in _this_ building. Sure, it isn’t big, but it would be yours. Move in with me.”

Laurens gasped. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Now going back to Alexander’s rich roommate…”

But Alexander wasn’t the only one with friends with housing problems. Aaron had gotten quite close to Maria all through September, but it wasn’t until they got together to study for midterms in early October that he realized what was really going on with her.

“I should get going,” she said, brushing her hair backwards with a hand. “It’s getting late.”

“Sure. What dorm are you in? I’ll walk you there.”

“Oh, I’m not staying in campus.”

Aaron blinked. “I thought freshmen had to stay in the dorms.”

She shrugged one shoulder and tilted her head to the left. “That can be arranged. Unmarried undergrads are required to stay on campus for two years, but my soulmate is older and I live with him.”

“Oh.” Aaron purposefully pushed away any thoughts of a different eighteen year old girl that had moved in with her older soulmate as soon as she graduated high school. “That must be cool, I guess.”

“It is,” she lied, and boy, wasn’t it an obvious lie.

Aaron’s heart constricted in his chest, but he wasn’t sure if they were in a place where she would appreciate an uninformed, invasive advice, so he said nothing. He said nothing, and then walked slowly to his room, hoping Alexander’s friend had found a different place to stay already.

It wasn’t that he disliked the guy, but he’d been keeping to himself and had gotten used to the way Maria and Alexander looked at him—like a person, like their friend. Then came John Laurens and had stared at him like… like everybody else did. Besides, he snored. He’d been so worried about that before he met Alexander, and then he’d been so relieved, but last night he’d been awaken in the middle of the night by Laurens’s snorts. They reminded him too much of his uncle.

When he reached his room it was thankfully empty, but it was still early. However, the next day was Wednesday, and he was tired. He fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

The next day he did what he did on most Wednesdays in his four and half hours break: he got together with Maria while she could, checked his notes, and then watched Netflix while he grabbed something small to eat until he had to go to class again at two. The class he had then wasn’t a very interesting one, but he sat by the window and had a nice view of the treetops. He was counting the minutes for the class to be over when the professor said those six terrible words no introvert wants to hear in college, ever:

“It can be done in pairs…”

Aaron tried not to show how uncomfortable that made him feel, and took his time storing his pencils before deciding to look around the classroom to find another lonely soul, so he was surprised when the moment he turned to his right he found a boy staring at him with big brown, anxious eyes and a tight smile that probably tried to look friendly but was anything but.

“Hello?”

“Hi! Uh, my name’s James Madison, I don’t think we’ve talked before?”

“I’m Aaron,” he smiled. “Would you like to do this project together?”

“Yes! Uh, I would love that.”

Aaron nodded. “Alright, give me your number then,” he handed him his phone, and turned to close his notebook and get everything inside his bag.

“There you go,” said James. “Great. Should we meet this weekend to work on it? Or do you go home on the weekends? If you do that’s okay, I only have one early class on Wednesdays and Thursdays so I have the afternoons free.”

“I don’t go home on the weekends, but Wednesdays afternoons are okay too. Do you have anything in mind already?”

James hummed and tapped his chin with a finger while absentmindedly grabbing his backpack. “Not really, and you?”

“No,” Aaron shook his head and started walking. “Are you free right now? I was meeting with a friend in the library, you can come.”

“Oh, thank you that would be…” he trailed off as he checked his phone.

“You have plans?”

James sighed. “I do. Let’s meet for lunch this Wednesday then?”

Aaron nodded. “Sure, that would be great. We have plenty of time.”

“Yeah,” James turned in a different direction and quickly forgot all about the project. He wondered if his classmate had found his soulmate already, and hoped he had. He didn’t need another partner like the one he had in the Chemistry laboratory, who could only think of that. He used to be more tolerant, but lately, the people that idolized soulmates like that only reminded him of everything that was wrong with his life and made him extremely irritated. Still, dutifully he went to meet with the protagonist of his torment, his childhood friend, his soulmate, Thomas.

Thomas was an architecture major two years older and therefor, a junior, and a marvelous cook, so James could lie to himself and pretend he was only going to his apartment almost every day for the food, but he wasn’t very convincing, not in his own mind. James had known Thomas Jefferson was his soulmate ever since he was six years old and his parents, friends of Thomas’s, had the great idea of testing their kids because, wouldn’t it be fun if they were? And he learnt the truth before he even had the slightest idea of what being soulmates really meant.

Not that he had it now. He couldn’t be more lost in the matter.

He entered the apartment like he lived there, because of course he had a key—not that anybody else knew. That, as many other things, was a secret—and dropped his backpack on the couch. He recognized the smell of fried onions and carrots and heard Thomas hum along to the music that was playing, ‘ _Le Dîner_ ’ by Bénabar, and considered joining him for the last chorus, but Thomas hadn’t heard him get inside, and that would startle him, so instead he decided to announce his presence like he usually would, walking heavily towards the kitchen and saying: “I’m here. What can I help you with?”

“Pass me the plates, and you could get the drinks as well. You don’t have any more classes today, right?”

Thomas should know that. James had sent him his schedule at the beginning of the semester, and he knew Thomas’s by heart. He didn’t complain though, and he passed him the plates. “No, I don’t. I’m still not having alcohol at lunch.”

“Don’t say that like I’m trying to get you drunk at three and a half in the afternoon. It’s merely wine. You’ll get there, I swear.”

James smiled sweetly at him. Thomas had spent one semester in France last year and now he couldn’t seem to have lunch without wine or cheese. “Not today.”

Thomas sighed dramatically. “Fine, but this is ready. The table or the couch?”

“Couch, please.”

“Alright.” Thomas put the plates down on the center table and turned on Netflix on his flat TV. “What do you want to watch?”

“I don’t really mind.”

“ _Brooklyn 99_ , then, or…” he glanced at him and hummed, “maybe a movie? _Atonement_ , or _The Little Princess_?”

James frowned and turned to glare at Thomas. “Are you trying to make me cry?”

Thomas shrugged. “You look like you need an excuse to.”

If he had to be honest, Thomas wasn’t wrong, and James hated that the man could read him so well. He wouldn’t admit it though, but Thomas knew that. He shrugged and grabbed his plate. “Let’s watch _A Monster in Paris_.”

“With subtitles, of course.”

“Of course.”

Thomas grinned, and started the movie. Whatever was worrying James, he knew he would tell him eventually, and it was probably something about a class, and he had no doubt there wasn’t an actual problem, but James’s dramatism.

After all, he knew him well. He’d known him since he could remember, and he’d known they were soulmates for almost as long. They’d only decided they would stay friends forever four years ago though, and most days, Thomas still couldn’t deal with it. He took a sip of his glass of water—he wouldn’t open a bottle of wine for himself, and was out of small bottles—and wondered how it would feel to taste James’s lips. He fantasized about them almost as often as he imagined what running his hands though James’s hair would feel like, or seeing his sweet smile first thing in the morning. But that’s all they were, and all they would ever be: Just fantasies.


	2. It's come to pass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to wait until I had more of the next chapter (it's almost ready tbh) to post this one, but I'm not exactly a patient person and everyone who read the first chapter were so nice...!  
> Still, I am not precisely a constant person but I'll try to post at least a chapter per week, so stay tuned!

On Wednesday, James met with Aaron at a small café not far from the building in which he had class that morning. The place smelled like mint, and there was an area of comfortable couches with a large center table that they seized the minute they spot it. The sandwiches they had were good, and their natural juice was sweet. All in all, it was productive, but once it was over, James needed silence. It hadn’t been particularly crowded when they arrived, but after almost four hours, when his mind tried to drift away from the research on his computer he couldn’t choose one conversation to pry on, there were twenty simultaneous arguments happening all around them and for some reason everyone—including Aaron—was ordering juice and the blender was right behind him and, well, he ended up exhausted, and at nine pm, all he could think of was his bed.

But then, when he opened his door he found his roommate was there, and as usual he wasn’t wearing his headphones and he was humming along to the weird soundtrack of his videogame and James just couldn’t stand it.

He ended up in Thomas’s apartment, of course he did.

Thomas never had a problem with him staying over, he even had his own room, except when he had other guests, but they’d reached a silent agreement in which that would happen mostly on Fridays or Tuesdays, and when there were any special occasions Thomas would text James in advance to let him know he couldn’t go. It was only fair, if he didn’t want his hook ups to know that Thomas already knew who his soulmate was, and it wasn’t them.

“Why don’t you come and work here?” suggested Thomas, after James finished retelling his day.

James blinked and raised his head from where it had been resting—Thomas lap. “Are you sure? I mean, we worked well today, it was productive…”

“And you can’t stand any noise because of it. Don’t be ridiculous, if you work in the living room and I stay in my bedroom it’ll be fine.”

“Well,” James bit his bottom lip and looked around. Thomas’s apartment was always silent, unless he had his music on. “Okay, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Thomas was very close to say it was James’s apartment as well, but he didn’t, because it wasn’t. Even if James had a key, in two years, once he didn’t have to live on campus anymore, his parents would get him his own apartment, and Thomas wasn’t sure he’d see him as often as he did now. “When are you meeting next?”

“Uh, this Saturday, but don’t worry—”

“It’s fine, Jimmy. I promise I’ll go to bed early so I’ll be awake when you arrive.”

“We’ll probably come after lunch.”

Perhaps it was that he’d had a lot of practice, but to Thomas, James was incredibly easy to persuade. He rolled his eyes and said: “Don’t be ridiculous, I’ll cook.” And the whole thing was settled.

The next day James was telling Aaron: “A friend offered me to use his apartment on Saturday. It’s nearby and it’ll be more silent. Besides, he also cooks.”

“Oh, that would be great,” said Aaron. “I don’t think I’ve eaten a homemade meal in over a month,” he bit his bottom lip, almost disbelieving that he could actually say what he was about to say without being judged. “I never thought I’d miss Harry’s cooking but,” he shook his head, “I really do.”

James chuckled and nodded along, and Aaron felt his head lighter.

He had always been uncomfortable being who he was, Aaron _Burr_ , the last living Burr, from the Burrs of New Jersey, practically the sole owner of half of the town of Princeton and its whereabouts. Supposedly, he had lived there once, with his parents, but he had no memories from that time. Then he moved with the Edwards—who were just as rich, but not as famous—and grew up not two hours from there, but in another state—the “Constitution State”, the humid Connecticut, where his sister and he were famous anyway. Even though they lived in a wealthy neighborhood and went to a private school, Aaron, being who he was, didn’t make many friends. The one friend he made, Jonathan, had been there on a scholarship and even though he didn’t live far, he wasn’t exactly rich. He wasn’t poor either, but he didn’t have a gardener and to his Aunt’s standards that was practically equivalent to analphabetism and famine.

He liked Maria, and he thought he could consider his roommate a friend too, but he would always need to avoid conversations about home, about regular chores and that sort of thing, because their experiences were completely different and Aaron was, honestly, embarrassed of himself. With James, he didn’t have to. He could talk about his cook and complain about his maid and not feel like a complete asshole, because James understood and laughed and complained as well. He never thought he would want a rich friend, not with the experiences he’d had, but now that he had one, he was sincerely pleased.

James didn’t say anything about what kind of person his friend was, and Aaron didn’t ask, but the flow of conversation was not interrupted when he joined. In fact, the guy would probably charm his aunt, and Aaron didn’t quite know how to feel about that.

“I made pie, too, but don’t worry. You can eat it while you work and I’ll take my piece to my bedroom.”

“Oh, great. You didn’t put any nuts on it though, right?”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Of course I didn’t. I have a list of your allergies on my fridge; I check it before I make _anything_.”

James chuckled and shook his head, as Thomas stared at him fondly.

Aaron noticed all this with awkwardness. If James noticed at all, he didn’t show it, and the friend, Thomas, looked like he was completely used to it. He then went to the kitchen and James followed, nodding towards the living room and urging Aaron to go wait for him there. Aaron had thirty seconds to panic about what he was not seeing, and then James reappeared with two plates of pie that they could have on the couch.

Hours later, they were still in that same couch checking different sources and writing down what was important, though the borders of Aaron’s notebook were filled with little flowers and curvy lines.

“We should take a break,” said James, throwing his head back and closing his eyes.

Aaron checked the time on his phone. “It’s getting late. Perhaps we should stop for the day.”

“You can stay on the couch if you want,” offered Thomas, startling them both. “It’s late, and you can keep the work in the morning.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

James nodded. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Unless you have anything to do in the morning?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” he yawned. “Then, ask Thomas for a blanket, I’ll go to sleep.”

Aaron arched his eyebrows and glanced at the smirking man. “Okay?”

“Good night,” James waved a hand and went to a room across the hallway from Thomas’s.

“Come on, I’ll get you a blanket.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Aaron was about to ask if James did that sort of thing often, but caught his tongue. How often could he have done such a thing in five weeks?

“I know that must have been weird,” commented Thomas as he inspected one closet, “but honestly I think of this apartment as his place too, you know? He’s afraid of heights and his room in campus is on a fifth floor, so he feels more comfortable here. I don’t think he’s even noticed that’s why he comes so often, but,” he shrugged, fished a huge blue blanket, and handed it to Aaron. “There you go. It shouldn’t be too cold, but if you need anything else, uh, well, you could come to this closet yourself, right?”

It was in the middle of the hallway, in between the door to Thomas’s bedroom and the bathroom. If Aaron got cold during the night, he probably would try to keep sleeping.

“Sure. Don’t worry.” October in New Jersey wasn’t that cold anyway, right?

On Sunday, he went back to his dorm with James after lunch. He hadn’t intended to stay that long, and when he realized Thomas was cooking and they were still working in his living room he was mortified, but James laughed at him, and later so did Thomas. They were borderline mean, and that shouldn’t have made him at ease, but it was a weird change from everything he was used to, and Thomas’s food smelled delicious. In moments, he was glad he had stayed, and had a great time.

Thomas’s place wasn’t very far from their dorm; just a fifteen minute walk, and Aaron spent the first ten minutes debating with himself whether he should ask or not. He knew it was none of his business, but didn’t friends talk about that sort of thing?

“How long have you known Thomas?” he asked nonchalantly.

James sighed. “I’ve known him all my life.”

“Oh, that’s nice then. You stay at his place often?”

“Sometimes,” he shrugged. “It’s not that I don’t like my roommate, but…”

“But he’s not your friend, and there isn’t a door separating you.”

James chuckled. “Yes, exactly. And what about you? Do you like your roommate?”

That wasn’t a difficult question, but Aaron was surprised nevertheless at how easily the truth slipped out of his lips. “Yeah, he’s okay.”

James seemed surprised, but didn’t elaborate on what exactly surprised him.

He didn’t know Aaron that well after all, so maybe he smiled like that when he was relaxed or sleep-deprived. Who could tell?

When Aaron woke up at six thirty on Wednesdays, he thought of his uncle and tried not to feel angry. When he did on Thursdays, he sighed and questioned his life choices. Those were the only two days in which he had class at 8 am, and he was one of the four freshmen in one of those, but it didn’t have any prerequisites, and he’d investigated a little before he enrolled in it. Still, he knew that if his uncle heard about it, he would ask Aaron why he was taking it and Aaron wouldn’t know what to say. He didn’t think he wanted to go in Mechanics, but it was still an engineer class, and he was an engineer major, so why not?

Aaron had grown up imagining interrogations in his head about anything he chose to do. If he ever went to a shrink, they would probably tell him that was one of the reasons he was so reluctant to choose anything at all, when he could help it. But he wasn’t going to a shrink, and he didn’t know what to do about it. Because the thing was, he knew what to expect from an interrogatory with his uncle. He just didn’t know what to expect when it was anybody else making the questions, especially someone with the reputation of the girl that cornered him before he could leave the classroom once the class was over.

“Why are you taking this class? You’re a freshman.”

Aaron shrugged. “It didn’t have any pre-requisites and it seemed easy.”

She arched one eyebrow and placed a hand on her hip, looking oddly menacing for someone her height. “That’s a little irresponsible.” He shrugged looking sheepish, but she stopped him with a hand before he could say anything. “You’re not irresponsible, you’re actually a little too cautious.”

“How can you be so sure? You barely know me, Angelica.”

“Recklessness is a treat easy to see, and so is the opposite. You’re the kind of guy that won’t speak in class even when you know the answer. You don’t want to be noticed, but you’re polite to everyone and don’t have any trouble making friends, so I presume it’s all about not making enemies.”

“It sounds like you’ve given it much thought.”

She shrugged, looking nonchalant. “I don’t like that class. I get bored, and I’m helpless at drawing anyway, so I started checking who was good to start a study group. You sit next to me, so logically, I noticed you first.”

“Huh.”

“You like drawing, don’t you?”

“I guess.” Did he like it? He knew he would do it, just, all the time. He got bored often and felt uncomfortable using his phone in class, so he would absentmindedly draw at the edges of the pages. And well, he did it when he had time also, when he didn’t need to study, or when he’d been studying for too long and needed a break. Yes, he liked it, he did it a lot. That was the only possible reason for him to purposefully carry around a tiny block so he always had blank paper in hand. It was relaxing, and it helped him clear his head.

Why else would he waste so much time doing it in his room, when he had other things to do?

If he focused enough on the details he could pretend it was all about the furniture, polishing his technic for his class. A bed, a drawer and a window weren’t exactly similar to screws and engines, but it helped practicing forms, deepness and consistency.

Also, the human form resting peacefully was a nice touch too. At first, Hamilton remained a raw silhouette, features abstract, hair just a large black spot surrounding the ball that was his head, but then he started paying more attention to his forehead and nose, to the line of his chin, and the shadow of his closed eyes. He could admit to himself that he found his roommate attractive, but he looked so much younger asleep, it was a weird, conflicting sight. It was a beautiful one nevertheless, but not as beautiful as he looked when he was arguing. It probably was that… recklessness, a treat easy to see, if Angelica Schuyler was to be believed, and Aaron would always believe her. He didn’t think they’d spoken more than a hundred and fifty words in all the semester, but they would usually share looks when the professor said or did something funny, and they would smile at each other if they met on campus. Angelica was a beautiful girl, and Aaron wondered how come he never thought of drawing her. Not that he went around drawing people all the time, in fact, he tried not to. And if anybody found out he was putting so much attention to the lines in Alexander’s jaw on paper, he would be mortified. It was a good thing Alexander liked to talk so much, because he could subtly stare at him with no repercussions. When he suddenly realized he was inspecting the guy’s Facebook page just to get a good look at his eyes, he was mildly concerned about his mental state.

It was ridiculous because they didn’t even see each other that often. Their schedules were completely different, and almost never were in their room at the same time. They weren’t even sleeping at the same time, because one would always wake up and leave before the other and many times Alexander would stay in the library or in his friends’ apartment until way pass the time Aaron fell asleep.

And yet, they weren’t strangers. The few times they did meet, Alexander always had something to say, and he liked to hear Aaron’s opinion, for some reason.

Once the midterms were over, Aaron felt like he was seeing Alexander for the first time in two weeks, and he was seeing him more than ever… seeing him, asleep. The guy barely woke up at all on the three days that followed, and if Aaron had gone back to his room at four on Tuesday to find him sleeping again, he would’ve called an ambulance, but at the end he didn’t have to. Alexander was there though, which was a little weird, but at least his eyes were open and he’d showered.

“Hey,” Alexander greeted him with a smile, and put his laptop, that had been on his lap, aside. “Were you the one leaving me all those water bottles and sandwiches this weekend?”

Aaron had been honestly afraid at some point, thus he came up with a way he could make sure the guy was staying hydrated. He nodded. “You didn’t look capable of moving to the cafeteria… or even walking to the door for a delivery guy, to be honest.”

Alexander chuckled and rubbed his face with a hand. “Yeah, I was tired, catching up on the sleep I lost while I studied. Thank you, really. I don’t know what I’d’ve done without you.”

Aaron shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Hey, I realized I didn’t know what your major was?”

“Engineering.”

“Really?” Hamilton looked surprised. “Huh.”

“You seem surprised?”

“No, I guess it’s not weird, I mean… you’re pretty quiet and you must be super smart, but since you’re drawing all the time I didn’t think it was just a hobby.”

“Oh. Well, I do have a class of technic drawing,” he shrugged. “Perhaps you’ve just seen me doing my homework.”

“But you always carry a tiny block with you, don’t you?” he blushed. “And I’ve seen you drawing flowers. It’s a nice hobby, if that’s all it is, really. I can’t draw shit, so I’m always amazed whenever I meet people so talented.”

“Exactly how many of my drawings have you seen, Alexander? I’m not _talented_ , I just draw when I’m bored. It’s merely to kill time.”

“Oh, okay. If you say so.”

“Why would I lie?”

“I don’t know, Aaron, why would you?”

Aaron sighed. “I don’t think I know your major either?”

“Political science.”

“Now that is definitely not a surprise,” he smirked. “You like it?”

“Yes! It’s what I’ve always wanted! Uh…” he scratched the back of his head and then left his arm over the pillow, turning slightly to get a better look at Aaron, “and you? Do you like engineering?”

Aaron rolled his eyes and lied back in the bed. “Sure,” he lied easily. “This year isn’t as challenging as it should become in the future, but I like it.”

“That’s cool. So you weren’t absolutely destroyed by your midterms?”

Aaron chuckled and shook his head, distractedly reaching out for his block. “No, I was not. And you? How do you think you did? Was it worth it to lose so much sleep?”

“Yes.”

Aaron arched one eyebrow, and Alexander turned to face him fully, crossing his legs in the lotto position. “I mean, I think I did great, so yes. It was worth it.”

“And you think the only way of achieving those results was to study yourself to exhaustion?”

“It worked.”

“It looked dangerous.”

Alexander rolled his eyes.

In all honesty, Aaron was an apprehensive person. He avoided risks as much as he could, and spotted danger more easily than others. He wasn’t paranoid, but he considered that most things simply weren’t worth the trouble. Jeopardizing what little comfort he could get wasn’t something he looked forward to, at all. He wasn’t bold, like his sister had been. He’d always relied on her to convince him when he was missing out on stuff because of that fear and caution, like when he was afraid to ride a bike or learn to roller skate or to put on the skis. They were all activities he now loved, but if he’d been alone, he probably never would’ve tried them.

Now Sally was gone, but he figured he was old enough to stay in his comfort zone if he wanted. The things people his age experimented with didn’t sound so fun anyway.

Another person that didn’t like to step out of his comfort zone was Hercules.

Hercules had grown up with his grandmother and had been used to being just the two of them. She’d been a dressmaker and he’d learnt all about her little business, but deep down he always knew he’d need to find another job. They could barely survive with what she made, and every year she got sicker, and every year he grew more and more aware of what little they had. When he turned thirteen, he started cleaning pools, but there weren’t many pools to clean in the month of October in Princeton, New Jersey, so he tried babysitting, but he wasn’t very good with kids if he had to be honest. He wasn’t very good with people at the time, if he had to be honest. He was too worried, and his grandmother didn’t like that he was working so young when he’d been doing so good in school, and his teachers were starting to ask why he’d started falling asleep in class. But not much later he found the perfect job for a thirteen year old boy: he became a dog walker. People were complicated, but to him, dogs were easy to handle. Eventually, he reached an agreement with his grandmother and he merely spent an hour every day walking different dogs from all around the city, he went to bed early, and kept good grades. He never understood why she cared so much about grades, when he never intended to go to college. It was too expensive, and even if he got a scholarship, he couldn’t leave his grandmother. She was old and tired and got sick all the time, and the money was never enough, and to keep a good scholarship he would need excellent grades, so study would keep time from him in which he could’ve been working. So, college was never really an option, not in his head.

He never told his grandmother, and to this day, he’s a little sorry for it, because he then learnt that she died hoping he could go to a good school.

But there was no way he could follow her wishes. Not when he was a seventeen year old kid with no family, no job or a place to live. He could only keep walking dogs while social services searched for a place to put him for the seven months he still had as a minor. He never told his customers what was going on, but one Mr. Sanders was a nurse that had been working when his grandmother arrived to the hospital with an aggravated pneumonia, and knew it all. He contacted a client of his wife—who was a lawyer—that owned a little restaurant in the school area, for the college students. He lived alone in the second floor, and had a room for him, and a job. Hercules couldn’t thank them more.

Mr. Franklin soon became Hercules’s guardian angel.

Mr. Franklin belonged to that 10% that had divorced their soulmates, and had no other family alive. He took Hercules in and treated him like his own, taught him everything about his business and without ever telling him, included him in his will as his only heir—not that there was anybody else to place, but without such a document, Hercules would’ve been homeless merely fourteen months later. But he wasn’t.

Mr. Franklin passed in his sleep one night. Apparently he had been expecting it, due to a condition, an old illness he’d been living with for several years, which Hercules knew nothing about. So he woke up one day and was alone again, but he also was the owner of a house and his own restaurant, fully functional. He would miss Mr. Franklin, but with his new responsibilities as the sole owner of the place, came other losses. Through the year and two months he spent learning everything about running a restaurant for college kids, he gradually stopped walking dogs, clearing one day of the week every month, but when he reached the Saturday, he cheated a little. He kept four dogs, and changed the time, so he could go on Sunday evenings, when he was free. He wasn’t sure if Mr. Franklin knew, because he never told him, but the fact that the old man never questioned what he was doing every week at the same time was a little weird.

If he closed earlier on Sundays, there was a chance he could keep walking the Lafayette’s dogs, but he knew he would be exhausted and it wasn’t responsible of him to keep up a commitment he probably would break several times, so he tried quitting through a phone call, because he knew that if he went to the house he probably wouldn’t be able to do it. He should’ve known Gilbert would demand to see him.

Hercules had sighed and agreed, but before he could give him the address, the boy hung up.

When his grandmother died, his plan had been to not tell anyone for as long as he could. He didn’t need pity, and since he walked a lot of rich people’s dogs, he knew they would think he was only telling it so they would give him more money, and he would’ve hated that. However, he had grown to be quite close to the Lafayette family, partly because they had great dogs, and partly because they had a son three years younger than him that sometimes would join him, claiming he couldn’t believe Hercules was capable of walking so many dogs at the same time without trouble.

They became friends, naturally, and when his grandmother died, he had to tell him.

If the Lafayettes thought he wanted more money, they didn’t show it. They did ask, however, what would happen to him, and if he had other family near. He lied and said he did, though he could tell they didn’t believe him, but never insisted. No matter what he lied about, they never insisted. They understood that sometimes people just couldn’t tell the truth, and Hercules liked that. There were so many people that didn’t.

When Hercules had first started talking to Gilbert, he always thought of him as a kid, and he was a little shocked when, after three weeks in France, he came back being almost as tall as him, and looking quite handsome too. So Hercules started thinking of him more as a friend, instead of as a little brother, which was relieving, because he didn’t have any other close friends.

Still, he never invited him to Mr. Franklin’s place. He told him he was living in a restaurant with an old man, but nothing more, and yet, twenty minutes after he hung up, he was outside.

“ _What do you mean, you won’t be able to walk our dogs anymore?_ ” he had asked. Hercules could still remember he was wearing the pants of his school’s uniform and an old sweatshirt, which meant he had been changing the moment he made the call, and then flew out the door on his bike.

Hercules said Mr. Franklin had died, and Gilbert _cried_ , thinking it meant Hercules would leave town. If Gilbert hadn’t been a fifteen year old brat, perhaps he would’ve kissed him.

Hercules had tried to calm him down but had no idea how. The boy wasn’t even listening to him, wailing there in the middle of the street because they never made it inside, and at ten in the morning, the few joggers that passed them all shamelessly stared. He ended up yelling “ _I’m not going anywhere, Gil, I’m just busy!_ ” a little desperately, and Gilbert finally stopped crying.

“ _Oh,_ ” he had blushed, “ _you must think I’m so stupid_.” He then stared at the floor and rubbed his right eye brusquely.

Hercules had winced as he watched him, so he held his wrist to stop it and muttered: “ _No,_ ” he smiled encouraging, “ _I think you’re cute._ ”

Hercules would still chuckle each time he remembered that day. Gilbert had been mute for a full minute, and then had stuttered his way out, but ever since that day, they texted constantly. They had always been in touch before, but not like that. Not with good morning and good night texts, not complaining about their everyday stuff, not sending pictures of cute dogs they saw on the street. It hadn’t been that way before, but to this day it still was, and Hercules loved it.

He loved Gilbert.

He probably had done it for a long time, but it took him a while to realize it wasn’t in the same way he had loved his grandmother or Mr. Franklin. It took him a while to realize he wanted to kiss him.

But the day he did, he did it all of a sudden.

It happened six months ago, in the month of May. Gilbert had called him early one Sunday and asked if he could visit, and Hercules had agreed, only mildly concerned, but when he’d seen him… if he had to be honest, Gilbert cried easily. He did, he cried with many movies, with some songs even, and when a situation surpassed him, he cried. Hercules had seen him many times, and had stayed with him, joking, long after it passed.

He had never seen him like that.

The swollen eyelids, the red face, the collar of his shirt damped from the stream of tears he could see down his neck, it was an awful, heartbreaking sight. Hercules had run to hug him before he stepped down of his motorbike.

“ _I’m leaving_ ,” he had explained hoarsely.

“ _What?_ ”

“ _My father was transferred back. We’re going back to France._ ”

It was like Hercules’s world came crushing down a third time.

The first time it had been terrible, and nothing could ever compare. When he lost his grandmother he lost everything; his family, his home, even a thousand material things he couldn’t bring with him and simply, his childhood. He hadn’t been a proper kid for a while, but when his grandmother died, he had to turn into an adult. He had to be responsible for himself when some people twice his age wouldn’t, when some people simply never did.

The second time, when he lost Mr. Franklin, it had been an echo of the first one, but he was in a better place. He was more independent, and he didn’t lose much else.

In both times, the one thing he hadn’t lost was Gilbert.

And like in very few occasions, Hercules cried.

He never did. Not even when he’d been a kid, he hardly cried when he got hurt or sad. He had cried a little in the hospital, and when he’d tried to wake up Mr. Franklin and realized he wouldn’t, but aside from that, Hercules didn’t think he’d cried since he was very little. But then, twenty years old and hugging Gilbert in the middle of the street in front of his restaurant one Sunday at seven in the morning, he cried, and Gilbert, though he probably did try to comfort him at the beginning, only cried harder in his shoulder.

He couldn’t tell how long it passed. Only that at some point, he ran out of tears, and so did Gilbert. They went upstairs, to Hercules’s room, and didn’t say a single word, they just, existed. Together. Like perhaps they never would again.

And to that thought, upstairs in his room, he started crying. However, that time Gilbert was capable of comforting him. He sat next to him and hugged him. Not tightly, not loosely, but just right, and Hercules cried. He cried, remembered he had to start preparing for the day, and cried some more.

And Gilbert didn’t say a thing. He just stayed there, hugging him, and Hercules wished, for no apparent reason, to kiss him. It wasn’t a sexual urge, not at all. He just wanted to kiss him, in the way one wants to hug someone. He wanted to know he was there, he wanted to _feel_ him, and he wanted to hold him, to breathe him.

He hadn’t done it; of course not. They were only friends, and Gilbert was in high school, for God’s sake.

He didn’t open the restaurant that day. He didn’t know until much later that week that Gilbert had gone downstairs and told the first one there, one of the two cooks, that Hercules didn’t feel good, and it wasn’t a lie. Hercules felt terrible, and he stayed in bed all day. And if Gilbert hadn’t appeared on his doorstep with George in his arms the next day early in the morning, he probably wouldn’t have opened on Monday either.

“ _I already was admitted into Princeton and never made any plans for college in France. Hell, I haven’t even written in French in a while. What if I make any orthographic mistakes on my tests? No, I’ll stay here, at least for another four years._ ”

As he hugged him, Hercules had cried again, and feared for a moment that that was a thing he _did_ now, but after six months, he hadn’t shed another tear.

“Hey hurry,” said Lafayette, throwing his jacket at him. “Are you ready? We’re going to be late.”

Hercules rolled his eyes. He had been ready for half an hour, but Lafayette hadn’t.

Their midterms were finally over, so the four of them were going out for drinks and they were meeting downtown. Gilbert had gone to Hercules’s place as soon as his last test was over and then stayed there, in their own private party, but nobody needed to know that. It wasn’t nice to hear about parties that you weren’t invited to, right?

Even though they went out late, they arrived at the bar around the same time Hamilton and Laurens did, who had met in campus. They had to wait in line for a few minutes and then were overwhelmed by the music, the bar too far and the dancefloor too tempting, and before he knew it, Gilbert was guiding Hercules by the hand towards the middle of it all, and they were dancing.

They hadn’t been officially together for long, and they hadn’t had any public dates. They would simply meet at Hercules’s place and eat or watch a movie. The closest thing to a public date they’d had was when they walked George together. It was nice, placing his hands on Gilbert’s hips while being surrounded by people.

After dancing for a while, Laurens spotted a table close to the bar and the dance floor and nodded towards it. It took them a minute or two, but eventually the four of them sat down, already a little tired.

“This is very fun and all,” said Laurens, “but I want a drink. I literally came out for drinks tonight. Didn’t we say we were going out for drinks?” he ran a hand through his hair. “Anybody has a fake ID?”

“I’m twenty one,” said Hercules.

“What? I could swear I heard you were twenty!”

“Well I was when we met, but now I’m twenty one.”

Laurens stared at him awestruck for a moment. “What the hell? Your birthday passed and you didn’t tell us?”

Hercules shrugged. “I never make anything big. Gil came over and we ate some cake. Actually, I think I offered you cake the next day, it was like a month ago?”

“Dude, I feel so left out. I mean, we’re supposed to be a group, right? What’s that of you two having private parties?”

“Well,” Lafayette grinned mischievously, “my relationship with Herc is a little different than the one I have with you, guys.”

Laurens rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you’ve known each other for years. Whatever. I know.”

Hercules cleared his throat. “It’s a little bit more than that.”

Laurens stared at them for a solid minute, studying their twin enigmatic grins and the way Hercules had casually thrown an arm over Lafayette’s shoulders.

“You guys are dating?”

Alexander stared at Laurens with arched eyebrows and an amused smile. “You didn’t notice?”

Hercules covered his mouth with a hand, and Lafayette glared at Hamilton, looking offended. “You mean you knew?”

“Of course I knew,” he shrugged. “You were clearly only starting when we met so I didn’t say anything in case it didn’t work out, but it’s been almost two months so I guess it’s working.”

Laurens stared at him now, still in shock. “I’ll never understand allos,” he shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, getting some locks out of place. He huffed and proceeded to redo his ponytail.

“What does that mean?” whispered Hercules in Lafayette’s ear.

“An allosexual person is someone who experiments sexual attraction. So basically, 99% of the earth’s population,” explained Alexander, giving John a pitiful look. He sighed and shook his head. “The poor guy goes around not understanding people.”

“Yep, that’s the story of my life. Anyway, I can’t believe you didn’t tell us about your birthday. Next year we’ll be celebrating it big, and yours too, Laf. When is it?”

Lafayette giggled guiltily. “It already passed too, but in my defense, I don’t think I even knew any of you when it did. September sixth? For nineteen glorious days, Herc is only two years older than me.”

Hercules rolled his eyes. “That’s not technically true. I mean, I’m two years and eleven months older. It never changes.”

“Shut up, in my mind it does,” replied Lafayette sticking out his tongue and then loudly kissing his cheek.

“Oh my God,” mumbled John, “I’m actually very clueless, aren’t I?”

Alexander chuckled. “Yeah, you are. But we love you like that, so never change.”

“I don’t think I could if I tried,” he admitted. “Well. Are you, or are you not going to get some drinks for us, legal adult?”

Hercules shook his head and chuckled, but stood up. “Come with me, I’ll need help to carry them all.”

“Yes, sir!”

Alexander and Lafayette watched them go with amusement, but as soon as they disappeared behind a wall of people, Alexander placed his elbows in the table and leaned forward to ask conspiratorially: “Are you planning on getting tested?”

“No,” said Lafayette, relaxed.

“No?”

“No.”

Alexander pursed his lips. “Why not?”

Lafayette sighed. “We’ll do it eventually, I guess, but just not yet. We’re happy the way we are. We’ll wait until we’re on a firmer place, where a negative result won’t crush us.”

Alexander nodded as if he understood, but kept his brow furrowed. He licked his lips. “But what if you are?”

Lafayette shrugged. “Then it’ll be awesome, I guess.”

“You really aren’t dying to know?”

“No, Alexander, I’m not.” Lafayette rolled his eyes, but his smile was fond. He understood that some people just _needed_ to know, right away. Soulmates were an important part of life, they were everywhere on popular culture, and they sounded like a very good deal, but Lafayette knew that what he had with Hercules was good. It made him feel good. Still, he had no way of knowing if they were soulmates, and that was okay. He didn’t need to know, because if he were to find out that they weren’t… how would that affect them? He liked to think that it wouldn’t change anything, but he couldn’t be sure. It was too terrifying, the idea that their relationship could get ruined by something as random as that.

Because for some people, it was really, _really_ important, and they seemed to think that all they needed for a relationship to be successful was that they had to be soulmates, and seemed to condemn those that weren’t, as if they were fools for even trying to find happiness with someone that wasn’t _meant_ for them. Gilbert hated that. He didn’t need to know that God or Fate did a specific person justly for him. He was fine with Hercules. He was in love, and he was happy, and that was enough.

He only hoped his parents would approve when he told them.

Because honestly, parents were a scary deal nowadays that the ‘ _What you want is valid_ ’ movement was taking force. Theirs had been a generation with exceptional success when it came to finding their soulmates, and when talking to their children they sounded even more obsessed than teenagers.

There were even some parents that went around, testing their kids with everybody as if in a witch hunt, and then encouraged them to marry whatever stranger that turned out positive.

Maria had told Aaron a few weeks ago that had been the way she met her soulmate, back when she was fifteen. Her mother had been insane, and her soulmate, a man several years older than her, grew quite close to her in the years that followed. Maria had to convince him to let her finish high school—her mother wanted her to get married right away—and he agreed, but when she received a scholarship to Princeton, he got angry. She didn’t go into details, but by her grimace, Aaron could tell that convincing him that second time hadn’t been easy, which made his blood boil. Still, he didn’t say anything about that and simply offered her to get together to study more often, since she had a lot of pressure to keep her scholarship, and she seemed very happy about the suggestion.

It was the first day back from fall recess while studying in the library that Aaron reached his limit. Maria had rolled up her sleeves absentmindedly but quickly undid it as soon as she realized what she’d done. Still, it was too late. Aaron had seen the ugly bruises already, and there was no way he could ignore them.

“Maria?”

“Did you finish reading the second chapter? There’s a part I can’t understand…”

“Maria, please, let’s talk about it.”

She tightened her lips and kept her eyes glued to the book she’d been studying from. “I came here to study, Aaron.”

“What happened? It looked painful.”

“It’s not. It just looks ugly.”

“What happened?”

“Aaron, I really—”

“You don’t have to describe me exactly what happened, I just want to know if it was an accident.”

She gulped. “Sure,” she lied. “It was.”

Aaron sighed and rubbed his forehead. “You’re such a terrible liar. One day I’m going to help you with that, just not today.”

She blushed, but whether it was in embarrassment or fury, Aaron couldn’t tell. “Don’t laugh at me, Aaron.”

“I’m not laughing,” he muttered calmly, staring at her. “You’re my friend, I care about you. It just upsets me to see you hurt.”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

She inhaled sharply and looked away. “What do you know?”

“I’ve seen it before, the hand shaped bruises, the control… when is your curfew?”

“I don’t have a curfew.”

“When?”

“Ten thirty.”

“And how do you feel, when the time to go home approaches?”

She bit her bottom lip as her eyes filled with tears, stared at Aaron for a minute, and tried to say something but decided not to. She looked down.

“You don’t have to stay there, Maria,” said Aaron, squeezing her hand reassuringly, giving her his best smile. “You’re not married. All you have to do is move out. If you’re worried he’ll come after you, there are measures that can be taken—”

“But he’s my soulmate,” she interrupted him, sobbing. “He’s supposed to be my best shot at happiness, right?”

“Perhaps, but not the only one.”

“What else can there be?”

“Sometimes Fate is wrong, Maria. Sometimes…”

“Aaron!”

Aaron knew that having that conversation in the library had been a mistake. Still, he tried to smile at the newcomer. “James, hello…”

James sat down cheerfully next to him and dropped his backpack and the pile of books he was carrying on the table. “Oh,” his eyes widened, mortified as he noticed Maria’s face, “am I interrupting? I’m so sorry…”

“No,” she shook her head and gulped, “don’t worry. We were just discussing soulmates.”

“Ah,” he grimaced, “what about them?”

She shrugged. “Sometimes they suck, I guess.”

He sighed and threw his head back, staring at the ceiling. “To be honest, I don’t get soulmates.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t get them. What does it mean? Your blood makes a weird thing when it gets mixed, sure, but,” he licked his lips and stared at her, “so?”

“Well, they’re supposed to make you feel different too, you know? And,” she narrowed her eyes and fidgeted with the hem of her jersey, “and they’re supposed to love you forever, and…”

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Who says they’re supposed to love you? And if they do, who says that love has to be romantic? I just think people love to speculate about things they know nothing about.”

Suddenly, to Aaron everything made sense. “Who’s your soulmate, James?”

James cleared his throat and looked around the room nervously. “You already know the answer to that, don’t you?”

“It’s mere speculation.”

James sighed and threw his head back again. “Yes, Aaron. Thomas is my soulmate.”

Maria stared at him. “And you’re not together?”

“No.”

“Why?”

James shrugged. “Why would we?”

“But don’t you love him?”

“Of course I do. He’s my best friend, and I’ve known him since I can remember. How could I _not_ love him? But I’ve known we’re soulmates since first grade. Do you remember what dating and marriage were like when you were six?”

“How did you know?”

James grinned ruefully. “Our parents had a terrible sense of humor.”

Maria gasped. “Oh, shit.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “When we were younger we just assumed that we would get married eventually because that’s what soulmates do, you know? But now,” he shook his head, “we’re always going to be friends.”

“I don’t think James would want to be just my friend.”

James frowned. “Then he doesn’t deserve anything more.”

She bit her bottom lip and blinked away tears.

“Hey,” James squeezed her hand, “no, don’t cry. Look at me and try to be honest. Do you love him? Do you miss him, when he’s not around?”

She closed her eyes and shook her head.

“Then you ought to leave him. Don’t waste your life with someone you don’t love just because some medic test tells you it’s right. It has to _feel_ right too.”

She released a watery sigh. “But where could I go? There’s only a little over a month left of the semester. Shouldn’t I wait?”

“The school has to give you a room, Maria, and if they don’t, we’ll find you another one, right?” he glanced at Aaron, who nodded reassuringly. “In fact, we don’t even have to look. Thomas has an extra room, you can stay there as long as you need.”

She frowned and licked her lips. “You mean your soulmate? Are you sure you can just take that decision?”

James rolled his eyes. “That room is practically mine anyway, don’t worry.”

“You know what? You should call Thomas. Don’t tell him we’re listening, and if he doesn’t seem too reluctant, we’ll go to get Maria’s stuff right away.”

James seemed thrilled with the idea, and called him right away.

“ _Jimmy_.”

“Thomas, hey, I have a big favor to ask.”

“ _Well shoot. I’m not busy._ ”

“A friend of mine is having some trouble at her place and, do you think she could stay in your guest room for a few days?, just until she gets a new room here on campus. She’s a freshman, so it shouldn’t take long.”

Aaron had known that Thomas wouldn’t say no to James. He was pretty sure James could ask him to sell a kidney to save a puppy he saw on Facebook and Thomas would say yes, but he wasn’t expecting the tenderness in his voice, much less the enthusiasm, as he said: “ _Of course she can. When is she coming?_ ”

It made sense when he saw James’s radiant smile. He figured Thomas must have been picturing it quite accurately.

“Is right now a good time?”

Thomas chuckled. “ _Yes, of course._ _I’m not home but I should get there soon._ ”

“Thank you.”

“ _Don’t mention it_.”

“Shouldn’t we wait until he arrives?”

“Why? I’m sure getting all your stuff will take us some time. Besides, I have my own key.”

Maria seemed unsure for a moment, but then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she was a completely different person. Aaron didn’t think he’d ever seen her so determined.

“Let’s go. I’d like to be gone before he’s back.”

“Of course, if I have to be honest, I’d like that very much also,” admitted James.

They took a cab, and the way there was bubbly. The three of them were nervous, but they were happy it was happening, and James kept making comments about how little he could help if Maria’s soulmate appeared. By the time they arrived, they were stressed, and Maria’s fire was just about gone.

“Hey,” Aaron placed his hands in her shoulders comfortingly, “we’re doing this together, okay? This is right. You want to do this, I want you to do this, and I’m going to make sure you’ll be okay. I promise.”

Maria smiled hesitantly and hugged him. Aaron didn’t think they’d ever hugged before, but he responded just as tightly.

Up in the apartment, she needed a moment before turning the key. When she did, James gasped.

“How often do you take out the garbage?”

“Every two days, why?”

“Who could consume that many pizza boxes in two days?”

“Oh,” she cleared her throat and blushed. “Well, actually, those are all from last night, and well, today’s breakfast.”

“Dear God, Thomas would have a heart attack if he listened to this. For all that it’s good, don’t mention it. And never propose to have some kind of take out or delivery, he hates them. No matter how tired he is, he always cooks.”

“Okay…” mumbled Maria, a little stunned.

The moment James wasn’t around, Maria grabbed Aaron’s arm and stood on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear: “I swear I don’t understand him.”

Aaron chuckled. “It’ll make more sense when you meet Thomas…” he frowned, “or actually, it probably won’t. No, I think it’ll only be more confusing then.”

She giggled. “Great. That’ll keep me busy.”

Packing all of Maria’s things didn’t take them long, which in itself was indignant, really Maria was an eighteen year old girl, a college student, and barely had any books or clothes. She let behind half her closet because it all belonged to her soulmate’s grandmother and wasn’t her style at all, and then didn’t take pretty much anything else because she didn’t feel like nothing was hers. No decorations, no coffee mugs, no pictures. Maria didn’t have anything of her own. She had lived as a guest in her own apartment, keeping everything clean and proper for an almost-stranger, just because her mother had decided to test her with every single person she knew when she was fifteen.

Sometimes, life is unfair, and there isn’t much people can do about it. Things happen, people do stupid shit that affects others in ways they cannot understand, and human beings learn to live with the consequences. Many times, that is a good thing. Many times, that has been what had kept humanity where it is.

But sometimes, it is not.

Sometimes, a person shouldn’t just accept the things that happen to them. Sometimes they need to act, to fight back, to take back what is rightfully theirs, like their freedom.

Aaron never thought he was free. He never _felt_ free. But that afternoon, packing Maria’s stuff, helping her to find her footing again, he started to think that maybe one day, he could be free as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that getting out of abusive relationships is not that simple, but Maria had a foot out the door since the beginning, which should become more obvious later.  
> I hope you all liked it! Thanks for reading!


	3. Routine, interrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely no impulse control whatsoever. Enjoy!

When they arrived to Thomas’s apartment he was already there, and seemed flabbergasted that Maria had brought so few things with her but didn’t comment on it. He simply showed her the room that would be hers and proceeded to make some ground rules—such as what things on the fridge and pantry were off limits and his hair products.

Aaron studied Maria’s reaction, and concluded that whatever she had been expecting, it hadn’t been Thomas, and he wasn’t surprised. The truth was that everybody seemed to know what they were talking about when they said that soulmates were supposed to be the perfect complement, but no one could really tell how that should be for any person in particular. Was it about the things they lacked, about the things they liked? It was too vague, which was probably why it enchanted most people, no matter their differences.

For two weeks, James was unable to use the guest—his?—room in Thomas’s apartment, and found himself quite shocked at how much his routine had changed. It wasn’t that weird, since James was always reluctant to change, and the last two months had been so different from everything he was used to, but he hadn’t even noticed how often he stayed at Thomas’s place. It wasn’t even that he didn’t like his room. His roommate was a nice guy, but he, well, he wasn’t Thomas.

Still, the fact that he couldn’t stay there didn’t mean he couldn’t go, so he kept visiting and took advantage of Maria’s presence to be sure Thomas wouldn’t have any guests in the mornings he wanted to bring them breakfast. He was, in fact, starting to really like that arrangement. If Maria found it weird that he asked if Thomas brought anyone home, she didn’t comment on it, and he had no intention of elaborating on how weird it made him feel to be around people that probably hoped they were Thomas’s soulmate when he knew they weren’t.

However, it was all over too soon. One Saturday morning, while the three of them were eating breakfast—James hadn’t brought anything because he’d fallen asleep. Actually, if it hadn’t been for Maria’s call, asking if he was bringing anything, he probably would’ve kept sleeping. At the end, Thomas insisted he came anyway, that he could make some toasts for everybody.

“I’ll be out of your hair next week,” announced Maria.

Thomas took his time chewing his toast, but stared at her with narrowed eyes the full time. Still, she waited patiently for some input.

“Oh?” was, unsurprisingly, all that Thomas said.

“Yes, I got a single!”

“You’re getting your own room?” James used a napkin and stood up to hug her. “Oh, Maria, congratulations!”

Thomas hugged her as well, though not as tightly, but he was smiling sincerely. “When are you leaving?”

James glared at him, and Maria chuckled.

“I can go there today.”

“Great, we’ll help you pack.”

“Thomas!”

“That’s okay, I kind of want to go too. Not that I didn’t like being here!” she laughed cheerfully at Thomas’s offended stance. “Seriously, I could never thank you enough, guys.”

“We hardly did anything,” replied Thomas, walking towards the closet in the hallway. “Here,” he grabbed a huge basket with an even bigger red ribbon, and handed it to her. She could barely hold it. “Your hair is pretty. Start taking care of it like it deserves, girl.”

“Thank you, Thomas. Really.”

“For how long have you had that thing in there? You could’ve given it to her earlier,” commented James, with a hand on his hip and an arched eyebrow.

Thomas rolled his eyes. “That is none of your business, my friend, and it was a farewell present. I couldn’t give it to her while she was still living here indefinitely.”

Maria giggled and watched the exchange with an amused smile. She’d need to thank Aaron later; not only for rescuing her but for introducing her to people she surely wouldn’t have met on her own.

It wasn’t that Maria was an introvert, not really. She just had to learn to keep to herself when she was younger, since being too open about what she thought or liked only brought her trouble. She loved her mother, she really did, but the woman never respected her individuality. The perfect example of that was the thing with the strawberries.

Maria didn’t like strawberries. She never thought they were sweet enough, and the seeds got stuck between her teeth. She didn’t even like it when chocolate cakes had strawberry jam in them. But her mother loved them. Strawberries were her favorite fruit, and she would buy large quantities every summer, and then tell everybody that she and her daughter couldn’t survive an entire year without them. And really, that would’ve been okay, Maria didn’t mind if half the neighborhood thought she was obsessed with a fruit she couldn’t stand. The problem was that her mother actually believed it, and expected her to eat them. No matter how many times Maria tried telling her that she didn’t like them, her mother simply didn’t believe her. She’d say Maria was lying, only trying to annoy her, and would cry until Maria dutifully ate a full plate of the demonic red fruit. And Maria did, every time, because she didn’t like seeing her mother cry. She never thought it was wrong, because strawberries weren’t hurting her, she simply didn’t like them, but it was okay. She was okay. And maybe, if the strawberries had been the only thing, Maria would’ve been okay. The problem was that what happened with the strawberries happened with everything else, and without noticing, they reached a point in which Maria could no longer know what things she was doing because she actually liked them, or because her mother did.

Maria loved her mother, she really did. So when her mother dragged her to a laboratory and told her to stay put for 45 minutes so they’d get enough of her blood to test her with every single person her mother could convince—and since she worked at a bar, she could convince many—Maria complied. Her mother had always dreamt with finding her soulmate, but she never did. And because she never found her soulmate, she never married. Sometimes she would say to strangers that she thought Maria’s father had been her soulmate, but when Maria tried to ask what had been of him, she never answered. And because her mother didn’t get to marry her soulmate, Maria ought to.

She knew that, but she had been fifteen, and she had been doing so well in school, one of her teachers wanted to help her to get a scholarship to Princeton—Princeton! It was right there, forty minutes away from her town, and it was such a great school! If she got a scholarship, she might even get a big job, or she could go to grad school, or, or…

Or she could marry her soulmate, like she’d always wanted, right?

There were times in which Maria would end up crying because she couldn’t be sure if she honestly liked a particular movie or an artist, or if only her mother did.

She knew she didn’t like extremely violent movies, but her soulmate, James Reynolds, adored them. He used that word a lot, he just never used it when talking about her, though one time during sex he had said something about her ass that she didn’t like thinking about. Actually, she simply didn’t like thinking about Reynolds, period. Her mother asked her to go home earlier from school the day she got the result, and didn’t explain a thing until after Maria had entered and found a stranger man on her living room, wearing a mean grin and an ugly shirt.

There wasn’t any sparks, but her world did turn upside down after her mother told her what he was doing there. She looked so happy, that Maria had to smile at her, even if the guy’s cologne made her uncomfortable. She had thought that was only because it was all too unexpected, that later they would talk and get to know each other and everything would settle into place, that it would make sense, but it never did. She didn’t think she ever _knew_ who James Reynolds really was, not like she wanted to. There was no proper ‘dating’. She’d been fifteen, obsessed with romantic comedies, and never had a proper date. Her mother arranged for them to meet every Saturday, and when she turned sixteen she was allowed to stay overnight—which Maria never asked. In fact, she tried keeping that information from Reynolds, but he knew already, because her mother actually talked to him about it first. Soon enough she discovered that if she fed him enough alcohol, he’d fall asleep before touching her too much.

Whenever she wanted to leave, to simply walk out the door and get away from the man, her mother’s face appeared in her mind, and she couldn’t. She couldn’t for the life of her do something that she knew would make her mother upset, might even make her cry. How could she do that? When her mother had worked so hard…

When Aaron told her that she could move out, she had wanted to laugh. Hadn’t she known that already? Sure, she could leave him, but what would her mother say then? Her mother, a woman that hadn’t even bothered to call her after the one call she received the day she was moving, apologizing for not being able to make the forty minute trip and wishing her a happy birthday. Six months had gone by in which if she hadn’t called, she probably wouldn’t have heard her voice at all. Six months, and the woman didn’t bother to check the place in which her only daughter, her eighteen year old daughter was living with a man she barely knew that was several years older, and said woman was happy. Maria knew that, that her mother was happy for her, and Maria didn’t know how to tell her that she wasn’t.

At first it was frustrating that no matter how much she tried, there really wasn’t any substantial communication between her soulmate and her, but soon enough she stopped caring, resigned that all she would ever know about her soulmate was that she didn’t knew him at all, but after living with him for six months, she thought she had learnt a lot about him.

After living with James Reynolds for only six months, she could no longer tolerate the smell of alcohol and loud bangs terrified her. After living with James Reynolds, she’d learnt that she bruised easily, and that she had very firm hair. Still, she never thought she used the word ‘pretty’. She knew he never did, at least not when he was pulling it and calling her other things.

Her mother used that word a lot, and she would say Maria was just as pretty as her. She never taught her anything about taking care of that beauty, though, not really, and she’d been quite impressed by Thomas’s vanity, but he wasn’t hurting anybody, was he? She put all the contents of the basket in the cabinet of her attached bathroom, and stared at it when she was done. She’d never had anything to put in there aside from toothpaste and deodorant, and it felt ridiculously good, to have something of her own that wasn’t to cover a basic need. She didn’t know if Thomas had imagined the basket would bring her so much happiness, but she was grateful nevertheless, and she would miss living with him. She hoped she could still consider him a friend in the future.

‘Friend’ was such a marvelous word, and so many people didn’t appreciate it enough. Maria could never make that mistake. She loved her friends, and knew that if it weren’t for them, she never would’ve escaped her destiny—marrying Reynolds—and that was a future she tried not to think about. Hadn’t even when it was the only visible path for her, but now that it wasn’t, she pushed it back to the only place where it belonged, to her nightmares. She used to have a lot of nightmares when she was a kid, but her mother wasn’t nice when woken in the middle of the night, so she tried not to say anything until the next day, when, well-rested, she would hug her and, if she was lucky, offer her a chocolate instead of a strawberry.

After six months of living with Reynolds, Maria thought she had learnt a lot, but clearly not enough. If she really had known him, she would’ve known that he meant it when he said that if she wasn’t back in their apartment in two weeks, he would call her mother. And she should’ve known that her mother wouldn’t only cry, that she wouldn’t merely wonder what had gone wrong, and that she wouldn’t pick Maria’s side.

She was lucky the woman didn’t visit, because she knew that if she had, she would’ve followed her dutifully back to Reynolds’s place immediately, since she almost did just that after merely a phone call. She cried, and cried some more, and started packing. She had only finished half an hour earlier, but she didn’t have many things, so it didn’t take her long. In the bathroom cabinet though, she hesitated. Reynolds had a bunch of things he didn’t really use in their bathroom, and had complained when Maria put a tube of sunscreen in it. She had apologized and put it back in her bedside table, but she wouldn’t be able to put all the things Thomas gave her in the tiny thing, and they were clearly expensive. Reynolds may even steal them if he saw them. She considered giving them back, but that would have been rude, and if she asked Aaron to keep them—

Her ringtone, a cheerful song that Reynolds hated, made her jump, though the annoying rattle of her vibrating phone against her desk was just as scary. She answered the phone without checking who it was, afraid of what she’d do if she knew.

“ _Maria?_ ”

Her heart broke. Aaron sounded happy and relaxed, and she knew he would be disappointed in her.

“Hello.”

“ _Are you okay? You sound weird. You got settled in your new room already?_ ”

There was a lump in her throat. She tried to clear it. “Yeah, I did.”

“ _Do you want me to come over?_ ”

“No, no, don’t worry. I’m going out anyway; I need to get some stuff.”

“ _I do too,_ ” she was impressed. If she hadn’t known him so well, hadn’t known that he bought anything he might need on Monday afternoons, she would’ve believed him. Aaron was an amazing liar. “ _Where are you going?_ ”

She recognized what he was trying to do, and her eyes filled with tears. If he was disappointed in her, he didn’t show. Instead, he was subtly trying to reach her, to see her and perhaps talk her out of whatever foolishness she was about to do. She shook her head, even though he couldn’t see her.

“I don’t know,” she whispered.

“ _You don’t know?_ ”

She sobbed. “No, Aaron, I don’t know what I’m doing. Could you please come over?”

“ _I’m outside_.”

She opened the door, and he immediately put his arms around her. “What happened?” asked he, softly.

“He called my mother. The bastard called my mother.”

“What did she do?”

“She called me. She ordered me to go back,” she took a step back and rubbed her eyes. He softly directed her to the bed and sat down with her. “She’s convinced that I’m making a huge mistake and,” she took the tissue he was offering her and cleaned her face, “she wants me to apologize. She said that I’m being stupid and that if I don’t go back, she’ll never talk to me again.”

“Maria—”

“And I know that she means it!”

Aaron didn’t know what to say to that. He too, could believe that she meant it. Although she probably wouldn’t disappear right away, but insist for a while, for she knew that Maria would give in, just like she always did. And she would, she would if he didn’t play his cards right, but he wasn’t the most appropriate person for the job, not when he was used to being the one in her position and still was, always, giving in, incapable of saying no, no matter how terrible whatever he was saying yes to was. But maybe because of that, maybe because he too wanted to be able to say no, he was just the right person to talk to her. He squeezed her hand.

“Why do you think this is so important to her? Maybe she feels like you’ll be safer with him, that he’ll be able to provide for you and that sort of thing?”

Maria shook her head. “No, she’s not that sensible,” she blew her nose. “He could be unemployed and sick and she would still want me to be with him. It’s just because he’s my soulmate,” she sobbed, “and she never found hers.”

“She’s trying to live through you.”

She nodded. “Yeah,” she gulped. “She’s always been like that, acted as if we were the same person.”

Aaron bit his bottom lip and studied Maria’s face. “That’s not healthy,” he whispered.

She shook her head. “No, it isn’t. But she’s my mother.”

“How often do you see her?”

She closed her eyes, and laughed. “I never see her. She hasn’t visited once, and I’ve been here since April. If I didn’t call her, we probably wouldn’t talk either.”

“So when she says that you’ll never talk again, really she just means she’ll stop answering the phone. Does she always answer?”

She released a shaky breath and shook her head. “No.”

“And does she call you back when she doesn’t?”

“No!”

Aaron looked around the room and spotted her remade bags. “Let me help you unpack, okay?”

She licked her lips and dried her eyes with the tissue. “Okay.”

Yes, Aaron was a good friend, even when none of them really knew what ‘having friends’ was like.

The best thing about her new room was that it was in the same building as Aaron’s, only two floors up, and four blocks from James’s. It wasn’t very big, but it was only hers, so whenever the library was too full, the three of them would move to her room to study.

“What are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?” she asked after about forty minutes of reading in silence. She was lying on her bed, James was sitting at her desk, and Aaron was on the floor with his back against her bed.

“I’m staying on campus,” said Aaron, closing the book he’d been reading.

“I’m going home,” said James, turning the chair around. “I’m the oldest of seven. If I didn’t go and help, my parents would resent me forever,” he chuckled. “Hey, how are you supposed to get a decent dinner on campus?”

Maria and Aaron shared a look and shrugged.

“I’m not exactly a good cook, I only know how to make easy stuff,” said Maria.

Aaron nodded and added: “I don’t think I’ve ever cooked anything before, unless coffee counts.”

James rolled his eyes. “You could use Thomas’s kitchen.”

Aaron shook his head and Maria chuckled.

“You really should stop offering Thomas’s apartment without asking him first.”

“Why?”

“Maybe because it’s not yours, you ever thought about that?”

James pursed his lips and looked away. He knew that, of course he did.

It was just that for some reason he didn’t like to hear it.

Still, he told Thomas about his idea and the man agreed immediately, and between the two they practically forced Maria and Aaron to take the keys of the apartment under the pretext of watering Thomas’s plants while they were in Virginia, which really wasn’t much of an excuse. Thomas cared about his plants, and when he went out, even for a couple of days, he made sure to hire someone that would water them. So really, having Maria and Aaron there was practically saving money.

James was glad that on Wednesdays his last class ended at three thirty, because Thomas had gotten tickets for them at five, which meant he’d need to pack early in the morning or the day before, and still they’d be running. The hour it took the cab to drop them at the airport was as tedious as stressful, but soon enough they were sitting in the plane, side by side, and James was able to breathe… a little. He was afraid of heights, so plane rides weren’t exactly his favorite form of transportation, but he didn’t own a car, and Thomas’s was at home, in Virginia. Anything else wasn’t really an option, if Thomas was to be questioned. Thomas placed a comforting hand in his left forearm and used his shoulder as a pillow.

“Wake me up in three hours, would you?” He yawned. “Check out if there’s a good movie.”

“Sure.” They both knew he probably would end up playing Tetris, but none felt the need to point that out. He almost forgot to wake Thomas up, which meant he had less time to check his hair was okay before it was time to land and to regain the certain amount of politeness and patience he would need to greet whoever went to pick them up. James almost felt guilty, but he didn’t. He was happy to be back.

They were finally home, where nothing ever changed, and under Jane’s fond gaze, James felt like an eight-year-old kid again, stepping into the airport for the first time back from New York with Thomas and his father, who had taken them with him to a business trip probably because he still felt guilty about complicating their lives at such a young age, and had almost panicked when James started crying after looking out the window.

James didn’t remember much else beyond Thomas’s arms around him and the stories he told him to keep him distracted. Thomas had always been a great storyteller.

“Hey guys, how was your flight?” Jane, who had gone to pick them up gratefully alone, greeted them with a big smile and a tight hug for each. In a way, she was James’s big sister too.

“Long,” whined Thomas.

James chuckled, but nodded. “It was a little long. I’m tired.”

Jane rolled her eyes.

“I swear I’m taking my car back this time. It’s not worth it. At the end it takes us around the same time.”

“You always say that and yet you never do because you rather sleeping.”

Thomas shrugged. “This time is different.”

“How so?”

“James is coming with me. I’ll make him drive, so I can sleep.”

Jane cackled while James stared at him in disbelief.

“I take it he didn’t ask you?” she asked him, and James shook his head.

“But you’ll do it, won’t you?”

James wanted to say no, but since he was physically incapable of saying no to Thomas, he simply didn’t say anything. The way to their houses wasn’t long, and soon enough James was waving a hand with a promise of going to greet Thomas’s parents in a few minutes as he entered his own house.

The first one to run to him was Cat, who had only started kindergarten that year and had many things to tell, and he listened carefully. He hadn’t thought that three months away from his family would feel so long, but they did, and he was happy to be home. At the end, he spent almost two hours talking with everybody—his brother Francis especially had many questions about a certain girl and they needed to have a very long, very thoughtful conversation—and by the time he knocked on Thomas’s door, it was well past eleven, but his mother still greeted him with a smile and looked happy to see him. She told him exactly what they would eat the next day just in case there was something he wanted to try, so she could save something for him, and commented—in the same way his parents had, earlier that day—that one year they should all simply eat together.

James chuckled and shook his head. Where would they put so many children? There was no space.

Upstairs, in Thomas’s room, he felt like the sixteen-year-old that had hugged Thomas tightly after he read his acceptance letter, incredibly proud and horribly sad at the same time. Thomas had never been further than a mile away, and he’d been terrified of how things would change with him being so far, but he should be relaxed now. At the end, nothing did. They were still best friends, and James still would stare at Thomas like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, because he was, and Thomas would still go out with beautiful women he could never compete against. Since Thomas had slept on the plane, he intended to stay awake with James most of the night, talking, but James hadn’t slept at all, and he was tired, so he left barely an hour later.

Thomas gave him an odd look when James said he was leaving, but all the words they exchanged were goodbye, and at the entrance door, the only person he met with was Jane, who was already wearing her pajamas and seemed to be on her way to the kitchen.

Jane had always known James. He was the neighbor next door, five years younger, and his mother always made better cookies than the ones her mother bought. The fact that even her parents would go to the Madison’s place after Christmas just for those cookies was quite the proof of how wonderful they were, and she had always hoped James would learn to bake them as well. So far, there hadn’t been such luck, but Thomas had learnt, which was better because he actually lived with her, well, had lived there, anyway.

She wouldn’t say she had a favorite sibling, but objectively speaking, Thomas was the one closest to her and they knew each other very well. She missed him. Sometimes she wondered if she missed him more or less than James did. She usually thought they were equaled, but she never got a boyfriend to fill in the void he left, so it was probably different. She wondered if James ever realized the only reason Thomas spent a semester abroad was so he wouldn’t need to go home for the spring recess and see him with Dolley.

She could always tell when something was upsetting James. He had always been a quiet boy, but he smiled easily, especially when visiting their house, and this time he hardly had smiled each time he said hello. He could be just tired, but Jane worried nevertheless. James was… fragile, delicate, or maybe that was just Thomas’s constant apprehension. Still, before they left on Sunday, she went to see him outside. He already had put his bags in the car, but Thomas wouldn’t be ready for at least twenty minutes, and she suspected James knew that, and yet, he had already said goodbye.

“Hey,” she stood in front of him, against the car’s hood, “is college too challenging?”

James smiled dejectedly. “It’s quite stressful, yes, but so far I’ve managed.”

She nodded and hummed, studying his face. He wasn’t lying. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Jimmy.”

James sighed and closed his eyes. “There’s nothing that you could do about it. Really, don’t worry.”

She arched her eyebrows and sat down next to him, bumping their shoulders together. “You do realize that whenever someone says ‘don’t worry’ the other person only gets more worried, right? It’s like a reflex.”

James shook his head but eventually rested it on Jane’s shoulder. “I made a promise some time ago, and now I regret it, but there’s no way I could go back in my word. It’s done. And I have to live with that.”

Jane frowned. “Well Jimmy, I like to think that I’m a woman of my word, but if I think back to all the promises I’ve made through my life then I surely couldn’t keep saying it.”

James released a watery chuckle and shook his head slightly, without really moving so Jane couldn’t see his face. “It’s not the same—”

“How is it not? I remember that in sixth grade I promised my best friend at the time that it wouldn’t matter that she was changing schools. I promised her we’d stay in touch, that I would call her and we would meet every weekend, and guess what? I didn’t call her once.”

“Everybody does that.”

“That’s exactly my point!”

“This is different, Jane. I’m not talking about the stuff one says to make others feel better, okay?”

Jane sighed and ran a hand though her hair. “Alright, if you say so.”

She didn’t believe him at all, but didn’t insist; even though she was certain James really needed to hear how he didn’t need to keep whatever agreement he was regretting. He needed to hear it, perhaps he even _wanted_ to, but she didn’t think it was the right time or place, and even if she felt that way, she wasn’t _actually_ his sister. And his _actual_ brother was all sulky and weird, which was terribly suspicious, but she wasn’t sure how to deal with that. Soulmates were always complicated, but Thomas and James… If she had to be honest, Jane didn’t know what to make of her brother and James. She knew they cared a lot about each other and that they were an important part of each other’s lives, but beyond that, well. They had been just kids. In most shows and movies nobody found their soulmate until they were at least seventeen, when thinking about marriage wasn’t as absurd and unrealistic as it would’ve been earlier, on top of how forced it always looked, to Jane at least. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in soulmates, but she didn’t think a relationship could blossom merely out of the knowledge of the fact, like many seemed to believe. Still, perhaps there was some touch of magic in them, a supernatural factor that pulled them together. Nobody could tell, science hadn’t discarded it, but she felt a little silly just thinking about it. However, soulmates or not, her brother and James shared a special bond, and anyone could see it. They made it look so easy, how they effortlessly would put the other’s necessities and preferences first and arrange their entire lives so they could fit the other in the particular place they had always been in without even thinking about it. Getting gifts for them had gotten ridiculous at some point because no one could give them something nearly as perfect as whatever they got each other, so Jane and Francis—it had been his idea, actually—had started going shopping with them for Christmas and birthdays.

She cleared he throat. “I’ll go see why Thomas is taking so long.”

James chuckled. “How much do you want to bet that he’s only now finishing his hair?”

“But he finished his shower like forty minutes ago!”

“How much?”

“Against you?” she shook her head. “Forget it. I learnt a long time ago not to make that mistake,” she winked. “Take care, Jimmy.”

“Thanks Jane. You too.”

She went upstairs, and wasn’t surprised to find her brother only then finishing his hair, but just because James had warned her about it. Almost two decades of sharing a bathroom with several siblings will do that, their schedules intertwining, all she could be sure of was that it always took him forever to be ready.

Surely the cause for the long face wasn’t helping him to move faster either.

“What’s bothering you?”

Thomas shrugged. “Nothing, everything, life? I don’t know.”

Jane sighed. “Wow. You and Jimmy are going through some tough times in life, huh?”

“Our parents kind of made sure to make life more complicated than necessary for us, Jane.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so harsh, Thomas. You know they did it because you were good friends, and that way you could grow up relaxed, knowing you weren’t soulmates.”

“But we _are_.”

“Yeah, but they didn’t know that at the time.”

He shook his head. “They didn’t need to tell us, if they didn’t have any good news to tell.”

“So knowing who your soulmate is, are bad news?”

“In certain circumstances, such as ours, yes.” He sighed. “Alright. How do I look?”

“Thomas, you’re going to be in a car for six hours. No one is going to see you.”

“I’m going to see my reflection in the mirror.”

“Then you’re enough of a judge, you don’t need anybody else’s opinion if your standards are the only ones that matter.” Her brother pouted, and she sighed. She knew his standards weren’t the only ones that matter, but if Thomas wasn’t sure what James would think, how was she supposed to know? “You look good. Just ask James. I’m sure you could be wearing a clown suit and he would still think you look great.”

Thomas turned around to make sure he had everything in his bag. “I’m ready. Is James outside?”

“Yeah, he’s been waiting for you for like an hour.”

“What? Damn…”

Jane watched him run half the stairs before he went back up to hug her goodbye. “I’ll see you in Christmas.”

“Okay. Call as soon as you can to let me know you arrived safely.”

“Will do.” He kissed her cheek, and ran downstairs.

James saw him arrive running with an arched eyebrow. “Relax, we still have time.”

“Jane said you’ve been waiting for an hour.”

James rolled his eyes. “I went out earlier so I could have some air. You know how I am with farewells.”

“Oh, right…”

“Come on,” James nodded towards the car. “It’s a long trip, and I get the feeling you won’t be making sure I don’t fall asleep.”

Thomas chuckled as he placed his bags in the back. “You got me there. But hey, since you’re driving, you can pick the music.”

“That’s such a blatant lie…”

“I promise!”

“Thomas, the moment I put a song you don’t like, you’ll change it and you know it.”

“Well sure,” he shrugged. “But whenever I put music you don’t like you know you can change it too.”

“Thomas, I like all your music.”

Thomas grinned. “Now that’s not my fault.”

For the first two hours or so, Thomas played with the music and they both sang loudly, which was just what James needed to stay awake because he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and Thomas seemed to notice. However, the man could only last so long, and started blinking for a little longer than necessary, so eventually James pulled over. Thomas didn’t even notice, and the phone fell down from his hand. James shook his head fondly and searched for some soft music he could hum to without waking Thomas up. Thomas once had slurred James had a perfect voice to sleep to, and James didn’t think he’d been lying, because not even a minute later, the man was soundly asleep.

Back in the highway, with the sun still high in the sky, James sighed. He was tired, but he wasn’t on a plane and that was worth the fatigue of a long drive. It took him an embarrassingly long time to find Thomas’s place in the underground parking lot, but he found it alone, and he considered it a big merit. It gave him time to breathe before he had to wake Thomas up. He’d had a good time, but he was exhausted, and for some reason he wasn’t feeling very fond of his room in Thomas’s apartment, but there was no way he was going to his dorm.

They were back, and things hadn’t changed at all, but at least they weren’t the only ones with bittersweet holidays.

The thing with bittersweet events is that you cannot help to remember the good things as well as the sad ones, and somewhat they end up mixed together in a way that depends on which part matters the most the feeling that prevails, and sometimes the hierarchy of those memories changes as time goes by. Sometimes, the bad parts are overwhelmingly terrible at the beginning, but eventually they stop being so important, and the good parts become something worth remembering from time to time. But it also happens that, on occasions, the good parts stop being so good, and what once was a conflicting memory turns into purely a negative one.

Alexander wanted to believe that the latter would never happen with his memories from his first Thanksgiving in Princeton. He had been surprised to discover that none of his friends were leaving town.

“It’s too little time to go home,” reasoned Lafayette, with a sardonic smile.

“I hate my house,” said Laurens with a shrug.                                                                                                           

“I live here,” said Hercules, staring at everybody as if expecting anyone to be surprised.

Alexander rolled his eyes, but inside he was thrilled about spending the holiday all together. He almost invited Aaron who would be staying as well, but before he could say anything the guy commented offhandedly how he was searching the internet for every recipe there was because he’d never cooked anything before and he was going to help a friend with their dinner. Alexander almost offered to teach him, but didn’t want to sound as overenthusiastic about spending time with his roommate as he felt, when clearly Aaron wasn’t nearly as interested in being friends. He thought they were though, friends. They simply weren’t the type of friends that spend time together outside of those occasions in which Fate arranged it, but that was okay, more than okay, really.

Hercules closed the restaurant on Thursday, and made an amazing dinner for the four of them with Lafayette’s help… if Lafayette was to be believed—though judging by Hercules’s amused and fond smile, he probably hadn’t helped that much. Nevertheless, it had been delicious, and fun.

Laurens spent a third of it playing with George under the table, and another third arguing with Lafayette over who the dog liked more— _‘Don’t be ridiculous, George has been mine since forever. He cannot like you more!’_ —. Hercules chose to stay out of that argument and started a conversation with Alexander on the subject of economics that the guys playing with the dog purposefully ignored.

“I intend to take ‘Introduction to Macroeconomics’ next semester,” explained Alexander. “There’s this Facebook page that gives advices on enrollments and from what I’ve read, it’ll be a good time to take it…”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door—they had moved downstairs for the desert, and were seated in a table near the glass doors of the entrance, which perhaps hadn’t been a good idea. Alexander grabbed the keys and went to the doors to find three beautiful girls wearing hats and coats, that the second he opened asked: “You guys are open?”

Alexander gazed at Hercules who had approached them as well, and seemed conflicted, so he said: “Sure.”

Hercules grabbed him by the arm and angrily whispered in his ear: “What are you doing?”

“Relax,” he replied in the same whisper “I know how to cook. I can help you.”

The pretty girl that had spoken shared a look with her friends and hugged her sides. “Are you sure? We get it if you aren’t. I mean, there are a lot of other places—”

“We’re open,” said Lafayette, smiling brightly. “Please, do come in. Did you meet the owner, mister Hercules Mulligan? He’s an amazing cook. Really, feel free to order anything on the menu, and I’ll be your waiter tonight.”

The pretty girl seemed shocked out of her mind. “Uh,” she cleared her throat. “Okay, thanks. I’m Angelica and these are my sisters,” she licked her lips and rubbed her forehead, before taking off her hat. “You really aren’t open, are you?”

Hercules sighed. “No, but I really can do something for you. It’s late, and it’s Thanksgiving. It won’t be a problem. We already ate.”

“Thank you,” she looked back at her sisters and they all nodded with shy smiles, and went to sit in the table next to theirs. “Usually our mom makes a big dinner but she and our dad had a party to attend that apparently they couldn’t skip.”

“Yes,” one of her sisters nodded with a rueful grin, “apparently they thought that their daughters who are already in college would be perfectly capable of cooking for themselves, unsupervised.”

“I can only imagine mother’s face when she sees the mess you made,” added the third, sighing and shaking her head.

“Peggy, that’s not fair. You could’ve helped.”

“I am not in college. I recall perfectly that she said since you two are in college, you should know how to cook a decent dinner.”

“I still live there,” said Angelica, “I don’t understand what made her think that. The only thing I can cook properly is spaghetti.”

“Wait a moment,” said Lafayette. “You go to Princeton, don’t you? I think I’ve seen you around.”

Angelica nodded. “I do, yeah.”

“Alright, so you’re Angelica that goes to Princeton,” said Alexander, pointing at her, “you’re Peggy, who’s still in high school, and…” he reached the third girl and stared at her helplessly.

“I’m Eliza,” the girl introduced herself with a shy smile. “I go to Julliard.”

“Oh, a fellow artist!” John grinned. “Hey, Alex here can play the piano, right?”

Alexander blushed. “Well, I _can_ , but that doesn’t mean I’m any good.”

“Well practice is everything,” said Eliza. “It doesn’t matter how talented you might be, if you don’t dedicate it enough time you’ll always consider you could be better. Fingers need to be trained, you know?”

“Yeah,” Alexander nodded, smiling with content, “you’re right. Just like with cooking,” he added, grinning at Angelica. “The first time I made a stew I had to get rid of the whole thing because it was disgusting, but now I think I’m really good at it.”

Not far from there, Aaron and Maria were having a nice time as well, in Thomas’s apartment. They had eaten and cleaned, and were watching _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ on Netflix in the flat TV on the living room. Aaron, sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, had taken out his tiny block and had started sketching pumpkins and shadows the moment the narrator had started talking, and Maria used the armrest as a pillow while her attention alternated from the screen to Aaron’s block.

Around the middle of ‘Jack’s Obsession’, Maria said: “They really love each other, don’t they?”

Aaron frowned. “Jack and Sally?”

Maria rolled her eyes, but didn’t elaborate.

Aaron sighed and put his block aside. He threw his head back, resting it on Maria’s knee. “Yeah, they do. But I think there’s more to it than what we’ve heard.”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember James said they used to think they would get married? Why did that change?”

She hummed. “I don’t know. Do you think Thomas will get mad at us for eating pizza on Thanksgiving?”

Aaron chuckled. “We can always lie.”

“You’re the good liar, my friend. You know I’m terrible at it.”

“You’re right,” he turned to face her fully. “We should practice.”

“What, right now?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Tell me two truths and one lie, come on.”

“I’m terrible at that game,” she groaned, but straightened and crossed her legs in the lotto position. “Okay, so, my favorite color is red, I don’t like chocolate, and I don’t understand why people think penguins are so cute.”

Aaron stared at her in horror. “You don’t like chocolate?”

She giggled. “See? I’m terrible at it.”

“The first one was a little obvious,” he admitted. “Alright, my turn…”

“How is this going to help me become a better liar?”

“Watch me,” he winked, and took a deep breath. “I hate mineral water,” which Maria _knew_ was a lie, “I think Beyoncé sings off tune,” there was no evidence of that one being a lie beyond the fact that Aaron had ears, “and I think my roommate is hot.”

Maria stared helplessly. “What the hell? I can’t… I’m sure… you said at least two lies!”

“They were all lies,” he lied with a smile and a shrug.

“I think you could be lying to confuse me, but you’re good, I can’t really tell. Say something absurd!”

“I am a pink baby elephant in disguise; an evil snake casted a spell on me to teach me a lesson in humbleness.”

Maria cackled. “Teach me how to do that!”

They spent the rest of the night trying to make Maria lie convincingly, but she had a long way to go still, and back at the restaurant, Alexander was needed in the kitchen, under Hercules’s skeptic eyes. He was pleasantly surprised when it turned out that Alexander knew, in fact, how to make a decent meal. More than decent, really.

“Dude, if you ever need some extra money, you can work here,” said Hercules around a mouthful of mashed potatoes. He’d gotten a plate for him and Gilbert after he tried Peggy’s.

Alexander chuckled. “I’ll probably remind you that in the near future, man. I never had so many people to get Christmas presents before; I’ll be broke by New Year.”

“No, dude!” wailed Laurens. “You need to have enough for drinks!”

Lafayette slapped his arm playfully. “Shut up, dude. If he gets me a nice present I’ll pay for all his drinks in New Year. Don’t worry about it, Alex.”

“I’ll remind you that, too.” Alexander wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was already planning all the gifts he would buy, and saving money for them. He knew what oleos he would get Laurens, and was deciding between two books for Lafayette. Getting a present for Hercules was proving to be slightly more difficult, but at least he had a toy for George already. The one he couldn’t stop thinking about was Aaron’s. It was especially hard because everything he had looked expensive and pretty, and Alexander couldn’t spend as much as he would have to for the things he had seen—a scarf that was Aaron’s favorite shade of purple or an expensive set of pencils that were the same brand Aaron always used.

Lafayette subtly pinched him under the table and he almost yelled, startled. He had spaced out, and noticed Eliza looking at him and biting her bottom lip to keep in her laughter.

“We have a rally coming anyway,” was saying Laurens, and Alexander couldn’t for the life of him fill in the blanks in the conversation he had missed.

“Oh, the one from the ‘ _What you want is valid movement_ ’? You’re going?”

At least he knew the answer to that, so he said: “Sure! You too?”

“Angelica is the one that started the club in here,” said Eliza.

“For real?” Laurens squealed, and George who had been resting by his leg went to sit in Lafayette’s lap. “Man, you’re my idol! Though you guys could use some better stuff on your banners,” he chuckled. “They’re kind of shitty.”

Angelica huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t have a problem with constructive criticism, but ‘shitty’ isn’t exactly helping.”

Laurens hummed. “Well…” he started inspecting his phone and then handed it to her, showing her his Instagram page, “you see those lines? I paint in big format, which means those are probably as large and even taller than most of your banners, and you don’t see wavy lines nor white spots in between, like you ran out of paint through the middle of it, you know? These stuff are supposed to be art too, you know, they need to make people stare at them, and not only think about the message, but remember it, and that’s what pretty colors do, that’s why you use colors and shapes to draw their attention.”

“This looks good,” admitted Angelica, studying every picture intently. “You should help us with our banners from now on.”

“I would love to.”

So that was why Laurens had Angelica’s number, but the reason for everybody else getting the Schuyler’s numbers was no more complex than the fact that they really got along… and they wanted to eat Alexander’s cooking again. He was flattered, honestly.

Still, he wasn’t expecting to receive a message from Eliza early the next morning, asking him for advice when shopping groceries. He quickly decided to simply join her, instead of trying to help through the phone.

“I’m sorry to get you out here in a holiday,” she apologized after greeting him, “but I’d like to start buying vegetables on my own, maybe even surprise my mom with a salad from time to time,” she chuckled. “And it’s hard. I never thought it could be so hard.”

Alexander nodded. “People usually underestimate how easy it is to buy bad vegetables. They can be delicious when prepared correctly, but they also need to be in good shape, except on some occasions. Now, for salads? They need to be in optimal conditions; otherwise, not even a ton of lemons could improve the taste.”

“That sounds like something coming from personal experience.”

“I plead the fifth,” he grinned, and helped her pick three full bags of every fresh vegetable they found. It was fun in a way no one ever expects grocery shopping to be, and Alexander even forgot how cold he was. “Here’s a crazy idea,” he said as they were about to say goodbye, “we should get tested.”

Eliza’s eyes widened almost comically. She licked her lips. “We barely know each other.”

“Would you like to wait? What’s the difference? You’re going back to New York in two days.”

She looked around the lonely street and released a shaky breath. “I only did it once, back in high school,” she chuckled. “I’m terrified.”

“Why? Don’t be,” he squeezed her hands. “Don’t be. We barely know each other, like you said,” he licked his lips and giggled. “If the result is negative, our lives don’t change at all, but if it’s positive…”

She nodded. “Okay, okay… when?”

“Right now.”

“Right now?” she covered her mouth with a hand and giggled. “Okay.”

It was a Friday at noon. Finding a laboratory didn’t take them longer than ten minutes, and since it was cold and a holiday, it was empty, but open. Those things were always open. The test in itself didn’t take long, and Alexander had done it so many times he knew all the paperwork by heart. Eliza stared at him only mildly concerned, which was a good sign. Forty minutes later, they were handed a white envelope and good wishes, and they went to the park to read it. Alexander’s intention had been to look for a bench, but couldn’t wait that long and simply stopped walking the moment they were away from the children’s area.

The test resulted, unsurprisingly, like all the other times Alexander had done it before: negative. Eliza, the cute girl that was basically a stranger, wasn’t his soulmate and that shouldn’t have made him so sad, but it did. Eliza sighed heavily after reading it, and squeezed his hand comfortingly.

“Well, that was disappointing, but a little relieving as well, isn’t it?”

Alexander stared at her with arched eyebrows.

She chuckled. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you’re a great guy,” she licked her lips and her expression sobered, “but if that had come out positive, wouldn’t you have felt pressured into pursuing a relationship with me? I mean, wouldn’t it be stressful? What if we didn’t like each other after all?”

“But Eliza, soulmates are—”

“They’re supposed to like each other, I know,” she sighed and looked away, hugging her sides. “I’m just not sure I buy it. I’ll believe it if I ever test it with someone I already love, and it comes out positive, I guess.”

“Then why did you agree to this?”

She stared into his eyes and blushed. “Well you can be very convincing, Alexander,” she casted her eyes away and bit the inside of her cheek. “One can have an idea and then wonder ‘what if’ from time to time, you know?” she smiled shyly. “When there comes a worthy exception.”

He blushed, and seemed to be, for once, speechless.

“Do you always get tested before the first date, Alexander?”

Alexander gulped and scratched the back of his head. “Well, usually I do it _during_ the first date.”

“Oh,” she blinked. “Does that mean this counts as a first date?”

“Uh…”

“Do you want to know what I usually do on first dates, if I had fun?”

“Sure.”

Usually, Alexander wasn’t embarrassed to admit he’d never had his first kiss. Whenever he’d been interested in someone, he’d made sure to test if they were his soulmate, and since every time it had come out negative, he never reached that part. He lost interest, the risk of getting attached to someone that wasn’t meant for him was too big and scary, and he decided it wasn’t worth it. However, when Eliza pressed her lips to his and he had no idea what to do, he was a little angry at himself, and a little embarrassed too, but he pressed back like he thought he was supposed to.

They had a proper date then. They went strolling through the park, had lunch together and then strolled some more, eating ice cream in New Jersey at the end of November. It was fun. Eliza was nice and clever, and really pretty, but she wasn’t his soulmate. Alexander wished he could ignore that, throw away the knowledge like he’d thrown away the paper, but he couldn’t ignore the voice inside his head saying God had thought of someone else for him. What if he ignored them because he was too comfortable having a good time with Eliza? Good, sweet Eliza, he knew he could grow to love her if he tried, that it wouldn’t be hard, but…

“Alexander?” she gave him a dejected smile. “Are you okay? You spaced out.”

He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I was just…”

She sighed. “I get it.”

“No,” he shook his head, “no you don’t.” She frowned, and he inhaled sharply, looking around until he spotted a bench nearby. He went to sit and waited patiently for her to join him.

“I know” he frowned and licked his lips, “I know love is real, and everybody needs it in their lives, not only from their soulmates but from family and friends as well.”

“Alexander—”

“Everybody needs it, because the world is a cruel place, Eliza.” He looked away and took a couple of deep breaths. “I… currently, I don’t have a place of my own, I don’t belong anywhere. But I want to, I want to go far, I know I can do it. God… God hasn’t been very kind to me, since he took my mother, but I think,” he licked his lips, “I think that finding my soulmate could  help, that with my soulmate by my side, I could face it a little better, you know? A little taller, a little…” he ran a hand through his hair, “safer.”

Eliza squeezed his hand in hers and inhaled shakily. “What am I supposed to say to that? I hope you find them one day, Alexander. God knows you deserve it.”

“I wish it could have been you, Eliza.”

She shook her head with teary eyes. “Please don’t say that. You’re going to make me cry,” she chuckled and rubbed her eyes. “You’re a great guy, Alexander Hamilton. Don’t forget to invite me to your wedding.”

“Will do. But hey, let me know when you’re in town. I’d like us to be friends.”

She dropped a short kiss on his cheek. “Will do.”


	4. Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize to those who don't love HSM as much as I do...

Ever since an assignment for English class in sixth grade, Alexander considered essays were simply the best form of evaluation there existed. Not only because words came easily to him, but because it really was a method that allowed the student to think, stress-free, about the subject they were supposed to write about, and through their own original analysis, learn more than any teacher could ever teach. It gave them time, space, and the only one setting the rules within a certain amount of time was the student. There almost were no wrong answers when it came to writing an essay, the formalities were minimal, and given those conditions, very little topics could be boring. There was always _something_ worth writing about within a specific topic.

The problem with Alexander was that, sometimes, there were _too many_ things to write about. So far, in school that hadn’t been a problem. Sure, his teachers complained, but since he had the same English teacher for years—and that was the one class in which he got to write essays with a page limit over four—they had reached an agreement in which Alexander could write as much as he wanted to while he didn’t write anybody else’s—he’d only done it once, but his teacher noticed as soon as he read the first line and was very disappointed in Alexander.

In college, the page limit was considerably higher, which also meant Alexander quickly found himself writing well over the double of that limit, even when the subject were things as abstract and vague as the concept of ‘hope’ and ‘aspirations’.

 “You see, it sounds so simple,” he commented as he tied his hair in a messy bun. “In theory, it is. But then why do I keep filling pages in this notebook and it doesn’t feel like it’s over?”

Aaron, sitting in his own bed with his legs crossed with a bunch of pens, a notebook and a book of Physics, sighed. “You’re always going to have something else to say, Alexander, because you’re you. And that assignment, that paper is supposed to reflect that, so of course it can’t be over.”

Alexander stared at Aaron, but the boy wasn’t even looking at him, he was drawing. He sighed and closed his laptop and the notebook he’d been transcribing from, putting them away, and went to stare at Aaron’s block.

“Is that supposed to be our window?”

Aaron shrugged, without taking his eyes away from the sketch. “I guess.”

“You make it look so much prettier.”

“That’s bad, considering I’m going with realism.”

“Oh?”

“It’s a joke.”

“I noticed. But really, you’re good.”

“It’s just a window.”

“Yes, with a tree outside. And I don’t know how, but it feels like summer. Is it supposed to be in summer? I swear I can notice the sun hitting the glass.”

“It’s supposed to be at night.”

“Funny.”

“Alright, I’ll admit I didn’t particularly think of the season for this piece, Alexander. I told you I do these things when I’m bored. I got tired of studying, happened to look out the window, and decided to draw what I saw. That’s all.”

“You know that only makes it more amazing, right?”

Aaron rolled his eyes. He didn’t think he was particularly good. It was just a relaxing activity to keep him busy when he wanted to stop thinking. Since he was always observing things, some were forever graven in his memory. Drawing his sister’s face or the flowers in the garden just outside his window growing up came naturally to him whenever he got bored. That didn’t mean he had any talent, much less any interest in pursuing a career out of it.

“Do you always go around throwing compliments like that?”

“No.”

Aaron stopped shadowing the branch he’d been focusing on and turned to stare at his roommate incredulously.

Alexander shrugged, and went back to his own bed to keep writing. He knew Aaron didn’t have more classes for the day but he was four minutes short of being late for his next class, and needed to finish at least the paragraph he’d been working on. As soon as he did that, he grabbed his backpack and waved Aaron goodbye. “Oh, I’m meeting with John here to go to his place later. Would you mind if he waits for me here? He’s super punctual and the class I have now usually ends up late.”

“Sure, don’t worry.”

Laurens had only stayed at Alexander’s room one night back in early October, and he didn’t think he’d seen Aaron Burr many times ever since, but Alexander mentioned him enough every day that he felt like he knew the guy. However, they hadn’t really interacted much, if anything at all, alone. So when John went to his room to meet Alexander, who was running late, he didn’t really know what to do with himself. Still, Aaron let him in, and told him he could wait there though he wouldn’t be leaving, since he was studying.

Laurens thanked him awkwardly and started to look around the room. It was pretty obvious which desk belonged to who, but Alexander’s was a little intimidating—as if merely breathing near it would cause half the pile of papers to fall down and make even more of a mess—so he stayed away from it. Then, an open drawing block on top of Aaron’s desk caught his attention. “You draw?”

“When I’m bored, yeah.”

Laurens glared at him for a second, but then turned his attention back to the block and started turning the pages. “These are good,” he commented with a slight frown. “You have technic, and practice.”

“I get bored a lot.”

“Really?”

“Why are you angry at me?”

“I’m an art student. I just don’t like it when people act like it’s no big deal, like it isn’t an ability that needs to be polished as much as anything else, that it isn’t _hard_. Also, these things deserve to see the light. It’s selfish to lock them away.”

“Selfish?” Aaron huffed. “I don’t see why I should feel _obliged_ to show my drawings.”

“I don’t like pencils that much, myself. They’re too… rigid, you know? Unlike brushes, but this?” he shook his head, “I don’t think I’d be able to do something like this.”

“Why are you telling me this? Thank you, Laurens, but really, I—”

John rolled his eyes and waved a hand in dismiss. “Whatever, I get it.” He closed the block and cleared his throat, looking around the room.

“Alexander should be back soon,” said Aaron without tearing his eyes away from the screen of his laptop.

“You want me to wait for him outside?”

Burr turned to him with a panicky look in his eyes and shook his head. “No! No, I,” he licked his lips, “I’m sorry. That wasn’t what I meant.”

Laurens ran a hand through his hair. “I know. Sorry. This is weird, I know,” he cleared his throat and sat on Alexander’s bed. “Let’s talk. Being here in silence is too awkward.”

“I guess it is,” admitted Aaron, though he looked considerably more uncomfortable now. He’d been apparently relaxed while ignoring John. “Alexander told me you started making all the banners for the ‘ _What you want is valid_ ’ club. That’s pretty cool.”

John nodded. “You support it? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a rally.”

“Rallies aren’t really my style, I find them a little… intimidating. But yes, I fully support it. Or at least, I think they’re right.”

“Really?”

“You seem surprised.”

“Honestly I didn’t think I’d meet so many people _against_ it, you know? But now that I have, I’m a little shocked whenever I find people who aren’t.”

“I guess to those that are waiting to find their soulmate it can be a little scary to think that their soulmate could not want to meet them.” He closed his laptop and scooted his legs so they would hang from the edge of the bed. “People love to get in other people’s business, but when they feel like their own interests are threatened… I’m amazed the school is allowing the club to exist, honestly.”

“Yeah, but those that already found their soulmates have no reason to be bothered by us.”

“Of course not,” Aaron rolled his eyes and rested his elbows on the bed to support himself as he leaned back, “but they love to get in other people’s business. Those that are happy want everybody else to be happy, stupidly thinking that _that_ is the way to do it, and those that are unhappy…”

“They want everybody else to be unhappy,” John sighed, but smiled amicably.

Alexander, arriving only then, seemed surprised to find them talking so enthusiastically, which spoke levels on how their previous encounters had gone.

“Oh, you’re finally here!”

“Yeah. Sorry it took me so long.”

“It’s fine,” Laurens stood up and stretched his arms over his head. “Hey, we’re meeting with some friends in my apartment. You should come.”

Aaron shook his head. “Thanks, but I have a lot to study.”

Alexander tried to cover his disappointment behind the shock of Laurens inviting him in the first place, and waved a hand in goodbye. He was actually quite excited about going out that night, because for the first time in the semester, it wouldn’t be just the four of them.

Every time Alexander had gotten tested before, it had been a disappointment, and whoever he’d been with became just another person that wasn’t meant for him. They never had been friends before, so logically, once the results came negative, they disappeared from Alexander’s life.

He was so glad that didn’t happen with Eliza. Eliza was a sweet, clever girl, and he was happy to be her friend. He was also happy she had enough money to go home every single weekend, and her sisters Angelica and Peggy were really great company as well.

They all met in Hercules’s apartment. John and Alexander were the last ones to arrive.

“You guys are invited,” said Eliza as they joined everybody else in the living room.

“Huh?”

“Our parents throw a Christmas party every year,” explained Angelica as Alexander sat down next to her, and she passed her legs over him, her feet ending on Lafayette’s lap, “and it’s boring and horrible and full of old rich people because they don’t bring their kids—”

“Or they’re allowed to say no, unlike us,” mumbled Peggy.

“Or that,” nodded Eliza.

“Anyway,” sighed Angelica, “since Eliza hasn’t been around much since she started studying in New York, we’ll be allowed—”

“For the first time in forever,” said Peggy while Eliza nodded by her side and Angelica rolled her eyes with a tiny smile.

“We can invite people,” finished Eliza, giggling. “And we’re inviting you guys.”

Lafayette was still deciding what to do. His parents considered that three weeks was enough time for him to visit, and he agreed, but he’d been excited about bringing Hercules with him and when the guy said he couldn’t join him, most of his enthusiasm disappeared. Still, he missed his family.

“I’m not sure I’ll make it,” said he apologetically.

Hercules frowned. “You know you won’t. The party is the 24th, and you’re leaving the 15th, right?”

“Leaving?”

“Yeah, he’s going home for the recess. In _France_.”

“Oh,” Peggy bit her bottom lip and Angelica stared at Lafayette curiously.

He sighed. “Yes, I am.”

Hercules nodded. They had argued twice already earlier that week about it, after Lafayette had tried saying that if Hercules wasn’t going then he didn’t feel like going either. Most of the time, Hercules could forget that Gilbert was really _just_ a kid, regardless of their age difference, because Hercules had stopped being a child a very long time ago, and didn’t exactly act like a twenty one-year old most of the time either, which only made the gap between them larger, but Gilbert was mature enough that it hardly was a problem. Gilbert went grocery shopping with him and they talked about Hercules’s employees and the Department of Health and their dog and Hercules simply avoided thinking of how Gilbert had been in high school not long ago. High school for Hercules felt like forever ago, and that made him feel irrationally old.

Laurens, bless his soul, seemed to notice the tense atmosphere between them, and as soon as the Schuyler sisters and Alexander left a few hours later, he said goodnight and locked himself in his bedroom.

Right away, Gilbert turned to Hercules with a slight frown and asked: “Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m mad because you’re making me feel guilty, you’re trying to trick me into going with you, but I can’t, Gil.”

“I am not doing that!” Lafayette ran a hand through his hair and turned to look out the window. “I’m sorry.”

Hercules sighed and caught him in a tight, comforting embrace. “No, I am sorry. I’m going to miss you too but you haven’t seen your family since September. You should be happy about going.”

“I know.”

“Let’s do something…” he licked his lips and pressed their foreheads together, “if your parents aren’t absolutely horrified with the prospect of us dating, I promise to go with you for summer break _if_ I’ve saved enough money for the plane tickets.”

“I could lend you the money.”

“No,” Hercules shook his head resolutely. “Absolutely not. If I’m not financially capable of going, then I am not going. Okay?”

Gilbert pouted but nodded, resigned. “Can I stay here tonight?”

“You know you can,” he cupped his face and caressed his cheek with his thumb. “And I would very much want you to stay here every night until you have to leave.”

Before Gilbert, Hercules hadn’t liked kissing that much. He’d had two girlfriends and one boyfriend before, and none of them ever felt the way Gilbert did. Gilbert’s lips were soft but his tongue knew what to do, and his hands never stayed still. Hercules loved his hands that, large and smooth with the one exception of his writer’s bump, always travelled down his back as if massaging him expertly, and knew well when to press hard, when to caress and when to grab. The one drawback of having Laurens for a roommate was that they couldn’t just make out in the living room like they used to, but Hercules didn’t feel like stopping. Maybe it was silly; Gilbert was only leaving for three weeks, and they should get used to that, to him visiting his family from time to time, alone, but it was scary. And it meant that Hercules wouldn’t be able to taste those lips, to feel those hands on him, for three full weeks and he just couldn’t have enough of them, he couldn’t have enough of Gilbert. He felt as desperate as a drowning man. He brusquely took off the tie in Gilbert’s hair and tangled his hands on it, bringing his face closer, and when he moaned, Hercules echoed him.

“Maybe we should move to the bedroom, _chéri_ ,” mumbled Gilbert, without putting enough distance between their lips so it felt like Hercules could eat the words.

He couldn’t answer with his mouth full.

“Hercules, sweetheart, come on,” giggled Gilbert while his fingers played with the hem of Hercules shirt. “I’d like to take this off but I won’t do it where John might see us.”

Hercules bit Gilbert’s lip and then took a step back, running a hand through his hair. “Okay,” he licked his lips, smirked and hugged Gilbert close. “Let’s go,” he whispered as his hands slid down slowly. Once they were behind the French’s thighs, he pulled up. Gilbert yelped but giggled delighted, his arms quickly closing around Hercules’s neck.

They made their way to the bedroom and locked themselves there without minding the time. On a Friday night, they could be careless. Nobody ate early on Saturdays.

John perhaps would’ve argued, but he was a grateful tenant and considered his landlord could do whatever he wanted if that meant he would make all of Lafayette’s favorite plates the next day, which involved John’s personal favorite: crepes. He made sure to leave a huge note on the fridge telling them to save some for him because he was an early bird and left around eight to his studio. He had to finish some stuff for school, but he also needed to finish one huge banner for the WYWV club.

Aaron was surprised to receive a text from Laurens at noon that said: ‘ _Hey, I need ideas for pretty “W”s because apparently mine are fugly_.’

Aaron snorted and typed: ‘ _They can’t be that bad_.’

Laurens sent a picture of what he’d done. ‘ _Fugly_ ’ was probably the most accurate description he could think of. ‘ _Okay. Give me a minute._ ’ He sketched quickly three different letters and sent a picture.

‘ _Those look nice and all but anything is possible in a tiny paper. Bring your ass here and help me make a giant one, with paint._ ’

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘ _If that’s what it takes for you to admit that your handwriting is ugly… where are you?_ ’

Laurens sent him his location, and in less than fifteen minutes, Aaron was there. Sure, he had to study, but this couldn’t take long, right? And he would need to take a lunch break eventually. He might as well take it then.

Later, he had to admit that painting a giant “W” wasn’t the same as sketching it on paper, but there was no excuse for John’s to be as ugly as it had been, and eventually, Aaron managed to make a quite eye-catching, aesthetic “WYWV” on a banner that wouldn’t fit stretched in the length of his bedroom.

“Alright, I think this looks good.”

Aaron hummed and stood up, stretching his arms over his head. “Yeah, it’s definitely better than the last draft.”

Laurens snorted. “Thank you. Hey, let me buy you some lunch.”

“It’s not necessary.”

“I know it’s not,” he smirked, “but I want to.”

John couldn’t tell if Aaron was capable of seeing through his smile what his real intentions were, but he agreed and that was all that mattered. The Burr followed him without even asking where they were going.

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten here.”

“Really? I’m friends with the owner,” he nodded at a smiling guy that quickly approached them. “Hey Laf.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes. “This is where you live, then.”

“Alexander told you?”

“He did,” Aaron nodded. He then turned to Lafayette with a cordial smile and waved a hand. “Hello, you must be Gilbert?”

Lafayette laughed cheerfully. “I don’t know why, but I never knew quite what to make of you from what Alexander said, but this makes sense.”

Aaron seemed a little uncomfortable with that, so Lafayette hurried to clarify: “It’s a compliment, I swear. Please, have a seat. Alexander said you liked chicken burgers?”

“I do, yeah.” Aaron couldn’t remember when he had told Alexander that, but Alexander had an impressive memory, so it wasn’t really that surprising. Watching Gilbert and Laurens interact was like bringing to life many of the stories Alexander had told him. Aaron considered it a memorable lunch, but as soon as he had finished his burger, he realized he had lost over four hours and really needed to study, so he apologized, paid even when they insisted he shouldn’t, and left.

Hercules had already closed, so as soon as Aaron disappeared out the door, he locked it and the three of them went upstairs.

“So that’s Alexander’s roommate, huh?” muttered Hercules thoughtfully, as he squatted to pet George.

Laurens sniggered. “You get it now?”

Lafayette hummed.

“What I don’t understand is how come you noticed Alex’s crush but you couldn’t tell Gil and I were dating.”

Laurens rolled his eyes. “That’s different. Two people interacting one way can mean a lot of things, but one person’s infatuation? That’s easy to see. I mean, you can’t tell me someone mentioning a person as many times as Alexander mentions him is normal.”

Lafayette chuckled. “He’s a tiny bit obsessed, I think.”

“The other day we met on the supermarket and while we were in the yoghurt section he distractedly picked up some stuff he hates because he saw Aaron eat it _once_ like two weeks ago,” said Hercules, crossing his arms over his chest and arching one eyebrow. “He even told me what color the spoon that came with the yoghurt was.”

“What?”

“Yeah, apparently he never thought a grown man using a green spoon could be so cute.”

Lafayette gulped. “Dear God.”

Hercules nodded.

“It’s adorable,” commented John, grinning.

“It could be very bad if Aaron doesn’t feel the same way,” pointed Lafayette, hugging his sides. “They’re roommates.”

John shrugged. “You met Burr. He’s too polite to say something. If he doesn’t feel the same way, nothing will happen as long as Alexander doesn’t openly ask him out.”

“But Alexander doesn’t _date_ people. He _tests_ them.”

“Do we know Burr’s opinion on soulmates?”

“I know he supports the WYWV movement, but I couldn’t tell if he’s like, moderate or what,” he licked his lips and scratched the back of his head. “That might be a good thing. He could convince Alexander that he could be happy with someone that’s not his soulmate.”

Gilbert grimaced. “I find that unlikely.”

Anyone who knew Alexander would find that unlikely. Anybody who talked with the guy for over ten minutes would find that unlikely. Never mind Aaron, who didn’t think of himself as a particularly convincing guy in the first place.

The entire way back to his dorm, Aaron was thinking of which chapters he’d need to read and what exercise guides he still had to do, calculating how long it should take him and at what time he’d be going to bed if he followed the schedule he was designing accordingly. He knew that on Saturdays it could take him longer to concentrate, knowing that he could sleep late on Sunday, and Alexander was usually around, which could be very distracting. By that, he meant that a studying Alexander could be distracting, because he would usually discuss at some point whatever he was doing and simply because Aaron had started drawing _him_ whenever he got bored, but an Alexander that wasn’t just there, but was in fact moving around the room, was something on a total different level of distractions. Aaron simply gave up on studying for the day and, repressing his laughter, asked: “Alexander?”

“Hey, sorry for the mess,” Alexander seemed about to panic. “I’m freaking out.”

“It’s alright,” Aaron licked his lips and closed the door behind him. “Why are you freaking out?”

“I was invited to a party. But it’s not the kind of party one goes to have fun, it’s the shitty kind, the one where everybody judges you. And the people judging you are rich old people.”

Aaron stopped on the three steps it took him to reach his bed. “What?”

“I was invited to Senator Schuyler’s Christmas party,” he sighed and threw himself on his bed, on top of his entire wardrobe.

“Schuyler?”

“You know the guy?”

Aaron shrugged. “I know Angelica.”

Alexander’s eyes widened. “Then you should come!”

“What?”

“Yes, and you should bring your friend Maria too!”

“Alexander—”

“Please, Angelica and her sisters invited us, but they only invited the guys and me, their parents are going to think everyone in Princeton is a jerk,” he chuckled. “You’ll make a better impression.”

“I’ll think about it if you put your clothes back in your closet.”

“I should rent a suit.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “I’ll lend you one. We’re the same size.”

Alexander squealed and jumped to Aaron’s side. “You’d do that? Thank you!”

“Well of course. If you’ll be introducing yourself to politicians you’ll have to look accordingly, since I’m sure you’ll have no trouble making conversation, Mr. Pol sci.”

Alexander looked away with a dejected smile, blushing slightly. “I don’t dance, though,” he commented shrugging one shoulder.

“Don’t be ridiculous, anyone can dance, given some practice.”

“I’ve never practiced. To practice would mean embarrassing myself in front of someone capable, and I don’t want that.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “You can’t be that bad.”

“I assure you, I’m hopeless.”

“Get up.”

“What, you’ll teach me?”

“Why not?” he tilted his head to the side, and placed his hands on his hips. “You shouldn’t mind about embarrassing yourself in front of me, and I’ve been told I’m a good dancer. And unless you’ve invited anyone, we shouldn’t be interrupted.”

Alexander gulped, but stood up. “Okay. What do I do?”

“Take my hand.”

“I’m sure there was a song in _High School Musical_ that started just like that.”

Aaron arched one eyebrow, and Alexander could’ve sworn he was repressing a smile.

“Now take a breath.”

Alexander threw his head back and cackled. “You’re shitting me.”

“The tenth year anniversary coincided with my senior year in high school. Sue me.”

Alexander shook his head. “I get it, I think I might have watched it fifty times last year. And I may or may not have been a little bit more emotional about they graduating than about myself.”

Aaron snorted. “Yeah. It was a big deal that they wouldn’t be all together again. The separation between me and my classmates wasn’t exactly tragic.”

Alexander nodded, and Aaron decided it was time to start the lesson.

Alexander wasn’t exactly graceless, and he could follow the steps easily when given instructions, but the moment Aaron introduced music, it became a mess. Alexander stomped on his feet four times, almost slapped him in the face, and managed to drop both of them on the bed in the first six minutes. Aaron tried to be mad, but he was too amused for that, even when Alexander’s knee nailed his thigh and if he had been just a tad taller he would’ve hit his head with the wall.

Alexander stood up quickly and ran a hand through his hair, clearly embarrassed. His eyes wouldn’t meet Aaron’s. That was always a pity. “I told you I was terrible.”

“No, you’re not… completely terrible,” he grimaced. “You can do it when there’s no music.”

“This is ridiculous. I have a good ear! I can play instruments and sing! Why is dancing so difficult?”

“Because you’re thinking too much.”

“Great, then I’ll just turn off my brain. Oh wait, I kind of need it to move my feet, don’t I?”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “I mean it. You’re too concerned trying to do the steps you know that you can’t synchronize them with the music.”

“I… well, that actually makes sense, yes, it’s what I’m doing.”

Aaron bit his bottom lip. “Come here. We’ll try something different now.”

“But wait, don’t put the music yet!”

Aaron shook his head. “We’ll work with the music _first_. You’ll get used to it, to move accordingly, and _then_ we’ll try to give it some structure. Honestly, the steps aren’t that important. You’re not going on Broadway, you’re going to a party.”

“Yes, a party with rich old people.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Lucky for you, that’s an audience I’m familiar with. Come on, don’t you trust me?”

Alexander gulped, but went dutifully.

They were almost the same height, and usually that wasn’t a problem at all, when they weren’t in a distance that offered to put their mouths into something other than conversation.

Aaron had the sudden urge to steal a hair from Alexander, but he didn’t. He had made a promise, if not to Bellamy, to himself, and he wouldn’t test anyone without telling a friend first. If he was too embarrassed to do it, then it wasn’t worth it, and he couldn’t even think of a way to explain to James or Maria why he would be doing it. ‘ _I think I might like him so I just want to make sure we’re not soulmates to ease my mind and kiss him senseless_ ’? Yes, no, he wouldn’t say such a thing. He had only finished his finals the day before, he technically had gone through the first semester without getting tested once. He just had to be strong, and avoid Alexander at the party so he wouldn’t get lost in his eyes in public. It couldn’t be that hard.

“Hey, I’m not doing horribly!”

Aaron chuckled. “No, you are not. You’re in fact doing quite well.”

Alexander’s eyes, just like the rest of him, always displayed exactly what he was feeling and thinking and Aaron had a tendency of getting mesmerized by them. They were right there in front of him, all happiness and excitement and Alexander’s hands were on him and their legs were right there and all Aaron could do was to smile back timidly.

“I guess we could say that…” he grinned mischievously, “with every step together we just keep on getting better!”

Aaron stopped moving. “Get out.”

Alexander cackled. “Come on, you started it.”

Aaron shook his head but couldn’t help to laugh cheerfully as well. “Just for that, I think I’ll force you to learn the choreography for ‘Bop to the Top’, and perform it in front of your friends.”

“Why aren’t you more ambitious, and try to make me do ‘I don’t dance’?”

“Because I honestly am not sure you could pull that off.”

“Alright, that’s a good point,” Alexander admitted, trying to ignore the elephant stampede in his stomach. ‘ _Can I have this dance?_ ’ was probably the most romantic scene in the HSM franchise, and it had been one of his favorites too. His knees felt like jelly. “I suddenly feel like having a _High School Musical_ marathon.”

Aaron grinned. “That sounds like the perfect Saturday to me.”

It was a great Saturday, all in all. Since none of them was particularly big, they fitted just right in Aaron’s tiny—but considerably neater than Alexander’s—bed, and sang along to all the songs and giggled to most lines. They discussed their favorite characters and commented which things were accurate and which weren’t, how East High resembled their own schools and how it didn’t, and agreed that Kelsie was one of the most relatable characters through all three movies. They ordered pizza during the dinner scene in HSM 2, and discovered none of them had played any sports in school and wasn’t interested in changing that. They also discovered they both considered ‘ _Lemonade_ _Mouth’_ a great but underrated movie and ended up watching it too, though they refused to watch ‘ _Camp_ _Rock’_ and ‘ _The_ _Cheetah_ _Girls’_.

“The second ones disturbed me _a lot_ ,” said Alexander. “Especially because I kind of liked Belinda when I was a kid.”

They both agreed Alexander was not ready to try to learn the choreography for ‘ _Dance with me_ ’, and much less for ‘ _Dance me if you can_ ’. If Aaron hadn’t already had plans for Sunday, Alexander would’ve cancelled his just so he could keep talking to Aaron about all the movies they wouldn’t watch. He wouldn’t tell his friends that though. There was no need, since he was meeting with them as usual, which was probably for the better. He didn’t want to think what Hercules would’ve done to him if he bailed out on him without a word in advance, since he was pretty much guaranteed help on busy days—such as Sundays and Fridays—now. Sometimes he regretted having showed him he could cook, though he probably shouldn’t complain, since Hercules was still paying him, and he shortly realized Alexander complained less when he was the one making fun of him now, a fact which Lafayette had totally decided to take advantage of.

At least now that he was leaving early on Sundays he got to talk to Aaron while he was still on bed. He never thought Aaron looked tense before, but when he was just waking up he looked far more relaxed and seemed to answer more open and honestly. Talking with Aaron when he was like that, all smiles and tiny arms and lazy limbs, made Alexander almost irrationally happy, because he knew he was the only one on campus that got to see him like that.

“Hey,” he greeted everybody and went directly to drop his backpack in his locker in the hall that leaded to the pantry and the staff’s bathroom.

“Well someone looks happy,” commented Hercules once he came back to the kitchen. “You got anything to tell?”

“Not really,” he gave them a sheepish grin. “But I think I’ll be able to dance in the Schuyler’s party, so that’s a good thing.”

Laurens, sitting in one counter next to Lafayette, arched his eyebrows and turned to stare at him. “I thought you were physically incapable of dancing?”

Alexander shrugged. “I got a lesson.”

“ _A_ , as in singular, and it was enough?”

Alexander blushed. “You think I should get another one?”

“Dude, I don’t know, I’ve never seen you dance before. Show us?”

“No!”

“Still embarrassed? Where did you take that lesson?”

Alexander looked away and scratched the back of his head. “It wasn’t, I mean, I didn’t go—”

“I bet his roommate taught him,” said Lafayette, smirking knowingly.

“Oh?” Laurens chuckled. Alexander’s blush and silence was enough of a confirmation. “That must have been fun. However did it happen?”

“It just did,” he shrugged. “I mean, I commented I didn’t dance and he decided he could teach me, that’s all.”

“Out of the goodness of his heart? How nice.”

“Aaron is always nice,” said Alexander defensively.

Hercules chuckled. “Even if that’s true, it really is very nice of him to teach you how to dance. And you think you’re ready for the party?”

Alexander shrugged. “There are still like two weeks left.”

Two weeks for the party, but only five days for Gilbert to leave, and that thought hung heavy on Hercules’s chest. Most people couldn’t wait for the winter recess to come, but they simply avoided mentioning it. They didn’t talk about it, and each hug turned tighter and each kiss lasted longer than the last. It was all they could do, but they were okay. They knew they were going to be okay. That was probably why Alexander and Laurens simply rolled their eyes at their dramatism. When Alexander told Aaron about it, they both chuckled, and discussed for a while whether their attitude was something cute or merely absurd and ridiculous. They concluded some things could be all of the above, and that one did. Still, they agreed their farewell scene probably would be able to compete against any cheesy movie ever produced, and they didn’t envy the people in the airport.

Some people simply weren’t good at saying goodbye, even when it was for a short period of time. James was usually like that, but Thomas’s mannerisms usually distracted him, even cheered him up.

“Well, I won’t wish you a merry Christmas in advance because I’ve heard it’s bad luck,” he said after he hugged Aaron and Maria.

Maria frowned. “Isn’t that with birthdays?”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Both are ridiculous.” He patted Aaron in the back. “Merry Christmas, and happy new year,” he smirked.

Aaron chuckled. “Merry Christmas, Thomas; I’d give you your presents now, but I don’t trust you not to open them early, so you’ll have to wait until you’re back.”

Thomas gasped and pressed a hand against his own chest dramatically. “How dare you suggest such a thing?”

“You’re right,” said James, arching one eyebrow and crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re absolutely right, never trust Thomas with a present unsupervised. He has zero impulse control when it comes to that.”

“You betray me?”

“I’m being honest to our friends.” He winked at them. “Enjoy your break, guys.”

“Thanks. You too.”

Maria gave Aaron a tentative look and he repressed a chuckle.

“Do you think they’ll finally start dating?” she whispered as the car pulled away.

“I hope they do,” he muttered, but there wasn’t any confidence in his voice.

“Okay,” she clapped her hands. “Now you need to help me pick a dress for that fancy party you’re dragging me to.”

Aaron chuckled. “Alright.”

“Do you honestly want me to go? If you abandon me I’ll hate you forever.”

“Maria, I need you there. Honestly I don’t even know why I’m going. Alexander will be there with his friends. I barely know Angelica.”

“Are you sure we _can_ go?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I asked her already, and now she’s expecting us.”

“Just take me shopping, Burr.”

He did, and had quite a good time, which surprised him. He never particularly liked buying clothes, and he was glad his aunt had strongly suggested him to bring at least two suits with him.

Alexander had grown up watching Johann in elegant suits that he never wore well. He didn’t have a good posture, his arms were too thin and his middle was too big and he always got food on them. Alexander hated him for it, but maybe that was just another excuse to do it. He collected those like other kids collected stamps.

But Aaron, oh, Aaron truly knew how to wear a suit, and he looked marvelous. Alexander could hardly believe he was wearing something that Aaron had previously worn, and hoped no one would ever try to compare them like in a ‘ _Who wore it better?_ ’ article. Alexander didn’t need the evidence to know the answer.

He inspected himself in the mirror and as he adjusted the lapels of the jacket, he noticed his roommate watching him with a weird expression. He cleared his throat and smiled nervously. “How do I look?” he asked, but didn’t turn around.

Aaron blinked, expression blank for a moment, but then he smiled sweetly and nodded. “You look good. You look really good. I never thought a green tie would look so good in a silver suit. You have a good eye.”

“Yeah, well, green is my favorite color,” he shrugged. “It goes well with everything, except sometimes red because it can be too Christmassy.”

Aaron chuckled, and wished there was something he could try to fix in the guy just so he could put his hands on him, but he was perfect. As if he wore suits every day, he looked perfect. Alexander in a suit simply took Aaron’s breath away.

They got together with Maria, Laurens and Hercules and took an Uber to the Schuyler’s place, and as he promised, Aaron didn’t move away from Maria’s side, and in turn, Alexander didn’t move from his. The five of them made their way to the bar in an attempt to see if they could find any of the sisters, but didn’t have such luck, and in minutes the strangers that merely had eyed them at first, approached them. It was, to say the least, intimidating, but Alexander seemed to be ready for whatever they brought him. For a moment, Aaron feared he was too close to the impact zone, but soon enough he breathed when two judges, three professors and one CEO got engrossed in an argument with Alexander who quickly dominated the conversation. Slowly, he moved away from the multitude, but as he was about to comment something to Maria, he realized the girl was gone.

She had left him.

Honestly, her initial plan was to stay glued to Aaron all night long, but then somewhat that meant staying right in the middle of a very weird, very bored discussion about the minimum wage and the pressing need of clearer legislation on heritance law. She hadn’t even known that a person’s soulmate was the main heir no matter their association, and that bit of information was a little too shocking and it made her feel a little too uncomfortable to stay there. Looking around the immense ballroom, she found the glass doors that lead to a terrace, and quickly made her way there without telling anyone. Outside she could finally breathe, though her heart skipped a beat when she realized she wasn’t alone in there.

She cleared her throat awkwardly and tried to smile. “Hello, can I hide here too?”

The nice stranger nodded. “Sure. I’m not really hiding, I just…” she bit her bottom lip and fell silent.

“It’s just very loud in there, isn’t it? I used to think Aaron exaggerated when he talked about Alexander because he’s very quiet but now I see he wasn’t,” she chuckled.

The girl narrowed her eyes and tapped her chin with her index finger. “Aaron, you mean Alexander’s roommate?”

“Yeah, he’s my best friend and the only person I know in here,” she giggled and hugged her sides, feeling silly. “I’m Maria,” she extended a hand, and the other girl quickly shook it. Her grip wasn’t very firm, and her palms were soft.

“Eliza.”

“What a pretty name,” she smiled. ‘ _A pretty name for a pretty girl_ ’, she blushed at her own thoughts, and cleared her throat. “Uh, so do you go to Princeton too?”

“No,” Eliza shook her head, “I go to Julliard. But I live here.”

Maria frowned. “You study in New York but you—” her eyes widened and she gasped. “You live here, you mean this is your house, you’re Angelica’s sister!”

Eliza covered her mouth with the back of her hand as she chuckled softly. “Yes, that’s what I meant.”

Maria looked away, feeling stupid.

“Hey, no, I’m sorry,” Eliza held Maria’s chin delicately in between her index finger and thumb, encouraging her to meet her eyes. “I wasn’t laughing at you, I mean,” she bit her bottom lip. “I kind of was. But I did it because I think you’re cute. I’m sorry.”

Maria could feel her face burning, but couldn’t look away from Eliza’s beautiful dark eyes.

Inside, Aaron was sitting by the bar nursing his first bottle of beer. He didn’t really like beer, but it was what everyone else—in his group of friends—was having, and he wanted to feel like one of them, instead of another guest that looked taken out of his Aunt’s parties.

He was distractedly listening to Alexander at the other side of the bar tell some dramatic story to his captive audience when Angelica sat down next to him. She didn’t utter a word, and took a long sip of her glass of champagne.

Aaron sighed. “Why do I feel like you’re judging me?”

She nodded towards the balcony, where he could make out Maria’s silhouette. “You brought her, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

She hummed.

“Why?”

She clicked her tongue, glared at him, and downed the rest of her glass. “Have you met my sister, Eliza?”

“I know she’s a friend of Alexander, but I haven’t met her.”

“Almost no one has seen her tonight, you see… she’s been busy, too busy, being delighted by your friend.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” she nodded and chuckled. “She falls so easily, I’m worried,” she bit her bottom lip. “But I trust in your judgment. If she’s your friend, she can’t be too mean, right?”

“I don’t know about my judgment, but Maria is the sweetest girl I’ve ever met, and she could never hurt anyone.”

Angelica hummed, but seemed content with his answer. “Come on,” she grabbed his hand, “dance with me?”

Aaron smiled and followed her to the center of the ballroom. Angelica was, unsurprisingly, a great dancer, but Aaron wasn’t intimidated by that. He was graceful as well, and they made interesting conversation as they moved around absentmindedly.

“Laurens told me you helped him with the banners the other day.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “I barely helped him make a better “W”. I didn’t know you were involved in the club as well?”

Angelica glared at him. “I’m literally the founder of the club. How come nobody knows that?” she sighed. “You should start coming to the meetings, even if you don’t go to the rallies.”

“When do you meet?”

“On Wednesdays at seven, every other week.”

Aaron hummed. “Then I think I might go around some time.”

She smiled radiantly, but she then seemed distracted, her eyes slid to the side just as someone tapped on Aaron’s shoulder.

“May I have the next one?”

Angelica hummed. “You already interrupted us. He’s all yours,” she smirked and went back to the bar.

Before Aaron knew what was happening, Alexander had one hand delicately holding his and another in the low of his back, and they were twirling.

“Did I really teach you that well or was it all an act?”

Alexander chuckled. “No, you really taught me well. You’d make a great teacher.”

“I believe it depends on the student,” replied Aaron, shaking his head. “You missed on a great opportunity to make a HSM reference.”

Alexander shrugged and tilted his head to the right. “What if Angelica asked? I’m not that brave.”

They could’ve danced all night like that, the pleasant conversation turned somewhat intimate with how low they were talking, but a girl interrupted them eventually, and Aaron almost complained. He would’ve been ashamed of his own reaction if it hadn’t been for Alexander’s own fury, made obvious by his pronounced frown, red cheeks and words of rage stuck on his throat; he reminded Aaron of an angry hamster, like the one he would doodle from time to time when he was younger.

“I know you said you weren’t good,” said the girl, who clearly knew Alexander, “but I don’t really believe that. Come on, let’s play something.”

“Eliza…”

“You play the piano?”

Aaron seemed pleasantly surprised, and Alexander stuttered. “I…”

“I’d like to listen. You already told me you could sing when you were complaining about your dancing skills.”

Eliza gave them a curious look, but none of them noticed. They were too busy staring at each other.

“If I could, I’d force you to perform ‘ _What I’ve been looking for_ ’ with me.”

“If Eliza knows it, you’ll play Sharpay.”

Eliza knew it, but she decided she would save that information for later. Right then, all she could think about was to play and maybe sing for the beautiful girl that was waiting for her next to the piano at the other side of the ballroom.

“Come on,” she grabbed Alexander’s arm and dragged him with her. “You can keep flirting later. It’s my turn now.”

Alexander giggled nervously. “What? No. That’s my roommate, Aaron.”

Eliza snorted, but didn’t make any comments on how that wasn’t exactly helping his case. Half of the texts she received from Alexander on weekdays were somehow related to his roommate. “I need you to help me. See that girl?”

“Maria?”

She nodded. “Isn’t she the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?”

“Well…”

“Shut up.” She blushed, but her smile didn’t waver. “She’s gorgeous. I’d like to sing something to her but I don’t know what. Help me?”

Alexander hummed. “Well that depends on what you want to tell her but, how about some Taylor Swift? That’s always nice.”

“Oh, yes. Do you know ‘ _Enchanted_ ’, or ‘ _Everything has changed_ ’?”

“I do, and those are perfect. See? You don’t even need me.”

“I kind of do, because I only know the lyrics to those; I can’t play them. Please tell me you know them.”

Alexander did, luckily, and as he studied Maria’s reaction while Eliza sang to her, he was sincerely happy he told Aaron to bring her, and decided he’d earned the title of honorary cupid. The hearty looks they send each other were so obvious and adorable that he didn’t even notice the rest of the guests staring at them, though he probably would’ve assumed they were simply captivated my Eliza’s beautiful voice. To his friends though, the way Aaron was staring at him didn’t go unnoticed.

When Hercules got home after the party, it was already over three in the morning, so he called Lafayette as soon as he changed his clothes. The package hidden inside his closet had been haunting him for nine full days, but he could finally open it, and he could only hope Gilbert would in turn like the present Hercules got for him. They had come up with the idea of opening the presents together through Skype barely three days before Gilbert left, but luckily Hercules already had gotten his present. He knew Gilbert well, but so far he’d only ever gotten him chocolates and dog-related stuff. This year was different, and so, he tried something bolder. He got nervous for the minute it took him to open it, but the moment he realized what it was, Hercules knew he had made the right choice.

“ _Oh baby, I love it!_ ” Lafayette stood up and tried the coat on over his pajamas, which should’ve made him look like a vagabond, but he did, in fact, look great. Hercules whistled.

“You look marvelous, hon.”

Gilbert chuckled and blew him a kiss. “ _Come on, open mine._ ”

Hercules did, and immediately started laughing. “Damn it, baby.” He opened the box to check the essence of the perfume, but he was sure he would love it, if Gilbert did.

“ _You always complain about smelling like burgers even when you’re not working, so_ ,” he shrugged. “ _Do you like it?_ ”

“I love it,” said Hercules, and he wasn’t exaggerating. The fragrance was riveting, and the most important part, the one he questioned before buying any hygiene product—whether Gilbert would like it or not—was already covered. They wouldn’t be able to hug each other for another two weeks, but they smiled and spoke their words of gratitude, and that had to be enough.

So far, the winter recess was resulting more than tolerable for everyone. In Virginia, Thomas had been hoping James wouldn’t be as distant as he’d been during Thanksgiving, and in a way, he wasn’t. Different than usual, but not distant, and that would have to be enough.

Thomas’s favorite part of Christmas was watching James’s face as he opened his presents, and more specifically, _his_ present, because ever since they’d had some economic liberty, no one had ever been able to give James a better present than he did. He could admit that sometimes he had needed help, but never took any suggestions. No, he always knew exactly what to give him, he sometimes just needed help getting them, like that year, but he already had paid that debt.

Their presents were so good that they had developed a tradition in which they would usually give each other two gifts, one considerably better than the other, but that one they would give each other in private. That way, their relatives would stop complaining about how unfair it was and how difficult it was to get them anything.

That year, the present James opened in front of his family was a beautiful sweater of the softest wool in his favorite shade of blue, and really, when it came to clothes, it was the best gift he got after all. He didn’t say it out loud, but his mother still glared. She had gotten him a nice jacket, but there were zippers on the pockets and that simply was annoying. Later, as it was their tradition, they met in Thomas’s room to make the exchange of their _real_ presents.

Thomas thanked him for the stuff James had gotten for his hair and complained for eleven full minutes about the stuff Bet got him that were just _so_ wrong because it was for thinner hair and if she was using that stuff herself then she was really doing more harm than good. “I swear she should only let the people in the saloon handle her hair, because she is a mess.”

James chuckled. “You are too fussy. I think her hair looks great.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Just give me my present, Jimmy.”

James did, and then Thomas handed him his in turn. He bit his bottom lip as his soulmate opened his first, and worried for a minute when the man stared blankly at it once he saw it. He took a deep breath, and was about to ask Thomas if he hadn’t liked it when the man started laughing.

“Is something wrong?”

Thomas shook his head. “Just open yours, Jimmy.”

James did, with trembling hands, but then his mind stopped working when he saw it.

“Oh,” he swallowed as Thomas tried to control his laughter. “So that’s why Aaron asked me if I was sure about it.”

“Yeah, I think he tried to tell me too, the son of a bitch. Now I understand why he said he wanted to know every detail about our reactions.”

“Well, at least they weren’t the same picture.”

Thomas snorted. “Yeah, I’d like to know what Aaron would’ve said if we would’ve asked him to draw the same picture.”

He probably wouldn’t have known what to do, but the pictures were fairly different. The one James had given Thomas was one where they were skiing—well, more like Thomas was carrying James while Jane watched from the distance with a big beam. Thomas’s expression was one hardly anyone but James saw, and he loved it because his smile never looked brighter, and his eyes wrinkled just right. That had been the first time James agreed to join him in that part of the mountain and Thomas had been ecstatic. They stayed outside for hours and Thomas still would remember it fondly from time to time, say they needed to repeat it. Also, it had been Thomas’s lock screen picture for months. On the other hand, the one Thomas had given James was one where the two of them were sitting in the car, talking. Well, Thomas looked like he was in the middle of an explanation though he actually had been singing, and James was staring at him intently with a fond smile. That picture had been taken during the first Thanksgiving after Thomas started college, and they spent every second of every day together. Thomas had a lot to tell, even though they spoke every night, and James couldn’t get tired of listening. James remembered that entire weekend fondly, and he had in fact complained when Jane had showed him that picture, said she should’ve made a video instead.

James roamed a finger over the paper, and decided no one would be able to top that gift. It shouldn’t have surprised him; that was the way things were with them, but he still was. He still got amazed by how well Thomas knew him, and how he could always make everybody else look bad when he tried just a little.

But James wasn’t the only one with that train of thought.

The scarf Alexander got Aaron was his favorite shade of purple, and he loved it, but he almost loved more the little yelp Alexander gave when he opened his.

“You like it?”

Alexander turned to stare at him in disbelief. “Are you kidding? You know this is my favorite author! And…” he gasped. “How, you, when…?”

Aaron shrugged. “He doesn’t live very far, and Thomas owed me a favor. He drove me there to get it.”

Alexander roamed his index finger over the black sharpie in the first page of his new book. “Thank you.”

Aaron wanted to thank _him_. That reaction had been worth every cent _and_ the road trip with Thomas. “Thank you,” he said, caressing the wool of his new scarf. It looked expensive. “You know this is my favorite color.”

Alexander nodded. “I thought of you the moment I saw it.”

Aaron swore there was an actual whirlwind inside him. He cleared his throat. “Hey, since I imagine you’ll be too busy preparing for your exams, when should I give you your birthday present?”

Alexander blinked. “You got me something for my birthday too?”

“Of course I did. Don’t expect anything as cool as that, though,” he grinned. “Talk about the downsides of being born in January.”

Alexander chuckled. “Is February really better?”

“I think, yeah.”

“The guys are forcing me to celebrate once the exams are over, so you better give it to me then.”

“Very well,” Aaron nodded, and tried to wait for his heartrate to slow down, but he figured that as long as his roommate kept smiling shyly in front of him, he wouldn’t calm down.

Then winter recess was over and the reading period started, and Alexander practically disappeared, but to Aaron that was perfect. He needed to clear his head, stop thinking about his roommate, and to study. During five days, he succeeded.

He stared, surprised, at the border of the page in which he’d been drawing absentmindedly. Aaron hadn’t drawn animals in years, never did many in the first place because he mostly drew what he saw and he never saw many animals, if any at all. His aunt was allergic to _everything_ —his sister and he would joke about how she was even allergic to children. Still, one summer his uncle considered getting each of them a hamster, and he got obsessed with them, drawing them everywhere. At the end he never got one, but he fondly thought of his doodles in his notebooks as ‘little Ham’, and he kept making the little thing for years. Jonathan used to say it was Aaron’s actual best friend, and it became a running joke between them. When they finally broke up, Aaron stopped drawing Ham.

Now, not only he’d done it without thinking, but he’d given him glasses as well. He snorted. ‘Little Ham’ looked good with those, and so did the human that had inspired him, who just then came stumbling into the room with a pile of books, hair tied up messily in a bun, and glasses on. That was weird because he only ever wore glasses at night. He looked as vital as a corpse.

Aaron winced. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” slurred Alexander, dropping the books on the floor under his desk—there was no space on top of it—and throwing himself on the bed, yelping in pain. He took off his glasses and slammed them on his bedside table as he rubbed his face with his free hand.

“Careful there,” mumbled Aaron, scratching the back of his head. “Do you feel ready for your exams?”

Alexander groaned. “Yeah, I do. Bring them on.”

“You really need to stop killing yourself like this. It’s not healthy.”

“Thank you for your concern, but I’m fine. And you? Are you ready?”

Aaron never _felt_ ready. He just didn’t anguish over it. His body took care of keeping him awake at night when it mattered anyway. “I think I am, yes.” He had studied. Now whether that had been enough or not was something only Fate could tell. “And since I did well on my mid-terms, I’m not too worried.”

Alexander hummed, but when Aaron checked, the guy was already asleep, with his shoes on. He sighed and didn’t even think twice before taking them off and the tie in his hair as well. Alexander deserved a good night of rest.

He went back to study, but was too distracted to keep memorizing formulas. He knew most of those by heart anyway. He looked around the bedroom and winced when he noticed Alexander’s desk. The guy had several binders but he didn’t use them, and finding any paper in there always took him several minutes. He bit his bottom lip and told himself that doing anything about it would be intrusive, and his roommate wouldn’t appreciate it. Perhaps if he asked or offered his help it would be okay, but currently Alexander was dead to the world and Aaron should follow his example. It was Saturday and it wasn’t even that late, but he’d been reading for hours and if he tried to watch a movie he knew he would fall asleep in minutes. He closed his books and turned off the lights, but the moment he closed his eyes, his phone vibrated. He considered ignoring it, but if it was what he thought it was…

He groaned, and got comfortable to answer Maria.

She was going on her first date, and the nerves were eating her alive—literally, she was eating her nails and hadn’t done that in a while. But she was going on a date for the first time in her life, so who could blame her? Certainly not Aaron. He advised her to occupy her hands, or if she had time, to paint her nails, but she was terrible at that. She remembered during the Christmas ball Eliza’s nails had been a beautiful light blue. Perhaps, if she kept her nails decent, she could ask her to paint them. Of course that for that everything would have to go perfectly during their date, which made her anxious again. She tried to put on some eyeliner, but after the fifteen minutes it took her to finish the first eye, she decided to clear her mind before trying to do the second.

‘ _Remember that what matters tonight is that you have fun,_ ’ texted her Aaron while she was walking around looking for something to occupy herself. It made her smile, and she decided to try to do the second eye. She had forty minutes left to get to the restaurant where they would meet, and the last thing she wanted was to get there late.

Of course she didn’t know Eliza wasn’t precisely a punctual person, but she wouldn’t discover it yet. No, that night Eliza would be there early, making sure everything was perfect.

Eliza liked romance. She liked flowers and candles and everything that came with them—the cheesy one-liners, shy smiles, heartfelt compliments… she loved all of those, and she wanted to give them all to Maria. Maria, beautiful Maria deserved all of that and more, and Eliza relished preparing it all. She went to the restaurant one week earlier to pick the perfect table and made sure to find out if Maria had a favorite food or flower. It almost made her feel bad about not getting Aaron anything for Christmas, but she hadn’t known him before. The fact that his birthday would come soon was comforting. Then she could thank him properly. But before, before it would be all about Maria.

She got there five minutes early, and Eliza was glad she was already there so she could see Maria’s face as she took everything in.

“This is all very beautiful.”

Eliza grinned. “I asked the owner if they could put these in our table,” she gestured at the flowers. “How lucky it is that the Peruvian lily grows in winter?”

Maria blushed. “You asked Aaron what my favorite flower was, didn’t you?”

Eliza bit her bottom lip. “Was it too much?”

The waiter chose that moment to interrupt them, but Maria still shook her head with a shy smile, and Eliza’s grin told her she got the message loud and clear. After that, conversation went smoothly. It was easy to talk to Eliza, and she had a lot of stories to tell, but she was also a great listener. Maria wasn’t that talkative, not to strangers, but the way Eliza looked at her when she was talking made her want to keep going until his voice ran out. Then the food arrived, and her night couldn’t get more perfect.

After a while, their hands naturally met over the table, and Maria didn’t think her heart had ever beaten faster.

She felt guilty.

She let go of Eliza’s hand and took a deep breath. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Eliza blinked, used a napkin and nodded. “Okay.”

“I… I left my soulmate in October. He was abusive and—”

Eliza reached for her hand again, and squeezed it tenderly. “You don’t need to justify your decision, especially not to others. He wasn’t right for you and that’s all. It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. If you really want to talk about it I’ll listen, but you don’t have to.”

Maria licked her lips and blinked away tears. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? For telling me that I can relax because no strangers or Fate or God will pressure me into being in a relationship with you? No,” she shook her head, “don’t apologize. I should thank you, Maria.”

“What?”

“Soulmates are so stressful!” she chuckled. “People think it’s romantic but really, why should anyone go through a medic test for the vague reassurance that you probably, if you’re lucky, get married and then won’t get divorced? It’s ridiculous.”

Maria surprised even herself as she started laughing. There were still tears in her eyes, but the weight that had been on her shoulders was gone, and her affections for the girl in front of her only grew, warming her inside like the fire of the candles adorning the table.


	5. Spring

Starting the Spring Term felt surreal somehow; the school had been so peaceful during winter recess and then everyone had been too busy studying and then crying over their exams, but now, a week later, everyone was happy. They had different schedules, different classes and different professors but Aaron didn’t feel like a new student anymore. He certainly wasn’t a different person, though sometimes he wished he could be.

His first class on Monday wasn’t at eight in the morning and that was already an upgrade from last semester’s first day, but it was one he’d picked too, one he actually felt enthusiastic about, and that almost made him feel like a rebel, which was ridiculous. He’d spent forty minutes designing what he would tell his uncle if he ever found out that he was taking it. What kind of rebel does that?

Anyway, he still was required to have some classes from the department of humanities, and it was supposed to be an easy curse, so of course he took it.

‘ _Yes, Uncle Timothy. The fact that I’ve always been interested in philosophy was just a plus._ ’

But of course his classmates wanted to discuss soulmates. Why wouldn’t they? Aaron was just glad he’d picked a seat near the back. He’d checked comments on the professor and he wasn’t the kind that made random people talk, but simply let the ones that really wanted to, always encouraging everybody to talk if they had an opinion. That was fine by Aaron, as long as he could keep his opinion to himself. He just wished some people would as well, like the one poor idiot that was defending the WYWV posture. Instead of helping, he was only making everything worse. And he couldn’t believe that everyone else seemed to be against it. He understood then why Laurens had been so surprised back then when he’d said he supported it.

Once the class was over, he sighed and collected his things slowly. He didn’t want to be the last to leave at first, but as he heard the people around him _still_ arguing, he decided it was for the best to avoid every single classmate. Though perhaps, that would’ve been better than the alternative.

“Mr. Burr?” he heard the professor call his name and winced.

“Yes?”

“I noticed you seemed to agree with your classmates from the WYWV club. Is there a particular reason why you didn’t voice your support?”

Aaron gulped. “Well…”

“I just wish to know if it’s because of the opinion, or because of your personality. It’s perfectly okay if it’s the latter, it’s only with the former that I have a problem.”

“Oh,” he immediately felt relieved. “No, no, it’s the latter,” he cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, please. But I would like to hear your opinion. I’m sure you understand why,” the professor grimaced and looked around. They were the only ones left in the room.

Aaron sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t really believe soulmates are a factor to make anybody’s life better, and those who believe it so strongly usually end up suffering from it, be it whether because they never find them, or because they do, and nothing comes out like they hoped it would. I believe it’s irresponsible to assign such power to something as random when we really don’t know what soulmates even _mean_.”

Professor Bentham nodded thoughtfully. “Very eloquent and fair, Mr. Burr. I would’ve loved if the rest of the class had gotten to hear you. But I’m not criticizing you, no,” he shook his head, “I’m just letting you know that it’s a shame, and a loss for the world, each time a wise comment is omitted because of shame or fear of the ignorant response. Now can I ask you one more indiscreet question?”

“Sure.”

“Even if you don’t think soulmates can solve all your problems, would you like finding yours one day?”

Aaron took a deep breath. “No.”

He hummed and nodded. “I understand why you would like to save yourself the trouble,” the professor commented with a friendly smile, “but honestly? It’s almost always worth it.”

“Almost?”

The professor shrugged. “Absolutes always sound like lies, don’t they?  So no, I won’t tell you it _always_ is.”

“Excuse me for asking this, but did you ever meet yours?” Aaron knew the man wasn’t married. There was no ring in his finger and everybody knew him as a confirmed bachelor.

However, he nodded. “I did, many years ago. He was perfect for me, and most days, I still miss him. I don’t think we had enough time, but even if it was so little? It was worth it. And if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing, aside from Death taking him, that is.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“It’s fine.”

Aaron had probably found his favorite educator, ever, and that alone made his day perfect. It was a great first day, really, and not only for him.

Alexander finished his first class on Monday with a huge beam on his face. Professor Washington was everything he had read about and _more_ , and Thursday couldn’t come fast enough with the second class.

Lafayette, who had taken that class with him, seemed just as excited about it, and they spent ten of the fifteen minutes the French had to get to his next class commenting it.

“He’s just so straightforward, but not in a mean way!”

“I know right? And when he explained the…”

“Yes!”

“Guys, guys, calm down, please,” begged Laurens, looking miserable. They had gotten together outside the library and Lafayette had little time to get to his next class, but needed to retrieve some papers he’d left at Hercules’s place. Hence, John had been required to get up, though he was still wearing the shirt he had slept on.

“Are you hungover? Really? It’s literally the first day of class. Couldn’t you have waited for tomorrow?”

Laurens shook his head. “No. You guys don’t get it. There was no other alternative. Yesterday was…” he sighed, “simply awful.”

“Weren’t you getting together with a bunch of exchange students? You were supposed to show them around. And you took them drinking?”

“Oh no, no, no, no,” he waved a hand vigorously. “No. I needed to drink _after_ I dropped the exchange students at their dorm.”

“Why?”

“You know how people always say girls are better at handling being told no than men? Well, not all of them, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, you broke some poor foreign girl’s heart?”

“First of all, she’s British. That’s like, the most boring one, she doesn’t need a guide, she speaks the language!”

“Yeah, but she could get hit by a car, I mean,” said Lafayette with a shrug.

“No. Shut up. She was super annoying and wouldn’t stop touching me, even after I kindly told her I wasn’t interested.”

“I don’t see you being kind.”

“Who cares if I wasn’t? She kept touching me. I’m considering getting off the program.”

“Aren’t there like other guides? Maybe you could switch groups?”

Laurens shrugged. “I don’t know man. I’m thirsty. Grab your stuff so I can go get breakfast.”

“John, it’s already past noon,” pointed Alexander with a laugh.

“ _And_ it’ll be my first meal of the day, thus, breakfast.”

“You got to admit his logic is impeccable,” deadpanned Lafayette as he stored away the papers Laurens had brought him. “Okay, I gotta run. Enjoy your breakfast!”

Alexander shook his head, but accompanied Laurens to get breakfast and got a sandwich for himself. His Mondays were pretty relaxed—started at eleven thirty and then had only one more class at five—and he was happy to have classes again. It was nice to be learning for a change, instead of killing himself studying.

“Dude, are you broke again?”

Alexander blushed. “No. I mean—”

Laurens smirked. “You got Aaron something pretty for his birthday? It’s this week, right?”

“It’s tomorrow.”

“Oh shit. I didn’t get him anything. I’ll just give him food. What chocolates does he like?”

“Anything with caramel or strawberries,” he frowned, “though he never eats anything with strawberries near Maria, for a reason, so maybe just—”

“Caramel,” Laurens nodded. “I get it. I’ll buy them tomorrow. At what time are we getting together?”

“Eight I think, but I’ll text you.”

“Please.”

Alexander wondered how other people could be so chill about getting presents with no time. Sure, John and Aaron weren’t the best of friends, but… well, it was Aaron. Aaron, who had given him the most amazing birthday present after he thought nothing could beat the autographed copy of the last book of his favorite author. And then he went and got him a first edition of the book that had been his favorite when he’d been a kid, and his mother would read to him at night before telling him about his father. He had told Aaron about it only twice, and hadn’t even remembered the name. How Aaron found it, he couldn’t know, but he had loved it, and then agonized for three days on whether to ask Hercules for an advance or not. He was officially a part time worker, but hadn’t been for even a month at the time. Still, he did, because he needed to get Aaron the best present and he needed money for that, and at the end Hercules didn’t even ask. He just told him to go get Aaron something pretty.

Aaron never cared much about his birthday, but his sister did. Until Bellamy, she probably was the only one who cared about it after his grandparents died. So really, it was something he had only celebrated with dead people and an ex who he didn’t talk to anymore. Still, he knew his friends would want to celebrate, and that shouldn’t have made him happy. At first it didn’t, but the more and more the date approached, he started getting excited. He had enjoyed the celebration of Alexander’s birthday—the fact that his present had left the guy speechless was probably the thing he was proudest of, so far in life—and even though they were getting together on a weekday, he still thought it would be fun. The occasion wasn’t as important as the fact that they would all be together, and who didn’t like getting a present or two? Thomas and James still kind of owed him. He had wasted very precious time in making those drawings and hadn’t accepted any money for it.

He had lunch with Thomas, James and Maria, and couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the cake Thomas had baked him.

“You better have a decent fridge in your room because you are taking this thing with you.”

“He had a literal fight with the oven at some point,” explained James, “so he doesn’t want to see the cake again.”

Aaron chuckled. “I’ll take it with me, don’t worry.”

And at night, he went to Hercules’s place to celebrate with Alexander’s friends. The music was a little loud, but the food and the company were great. He wasn’t even expecting any presents and was overwhelmed by the amount of chocolate he got—they were all his favorites, and he suspected Alexander was to blame for that. He liked exchanging presents but being the only one getting them often made him feel uncomfortable. When he got stuff like that, that were only supposed to be about the gesture of remembering the date and nothing more, it was easier to accept them with a smile. By the end of the day, he was relaxed and content, so Alexander’s present—the last one he opened—had even a bigger impact.

He gasped and stared at the huge case of pencils, speechless for a moment. “Alexander I…”

“Hey, you got me two amazing gifts already.”

Aaron bit his bottom lip and caressed the huge case. They were of his favorite brand, and simply… “They’re perfect,” he whispered. “Thank you.” He knew they must have costed a little fortune, but really, all Aaron could’ve wanted was right there, in Alexander’s face. For that smile, he couldn’t feel guilty. Alexander looked as happy as if the one receiving presents had been him, and even though his friends whistling and laughing around them should’ve ruined the moment, it… it didn’t. Aaron was happy. Aaron was really happy about turning nineteen and about having friends and furthermore, Aaron was very happy about sharing a room with Alexander Hamilton.

Then the very next day came the first gathering of the WYWV club of the semester, and Aaron could barely control his nerves. It didn’t even make any sense to be _nervous_ ; he was going to a meeting with a few more students that should be relatively on the same terms as he, so why should he worry? He still did. The mere fact that he was going was enough of a statement. He knew that if his uncle and aunt found out, they would make a scandal; might even get the club suspended.

But he went anyway. They had no way of knowing, really, and he already had told Angelica he would go.

He didn’t say anything. He sat at the back and merely listened. There were some interesting input, some radical ideas and some innovative plans to get more adepts, and Aaron saw Alexander and John at the front loudly expressing their opinion every few minutes. Nobody had said so, but it appeared that they were in charge, though the few times Angelica made observations she made very clear—by her stance and voice alone—that she was the one that had to be convinced. By the time it was over, his back ached and he hadn’t spoken up a single time.

But Angelica smiled, and said it had been nice to see him there, so he didn’t think it was a waste of time. He only lingered for a moment, seeing if Alexander would go in the same direction, but overheard that he would go with John to his study, and made his escape before having to talk to them. He would happily do so on another occasion, once his heart wasn’t beating so fast and every noise wasn’t so _loud_. He needed peace, after an hour of listening to other people arguing about things… things that he thought too, things that he hardly had been able to discuss. It was so weird still, to realize that his every word and move wasn’t being observed. He wasn’t a kid anymore, he wasn’t rebelling or going against any rules. He was simply following his own path and that, that was scary, but freeing, and in the middle of the street that led to his dorm, he burst out laughing. In the middle of his happy giggles, he was thankful there was no one else on the street, because someone laughing loudly by themselves was always weird.

Now, two people walking down the street laughing loudly was a far more common thing to find, and though it could be annoying, nobody did more than roll their eyes at them, so logically, Alexander and John didn’t mind. They were happy too. It had been quite a productive meeting with plenty of new members, and a few had dropped two sketches for John to work on and include to the club’s collection. They were quite tiny though, so John had artistic freedom to add whatever he considered appropriate once he copied them into a bigger format.

“Did you notice Aaron went to the meeting?” said Alexander as they entered John’s study. It was late, so the place was empty and cold, but they were wearing big jackets. “That’s such a huge step for him you know?, because he’s always so concerned about what people might say or think…”

John hummed. “I’m trying to get him to join the commission that makes all the banners and stuff.”

“Aaron?”

“Yeah,” John nodded, and then with a slight frown he added: “You know he draws, right?”

“Yeah,” Alexander grinned radiantly, “he’s talented, isn’t he?” and frowned. “Wait, how did _you_ know?”

“I spotted his block the other day in your room. He’s good,” Laurens admitted, looking serious. “He shouldn’t waste it.”

Alexander shrugged. “It’s a hobby to him.”

“But he has talent, and I’m sure he enjoys it. He wouldn’t be so good if he didn’t.”

“I’m sure he does…” he licked his lips, “but still, is just a hobby. You can do things you enjoy in your free time, just for yourself.”

“Sure, to pass time, I get it,” John rolled his eyes. “You’ve always known what you wanted to do when you grew up, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I didn’t. A lot of people don’t, Alex, and sometimes, some people get to college without a clue of what they want to do for the rest of their lives, and they’re forced to make a decision based on stupid shit like employability and stability and remuneration, which is just stupid, you know? Honestly, I find it hard to believe that some people wake up one day and say: ‘hey, I know! I want to file data in a computer every day for the next thirty years!’ Or, ‘I’ll have meetings at odd hours 24/7 to get cheaper oil for, I don’t know, plastic dolls’.”

Alexander frowned. “I don’t think—”

“Humor me for a minute, Alexander.”

“Alright…”

“What I’m trying to say is, a hobby is just a hobby when you have something else driving your life. Like you, that can enjoy playing the piano in the afternoons because you know that there is something else, something _bigger_ that you need to be doing, but others… there are other that don’t have anything else. They just _know_ that their hobby is not enough.”

“If it’s not enough, then…”

“Except is not enough for all the wrong reasons, Alexander!”

Alexander narrowed his eyes and leaned back on the couch, one finger tapping the armrest. “You think Aaron isn’t pursuing a career in the arts and decided to be miserable for employability and money, that’s it?”

“Yes!”

“And you want to do something about it, because…?”

John huffed. “Wouldn’t _you_ want to do something about it? I thought you cared about this guy.”

Alexander blushed.

“Look, the art department is assembling a pretty impressive gallery and this Friday night it’s going to be the inauguration. Invite him.”

Alexander bit his index finger and looked around the room. In the months he’d known him, Laurens had deduced that was his own way of keeping his mouth shut, which was pretty ironic since though it would turn his speech incomprehensible, it wouldn’t actually keep him quiet. He wasn’t even quiet right then, but the muffled sounds he made held no more information than his mortified expression.

John arched one eyebrow. “Huh?”

He took his finger out of his mouth. “I said,” he swallowed.

‘ _Oh, so he actually had said something,_ ’ thought Laurens, impressed.

“How do I invite him?”

John blinked, surprised and a little charmed. For a freshman, Alexander’s eloquence and courage highlighted him, and most of the time, he was a very confident guy. People tended to be attracted to him, to levitate around him just to hear him talk, and yet… he could be so innocent, so clueless of it all. John was certain that Alexander could invite Aaron to watch the grass grow and the guy would follow him, even if that meant skipping class. He rubbed his forehead. “Hell, I don’t know man. Tell him about it? Mention the event and ask him to go with you? Maybe, casually ask him if he’s going too? I don’t know,” he shrugged. “You know him better than I do. How could you convince him?”

Actually, the question hadn’t even been about _convincing_ the guy, but how to bring it up. Alexander wasn’t a schemer, and he didn’t know how to hide his agenda when instigating actions that would put it in motion. John had convinced him Aaron needed to see that making a career out of what he loved was possible, and now that was all he could think about, but would that be reason enough to drag Aaron anywhere? And John had made it all sound like a date, but he wasn’t asking Aaron out. The last thing he wanted was to give his roommate the wrong impression. If he was taking him to the gallery it wasn’t so they could spend time together—which was always a plus, sure, but not the point—but so Aaron could notice what he could do, if he wanted to.

If he dared. But Aaron wasn’t precisely a bold person. Once he saw it that way, bringing it up wasn’t so much of a problem, because he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Do you like engineering, Aaron?” he asked early on Friday. Aaron had been getting ready for class with plenty of time and was then checking his phone, and Alexander was still on his pajamas, lying in bed.

Aaron couldn’t know if Alexander remembered having asked that same question, months ago, but he remembered his own fake lighthearted answer. They’d come a long way after that. Alexander wasn’t a stranger, and he wasn’t asking out of courtesy.

“Why do you ask?”

Alexander shrugged, but his roommate wasn’t looking at him. He’d kept his eyes glued to the screen. “I was thinking about vocation and all that. Aren’t there other things you’d prefer to do?”

“Are you having second thoughts, Alexander?”

“No.”

“Then?”

“Are you?”

This time, he finally turned to look at him. “Excuse me?”

“Are you sure that engineering is the right path for you?”

“I wasn’t the one bringing this shit up.”

“I know, but Aaron…” he licked his lips and straightened. “The art students organized a gallery and it opens tonight. John says it’s quite the thing. Come with me, please?”

Aaron didn’t know if Alexander knew, but he could be very convincing. He didn’t take a moment to think of what he was agreeing to, he simply did.

Clearly, that had been a mistake.

He liked art, of course he did, but having Alexander studying his every move was distracting and… he wanted to say it was annoying, but it wasn’t. It was mildly nerve-racking, and he hadn’t even known something could be only _mildly_ nerve-racking, but there he was, tense next to a bouncing Alexander, listening to low, pleasant music and trying to admire beautiful art; anxiety crippling at the back of his neck, but contentment and peace in the low of his stomach. The students, the _artists_ were all glowing with pride and why shouldn’t they? They were amazing. They were witnessing the world’s reaction to their creations, and that reaction was mostly a positive one, which was always flattering. If he felt happy whenever someone complimented his doodles, he could only imagine how amazing it would feel to receive praise over something one spent weeks or even months working on.

The gallery wasn’t far from their dorm. As they returned, they walked the first few minutes in an amicable silence which Aaron had no intention of breaking. Alexander, however, had other plans, and alone in the middle of the night, Aaron had nowhere to run.

“Did you like it?”

For a moment, Aaron considered lying. He couldn’t blatantly say he hadn’t, but he didn’t need to say how much he had, especially not after Alexander had been all weird talking about vocation and then studying him so unashamedly all through the night. He didn’t need to, it would surely bring him trouble, and yet… he couldn’t look at Alexander’s eager smile and lie. So instead he said: “You know I did.”

“Yes, but I want to hear you say it.”

“Why?”

Alexander rolled his eyes and gesticulated widely with his hands. “Because…!”

Aaron sighed. “I liked it. I liked it very much,” he licked his lips. “Thank you for convincing me.”

Alexander bumped their shoulders together and smiled, looking away a moment after their eyes met. “You’re welcome.”

That shouldn’t have taken Aaron’s breath away. It shouldn’t have made his heart beat faster. But it did, and Aaron knew he was doomed. He’d known it for a while, but he hadn’t admitted it until then, when he couldn’t ignore it any longer. Aaron knew he was setting himself to getting his heart broken again. He knew Alexander was waiting for his soulmate, they hadn’t talked about it in detail but he knew it. But perhaps if he was clear since the beginning, if he went and told him they weren’t soulmates but they could try to be happy together until Alexander found his… perhaps, it would be worth it. He knew he couldn’t expect the guy to fall in love with him and throw away the idea of eternal happiness that he probably had, but he also knew what little time he could get would be worth it.

Getting a hair from Alexander was almost too easy. Honestly, it would’ve been simple for anyone; the boy had longer hair than some girls, and had the habit of tying it in the middle of lectures, therefor it wasn’t difficult to retrieve a single hair from the chair he’d been in once the class was over, but for Aaron it was even easier. He just had to wait to be alone in their room and he could get one from his hairbrush, or pillow, or floor—seriously, the guy left hair everywhere. It was almost as if he was doing it on purpose.

Still, he couldn’t get it done in his room. Alexander would ask, and that would ensure a heavy conversation on beliefs and expectations and past experiences that he had no interest in having, so he needed to find another place to do it. It wasn’t precisely elaborated, and it didn’t take long either, but he needed a clean, private space. He considered asking Maria—the girl had been tremendously surprised when she’d learnt that there existed a way to test soulmates at home, and wanted to learn just for the hell of it, said they could even make some profit of it if they got the word around to do it for other people—but he knew she would make too many questions, and perhaps would even try to talk him out of it, at least out of the secrecy part. And aside from Maria, well, his list of friends that weren’t directly connected to Alexander was pretty short.

“James, do you know how to make a soulmate test at home?” he asked later that day as he sat with him in the cafeteria.

“Do I—what? No. That’s a thing?”

Aaron sighed. “Yes. It’s not hard,” he bit his bottom lip. “Do you think I could borrow Thomas’s kitchen? It only takes half an hour.”

“Yes, of course. Uh, right now?”

“No,” he shook his head, “but as soon as you guys are okay with it.” That way, he was even telling someone. Sure, he wasn’t saying he was testing himself, but he didn’t really care about that old promise at this point. Really all he wanted was to get over it so he could go and ask his roommate out. That was all. This wasn’t about his paranoia; it was a simple action to be done before going for what he wanted. He thought it was a good exception.

He got everything ready in record time, and went to Thomas’s apartment around lunch break. James was already waiting for him, and luckily, his soulmate wasn’t there. He didn’t need another person making questions right then. But later, after he got confirmation that there was nothing to worry about, he could explain to them calmly what and why he had done it. He could do it. He would do it.

Just, after he went to Alexander.

He had placed everything on the kitchen counter when his phone rang, and he cussed under his breath.

“Is everything okay?”

“No,” he groaned. “I forgot I was supposed to help Laurens with the banners today,” he bit his bottom lip and stared at the ingredients. It wouldn’t take him over forty minutes…

“I can do it,” suggested James. “Just tell me what to do.”

Aaron took a deep breath and considered it while the phone in his hand kept vibrating with incoming messages from the art major. “Okay,” he nodded and kneeled to get a pen and paper from his backpack. “I’ll write it all down, give me a second.”

James hummed, and Aaron was done in a minute. He then ran out the door. The sooner he got there, the sooner he would finish and the sooner he would meet James with the results.

“Laurens?” he frowned slightly. The guy tended to sit on the floor, but Aaron didn’t think he’d ever seen him simply lying there, staring at the ceiling.

“Yeah?” he straightened and stretched his arms over his head. “Sorry, just…” he winced as his phone started ringing. Aaron saw him hung up the phone and wondered how many times he had done it that day.

“The exchange student is bothering you again?”

Laurens sighed. “Alexander told you, huh?”

Aaron nodded.

“Yeah,” Laurens turned off his phone and sighed. “She simply won’t take a ‘no’ for an answer.” He stood up and shook off the dust from his pants. “She wants to get tested. What is wrong with her?”

“She’s… a very sick person. Have you considered talking to some authorities? Maybe a professor, someone with authority in the program could help.”

“No one will do anything because she’s not _dangerous_ , she’s just annoying.”

“She’s more than annoying. She’s being disrespectful and is clearly an unbalanced person. Who knows what she could do next.”

“Yeah but they don’t see it that way dude, so don’t creep me out even more, please.”

Aaron patted his back and smiled apologetically. “Okay, give me a brush.”

They made quite a good job together, and had good rhythm. John had been surprised at first, especially after he put on some of his music which had been greatly criticized and Aaron not only didn’t complain, but complimented it. Aaron liked working in John’s study. He usually did. That day not so much, but that wasn’t John’s fault. He wasn’t worried though, he was eager. But he contained himself each time he thought of calling just to ask how it was going. He should meet with James in the library as soon as he was over, so really, he would only be wasting time making the call. He just hoped James knew what to do. He had tried to be as clear as he could with the instructions, and when he’d read them before leaving he’d considered he’d done a good job.

James still hesitated. He couldn’t get it wrong. At least Aaron’s handwriting was very clear—unlike Thomas’s, that was a mess, which had actually prepared James in life to be ready to read everything. He was the only one at his home capable of reading the doctor’s prescriptions.

The first thing Thomas did as he entered his apartment was to stare at him fidgeting with grains of coffee and baking soda. “Whatever on earth are you doing?”

“I’m trying to make a soulmate test.”

Thomas blinked. “What?”

James sighed. “I am not insane, this is a thing. Aaron gave me all the instructions.”

“But why?”

“Because he can’t do it in his room for a reason, so he asked me to do it. He was going to come and do it himself but something came up and I decided to do it instead of waiting for him.”

Thomas sighed, ran a hand through his hair and went to read the instructions James was talking about. He then inspected what James was doing and shook his head. “Let me help you, you’re using too many grains. And I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

James smiled sheepishly, shrugged, and took a step back. “Thank you.”

“This is quite ridiculous. Oh my god, is that hair? I’m not touching some stranger’s hair.”

“Well, I’m quite positive one lock is Aaron’s.”

“That doesn’t make it any better,” he shook his head and kept working. In a matter of minutes, the mixture was ready, and Thomas gestured for James to throw the hair inside. “And the other? Any idea of who that might be?”

“He didn’t say… but I think it’s his roommate’s.”

Thomas hummed. “That would explain all the secrecy.”

“It would, yes.”

“Have you met the guy?”

James nodded. “He’s in my ‘ _Introduction_ _to_ _Macroeconomics’_ class, but I’ve never talked to him. I feel like I know him, though. He has an opinion for every single thing the professor says.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “I hate that sort of people.”

James nodded. “He makes some very good points though, so you want to be annoyed by him but at the same time you’re kind of impressed, which really only makes it worse,” he smirked at Thomas annoyed face as he thought ‘ _he reminds me of someone else I’m very fond of,_ ’ but didn’t voice any of that. He got startled when smoke started coming out of the glass jar he’d been using. The liquid had turned green.

“Well shit, that’s scary.”

James checked the paper with the instructions. “It means they are.”

“Well shit.”

James nodded.

“How are you going to tell him?”

“I’ll have to pretend I don’t mind. He didn’t tell me who they were.”

“Do you think he’ll tell you?”

James didn’t know. Aaron was a very discreet person and a very good actor, but he’d gotten the impression that he had wanted to tell him, he was just waiting to know the results first. However, he couldn’t know what results his friend was expecting. And he probably would want to go to his roommate, or whoever the other person was, first.

“Do you think he’ll be happy?”

Thomas shrugged. “I don’t really know what the point of getting tested is if you’re not in a relationship already. If this really is him and his roommate, I don’t know if it’s a good thing. I mean, he likes the guy, right?”

James nodded. “I don’t know what his roommate’s stance on soulmates is. Maybe it needs to be positive for him?”

“I don’t know. When are you going to tell him?”

James checked the time on his phone. “Soon. He told me he would call, but I’ll go wait for him at the library.”

Thomas nodded. “Okay. Good luck.”

James knew he would need it. Aaron kept most of his opinions, or at least the reasons behind those opinions, very close to his chest. James knew the man hadn’t been looking for his soulmate, but he liked his roommate. He couldn’t know what the result would mean to him, and the fact that he didn’t know what kind of news he was giving—whether they were good or they were bad—was quite stressful. Normally, one would plan the way of such a message depending on the possible impact it would have, but James felt as if he was playing the Russian roulette here. Still, he went to the library, found a table, and tried to study. Really all he did was reread some of his notes, but he looked busy and wasn’t startled when his friend sat in front of him putting his backpack heavily on the table.

“Hey,” he closed his notebook and smiled at Aaron, who in turn looked nervous, but happy. James swallowed. “Your test is done.”

Aaron’s heart skipped a beat. He absentmindedly grabbed one strap of his backpack. “And?”

James narrowed his eyes. “You really aren’t going to tell me who they are?”

“No,” he shook his head resolutely. He would tell him later, but he needed to know the answer first. He needed to be sure. And he needed to hear it _fast_.

James sighed exaggeratedly. “Well, I guess eventually I’ll know anyway, because it came out positive.”

‘ _What?_ ’ Aaron’s brain didn’t seem to be able to process that information. He swallowed and blinked repeatedly. “What?”

“The owners of the mysterious black locks, they’re soulmates.”

Aaron almost threw up. He wanted to cry and yell and tear his hair out. He nodded instead.

James frowned and tilted his head to the left. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. Honestly it was supposed to be to reassure two people that they weren’t, but…” ‘ _But they are. We are. Alexander and I. We are we are we are and now I can’t go I can’t go to him I can’t kiss him I can’t hold him I can’t tell him…!_ ’

James arched his eyebrows. “But they are… that’s kind of shitty.” He grimaced and scratched the back of his head. Aaron seemed… strange. It worried him. It had been bad news after all. “Uh, I’ll just go to the bathroom real quick okay, wait for me?”

He nodded, and the moment James left, he texted Maria, but her last connection was from two hours earlier, so he correctly assumed she wouldn’t answer any time soon. He didn’t even know what he would tell her if she did. He didn’t think his voice would work. He didn’t think he could get the words out. He buried his face in his backpack and groaned. He wouldn’t cry, he wouldn’t yell, and he most definitely wouldn’t throw up. He would get through it. He wasn’t a kid, and he would get through it. It wasn’t even that bad, it simply meant that…

It only meant that he could never be with Alexander, as long as the guy didn’t change his stance on soulmates, and he didn’t think he would.

When James came back, he did so with tea, and Aaron thanked him. He thought his friend would have questions, but instead he simply opened his notebook again, and went back to reading whatever notes those were, drinking his tea slowly.

So Aaron decided to do the same. He grabbed a physics exercise guide, and started working on it. He liked physics, because they always made sense. Human beings many times didn’t, life many times didn’t, but physics, numbers in physics always made sense, and he was good at it, which was comforting too. Forty minutes later, when he was done, he stored his stuff away and only then James did too. Aaron hadn’t noticed, but as they parted, he realized James had stayed in silence in an uncomfortable chair doing nothing just so Aaron wouldn’t be alone.

He gulped, and remembered there was only a month left for his birthday. He started thinking of presents.

The only other person on earth who was already thinking of James’s birthday was busy thinking about Aaron right then. As James returned, Thomas took one look at his face and grimaced. He went to the kitchen and started the electric kettle.

Back in the living room, he hugged his sides and asked: “How did he react?”

Frowning, James shrugged.

“So, not okay I imagine?”

“No, not at all,” he sat down heavily on the couch and threw his head back, closing his eyes, “but I’m not sure why. He said he was expecting it to be negative, so he was very shocked that it wasn’t. In fact, he said it as if he’d been certain.”

“Well, Aaron can be a little pessimistic, so I guess it makes sense. I mean, if he likes his roommate, he never would’ve expected such result, you know? Maybe he really was just… shocked?”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

Thomas sat down next to him. “What’s troubling you?”

“I don’t think I’ve met anyone this year who’s been happy knowing who they’re soulmate was.”

Thomas mimicked James stance, but quickly opened his eyes again after James’s smile appeared behind his eyelids. “That’s shitty.”

“It is.”

The silence, like only a few times, was deafening. It was always that way when Thomas had something to say he wished he didn’t need to. “Dolley messaged me the other day.”

“She did?”

“Yeah.  Why haven’t you answered her?”

James shrugged.

“You didn’t tell me you were the one that dumped her.”

“I didn’t think it was important.”

Thomas’s blood boiled, but he tried not to show it. Obviously, that was stupid. James knew him almost as well as he knew James.

“Why are you mad?”

He took a deep breath. “I’m not.”

“Thomas…”

“I am not mad, Jimmy.”

“Did you answer her?”

“Dolley? Yeah, of course I did.”

“But you never liked her.”

“So? She wasn’t my girlfriend, she was yours. You never liked Martha and I still dated her.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t like her, but she was…” James rubbed his forehead and sighed. “Dramatic, like you, I guess.”

“She wasn’t dramatic.”

“When you told her we were soulmates she acted like her life was over.”

“She was a little dramatic.”

James pursed his lips. Thomas hated when he did that. It made him want to kiss him.

“What did you tell her?”

Thomas looked away. “Not much. I told her you were busy, stressed with class, that she knew how you were with that. I said I would tell you we talked, but if you don’t want to talk to her I can tell her I forgot, or ignore her, if she contacts me again.”

James shrugged and turned his face, staring at Thomas. “Yes, do that.”

Thomas turned as well. They were merely a couple of inches apart. “Do what?”

“Ignore her.”

Thomas arched his eyebrows. “What did she do to you? I thought she was nice.”

James shrugged. “She was.”

“So?”

James frowned and turned back to stare at the ceiling again. “She became annoying.”

“Annoying how?”

“Why do you care?”

“I just would like to know why I’m supposed to be an asshole to a nice, heartbroken girl.”

“She was too insecure.”

“Ah,” Thomas grimaced and tried to look away, but as usual, he couldn’t. He never could look away from James’s face. “I see. I’ll be an asshole with no trouble, then.”

James snorted and turned again to stare at Thomas, smiling playfully at him. “You’ve never had any trouble being one, Thomas.”

If James had been anyone else, he would’ve kissed him, no matter the consequences. He would’ve kissed that beautiful smile off his face and they wouldn’t have left the couch in hours, but it was James, so he didn’t.

Thankfully, it was Friday. And that night, he went out. He purposefully ignored James’s expression as he went to bed in the guest room— _James’s room_ —dressed in one of the many cotton pajamas he kept in Thomas’s— _their_ —apartment. He was young, he didn’t look it, and he had a fake ID, which was exactly what he needed to get all the terrible thoughts he had out of his head, where they wouldn’t bother anyone. If he had to be honest, he got drunk embarrassingly fast, but that was what he was looking for. That, and some company, of course. He picked the perfect girl for that as he stared at the bar from one side; she had black curly hair, dark long legs and an elegant neck that seemed to begin way too low thanks to her dress’s low back and never seemed to end thanks to her high hairstyle. For a moment, in his foggy mind, he thought he had seen her before, but he couldn’t be sure, and he wouldn’t waste his chance.

So he went and said: “May I buy you a drink?”

The beautiful girl turned to stare him down with a rueful smirk and he suddenly remembered where he’d seen that elegant neck and curly hair before. “I’ve seen you before, haven’t I?” she said.

Thomas hoped he didn’t look as mortified as he felt. “Uh, I think so, yes. I’m Thomas Jefferson? I hadn’t noticed it was you, Miss Schuyler.”

Angelica, the engineer major, well-known badass, arched her eyebrows. “Thomas, yes, I remember you, we’ve taken math together. You can call me Angelica, you know?”

He cleared his throat. “Can I?” he grimaced. “You have quite the reputation. Forgive me for being intimidated. I’m already too drunk for this.”

“I noticed. And why are you so drunk, Mr. Jefferson?” her smile turned a little softer, and she ordered two glasses of water.

He sighed and sat on the stool next to hers. He really was too drunk, and that wasn’t his night. Clearly, Fate was trying to tell him something. “My soulmate is an oblivious cinnamon roll, and I have no idea what to do about it.”

She frowned slightly and thanked the bartender that handed her two glasses. “He doesn’t know he’s your soulmate?”

“Oh, he does, he does,” he nodded and downed half his glass. “We’ve known for twelve years or so. I think. I can’t do math right now. I was eight? Now I’m,” he licked his lips, “how old am I?”

“Man, you’re drunk. Finish your water. Another one, please!”

Thomas sighed and dutifully finished his glass. “It’s all Martha’s fault, you know?”

Angelica hummed and nodded. “And who is Martha?”

“She was my girlfriend in high school. Poor Martha. James says she was dramatic. She said we were cruel. And then James agreed with her. He agreed with her!” he bit his bottom lip and blinked away tears, then took a sip of his second glass of water. “There is no alcohol in this.”

“No, there’s not.”

“I need more alcohol.”

“No, you need to get your shit together. Why did she say you were cruel?”

“We had an agreement,” he sobbed and gestured the bartender for another. Another glass of what, he had no idea, but he irrationally hoped it wouldn’t be water. “We could see other people and then we would get married when we were thirty. It wasn’t very formal, it could happen sooner, but we gave each other like, permission to see others until then. It was ridiculous, but I was thirteen and he was eleven and it made sense, you know?”

She nodded. “Of course, you wanted to have fun,” she thanked the bartender and finished her first glass of water. “But this girl Martha thought you were cruel, and what happened then?”

“James said we should forget all about our deal. We were best friends, and we should stay that way,” he released a shaky sigh and grimaced as he took a sip of another glass. “I need more alcohol.”

“No, you need to go tell your soulmate you don’t want to be his best friend anymore.”

“No, I can’t do that! I can’t lose James, don’t you get it?”

“But Thomas, you don’t have him right now, do you?”

“Yes, I do. Being friends is better than nothing. Hell, being friends is marvelous. I see him every day and he comes to me when he needs help and I can go to him when I need help and it’s, it’s fine, it’s great, it’s—”

“It’s not enough.”

“I believe his smile is the most beautiful thing in this planet, you know? Just to see him smile is, is great.”

“But?”

Thomas licked his lips and shrugged. “But I can’t kiss him,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t kiss him nor hold him and I have to listen to him talking about other people and I can’t show that I’m jealous but he can tell, of course he can tell because he knows me so well and I…” he shook his head, “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep going like this.”

Angelica bit her bottom lip, unsure of what to do next. She’d been out with her sisters but there was no trace of them now, and she didn’t feel like she could leave the guy alone. “Maybe you should go home now. I’ll go with you.”

“No, don’t worry, I don’t live too far.”

Angelica shook her head firmly. “Forget it, I’m not going to let you go alone.”

“You fed me enough water to hydrate a small village. I’m not drunk anymore.”

“Yes, you are, and,” she rubbed the back of her neck, “that’s not the only thing that worries me. Who knows what they could do to you out there, the city is dangerous at this hour of the night.”

Thomas stood up in his six foot three inches and stared down at her with an arched eyebrow.

“Shut up. I’ll pay and we’ll go.”

At the other side of the bar, Eliza watched her leave and rolled her eyes.

“What is it?” asked Maria.

“My sister is leaving with a guy, but I think he was crying in the bar not long ago, so who knows what’s going on,” she shrugged. “Anyway, did he pick up the phone?”

Maria shook her head and bit her bottom lip. “You don’t think something happened to him, right?”

“Maybe he just fell asleep.”

Maria didn’t seem convinced, but her eyes widened when she saw someone not far from there. “Or maybe he doesn’t want to answer me, but I’m sure he’ll answer his roommate, come on.” She dragged her girlfriend by the arm to the corner where Alexander was gesticulating widely as he told Laurens and Lafayette something that was either very funny or they simply were very drunk.  “Hey,” she squeezed his bicep, “do you know if Aaron is in his room? He’s not answering his phone.”

“Well,” he kneaded the place she’d touched, and she rolled her eyes, “he was there sleeping forty minutes ago, so he probably is. Do you want me to tell him anything?”

“Nah, actually…” she pursed her lips. “I’ll go see him, if that’s okay?”

“Sure! I was on my way back anyway, I’ll open the door for you because he doesn’t even wake up when someone knocks. I remember on the first week I stayed locked outside one night and I ended up waking everybody else on the floor but him. It was ridiculous. The guys next door let me sleep on their floor because they were convinced he wasn’t opening the door on purpose. And then, the next morning, Aaron couldn’t believe it had happened,” he chuckled. “Man, he was so embarrassed, it was adorable.”

Eliza shared a look with Maria, but Alexander didn’t notice.

“Well,” Maria cleared her throat, “I’ll go with you then,” she licked her lips and glanced at Eliza’s. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Eliza cupped her face and kissed her. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she winked.

And like always, Maria felt like she was walking on a cloud for a while after that.

The bar wasn’t very far from campus, so they walked there. They made almost half of the path—which would be seven minutes or so—in silence, and Maria didn’t care. It was a comfortable silence, and she didn’t know Alexander very well. She had a very weird picture from the times she’d seen him—a loud, silly and opinionated brat—and the way Aaron and Eliza spoke about him—some witty and charming genius. Still, she shouldn’t have been surprised when the guy broke the silence.

“So you and Eliza are pretty serious now, huh?” Alexander grinned. “I’m glad. She’s great, and Aaron speaks very high of you. Are you planning on getting tested?”

Maria cleared her throat and looked away from Alexander’s bright eyes and amicable smile. “No, I, uh, already found my soulmate… before.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t worry,” she licked her lips. “I don’t care about that. I learnt that you can defy Fate, somehow.”

“Well yes, I guess,  I mean, I agree with you on that one can make its own choices and life is what you do with what you can, but the thing with soulmates is like, the little break that life gives you, you know? Like, everything else is _so hard_ , you have to figure out everything else on your own, but they give you this gift, they tell you ‘here, this person will help you get where you need to go’, you get what I mean?”

Maria stopped walking, and it took Alexander a moment to notice. “My soulmate was a bastard,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away for a moment, but then turning fully to stare at him. “I’m glad I got rid of him, even though it was anything but easy.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, I didn’t know…” Alexander bit his bottom lip.

“No, please, it must be nice to have that kind of optimism.”

“At this point, optimism is all I have to try to be happy, Maria,” the boy confessed with a sad smile that broke her heart.

She stuttered. “I’m sure you’re being overdramatic.”

He merely shrugged, and that was _so_ wrong. The young man was never quiet, he never missed a chance to hear his own voice, but now he looked like… like he didn’t need her to _believe_ him, he still knew it was true, and it was better if she didn’t.

They arrived to his room shortly after that, and inside, Aaron was sleeping peacefully.

“I wish you luck,” said Alexander with a playful grin. “I’ll go wash my teeth.”

Maria nodded and turned to look at Aaron. He seemed to be deeply asleep, but he didn’t look as peaceful as she’d first thought. He was frowning, and breathing heavily. She placed a hand on his shoulder and tried calling his name softly, but the guy didn’t react at all. It took her three more tries and to finally yell as she shook him to wake him up.

“Maria?”

“Hey sweetie, I didn’t know you were such a heavy sleeper.”

He shrugged, smiling nervously. He was disoriented, and almost commented on how he wasn’t always like that, but caught his tongue in time. “Yeah,” he cleared his throat and straightened. “What are you doing here? I don’t think I slept for a full day, and it’s still dark outside.”

“Nah, you only slept for like an hour,” informed Alexander, stepping out of the bathroom with his toothbrush in one hand and his mouth full of foam.

“Oh… is everything alright, then?”

“You tell me. You’re the one that sent me that ominous text earlier today! You scared me.”

Aaron glanced at his roommate who had purposefully left the door of the bathroom ajar and could be seen though he pretended—badly—not to hear. “Yeah,” he cleared his throat again, so Maria handed him the glass of water from his bedside table. “Thanks. I’m alright. I had a little… I guess you could say I had a crisis today,” he smiled dejectedly, “but now I’m okay. James helped me through it. Don’t worry.”

She frowned, unconvinced. “Really? I saw him earlier, after you sent me that message and he didn’t mention anything.”

“He probably didn’t even notice, but I’m okay now, really.”

“And you’re not going to tell me what happened?”

Aaron glanced at the bathroom again, just as Alexander closed the door, staying inside.

Maria arched her eyebrows.

“No. It’s not important. I’m sorry you came all the way here for nothing.”

She hummed and made her way to the bathroom door, and knocked on it. “Good night, Alexander.”

The boy immediately opened the door. “You’re leaving already?”

“Yeah. Good night.”

He waved a hand awkwardly. “Good night.” He turned to Aaron and bit his bottom lip. “Are you alright?”

‘ _No,_ ’ thought Aaron. ‘ _How could I be? You’re standing right there, and I can’t…_ ’

Alexander scratched the back of his head. “Would you like some hot chocolate?”

Aaron loved hot chocolate, and it was cold. He shook his head. “Thanks, but—”

“I’m going to get some for myself, so,” he shrugged and went to grab the electric kettle he kept on his desk and fished Aaron’s mug from his bedside table. “It’s not a problem.”

Aaron bit his bottom lip. “I was intending to go back to sleep.”

“It’s chocolate, not coffee. It’s not going to wake you.”

But Aaron was already awake, and he didn’t think he could go back to sleep. He agreed anyway, though he didn’t think it really mattered, even if Alexander waited to hear his consent before pouring the beverage in his mug. He straightened on the bed, and realized he needed to get used to it, that that was how his life was going to be, because even if he would never ask the guy out, he still wanted to be his friend. He still wanted to talk to him, to laugh with him, and watch bad movies together. And if another situation presented where they could dance, well, Aaron wouldn’t complain either. He laughed at Alexander’s chocolate moustache and stopped thinking about things he never had, for he was honestly grateful of what little he did, that really, wasn’t even that little.

To Thomas, for example, who’d had that much for years, it had been more than enough at some point. Really, people underestimated friendship many times. But knowing that there’s something you cannot have always complicate things, even when, otherwise being ignorant of the fact, there might never have been any interest. Thomas totally blamed their stupid agreement of staying friends to have triggered his feelings for his soulmate. If they would’ve stayed thinking about getting married in the future, he never would’ve minded seeing James with other people, and never would’ve stayed awake at night wondering what his lips would feel like.

He was sure that kissing him would be considerably easier than getting the door to his apartment open.

Angelica rolled her eyes and grabbed the keys out of his hand.

“Hey!” Thomas complained, but she ignored him, and pushed him inside.

“Huh, look at that, you have a nice apartment,” she commented.

Thomas huffed. “Of course I do. And it’s on a second floor and everything, so James wouldn’t have vertigo.”

That drunken comment stopped James’s hand on the doorknob. He had known staying there on a Friday had been a mistake, but Thomas had insisted he should stay, that it was late, and he’d been tired. He hadn’t expected to hear him arriving with a girl in the middle of the night. He wasn’t ready for that. But he hadn’t been ready to hear his name either. So he stayed silent, glued to the door of the room, trying to hear anything else.

“You live here together?”

“No. He’s a freshman, remember? He has to stay on campus.”

“I never had to.”

“Don’t your parents live like three blocks from school? There’s no surprise there.”

James gulped. He didn’t recognize the voice, but Thomas knew where her parents lived? Were things between them so serious? Why hadn’t Thomas mentioned anything about her before? He heard the sound of liquid being poured into a glass.

“And yet, you picked this place thinking of him, didn’t you?”

“Everything I do, I do it thinking of him first, Angelica.”

James’s heart ached. He knew that, and yet… why was Thomas talking like that with a girl? Who was she, how much did she know?

“You really need to talk to him.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to, Thomas.”

Thomas couldn’t tell him something? What, how? Thomas could tell him anything. That was what was so great about them, they could tell each other everything. But why did Thomas think he couldn’t talk to him? And had he forgotten James was there?

“I can’t. You don’t know him, he gets easily overwhelmed when information he’s not expecting gets thrown at his face. I can’t do that to him, Angelica.”

Thomas was right, and James hadn’t been expecting Thomas discussing him with a stranger. He changed into his jeans and boots in record time, and took a deep breath before opening Thomas’s guest room’s— _his_ —door. Outside, Thomas was lying on the couch with an empty glass in his hand, and a beautiful woman was standing by the window. They were all surprised to see him, and James couldn’t believe Thomas had actually forgotten he had stayed there. He stared at them for a moment, unsure of what to do next.

“James,” whispered Thomas, straightening and placing the glass on the center table.

“I was just leaving. You two keep talking.”

“No!” yelled the stranger, and both Thomas and James turned to stare at her with mild horror. “I am going to leave, and you two are going to talk. No arguing!” she raised a hand, and James was unable to utter another word. She nodded to Thomas. “My job here is done, Mr. Jefferson,” she grinned. “Good luck.”

An entire minute went by after she walked out the door in which none of them moved.

“So,” Thomas cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. If he had been drunk at some point, he wasn’t anymore. “That was Angelica Schuyler. She can be quite… brutal.”

James nodded. “She’s a friend of Aaron, I think.”

“Huh… I kind of, talked to her about my problems while she sobered me with water tonight.”

James frowned. “Why did you go to her instead of me?”

“Because James, _you_ are the cause of all my problems.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. “Well, you and Martha.”

James was beyond caring if his voice came out watery or brittle. “What?”

“That thing about us being best friends forever? It’s killing me, James.”

James shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

Thomas stood up slowly. He wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I can’t stand it.”

“Why not?” whispered James, incapable of moving another muscle. His feet kept him glued in his place when really all he wanted was to run away. His knees wouldn’t bend even when he simply wanted to lie down.

“Because,” Thomas made his way to James leisurely as he rearranged the sleeves of his shirt, “I want to kiss you.”

“What?”

“Every second of every day I’m thinking about you and your lips and your hair and your smile and I can’t keep going like this, keeping it from you, because you mean so much to me and I…” he sighed. “I’m sorry.” As he tried to take a step back, James stopped him by grabbing one of his wrists.

“No.”

“What?”

“You have no right, you’re not sorry, you can’t be sorry for wanting to kiss me because that would mean you regret it and I won’t ever kiss you if you do, Thomas.”

“What are you—?”

“Please, just stop talking,” asked James, putting a hand over Thomas’s lips.

Thomas blinked, and stared at his soulmate without a clue of what would happen next, which was unusual. Still, the moment James took a deep breath, he knew exactly what to expect, but didn’t close his eyes. The view of a nervous James leaning in was just too precious to miss.

Thomas had fantasized about kissing James countless times, and he was quite proud of the fact that he’d been pretty accurate in his beliefs. He’d imagined things would start slow, and they did; that their lips would meet and get familiar with each other for a minute or two before inviting any tongues in, and his perfect teeth would have a lingering taste of mint—Thomas didn’t think James ever went outside without a toothbrush in his backpack. He’d known the exact size of James’s hands, and he’d guessed they would tangle in his hair as he pulled his face closer, which also happened. He also had correctly predicted the exact tone of his voice as he moaned after Thomas’s started kissing his neck, and even though he loved being right, he didn’t think he’d ever been so thankful for it.

However, he was not prepared to have James stopping his hands as they found their way underneath his shirt.

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m fine.”

James bit his earlobe. “No. You’re drunk.”

Thomas whined. “I’m not!”

James smiled tenderly and dropped a kiss on his hands, which he was still holding. “I think you need to get some sleep.”

“James!”

“Yes, and when you wake up, completely sober in the morning, I promise I will make you scream my name.”

Thomas swallowed. “You’re evil.”

James smirked. “Good night, Thomas.”

“Wait. You’re not even going to sleep with me?”

James scratched the top of his head and ran his eyes over him, up and down. “No.”

“James…!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Thomas.” He blew him a kiss and winked, and then locked himself in his bedroom.

Thomas swore under his breath and fought with his clothes as he tried to get ready for bed with some difficulty. He wasn’t drunk, but he wasn’t entirely sober either, and even though he _knew_ that didn’t change his feelings or intentions in any way, and he was immensely frustrated and a little bit angry… he was also, in a way, charmed. He was certain about eighty percent of the sexual encounters he’d had in college had occurred while he was drunk, and no one had ever bothered to consider that a problem, himself included. He should’ve known James would never allow their first time to be like that, and he was glad they’d stopped. He programmed an alarm in his phone, and went to sleep purposefully keeping his hands on top of the covers.

When the alarm went off seven hours later, he considered ignoring it for five minutes but decided against it. He had a lot to do before James woke up, and not as much time as he would’ve liked.

When James woke up, almost two hours later, he was almost scared of opening his door to discover it had all been a dream, and then couldn’t believe his eyes when he finally did.

Thomas grinned when he saw him, looking completely flawless in his black pants and violet polo, hair still dropping wet from his shower. “Hey, how’d you sleep?”

James gulped, and noticed the fresh apple pie on the table. He shook his head and crossed the distance between them in three long steps, cupping Thomas’s face in his hands and letting his tongue do the job his vocal chords couldn’t. An arm closed around his waist just as his knees wobbled, and he sighed into the kiss in content.

“Please tell me that’s what I’ll wake up to every morning from now on.”

James chuckled. “Well I hope so,” he licked his lips. “Now let me try that pie.”

Thomas groaned. “I knew I should’ve let it hidden until after I ravished you.”

“Yes,” he commented and nodded absentmindedly as he cut a big piece, “this was foolish of you.” He tried it and moaned loudly.

Thomas sniggered and hugged his soulmate from behind. “Was it, though?”

James grinned but pushed Thomas’s face away from his neck while he ate. Of course that as soon he was over with that, he pulled him closer and the ravishing began.

Being together was perhaps the most instinctual thing they’d ever done, but that was probably a consequence of their experience with each other. Thomas seemed to know exactly when to push and when to stop, when to lick and when to bite and James felt like losing his mind just after a few minutes, but he too knew how to make Thomas go mad. He simply knew that pulling his hair a certain way or massaging his skull as he bit down the skin of his neck would have nice results, though he’d never had the pleasure of hearing the sweet noises Thomas was making. They were good at reading their movements, looks and slurs, and they exploited it as much as they could, for hours. They made sure to trace each inch of skin they hadn’t seen or touched before, and barely separated at all, as if they needed the contact to breathe as much as they needed air, and maybe in a way, they did. When the alarm in James’s phone told him he only had twenty minutes to get to the library to meet with his friends, he considered texting them that he couldn’t make it.

“Are you meeting with Aaron?” asked Thomas then, and James groaned.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I can’t cancel on them, right? I should check on him.”

“He’s not a baby, and Maria is probably with him already, right? If he’s not okay, he can ask for help.”

James bit his bottom lip. “I guess, but…”

Thomas ran a hand through his hair and dropped a kiss on his soulmate’s shoulder. “Go. But you’re sleeping in my bed tonight.”

James swore it with a kiss, and tried to hurry, though he knew he was definitely going to be late. He took his third shower of the day—the two that came before that one had been pointless, but this one he took it alone, which proved to be a lot more productive though a lot more boring—and then an Uber to the library. Thomas had offered to drive him, but they both concluded that probably wouldn’t be a good idea, and James was already late. If he were to wait for Thomas to be presentable, he might as well change the study date for the next day.

When he finally made it to their table, he was a little breathless but not so late, though his friends had already made a few exercises. “Hello guys, sorry I’m so late!” He sat loudly but didn’t even notice the other people glaring at him. “How are you?”

Aaron stared at him with an arched eyebrow and an amused smirk. “Not as good as you, apparently. Whatever happened in the last twelve hours that made you so happy?”

James bit his bottom lip, but couldn’t repress his beam.

“James?”

“Well, naturally, I got laid my good friend.”

His friends seemed surprised. Clearly, they had not been expecting that.

“With my soulmate,” he added, and relished watching their faces transform.

Aaron tried to glare at him, but couldn’t. He chuckled. “Seriously James? Congratulations! I should hug you. I thought it was never going to happen.”

“I thought you were a fervent anti-soulmates?”

“For me, yes, sure, but in your case it was ridiculous.”

James frowned. “What do you mean?”

“James, anyone who saw you two interact for under a minute could tell you were pinning after each other. There was absolutely no reason for you to not be together.” A tiny voice inside his head had the audacity to say ‘ _And the reasons for you and Alexander are…?_ ’ but he ignored it.

“You’ll have to tell us how it happened,” said Maria, thrilled.

“Honestly, I’m not very sure. Angelica Schuyler dragged him home, apparently he’d been whining drunk about his problems, how apparently _I_ was the cause for all his problems, and she pretty much forced us to talk.”

James seemed to be over with his story, and Aaron and Maria shared a look.

“And?”

“And we talked.”

“So?”

“So,” he shrugged, “we’re together now.”

“That simple?”

“Not everything in life has to be complicated. We love each other, and that’s all that matters.”

With that, Aaron could agree.

Maria was about to say something when she received a text that made her gasp. Aaron arched one eyebrow and James frowned in concern.

“Hey, would you mind if I, uh…”

“Go,” said Aaron, rolling his eyes.

“I love you guys, tell Thomas I said congratulations! And tonight, we’re going out celebrating!”

“Why?” asked James. “I mean, I certainly feel very happy but—”

“James,” Aaron appeased him with a hand on his forearm, “we’re happy for you. And honestly, we were a little tired of watching you two suffer. It really is worth celebrating.”

“Besides, I’m sure Thomas will give us more details,” added Maria with a wink. “And we have to thank Angelica for this miracle!”

Aaron chuckled and shook his head. “Just go, Maria.”

She laughed and left running.

“What was that?”

“I believe Eliza texted her.”

“Oh,” James rolled his eyes.

Aaron went back to reading his book, but he could feel James’s eyes on him. He cleared his throat, thought of a distraction, and smirked when he found one. “So, does this mean you’re going to move into his apartment now?”

James blushed. “We didn’t discuss that, I mean, the school still requires I stay on campus for the rest of the year and next year, so… I guess, once that time is over, I’ll probably move in with him.”

Aaron hummed. “But now you won’t be using the guest room whenever you stay over, though.”

James chuckled and shook his head, giving him a look that told Aaron he’d been discovered. He tried going back to his book, but James cleared his throat and gave him a knowing look. “How did they react when you told them?”

Aaron blinked. “What?”

“The two people you wanted to reassure, did you tell them they were, in fact, soulmates?”

“Oh,” he gulped, “well, I told one.”

James arched one eyebrow and nodded. “And?”

Aaron took a moment to consider what he should say. He wasn’t ready to admit it out loud, not even to himself, but the truth was that he was lost. He didn’t know if what he was doing, by keeping it a secret from everyone, was really the best option, and he didn’t know for how long he’d be able to keep it like that, but he knew that he wasn’t ready to say it out loud; not to himself, not to anyone. There was something in the encouraging smile that James was giving him that told him he knew, but he couldn’t be sure, and he wouldn’t risk it. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “He doesn’t know what to do.”

“Is he not interested in his soulmate?”

“No, he… I don’t know, he wasn’t very clear about it, but… I think he is, interested, at least. But they don’t know each other very well.”

“Well, but if he’s interested, isn’t it worth it, giving it a shot?”

“Is it?”

James licked his lips and tilted his head to the side. “Maybe he doesn’t have to tell him they’re soulmates right away. Maybe they could try dating first.”

Aaron shook his head. Alexander would ask to get tested right away if Aaron were to ask him out. “No, he would want to get tested.”

James’s lips curled downwards in sympathy. “Well, I guess that’s unfortunate. I mean, if the guy that knows doesn’t want to be rushed into a relationship where they both know, and the other guy doesn’t want to _be_ in a relationship if he isn’t sure they are…” he shook his head, “it’s complicated.”

“It’s impossible. But let’s not talk about that.” Aaron didn’t want to talk about how Alexander had wanted to find his soulmate his whole life. He didn’t want to think about Alexander’s expectations or dreams and how readily he would jump into a relationship with him the moment he found out they were soulmates. He didn’t want to think about how he probably wouldn’t even dare to admit he was unhappy as he realized Aaron wasn’t what he really wanted, as he realized that whatever pulled them together wasn’t enough. He didn’t, he couldn’t think about how easy it would be to tell him all and be told in response that nothing like that would happen.

He couldn’t let himself hope, because hope could kill.

“Text Thomas to let him know we’re taking you out for drinks. Is there a particular bar you like?”

James leaned back in his chair and started typing. “Well… there’s a place near Thomas’s apartment that we like.”

“We’ll go there then. Send me the address so I can tell Angelica.”

Angelica was thrilled with the news. She dragged them to a bar she liked and forced them to pose for several pictures—though the look on her face when she realized their screen lock pictures _already_ had been of each other even when they weren’t together was priceless—and when she considered it was enough, sent the two of them to get drinks for her and the rest—who at the time consisted of Aaron, Maria and Eliza.

“I did that,” declared Angelica, pointing at James and Thomas with a finger. “I am amazing.”

“I thought,” a voice from behind her made them jump, “you were the proud forerunner of the ‘ _What you want is valid_ ’ movement here in Princeton, and you go around getting soulmates together now?”

She glared at the smirking Laurens. “Who cares if they’re soulmates? They wanted each other,” she shrugged. “Shut up. I’m amazing, and you’re not taking that from me.”

Eliza chuckled and shook her head. “You are amazing, that is true. Hey!” she complained as he pushed her against Maria so the four of them could sit too. “Rude!” she chuckled, but ended up sitting on her girlfriend’s lap, who didn’t utter a word of protest.

“Who are they, and why are they sitting in our table?” asked Thomas as he came back with a tray of drinks.

Laurens arched his eyebrows and grabbed one drink for himself and another for Alexander. “Is there a problem?”

“Well—”

“I think” James interrupted them placing a placating hand in Thomas’s arm, “what Thomas meant was hello, and who are you?”

Aaron shook his head. “These are my roommate Alexander and his friends. The rude one is John, and I know that sometimes it’s difficult to realize but those are two people? Yes, Hercules and Gilbert. Don’t worry if you’re not sure which is who, they’re always together. They’re friends with the Schuyler sisters, and since we’re here buying drinks for Angelica, they kind of invited themselves.”

“Hey, rude,” whined Lafayette. “Angelica invited us.”

“Yeah, she said we would be getting free drinks,” added Laurens.

The conversation was strained for a minute or two but shortly it turned animated again, with several simultaneous conversations. Maria dragged James into a tricky argument with Eliza whereas Hercules started asking Thomas about some remodeling he intended to do in the restaurant, and aside from arguing whose turn was it to go get more drinks, there didn’t seem to be any major disagreements for the rest of the night.

There was one point in which Hercules had to stop Thomas with a hand to turn around to face his boyfriend and ask: “George did what?”

Lafayette rolled his eyes. “No, not our George!, the professor, George Washington.”

“Ah,” Hercules nodded, “that makes more sense.” He then turned again, intending to continue with the interest topic of the benefits and downsides of using carpet in the dining area, but Thomas was staring at the other side of the table with an expression of pure confusion.

“Their dog is called George,” explained Aaron.

“They have a dog together?”

“Technically is Laf’s but we can’t have pets on the dorms, so Hercules keeps it.”

“Now he likes me better,” said Laurens.

“That is a lie!” yelled Gilbert.

“Oh my God, not this again!” groaned Alexander, covering his face with his hands.

All in all, it was a great night out, and Thomas had a feeling he would keep seeing the funny—though quite annoying—group after that.

“So that was Aaron’s roommate, huh,” he commented once they were all alone in his apartment.

James chuckled. “Was my previous description of him accurate?”

“Yes. I got to say though, he kind of… suits Aaron, doesn’t he?”

James hummed. “They complement each other, I guess.”

Thomas snorted. “Yeah… they do.” That’s what soulmates were supposed to be, after all. Thomas did no longer know if the knowledge of that condition was a good or bad thing. Some couples worked whether they were or not; some couples checked and others didn’t, but ultimately, people would find what they needed even if they weren’t looking for it. There could be a million reasons for a person never finding their soulmate, but to do it even when they didn’t want to, that was… that could either be Fate, playing with them, or God, sending a message, or life really was that random. Thomas didn’t know, and he didn’t much care, if he had to be honest. He wished nothing but the best for his friends, but right then, getting ready to sleep next to his soulmate, he couldn’t fathom a world in where he didn’t know James was the perfect fit for him, which was, by all means, an unquestionable truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey for Thomas and James! It only took them...45857 words!  
> If you liked it, leave a comment, and if you hated it, leave one too! School is killing me and I really should be studying instead of writing this (no one should have three exams in one day... no one! Don't go to college, kids) but here I am, trying to convince myself that is worth it.  
> See you soon! I hope you liked it!


	6. DIY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have many things to do but I figured I wouldn't be able to focus until I published this thing, thus, enjoy!  
> Also, I don't really know how to rate things and there's nothing really explicit but uh, still, I thought I should let you know there are mentions of sexy times in this chapter

One major problem of dating rich people is how frequent and carelessly they buy presents. There doesn’t need to be an occasion, because they can afford it, so if they see something they think their significant other might like, they buy it. Lafayette and Eliza were like that. Thomas and James too, but since they were in pretty similar conditions, they didn’t much mind. Aaron had been that way too, and as Maria complained about it to him, he could imagine—and remember—Bellamy having those very same thoughts. It wasn’t a bad thing _per se_ , it just made her feel uncomfortable, but far from censuring a good thing, she started to look for a solution to even the playfield. It took her a few days to come up with a good idea, but when she did, she went to Aaron’s room to tell him, hoping she could discuss the details with him since she wouldn’t have known how to do it if it weren’t for him. She hadn’t been expecting to find Alexander there, so she hesitated for a moment, but eventually decided she could use him too. She had gotten more familiar with him and the rest of his group in the last couple of weeks anyway.

“I’m starting my own business,” explained she, sitting down at the feet of Aaron’s bed. “So, if you know anyone who wants to get tested like, privately or discreetly, let them know I can do it,” she winked.

Alexander, lying on his side to face her, frowned. “What do you mean?”

“All I need is hair of the two subjects and money,” she grinned. “Can you lend me a hair tie?”

“Sure,” he stretched to get one from his bedside table and then sat to hand it to her. “Hair? You mean, like, a homemade test?”

She nodded as she expertly braided her hair on the side. “That’s right. And I’m intending to get money out of it so I can get Eliza something pretty. I promise I’ll give you a small part for every client you get me.”

“I didn’t know anyone could try and test it,” mumbled Alexander, still in shock.

“Yeah, it’s not even that hard. Still, pharmacies and laboratories don’t want us to know that. It’d be bad for business. Aaron taught me.”

“Really?” Alexander turned to stare at his roommate wide-eyed.

Aaron, who’d been doodling over a paper he was supposed to be reading, sighed. “Yes. A friend taught me back in middle school. You honestly didn’t know it was a thing?”

“I had no idea! Is this supposed to be common knowledge?”

“I don’t know if _common_ , but it’s not a secret either.”

“But I thought you didn’t like soulmates.”

“I don’t.” He swallowed and tried to look away from Alexander. He couldn’t. He never could. “I don’t want to find them either,” he added what he’d said many times before, and had meant it. He guessed Fate had a petty sense of humor.

Alexander frowned. “If you didn’t want to find your soulmate, why did you learn to do the test?”

“So I could find them and then avoid them forever.”

Alexander stared at him with his face contorted in a horrified grimace.

Aaron was literally saved by the bell then, when his alarm rang. He stretched his arms over his head and stood up. “Okay. This has been fun and all, but I have to go.”

“Wait, don’t leave, we’re still talking!”

“I have a class, Alexander.”

Alexander had a class also. It was Monday. And it wasn’t any class, it was a class with professor Washington. “Okay, okay… uh,” he scratched the back of his head, “what class do you have now?”

Aaron frowned. He knew Alexander’s favorite class was about to start also. “Introduction to Philosophy,” he licked his lips. “Why?”

“Can I go?”

“Don’t you have another class right now?”

“I’ll ask Lafayette for his notes. It doesn’t matter.”

“Lafayette is in Comparative Politics with you? I thought he was a Lit major?”

Alexander shrugged. “Yeah, but he’s weird. Let’s go.”

Aaron knew it couldn’t possibly be a good idea. He’d never been to a class with Alexander, but Lafayette and James had been very descriptive on the many occasions they’d complained about him. Well, James complained; Gilbert actually tended to compliment him on his input, but he too admitted he talked too much. He didn’t want to think how he would be on a class that was fundamentally discussing things, and Professor Bentham already paid Aaron a lot of attention, just in case he would dare to give his opinion—in one month of classes, he’d actually talked twice, and Bentham had looked overly excited and was fast to agree with him and praise his articulateness. Still, the idea of watching Alexander in his element like that was a very tempting one, and his eager expression was making his stomach do something funny, so of course, he simply led the boy to the classroom without another word of protest.

Maria watched them leave in the opposite direction with an arched eyebrow and considered texting James to discuss Aaron’s obvious crush on his roommate when she received a message from Eliza and forgot all about it.

In ninth grade, Maria had been convinced she knew what love was. Her mother’s obsession with soulmates had been almost under control at the time and though she wasn’t technically allowed to date and the one time they asked her out she said no, she was familiar with crushes and romance novels. She’d had a very clear definition of love in her head. Then came Reynolds, and all her previous conceptions went to hell. She started adapting her ideas to her reality just to keep smiling, which near the end of that relationship had become pretty damn difficult.

Now, she never had trouble smiling. What she felt whenever she even thought of Eliza resembled everything she had believed when she was younger, and more. There were butterflies in her stomach and giggling when she was alone and just, the impulse of dancing out of mere happiness all the time. It didn’t matter that Eliza was in another town five days a week. Sure, she would love seeing her every day, but it wasn’t a _problem_. There was nothing they couldn’t solve if they put their minds to it; Eliza was creative, and Maria was… she was smart.

_“Why do you always say that?”_ had asked Eliza with a slight frown a few weekends ago.

Maria had blinked, a little confused. _“Say what?”_

_“That you’re not stupid.”_

She then laughed nervously. _“Well, because I’m not?”_

Eliza had shaken her head. _“You’re far more than that. You’re very smart, dear. Start using that word. The absence of one trait does not guarantee the presence of the opposite. And you are, Maria, you are smart. Own it.”_

She hadn’t even noticed how used she was to do that. To think of herself as someone that wasn’t stupid, that wasn’t ugly, that wasn’t mean or a bad person. She never thought that she was more than that, that she was smart, that she was beautiful, that she was nice, and a good person. It was insane how powerful words were, how significant was the difference between an adjective and another.

By the time she got to her room—even though she was in the same building, walking and texting wasn’t recommendable, so she tried to stop or at least slow down each time she answered and thus it took her a few minutes to reach her floor—she had forgotten all about Aaron and Alexander. Her mind was filled with Eliza’s voice in the one audio she had sent her; with the plans they were making about using Skype to eat lunch together and what time they would get together on Friday; with Eliza’s latest class and Maria’s group presentation that had simply been one frustration after another because all her classmates wanted to do different things and in the Q&A section they had all wanted to answer and had been very disrespectful with each other, which the professor later reproved.

It was nice to complain to someone like Eliza, that not only would agree with her on that they were all idiots but would suggest very ridiculous ‘vengeances’ and distract her in very subtle ways. She loved her friends. She loved Aaron’s calmness and sharp sense of humor, and James’s brutal honesty and wit, and Thomas’s dramatism and odd insight. They all had been very important for her to find peace. They gave her a place where she felt safe enough to start acting on her own instead of simply follow whatever her mother and soulmate wanted her to do. They were precious to her, and she hoped they would never exit her life, but the prospect of talking to them was nothing like what she felt when she thought of Eliza. Eliza was sweet and funny and so, so patient. Eliza was kind, always had a smile on her face for Maria, and had the most delicate voice and hands. She’d admired both since they met, but only now, after a while together, the mere thought of them could make her blush.

_“I just want to rewrite on your skin all those bad experiences and replace them with something good, something worth remembering,”_ said Eliza the first time she’s stayed over at Maria’s dorm one Friday. _“I want that when you’re in the shower or staring into the mirror or trying on new clothes, the only hands you think of other than yours are mine,”_ she’d whispered as her hands roamed up and down her sides and legs, undressing her slowly. _“I want to taste you so then you’ll believe me when I tell you how delicious you are.”_

_“Eliza!”_

Eliza had giggled and dropped a tender, closemouthed kiss on her hip. _“I want to do all that, but the question is, do you want me to? I won’t do anything you don’t want.”_

Usually, questions regarding Maria’s likes and dislikes stressed her. They reminded her of times of uncertainty and pressure. Even when it came to things that she could be certain had nothing to do with her mother, when somebody asked Maria if she liked or wanted something, she always hesitated.

That time she couldn’t have hesitated if she tried.

She wanted everything. She wanted Eliza’s hands and mouth and voice to surround her, to drown on them. And she wanted in turn to touch and kiss and taste, and never in her life had been so grateful over having a single room—and she’d been very grateful about it once, but it couldn’t compare to the delight of being able to lock herself with Eliza and forget all about the world for hours. Honestly, she forgot all about the world as soon as she had Eliza’s attention. She couldn’t help it. She knew she was supposed to stop feeling that way at some point, that the intensity of it all should lessen, but that only meant she was allowed to be completely smitten like she was while it lasted, and at least her friends didn’t seem to disagree. If anything, they seemed to be almost as happy with how things had turned out between them as she was.

They never talked about it, but they clearly were relieved her first real relationship after the soulmate fiasco was healthy. It wouldn’t have been weird for someone with her past to get stuck in another loveless, controlling relationship, or even to go back to Reynolds and her mother. So really, if anybody was out there cheering on them, those would be Aaron, James and Thomas, and mostly Aaron, really.

They didn’t know why, they just knew it was that way. Sometimes friends don’t really need to know what motivates someone, it’s enough to know said motivation exists. But sometimes, whenever he was alone with any of them, Aaron considered talking. People said talking helped to heal all sorts of wounds, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to heal just yet. For then, it was enough with knowing that Maria was safe and sound, and happy. While she was happy, she would be alright. And if she could be happy without her soulmate, then maybe Alexander could be happy too.

The problem was that Alexander didn’t know he had to stop looking.

Professor Bentham was an interesting man. He had a deep voice and a way of moving that simply attracted all eyes to him. His class was an interesting one, and Aaron loved it. He hardly ever doodled in his class, because he was so focused on what Bentham was saying. Still, he wasn’t surprised that with Alexander by his side, his concentration got affected. He’d always known Alexander was a force of nature but watching him go against five students at once and completely destroy their arguments was impressive. And not only he was sharp and eloquent, he was also funny. Aaron was so doomed.

He noticed Professor Bentham studying them the entire lecture, and the last thing he needed was to discuss what was going on with him, or who the guy unenrolled in his class raising his hand every five minutes and whispering in Aaron’s ear the rest of the time had been, so as soon as he could, he grabbed his backpack and Alexander’s arm, and dragged him away. He usually left fast but he’d never been the one to open the door before.

“Well that was fun,” commented Alexander after they’d made half way back to their dorm. Only then did Aaron realize he was still holding his arm.

“You talked way too much.”

“I thought that’s what we were supposed to do. Besides, the professor kept looking our way, and you didn’t say anything.”

Aaron shrugged. “He says I should talk more, but I don’t. And the ones that are supposed to discuss in class are the students that are enrolled in it, Alexander.”

Alexander was giving him a weird look. “You like him.”

“Bentham?” Aaron frowned and stopped walking. They weren’t far from their dorm. “He’s… no, I don’t _like_ him, Alexander, not in the way you’re implying, anyway.” Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he sighed. “We’ve talked after class a few times, discussed some stuff, and I respect and care about his opinion. I don’t _like_ him.”

“Okay… I heard he lost his soulmate when he was young.”

Aaron crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s your point?”

“Just, you don’t want to meet your soulmate so maybe…”

“Alexander, do you like Professor Washington?”

Alexander’s eyes widened comically. “What?”

“I’m just making a parallel here.”

“A very ridiculous parallel, if I may say so.”

“Why? You talk about the guy almost every day,” he shrugged. “You respect and care for his opinion, people say you’re like, his favorite student, so why not? Do my words make you feel uncomfortable?”

“Okay, okay, I get it. Sorry,” he looked away and scratched the back of his head, biting the inside of his cheek. “I just don’t understand why you’d want to be alone.” In all honesty, Alexander didn’t know why but he’d gotten slightly jealous of the professor. It was ridiculous, and he knew it, but the guy had been openly staring at Aaron, and then Aaron went and said how he cared about his opinion and Alexander’s ears had gotten really warm. Alexander cared about Aaron’s opinion an awful lot, but the guy hardly ever asked Alexander for his.

“So you started trying to set me up with teachers? Thanks, but I don’t need that.”

“No, I get it, I’m sorry.”

Alexander didn’t get it, but that wasn’t his fault, and Aaron thought that if the occasion presented, he would tell him. Of course, he didn’t think the occasion would present itself so soon.

Most weekdays now that Alexander had classes early in the morning on Tuesdays and Thursdays, they had take-out or pizza together for dinner. Usually they put on a movie or a show on one of their laptops on one of their beds, but sometimes they ended up talking more than watching and would turn the laptop off or place it on the other bed, so they had more space to look at each other while they talked. Sometimes, they didn’t because that way they didn’t have more space, but they still looked at each other. The first night Aaron came up with the idea they watched _The Whole Truth_ —Aaron had seen the trailer and immediately thought of Alexander; it contained lawyers, a criminal investigation, Renée Zellweger _and_ Keanu Reeves! —and commented it for hours. It had been the first time Aaron had felt relatively comfortable talking to Alexander again, after the damn discovery, and he’d tried to replicate it as often as he could. That Monday night, however, none of them seemed to be enjoying the movie.

“I don’t understand suicides,” said Alexander without pausing the movie. It wasn’t really necessary. The main character was crying again.

Aaron shifted in his side, uncomfortable with the subject. To be honest, he didn’t either, and he didn’t like talking about it. He shrugged. “I guess that means you’re healthy, right?”

Alexander turned to face him with a weird expression. “You think people need to be sick to do that?”

“Well,” he pursed his lips and frowned, “kind of.”

Alexander went back to watch the movie. They had finished eating but their plates were still on the bed. He collected them and put them on his bedside table, while the main character rubbed her eyes and started a new entry on her diary. “After my mother died, I went to live with a cousin that later killed himself.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I never understood why he did it. He was young, he had time still, but people on the Island acted like if you hadn’t found your soulmate before you were twenty you were doomed, which was bullshit. My mother didn’t find hers until she was thirty-two.”

For the first time in two years, Aaron, as the girl on the screen ran through a foggy forest for no reason, said out loud: “My sister killed herself.”

“I’m sorry.”

“She did it because her life was already over.” She did it because she was unhappy. She did it because she was lonely. She did it, and she left Aaron alone.

“That’s…”

“Her life was over because she married her soulmate.” Which had been a mistake. An irreversible mistake. The girl in the screen was still running.

“Oh,” Alexander bit his bottom lip. Aaron looked angry, but Alexander didn’t think he was angry at him. He figured he didn’t talk much about it, if at all. “My mother thought her life was over when she married, too, though she didn’t marry her soulmate.”

“I thought your parents had been soulmates.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah… the first time she tried to leave him, he begged her not to, and he was very convincing. He had more money, and they already had a kid together, and promised her they would raise the kid she was expecting together as well, that the four of them could be a family, so she told her soulmate to go. He’d been a tourist anyway, a broke tourist,” he snorted, “so he left. But then he came back. Apparently, he couldn’t forget her either, and then she got pregnant of me. She went as far as actually packing that time, but her husband told her if she left, she would never see her children again, so she stayed, and then my father left for good.”

“I don’t understand how he could be so desperate to keep someone in his life that didn’t love him.”

Alexander shrugged. “I don’t know. We were never close.”

“Why did you go with a cousin after she died?”

“I searched for anyone who could take me that wasn’t him. And when he found out, he was furious. He told me he was my father and I had no business trying to escape, but I did anyway.”

“Did he look for you?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “The cops brought me back to his house like ten times in the first year alone. Apparently, they were supposed to take me there if they ever saw me.”

“But you kept leaving.”

“Of course I did. I hated that man. He wasn’t my father.”

“Did you ever look for your father?”

Alexander shrugged one shoulder. “All I know is his name.”

“So you never did?”

“Hell yeah, I did, but the internet wasn’t very helpful. I couldn’t even find him on Facebook. Or maybe I did, and I didn’t recognize him. How could I? I never even had a picture of him.”

“When my sister and I moved with our Aunt and Uncle, they put the box with the photo albums in the attic and we never saw them again. I used to check them a lot, because I couldn’t remember what my parents looked like… I, I don’t think I remember those pictures now, either.”

Alexander wanted to hug Aaron and never let him go. He understood what it was to have your world reshaped more than once, and it sucked.

Aaron cleared his throat. “And your mother… she lived twelve years without her soulmate?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s pretty impressive.”

“Yeah,” Alexander bit his bottom lip. It was well-known that most people when separated abruptly from their soulmates didn’t live much after. Be it suicide, or natural causes—which many people would address as ‘the sadness of the lonely soul’—studies esteemed around 87% wouldn’t live pass five years after the separation. It happened even with divorced couples; some had lived decades apart, but the moment one of them died, the other’s health would irremediably deteriorate with no other possible explanation. “Though I think that’s what really killed her, you know? Even if it took so long.”

“My grandmother didn’t even last a year.”

“I’m sorry.”

Aaron shrugged. He didn’t know why he’d mentioned that, because he didn’t want to talk about it. He’d been seven, and that had been the first time he realized how selfish he could be, how selfish he _was_. He’d tried to bury it. He thought he’d been over it all, but then Sally went and just brought it all up again.

They made him so angry. He hadn’t even mourned them properly, none of the three, and aside from Bellamy, they had been the only people who ever loved him. They’d been dead for years, and he still was angry at them, even when rationally he knew it hadn’t been their faults. If he went to go back in time, there wasn’t a thing he could change, there wasn’t anything he could tell them to keep any of them by his side, and he knew they really had loved him, that they wouldn’t have left him alone if they could’ve helped it.

It was all because of soulmates that it happened.

“How old were you?” asked Alexander.

Aaron swallowed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Alexander wouldn’t insist. He got some _Oreos_ out of his backpack and offered one to Aaron, who took it with a small smile.

“My grandfather… my grandfather was diabetic, and my grandmother wouldn’t let him eat any candies because she said once he started he couldn’t stop and that was the main reason he was sick,” he chuckled, “so he would ask me to get stuff for me and then he ate half of them in minutes. I guess she was right. He could eat an entire package of these in less than three minutes. It was impressive.”

Alexander snorted.

“I used to think it was hilarious.”

“It sounds hilarious.”

“Yeah,” he bit his bottom lip. “My sister was the same. My grandmother used to… to warn her, she was really serious but then she would bake pies almost every day so I’m not quite sure how much she meant it.”

“I think we should turn this crap off,” commented Alexander, pointing at the screen.

Aaron stared at it in surprise. “She’s still running?”

“I think she does that when she’s dreaming.”

Aaron shook his head. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”

Alexander giggled. “It’s a really shitty movie. I’m so sorry.”

“You’ll be banned from picking movies for at least two weeks.”

“No! That’s not fair! Last week you made us watch that creepy children’s movie and I didn’t complain!”

“Okay, first of all, _Coraline_ is a master piece.”

“It was super creepy!”

“It was a horror movie!”

“Yeah, but it’s supposed to be for children!”

“ _Exactly_ ,” Aaron shook his head. “It should be tolerable for adults.”

“I’m a child in the inside!”

“ _Only_ in the inside?”

Alexander gasped and proceeded to attack Aaron with tickles. He’d only discovered how ticklish his roommate was after James Madison commented it during lunch the week before, and Alexander hadn’t gotten a chance to see the extent of it by himself. He was quite please to find out Aaron turned into a human spring who screamed like a little girl even before his fingers got closed to his sides, and begged for mercy merely seconds later, in between gasps. It was a little exaggerated, but he didn’t seem to be acting, and Alexander considered it adorable. That didn’t mean he would willingly stop.

No, he only stopped after Aaron slapped him in the face, apparently by mistake, if his horrified expression was to be believed.

“I’m so sorry.”

“You did that on purpose!”

“I did not!”

“Am I bleeding?”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “You are not, don’t be a—dear God, you _are_ , oh Alexander I’m so sorry.”

“What?” Alexander hurried to check on his phone’s front camera and then turned to glare at his laughing roommate.

“I thought you had a great tolerance for pain.”

“I do! I just don’t like blood, it stains,” mumbled Alexander, pouting. “And it really hurt.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t look sorry.”

Aaron hummed. “What time is it? Maybe we still have time to watch something else. Is _Corpse Bride_ out of the question, or dancing skeletons are okay?”

“Dancing skeletons are more than okay,” informed Alexander, and the emotional rollercoaster was officially over for the night—no one needed to know they both teared up with ‘Tears to Shed’, but really, who could blame them? And if they ended up laying a little bit too close, no one was there to point it out and they certainly wouldn’t. It was nice, and it was their little routine and Alexander adored it. He hoped they could stay roommates next semester, but he was almost as scared to ask that as he was of asking Aaron what perfume he used—which was possibly the most mesmerizing fragrance Alexander had ever known. It was a little embarrassing to admit how much time he’d been wasting on checking out rankings for new movies and shows just so he could find something Aaron hadn’t seen—Alexander didn’t know how Aaron found the time, but he’d seen almost every movie Alexander had proposed and the ones he hadn’t, he still knew—but he made sure to erase his searcher history. Everyone was always telling him to take a break so really, that was a nice thing to do after hours of reading and writing. Still, he only ever did it when he was alone. That way, when he had something he really needed to focus on, he simply got together with a friend to study and there was no time wasted on the impossible task.

On Friday, for example, he got together with Lafayette early in the library to work in the essay for Washington’s class. His friend was supposed to be working on the same thing, but only two minutes after sitting down, his friend’s face ended up hitting his laptop’s keyboard.

“Laf?”

“Hey,” he straightened and caressed the laptop as if he had spilled dust on it instead of hitting it with his head. “I’m awake.”

“Are you sure?”

Alexander guessed the French was glaring at him, but he couldn’t be sure, for he didn’t look capable of fully opening his eyes, and he probably had to squint just to get a clear picture. “Did you get any sleep last night?”

Lafayette sighed. “No.”

“And… why not?”

“It’s very lame.”

“Laf.”

“I stayed late writing,” he yawned. “A cousin’s birthday is coming, and she told my mother that she misses the stories I used to tell her when she stayed at my house, so now I’m trying to write them all down.”

“Oh, that’s very nice!”

“Yeah, that’s what they call me, ‘Gilbert the nice’. I just wish I could remember them all better, or way worse. Why did I make them so detailed? It’s ridiculous.”

“Hello,” James Madison, coming out of nowhere, sat on the chair in front of Lafayette, startling them. “Can I sit here? The library is packed!”

Alexander smiled cordially at him. In the past few weeks he’d learnt to appreciate whenever he was alone with Madison, for he would always say something about Aaron Alexander didn’t know. “Sure man.”

“You already did,” stated Lafayette.

James arched one eyebrow. In the several times the guy had visited because of Thomas and Hercules’s uncanny association due to their love for food and Hercules’s remodeling plans, he’d always been nice, and James considered him a friend now. His hostility was startling, to say the least. “You okay, Gil?”

He sighed. “I’m just tired. Sorry. Do you think whales are scary?”

“Come again?”

“I just used to think they were cute, you know? Like, huge, but adorable, like elephants. But Herc says he always thought they were scary and now I don’t know if I should change it. Maybe I could do it about a dolphin instead?”

“I’m so confused,” admitted James.

“He’s writing stories for kids,” explained Alexander, “so I imagine a whale is an important character and now you’re considering changing it for a dolphin? I mean, I like dolphins, but whales are nice too.”

James nodded. “I like whales. Tell Herc he was a coward as a child and his opinion no longer is to be trusted for he’s not an accurate representation of children anywhere.”

Lafayette chuckled weakly and closed his laptop. “I won’t tell him that. So far, he’s the only person I ask things. Though he might be a little soft.”

“He’s not a good critic then.”

“No,” he stored his laptop in his backpack, “I mean soft as in, half of the things I write make him cry. He always makes me change stuff.”

“Dude, what are you writing?”

“Do you intend torturing children?”

Whether those were Gilbert’s true intentions after all or not, they never knew, for they were interrupted by Maria that as she joined them declared: “I don’t know what to do.” She sat heavily next to James and in front of Alexander, and hoped Aaron had been there, but he had class.

“Why?”

“The girl that has been stalking John hired me. I can’t tell if it’s his hair, but…”

Alexander gasped. “You can’t do it!”

“But she already paid me! She wouldn’t let me say no!”

“Then, then don’t do it but tell her you did. Tell her it came out negative.”

“That’s not ethic.”

“Testing someone without their knowledge it’s not ethic, Maria,” said Lafayette, without opening his eyes. “Your entire business is not ethic.”

James nodded with a sympathetic smile. “You got to admit he’s right. I mean, this time you know there’s something wrong because you’ve heard Laurens complain about her, but if you hadn’t, would you have hesitated?”

Lafayette, who had been resting his head in Alexander’s shoulder, crossed his arms on the table and hunched so he would use them as a pillow. “I think you should do it.”

“What?”

“Do it,” he yawned. “If it comes out positive, don’t tell anyone, but if comes out negative, then that’s something to celebrate, right? You would be taking a weight out of John’s shoulders.”

Alexander shook his head. “I think you should tell Laurens before you do anything.”

“Are we even sure the hair is his?”

“I almost am. Besides, she’s totally obsessed with him. She has his Facebook profile picture as her screen lock image.”

“That is _so_ creepy.”

She nodded.

“I’ll tell him,” said Alexander. “Let him decide.”

“You’d do that? Thank you!”

He nodded.

“Okay,” she looked relieved. “I got to go. Let me know what he says, okay?” She waved a hand and disappeared.

“I’ll go too,” said Lafayette, repressing a yawn.

Alexander bit his index finger and around it he mumbled: “Be careful.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he rubbed his face with a hand and managed to walk in a straight line. He probably wouldn’t get hit by a car if he kept walking that way.

“Well, it’s always fun to watch your friends question their morals and principles in front of you,” commented James as he stood up.

“But it’s a little concerning,” murmured Alexander. He only stopped biting his finger so he could use it to close the zipper of his backpack. “I mean, what would she do if someone brought her Aaron’s hair, for example? You know he doesn’t want to find his soulmate.”

“Aaron already knows who his soulmate is,” said James.

“What?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, he checked it like a month ago,” James knew exactly how long it had been, because it was the night Thomas and he had started dating, six weeks ago. “He made me do it in Thomas’s place. It came out positive.” James studied Alexander’s face carefully, how he obviously tried to keep it blank, but some anguish was still leaking, and he felt bad for him.

There wasn’t much he could do about them, so he tried to forget all about it. Alexander was a good guy, but he was under the impression that Aaron’s aversion to soulmates was a little more complicated than most arguments for the WYWV movement. He made his way to Thomas’s apartment distractedly, as he did on most Fridays now. At the end he hadn’t gotten anything done in the library, but everything he needed to study was on his laptop—though he knew that as long as he stayed with Thomas, he would be too busy with other activities to study. At least, he always could do it while his soulmate cooked. Not that night though, because by the time he arrived, lunch was almost ready. Still, he joined Thomas in the kitchen to keep him company, but Alexander’s reaction was yet vivid inside his head.

Thomas turned off the stove and didn’t turn to ask: “What’s on your mind?”

“Today I told Hamilton Aaron knows who his soulmate is.”

Thomas frowned, spinning abruptly. “Why’d you do that?”

James shrugged. “It just… popped. I don’t know,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I thought it was for the best. I mean, I didn’t tell him who it was.”

“Because you don’t know who it is, James. And what if he goes to Aaron and asks him? That’s going to be awkward.”

James bit his bottom lip. “Why?”

“Why?”

“Why do you think Aaron hates it so much? I mean, I know he likes Alexander.”

Thomas hugged his sides. “I don’t know. I never asked him. Have you?”

“I know that he doesn’t want a relationship based on it, but he looked so miserable I doubt is only that.” He got two plates out of a cabinet and glasses. “Let’s eat on the couch?”

Thomas nodded and turned to get the cutlery. “Aaron had a sister, right?”

“Yes…?” he handed him a plate while Thomas served the steak and rice they would eat. “He’s never mentioned her, though. I only know because Maria told me to google him.”

Thomas snorted. “Yeah, she told me to do it too. It’s not weird of him to omit that sort of thing though, I mean, she only died like two years ago.”

James nodded as they made their way to the couch. “I couldn’t imagine losing a sibling, and I have half a dozen of them. Losing the only one… must have been tough. Are we bad friends?”

“For not making him talk about his problems? Nah. He’ll do it if he needs to.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

Thomas sighed. “We can’t pressure him into being more open. We can only let him know he can be, and I think we’ve done that.”

James hummed.

“Hey,” Thomas grabbed James’s chin in between his thumb and index finger, softly getting him to look at him. “Give him time. It literally took us twelve years to get together. Aaron has known for less than two months. We got to let him figure out what he wants.” He dropped a closemouthed peck on his lips and then let go of him to resume eating. “We should at least put on the news or something.”

James snorted but stretched to get the remote. “Let’s watch that movie where the guy gets amnesia and that other girl convinces him they’re soulmates but really his soulmate was that other guy.”

“The one where they didn’t know they were, and the guy thinks his friend had kept the girl hidden from everybody?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn, that’s a frustrating movie, I love it.”

James chuckled. “I know.”

He found it quickly on Netflix and pressed play. Distractedly, he thought of texting Maria later to hear what happened with Laurens’s stalker. Surely by then she would at least know what to do about it, right?

Well, not quite. Alexander was only then entering John’s studio. His way there had been a little problematic. With all the things in his head, he’d almost ran into a girl that had been walking and texting, a guy on a bike almost hit him, and he nearly stepped on a cat’s tail. It was ridiculous, but he barely registered any of it. He’d been replaying his conversation with his roommate from earlier that week inside his head the entire time, trying to understand how Aaron could be such a great actor, talking about how he didn’t want to find his soulmate when he already had. He guessed it surely meant he didn’t care about it, thus he could just brush off the knowledge like it didn’t change anything. For some reason, that thought made Alexander’s chest ache, and every intake of breath came a little harsher.

Somehow, he managed to put on a smile for his friend when he let him in. “Hey.”

“Hey, don’t hug me or you’ll paint your clothes blue.”

“I noticed.”

“Well, not that I don’t like you visiting but you hardly do on weekdays now. Is everything okay?” he smirked. Ever since Alexander told him about his movie-nights with Aaron, he messed with him even more. He seemed to be convinced something was going on between them. “Is Aaron going out on a date or something?”

“What? No!” Aaron, that already knew who his soulmate was. No dates. No, he wasn’t out on a date with anybody. He cleared his throat. “Something happened though. Martha contacted Maria. She thinks she got your hair somewhere, and she wants to get tested.”

“Oh, shit,” he groaned and started redoing his ponytail. “That’s so fucking scary, man. How did she even get it? I swear if I could go back in time I’d shave my head.”

“Then perhaps she would drug you to get your blood somehow.”

“Shut up.”

“She’s insane, but she paid Maria. What do you want to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think she should do the test? If it’s negative, she might stop.”

Laurens frowned. “Sure. But if it’s positive she might forge my signature and marry me,” he grinned. “Look, I don’t really mind.” He checked for the right brush and turned around to face the large canvas he’d been working on. “No matter the result, I would like it if Maria told her that it’s negative, but she doesn’t need to do it for that. Then again, if the hair isn’t even mine, maybe the poor bastard is her soulmate and we’d be lying just for the heck of it, I don’t know.” He sighed and mixed two shades of green on his palette. “Tell her to do it, and that if the result is negative then great and shout it to the world, you know? If it’s positive, then let me think about it before telling her anything, alright? She hasn’t bothered me for a few days, maybe she found someone else and is waiting for that result or something.”

Alexander nodded and hummed. “Okay. I texted her. Apparently, we’ll know in minutes.”

“Oh, now I’m scared,” he giggled.

“Don’t be…” Alexander started playing Solitary on his phone and John went back to painting. For almost half an hour, they stayed in a tense silence that no one felt more willing to break. The three times Alexander’s phone vibrated, John had turned instantly, but since they’d all been other things—one email, one comment on a picture on Facebook and one invitation to an event—he didn’t turn the fourth time. Alexander cleared his throat. “Nothing has happened so far. But that could change any minute.”

“Dude, shut up. Don’t stress me more than necessary.”

Alexander chuckled and shook his head. “She says something should’ve happened by now. It’ll be official in three minutes but you, or whoever the hair’s owner is, are not Martha’s soulmate.”

Laurens groaned. “Thank god!”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy over a negative result before,” admitted Alexander, eating his fifth cookie since he’d opened them while they waited for Maria’s message. “I really hope my soulmate is not a crazy person.”

“I bet Aaron is your soulmate,” said John absentmindedly, the brush making one long, bright line of blue in the middle of the canvas.

Alexander choked on his _Oreos_. “What?”

“I’m sure he is,” Laurens grinned, “I mean, you just function so well together.”

“I’m sure we’re not, Laurens,” grumbled Alexander through tightened teeth, brushing some crumbs off his chest.

“How? Have you tested it?” he turned around just to wink. “I’m sure you are.”

“Aaron already knows who his soulmate is, John.”

“So?”

Alexander gasped. “What do you mean, _so_?”

“Well,” he grabbed a chair and turned it, let the backrest towards Alexander and then straddled it, “he’s an anti-soulmates, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So obviously he’s not going to tell you if he knows you are. You guys are friends.”

“But—”

“Alexander, the only way of being sure is testing it.”

“And how am I going to do it? I can’t go to a lab, and if I ask Maria she’s going to interrogate me!”

“Then ask Aaron.”

“What?”

Laurens rested his chin on his extended palm. “He knows how, right?”

“Yeah, but…” he bit his bottom lip. “I’ll screw up. I know it.”

“There’s no possible way to screw it up. Aaron is not going to ask you.”

Alexander looked around the room. He knew it wasn’t a good idea. He knew there were a thousand ways in which that could go wrong. But he also knew Laurens was right in that Aaron wouldn’t have told him if he found out they were soulmates, and he wouldn’t have changed his behavior either because that would’ve alerted Alexander. That’s what he kept thinking when he went back to his room and as he searched for a lock of Aaron’s hair—which wasn’t easy. The guy kept it extremely short and he wasn’t around molting like he did. And he kept thinking about it as he went to class, and then when he met with Aaron for lunch and then when he tried to start an essay with a few weeks of advance. By the time Aaron was back in their room at six in the afternoon that Friday, it wasn’t surprising that the first words that left his mouth after Aaron greeted him were: “I need to test two people.”

Aaron blinked. “Oh. Okay. Sure.”

“You’ve done this before, right?”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Yes, I have. Don’t worry. It doesn’t take too long either. Do you have samples?”

“Yeah, yeah… uh, okay…” Alexander clapped his hands. “Okay.” He searched his backpack and handed him a small Ziploc bag with two short locks of black hair, and Aaron grabbed it without even glancing at it. He sighed and went to the little fridge they had. Then he got his thermos and a glass of water and started mixing stuff. Alexander followed his every move with his eyes, but he didn’t actually register anything. He was too nervous.

After throwing the hair inside, Aaron ran a hand through his hair and leaned back in his chair. “And now, we wait for like half an hour.”

“Okay,” Alexander nodded and didn’t move. He kept his eyes on the glass and didn’t notice Aaron going back to his bed and pretend to read a book. Before he knew it, the guy was straightening in the bed and glancing at the glass briefly.

“There you go,” he announced and went back to reading his book.

Alexander turned to look at him bewildered. “It’s done?”

“Yeah.”

Alexander wanted to bite his nails or tear his hair out. He hadn’t done either since he was fourteen. “So?”

“The liquid turning green and all the smoke isn’t enough?” Aaron snorted. “Yes, Alexander. These two people, whoever they are, are soulmates.”

Alexander blushed, swallowed with difficulty, and nodded. “Alright, I’ll just, I’ll go tell them.”

“You do that.”

Alexander bolted out of the room. He was in the guys’ apartment in record time and was surprised he hadn’t started crying yet. His stomach ached, and he could hear his heartbeat in his ears, but he was controlling his breathing and trying to keep his mind blank. Checking every street sign helped. Still, his main goal was to punch Laurens the minute he saw him, so he was in great despair when the person opening the door wasn’t him.

“Alexander?” Lafayette frowned. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he shook his head, “I’m not.”

“Hey, come on in. What’s going on?”

Alexander started pacing, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t know. Where’s Laurens? I need to yell at him. I never should’ve listened to him. I hate him. I’m so screwed. What am I supposed to do now?”

“Alexander, calm down. What happened? What did Laurens do?”

Hercules came out of the kitchen and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned his hip against the couch. “What did you do?”

Alexander stopped pacing and bit his bottom lip, staring helplessly at the pair. “Aaron and I are soulmates.”

“What?”

“You guys know that it can easily be tested at home, right?”

“Yeah,” Lafayette nodded, and Hercules turned to see him bewildered. Everyone had neglected telling him about Maria’s business, apparently.

Alexander nodded. “Yeah, I only learnt it a few days ago,” he cleared his throat. “Okay so, you just need a few stuffs and to know the right doses and that sort of thing, and Aaron does, he knows. And, uh… well, you guys know he doesn’t like soulmates, right?”

“Yes, we’ve heard,” Lafayette waved a hand, “keep going.”

“Alright, so I knew he knew who his soulmate was already. And,” he licked his lips, “Laurens told me that really, I had nothing to lose if I asked him to check two people. I mean, I didn’t have to tell him who those two people were, right? And I mean he sleeps right there, so getting his hair wasn’t hard,” he gulped. “And I did. He did it, earlier today, and we are, we are soulmates,” he ran his hands through his hair again and tried to tie it in a bun but couldn’t find anything to knot it. “Fuck. What am I supposed to do now? Should I tell him that I know?”

Hercules and Lafayette shared a look.

“What?”

“Alexander, calm down,” Lafayette licked his lips and went to sit on the couch. “Come here.”

“No,” Alexander shook his head. “No, I can’t sit, I can’t.”

Hercules winced and tried to pass an arm over his shoulders. “Alexander…”

“No!” he jumped away. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just…” he sobbed, “what if he never speaks to me again?”

Lafayette reached for him and hugged him tightly. “No, no, no, Alex, that’s not going to happen! Aaron adores you!”

Alexander wailed. “But he knew and didn’t say anything!”

“Did he start avoiding you, though?”

“No,” he sobbed, “but if he did I would’ve noticed! He didn’t change at all, so I wouldn’t find out, so I could never find out, because he doesn’t want to find his soulmate and I’ve been waiting for mine for years and I just—” he buried his face in his hands and focused on breathing for a few seconds. “I hadn’t even realized how much I wanted for it to be positive until it came out that way, but then I also realized I couldn’t do anything with that information because he wouldn’t want me to.”

“You don’t know that, Alex.”

“Yes, I do. I _know_ _him_ ,” he shook his head and took a step back. “I’m screwed.”

Thirteen blocks from there, his roommate was thinking those exact same words, but he wasn’t saying them out loud. Still, Maria had a way to notice what he was thinking because she put her glass down and paused the movie they were watching.

“What is it?” she asked, looking at him warily.

He was about to lie but caught his tongue in time. He trusted Maria. “Alexander asked me to test two people today,” he confessed.

“And he didn’t ask me? The bastard,” she chuckled, noticed Aaron’s face, and frowned. “So?”

“It was positive.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “So?”

“I believe one of the hairs was his.”

“And the other?”

He shrugged.

“Oh,” she bit her bottom lip. “So, you think he found his soulmate?”

Aaron sighed and threw his head back, resting it on the backrest. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t get you.”

“I thought I had found Alexander’s soulmate months ago.” He’d been agonizing with that information for forty-two days, and he’d never gotten a false positive before. _Never_. Could he be wrong? Or… or maybe, did Alexander know?

“So you were wrong? Or maybe the other person is who you think it is.”

“No, I,” he shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s weird.”

She rolled her eyes. “Aaron, you’re jealous.”

“What?” he frowned and straightened to glare at her. “No, I—”

“You like him, and he likes you too. Tell him,” she took a sip of her coke and studied Aaron’s expression of hopelessness. “What was his reaction when you told him it was positive? Was he happy?”

“Well,” he licked his lips and frowned, “no.”

“Then maybe he doesn’t like them.”

“But he wants to find his soulmate. He’s always wanted to.”

“But he hadn’t. Now, if he really did, and he doesn’t like them…” she shrugged. “I don’t know. I just think you should tell him.” She just thought her friend should get his shit together, but imagined Aaron wouldn’t take such a direct advise seriously.

He crossed his legs and sighed. “Tell him what?”

“Tell him that you like him!”

“I don’t know if I _like_ him,” he lied.

“Oh, honey,” she chuckled and patted his ankle. “I know you do. Come on, let’s keep watching the movie. You can stay the night.”

Aaron shook his head but got more comfortable to finish the movie. He still went back to his room once it was over. It wasn’t until he had reached his door that he decided he had made a mistake and should’ve stayed at Maria’s, but it was already too late, and if he was lucky, Alexander would be sleeping. He tried to keep Maria’s words far away from his head, and at the end, he was even luckier, because Alexander wasn’t even there, and then Aaron felt irrationally sad. For forty-two days, every moment alone with Alexander was filled with tension. For forty-two days he’d been questioning all his reasons for all the walls he’d built around himself, which never happened before. Not when he met Bellamy, not when his sister got married, never. He’d been certain that soulmates were a bad thing, for years. He’d been certain that if he ever met his soulmate, he would be able to walk away and save himself the trouble.

He’d been so certain, but how could he ever walk away from Alexander?

Alexander stayed that Friday night in the guys’ apartment, and by the time he went back to his room on Saturday, Aaron was nowhere to be seen, which was fine by Alexander. He took a shower, put on his pajamas and went to bed with his laptop, ready to watch a marathon of movies to cry without feeling like an idiot about it.

When he was reaching the end of the third movie that day, around six in the afternoon, the door opened to show Aaron looking surprised at first and then frowning in concern.

“Alexander?”

He deliberated whether he should pause the movie or not. After a few seconds, he did. “Hey…” he croaked and cleared his throat, realizing he hadn’t spoken or drunken anything in hours and his throat ached.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah…”

Aaron’s instincts were to leave the guy alone, but his heart ached at the view of his roommate wrapped in the covers of his bed with his face puffy and red. “Bullshit,” he said and went to get a glass of water for his roommate. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Alexander…” he frowned as he handed him the glass, which Alexander took and downed in one go.

“I’m okay! I’m just, I’m watching _Atonement_ and I watched _The Little Princess_ and _The Fox and The Hound_ before, you can’t blame me for looking horrible.”

Aaron snorted and tried to ignore how relieved he felt. Before turning to his bed, he pushed down the cover from the top of Alexander’s head to his shoulders and brushed his hair backwards. “Your hair is a mess. Have you been here watching movies all day?”

Alexander stared at him for a moment, blushed. “Yeah,” he whispered.

Aaron chuckled. “And did you search for a ranking of movies that would make you cry? You scared me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

Alexander bit his bottom lip. “But I have to.”

“Why?”

“I did something terrible.”

Aaron sat down on the bed with him and his stomach turned with concern. “What are you talking about?”

“It was so stupid… it was Laurens’s idea,” he sobbed. “I knew it was a bad idea, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

“Alexander, what—”

“I know.”

“What?”

“I know you and I are soulmates,” he rubbed his eyes and pressed his palm against the left one. “I’m sorry. I know you didn’t want me to know, and that you think soulmates only complicate things but I,” he sobbed, “I’m sorry.”

“Alexander, please don’t cry,” whispered Aaron.

“But it’s so unfair! I’ve wanted to meet my soulmate for years and never hoped for a specific person to actually _be_ it and when I do, they are but they don’t want anything to do with me and—”

“Wait, Alexander…”

“I’m sorry. I can stay with the guys until I get another room, if you want, or I could…”

Even though Alexander’s entire face was damp—his cheeks, nose and neck were soaked—his lips were cracked and dry, but Aaron didn’t care. He clenched to his shoulders and kissed him once, twice, thrice before Alexander responded properly and placed his hands on Aaron’s sides. However, it was over too soon. Merely a moment later Alexander was cupping his face and putting space between them.

“Wait, wait, what, I don’t understand,” he licked his lips and stared at Aaron wide-eyed and perplexed. “What’s going on?”

“Alexander,” Aaron shifted on the bed, getting closer to him, “I don’t believe soulmates make life any easier. I don’t believe that a person should love someone or commit to eternity with that someone merely because Fate or God or whatever says so.”

Alexander frowned. “I know.” Of course he knew; that was their entire problem.

Aaron held his hands. “But Alexander, I, I already like you. I don’t like you because you’re my soulmate; I do it because you’re you,” he shook his head and bit his bottom lip. “I couldn’t risk telling you because I couldn’t have you starting something with me only for that, but if you, if you _honestly_ would’ve done it _anyway_ , I…”

Alexander was the one interrupting him for a kiss after that, and they didn’t stop for a long, long time, not even for air.

Aaron hadn’t made out with someone since high school, and Alexander never had, but that didn’t matter. Aaron wouldn’t let go of Alexander’s hands, but he found a way to intertwine their fingers which made the entire process of repositioning himself straddling his roommate slightly easier. The only reason he didn’t complain when Alexander let go of one was that with a free hand he could touch so much more; his hair, his face, his side and his back, they were all his to touch and Aaron couldn’t get enough. Still, he couldn’t ignore Alexander’s slight flinch when he slid a hand under his shirt. His hand wasn’t even cold. The other one was still holding Alexander’s. He only put a few inches between them, and it took him a moment to mutter in between gasps: “Okay?”

“Yes, yes, this is _so_ okay, I’ve been wanting to do this for months.”

“Tell me what you want.”

Alexander swallowed. “Uh…”

Aaron grinned, and leaned to bite Alexander’s earlobe. “Then how about you tell me if there’s anything you don’t want.”

“That’s a little tricky. I don’t really think there’s anything I _don’t_ want.”

Aaron hummed, but didn’t move away from Alexander’s ear. He couldn’t see his face clearly, but he could feel him shiver. “Really? Then,” he licked his lips and got even closer, “if I were to ask you to go to a store and get me ice cream right now…”

Alexander grabbed Aaron’s shoulders and pushed him away abruptly, glaring. “You better be about to suggest something sexy because if you’re really messing with me right now, it’s not funny.”

Aaron tried to sigh, but his laughter disrupted the release of air. “I just think people shouldn’t do things they’re not comfortable talking about. If you can’t say it, then you shouldn’t do it.” He meant it. No matter how adorable Alexander’s blush was, they barely had admitted their feelings for each other minutes ago, and he knew Alexander didn’t have any experience. Still, it was extremely difficult to keep himself from kissing the pout away from his lips.

“That’s not fair.”

“Alexander…”

“I’m a horny college kid with the guy I’ve been drooling over for months sitting in my lap, and you’re telling me what, that I’m not ready or something? I might not have any experience, but I’ve read and seen enough porn to know what I’m doing.” He placed his hands gently but firmly on Aaron’s hips, and kissed his jaw. “Now I genuinely cannot think of anything I wouldn’t like doing to you, Aaron Burr. The question is, will you let me?”

Aaron glanced awkwardly towards their window, where the sun still reached it. “It’s barely over six pm.”

Alexander chuckled. “That’s good. It means I could still run to a store for that ice cream… or lube.”

“Yes,” Aaron swallowed. He was reluctant to get off Alexander’s lap though. “You do that.”

“Which one?”

Aaron smirked and leaned to drop one final kiss on Alexander’s lips before getting up. It ended up turning into more than one, of course, but he eventually managed to, unceremoniously falling out of the bed. Alexander gasped and hurried to see if he was alright, but Aaron’s laughter comforted him. He then said in between giggles: “Both. Chocolate, please.”

Alexander snorted. “I know.” He literally _ran_ to the store then, but he was sure it was worth it. He hoped they would have a long, long night, with very little conversation. He knew they would need to have a long conversation eventually—or maybe not that long. He just wanted to understand a little bit better all of Aaron’s fears, but that would take time. Still, he was optimistic, because they, they were meant to be, and even without knowing, he had already told Aaron exactly what he needed to hear to convince him to give it a try, and he was pretty proud of himself because of it. The cashier gave him an odd look given his particular mix of products, and he giggled.

“My soulmate really likes ice cream,” he explained, and the girl laughed with him.

His soulmate.

He knew what his soulmate liked.

He had found his soulmate, and his soulmate was waiting for him, in their room, happy, and it was _Aaron_. Aaron, who could draw everything he saw, looked gorgeous in a suit and had convinced him to organize his desk, was the person God had made especially for him. Aaron, who had taught him how to dance and gave him the most amazing, thoughtful gifts, who had dreaded the very concept of soulmates, was willing to give it a try because he admitted that… well, that he would’ve done the same. If they hadn’t been soulmates and Aaron had asked him out, Alexander would’ve made an exception for him, because how could he say no to Aaron? To his roommate, the guy that could sleep through a zombie attack and had seen every movie ever made? Alexander was happy he had found his soulmate, but he was overall thrilled because it was Aaron.

What could’ve made more obvious how perfect their union was, that the fact that they were each other’s exceptions?

The next day, Alexander was woken by his phone loudly rattling against his bedside table, and seriously considered ignoring it in favor of staying a little longer cuddling with Aaron, who was sleeping soundly, but it kept rattling incessantly, and no matter how tightly he closed his eyes, he couldn’t go back to sleep. His sleepy mind hoped for ear plugs just as he answered the call.

“ _Alex? Hey, I’m so sorry man, Lafayette told me what happened and I tried calling last night but you didn’t answer and—_ ”

“John,” he slurred and tried to straighten on the bed, but Aaron made it difficult, “John, it’s okay man, relax,” he rubbed his eyes with the hand that was holding the phone, since the other one was buried under Aaron. “Everything’s okay.”

“ _I am so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking when I convinced you of it. I mean, I genuinely thought you were, but I wasn’t thinking of—_ ”

“Is that Laurens?” mumbled Aaron without opening his eyes.

Alexander chuckled. “Yeah, it’s him.”

“ _Alexander?_ ”

Aaron grabbed Alexander’s phone and growled: “Goddamn it Laurens, who calls so early on a Sunday? Get lost,” and hung up.

Obviously, the phone shortly started ringing again, and didn’t seem like it would stop, so Aaron _turned it off_. “If my phone starts ringing you’re allowed to throw it out the window,” he slurred and hugged Alexander, burying his face on his chest. In less than ten seconds, he was fast asleep again.

“Guys, guys, guys, guys…!” Laurens repeatedly hit Lafayette’s thigh as he tried dialing again.

“Dude,” Lafayette grabbed his hand and pushed it against Laurens’s own thigh, “stop. What happened? How was he?”

“He was _fine_!”

“What?” Hercules frowned. “Was he high or something? Yesterday he was destroyed. I baked him some cookies. Do you think it’s a good time for all of us to go there?”

Laurens chuckled and shook his head. The phone had been _turned off_. “No dude. We cannot get anywhere near that place. Are you nuts?”

“Uh, John? I believe you’re letting out some information here…” muttered Lafayette, narrowing his eyes and studying Laurens’s grinning face.

“Aaron hung up the phone, guys. He grabbed it and told me to get lost,” he chuckled. “And now they turned off the phone. I don’t know you guys, but I think we shouldn’t go around them for a while.”

“Well,” Hercules covered his mouth with a hand and giggled, “I guess he told Aaron that he knows.”

Lafayette sent a quick text and went to get his jacket and backpack.

“Who did you text?”

“James and Maria. I imagine one of them told Alexander that Aaron knew, and I don’t have Aaron’s number.”

“Dude. I do.”

“I barely slept last night. They owe us.”

They went downstairs a few minutes later and everybody was already there—and by everybody, Lafayette meant _everybody_.

“Whoever called you?” he asked Angelica, but smiled ruefully and hugged her for a greeting. Angelica pointed with a thumb at her sister, holding Maria’s hand.

“What’s the emergency?” asked Thomas with narrowed eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

Hercules turned to look at his boyfriend with an arched eyebrow. “You said there was an emergency?”

Lafayette shrugged. “I said something happened to Aaron and we all needed to talk.”

“Dude,” Laurens chuckled and shook his head. “Come on,” he nodded towards a table, “let’s sit and have breakfast. I’ll need coffee for this.”

“You got me out of bed on a Sunday at eight in the morning. There’s no time for coffee. If there’s no emergency, I’ll go back to bed.”

James rolled his eyes and led him by the hand to the table. “We too will want some coffee, if that’s okay?”

Hercules chuckled and nodded.

Maria ran her free hand through her hair and huffed. “But what happened? Why exactly did you call us here?” She smiled tenderly at Eliza as they sat together, while the latter massaged the space between her shoulder blades.

“Did you try calling Aaron?” asked John.

They all nodded, sobering.

“He didn’t answer, huh?” John smirked.

“The phone got turned off,” said Maria, biting her bottom lip. “I wouldn’t have worried if he simply hadn’t answered because he’s such a heavy sleeper, but he turned it off.”

Lafayette nodded. “You guys knew that Aaron knew who his soulmate was?”

James and Thomas nodded, but Maria frowned.

“Okay—”

“We don’t really know what exactly happened last night,” hurried to clarify Laurens, “just that Alexander left our apartment yesterday morning looking like a mess after he cried all night, but when I called to try to apologize—”

“Why did you have to apologize?” inquired Eliza, resting and elbow on the table and leaning forward.

John licked his lips and ran a hand through his hair. To stall, he decided to redo his ponytail. “Reasons.”

“Laurens convinced Alexander to get tested.”

“With you?”

Laurens snorted. “No, with _Aaron_.”

Thomas and James shared an alarmed look. “And?” asked Thomas, hunching slightly. James grabbed his hand and squeezed a little too tight.

“And, it came out positive, of course.”

“Alexander was _destroyed_ ,” said Hercules, absentmindedly passing an arm over Lafayette’s shoulders.

“But he adores Aaron,” said Eliza, frowning. “He’s been crushing on him for a while. And he’s always wanted to find his soulmate.”

“Yes, that’s what _he_ has always wanted.”

“Aaron is anti-soulmates,” explained Maria, and then she covered her mouth with a hand. “Poor Alexander.”

John nodded. “So you guys know that I stayed late on Friday finishing the banners for the next rally and wasn’t back until late yesterday. When I arrived, Lafayette and Hercules here blamed me for the whole thing and said I was mean and a terrible friend so logically, I tried calling Alex, but he didn’t answer. I figured he was sleeping, since it was pretty late, but then I tried calling this morning,” he smirked, “and he told me he was fine. He said everything was okay, he _laughed_ , and then Aaron grabbed the phone, told me to get lost, and hung up. When I tried calling again he _turned off_ Alexander’s phone!”

“Well,” Angelica licked her lips, “that could mean anything. I mean, they’re roommates…”

“Have you ever tried waking Aaron up?” asked James, then shook his head. “For him to get bothered by that call he was either awake and they had been talking, or he’d been sleeping _with_ Alexander.”

“They could have reached an agreement,” reasoned Thomas, “though I doubt it. So what, that happened and you just decided to get us all out of bed to go knock on their door and see if they’re in fact making out?”

John rolled his eyes. “Even though that would be really funny—”

“No,” interrupted Lafayette, shaking a finger, “no, but—”

“I think Gil here wanted to gossip, really,” said Hercules. “Also, I had made Alexander cookies so he would feel better, but I don’t think he’ll need them now. Anybody want some?”

Everybody wanted cookies, obviously. Hercules’s cookies were the best, and they all agreed as long they didn’t mention it to the new couple, it wouldn’t hurt them, as opposed to getting one or two each as a consolation prize—that they didn’t deserve. Life was like that sometimes; they got together with the love of their lives but missed on Hercules’s extraordinary cookies. Everyone agreed that at least Aaron probably would’ve approved their logic. Probably. But really, who could know what Aaron was thinking? Twenty-four hours earlier pretty much everyone aware of the fact that they were soulmates thought there was no chance for them to get together. Even Alexander had been sure of it. He’d been _certain_.

Aaron had been certain for most of his life, but everything went to hell forty-four days ago, and he was so satisfied with the results he for once had no interest in overanalyzing the situation. Waking up on top of Alexander was probably the best way to wake up there was, and any thoughts of what that meant or for how long that was supposed to last had no business screwing his happiness. There would be time to stress over it later, but on that Sunday morning, he simply breathed in the comfort and affection.

He only realized by noon that his phone had been oddly quiet. He gasped. “Did you turn off my phone?”

Alexander arched his eyebrows. “I figured that was better than throwing it out the window.”

Aaron bit the inside of his cheek but grinned anyway. “Yeah, I guess.” He sighed. “But I’ll have to turn it on now. I always hate that. It’s harder to ignore notifications when they all come together and—” the moment he turned it on, it started ringing with an incoming call.

“ _Oh, guys, he answered!_ ”

He frowned. “Maria?”

“ _Hello_ ,” she giggled. “ _How are you?_ ”

“Uh,” he cleared his throat, “fine? And you?”

“ _Oh, I’m wonderful! And Alexander? Is he there?_ ”

Aaron gulped. “Oh god. Did I actually hang up on Laurens this morning?”

He heard laughter from both sides of the telephone. He glared at the party that could actually see him, who was nodding with a huge beam. Aaron sighed. “Yes, Alexander is here.”

Just as he put the phone in speaker, he heard the muffled voice of Eliza saying: “ _Ask him if he’s wearing any clothes!_ ”

Alexander cackled, and Aaron groaned. “Jesus, what are you, middle schoolers? He’s dressed, Eliza.”

“But I wasn’t wearing any clothes until like, ten minutes ago,” informed Alexander, smirking.

“ _I really didn’t need that information,_ ” said Jefferson.

“ _The entire universe needed that information,_ ” replied Angelica. “ _Get ready. We’re all having lunch together._ ”

Alexander groaned. “Why? Can’t we meet you guys like, tomorrow? Or the day after?”

“ _Alexander, we have class tomorrow. Remember the look Washington gave you on Thursday? You want to skip another lecture?_ ”

Alexander shivered. “I could make an effort to go to class. That doesn’t mean I’ll do it to see you guys, I already see your ugly faces every day.”

“ _You don’t see mine!_ ” argued Eliza. “ _And I leave early tomorrow._ ”

Aaron, who’d been resting his head on Alexander’s shoulder, turned so he could drop a kiss on him. “Okay. We’ll meet you guys in two hours.” He hung up right after Alexander’s horrified gasp. He too was tempted of staying in bed all day, but he also wanted to see his friends.

Sure, he had no idea Maria now knew he hadn’t told her of his discovery, or that Thomas and James had many questions that could no longer stay unanswered. They were all very happy for him, yes, but they were also very much ruthless when it came to interrogations if they believed they had earned answers. Perhaps, if he would’ve known what was awaiting him at Hercules’s place, he would’ve stayed in.

Perhaps.

But he didn’t, and later he would think that maybe, if just to walk down the street holding Alexander’s hand, it had all been worth it.


	7. Sleeping ~partners~ patterns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I bet you all thought we were reaching the end? Hahahahaha  
> It's so weird to finally be posting some stuff that was written even before most of what's already published. I mean, this chapter's title was the whole reason I started naming chapters! (Yes, that awful pun is the one to blame, I'm so sorry)  
> I'm sorry it took me so long, but school was... well, to those who care, we had some sort of strike I guess? And lost like, two months of classes, so by the time I started publishing this thing, I had a little over a month for mid-terms, classes, and finals. It was... a massacre, honestly. But somehow I survived! And then I didn't have any vacations but hey, at least Halloween is getting closer, right? Now that the new semester started, I can go back to writing and living outside of the library, if I remember how.  
> Anyway, enjoy!

During the reading period, Alexander turned into a zombie like was his habit, and Aaron kept his healthy schedule of studying in the day and sleeping during the night, which after three or four days actually managed to convince Alexander to join him for a few hours, which was exactly what they both needed, though for different reasons. Even though there were still three weeks left for the semester to be over, Aaron couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen then.

Going home wasn’t something he really wanted to do, but summer break wasn’t the same as all the other holidays they had, and he couldn’t stay on campus. He liked it there, and understood why 97% of students stayed the entire time they were in Princeton. He would’ve liked that, being Alexander’s roommate for other three years sounded nice. However, his uncle had already dropped enough hints about the apartment they were going to get for him to know that there wasn’t a slight chance for it to happen. He hoped he could convince his uncle to pick his own place when they eventually got him an apartment, but he wasn’t very optimistic. Unless he said that he intended to live there with his soulmate. Perhaps, if he said such a thing, they’d let him go alone with Alexander. He sighed. It was nice to imagine that his life would become easier now, but he knew that wasn’t the case. Sally had been naïve enough to expect everything would get better and then couldn’t stand it when it didn’t. He wouldn’t make the same mistake.

But he was happy, anyway.

For two months, he’d been immensely happy. He was happy every morning when he woke up next to Alexander, and he would stay that way all day long knowing that he could text or call whenever he had something to say and Alexander would answer. He was happy pretending all fears were forgotten, and he was happy whenever he saw that very same happiness in Alexander’s eyes. He was happy just lying on top of him and he was happy whenever they disagreed, argued, and still felt like it was all worth it. He was happy, and he was afraid he wouldn’t be that happy for three full months. Three full months in which he would go back to a house where the sun never seemed to warm the inside, where all smiles were fake, and all tears were as well. Three full months in which he would have to go around listening to people mourning the dead like they cared the rest of the time, when he wasn’t there to remind them of those that were gone and weren’t missed by anyone else. It was, if anything, a desolating prospect. But he wanted to make the best of the time he had left with his friends, and the first Saturday after all their exams were over, they finally got all together at Hercules’s place.

“What are you guys doing this summer? Is anybody staying in town?” asked Laurens, who still was trying to find an excuse to not go home and had been for the last month. The exchange students were gone, the creepy roommate was officially no longer his roommate; it was a time to celebrate and be comfortable in Princeton for once!

Lafayette shook his head. “I’m sorry man, but I’m taking Hercules with me to France this year.”

Angelica groaned. “No! What are we going to do without his food?”

“I thought your family went to Europe during vacation?”

“Yeah,” nodded Eliza, “but we go for a month or so. We still spend two months in town. If you want to stay in our house…”

“I don’t understand why you don’t want to go to your own house,” said Jefferson, frowning. “I mean, your father is okay with you studying art, right?”

Laurens crossed his arms over his chest and bit the inside of his cheek.

“Whatever reason he has, it’s none of our business,” said Maria, bumping her shoulder with John’s and glaring at Thomas.

“Alexander, please tell me you’re staying.”

Alexander seemed surprised. “Well, I,” he licked his lips, “I haven’t really thought about it, to be honest.”

Maria rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, Alexander surly is going to Connecticut with Aaron, right?”

Alexander felt everybody’s eyes, including Aaron’s, fall on him.

“We haven’t really talked about it?” he mumbled weakly.

Maria sighed. “Of course you haven’t. Aaron wants you to, you probably want to go,” she shrugged. “What’s there to talk about?”

Well, she wasn’t exactly wrong, but they still needed to talk about it. They were the first ones to leave not much later, and in the way back to their dorm, they awkwardly avoided the subject, but once there, it was a little harder to ignore it, with Aaron’s things already packed.

Alexander swallowed and scratched the back of his head. “Hey, if you don’t really want me to go—”

“No!” shouted Aaron with a panicky look in his eyes. “No, I want you to, I really, _really_ want you to, but…” he rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “My aunt and uncle, they, they’re not… nice. Even to me, they…” he licked his lips, “that house doesn’t feel… mine. I’m just a guest there.”

“So they might not want me to go?”

“No,” Aaron snorted, “they probably would love to hear that you’re coming, but…”

Alexander frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“They’re terrible people, and we’d be there for three months. I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable for three months just because I—”

“Hey, no, no,” Alexander cupped his face and kissed him softly. “No, don’t worry about that. Between staying alone in Hercules’s place thinking of you, especially now, that I’ll be thinking of you being uncomfortable for three months, and being there with you… that’s not really a choice, baby. I want to go, I do.”

In the two months they’d been together, Alexander had realized it was a big deal for Aaron to be sure that Alexander meant everything he said, and he wanted to know all the reasons he had to do stuff too, which had brought them a few problems on the first weeks because apparently, “ _It’ll make you happy_ ” it’s not a good reason to do _anything_ —not even for getting an extra coffee or pick a sunnier table in the library. They talked a lot, and though he knew there were a lot of things he still didn’t know about Aaron, he also knew and understood enough to know what actions to question and which simply ignore—or, in this case, work on. He had gotten very good at swearing earnestly. He never had noticed how little one used “ _I want to_ ” for a reason, even when it was the truth, but now he was an expert and the response he usually got when he said that was more than satisfying.

They kissed languidly for a few minutes until Aaron started chuckling.

“Oh, I should call my uncle to let him know you’re coming. He’s going to be ecstatic.”

“You do that. When are we leaving?”

Aaron hummed. “He must know that the exams are over, so normally I’d leave on Monday, but…” he sighed. “I’ll call him tomorrow.”

“Okay. But why?”

“Because if I call him telling him that I’m bringing my soulmate over he’s going to ask us to go right away.”

Alexander chuckled. “So they won’t be expecting it, huh?”

“Of course not. They know I didn’t want to find my soulmate. They’re going to be shocked.”

“You haven’t told them about us?”

“Of course I haven’t. They would’ve wanted to meet you.”

Alexander had to bite his tongue to stop himself from asking why that would’ve been such a bad thing. He knew there still were a lot of things he didn’t exactly understand about Aaron’s house—even when he’d grown as a guest, he couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like to be in said position even younger. “They like soulmates, right?”

Aaron nodded. “They are, and so were my grandparents, and my parents… it’s like they ignore there’s a large part of the population that never find them. I don’t think they ever questioned it, you know?”

Alexander hoped his displeasure didn’t show on his face. Judging by Aaron’s laughter, it did.

“I told you they’re terrible people. Are you sure you want to come?”

“Are you sure you want me to go?”

“Yes.”

Alexander gasped, hugged his soulmate by the waist, and jumped on his bed. “Then yes!” He showered him with kisses and slid his hands under his shirt.

Aaron hissed. “Your hands are cold!”

“Sorry,” mumbled he, but didn’t stop. They would get warmer soon enough. “Let’s be loud tonight, babe. Unless you won’t mind your aunt and uncle hearing us?”

Aaron pushed him away with a horrified grimace. “Sweet Jesus, Alexander, don’t ever mention my aunt and uncle while you’re unbuckling my pants!”

Alexander chuckled and quickly agreed. He probably wouldn’t list that in the things they had in common though. He probably had that in common with a large part of the world’s population—or so he hoped, but people were weird. Still, he didn’t care about their kinks. The only kinks he was curious about were Aaron’s, and the idea of spending three months in the place Aaron had grown in, sleeping in his bed—his queen sized bed!—made him ecstatic, and he made sure to tell as well as he could without actually taking his lips off Aaron’s skin. He didn’t like to leave things unsaid between them. Whenever they left things unsaid, one or both ended up overthinking, stressing or suffering over inexistent problems and he tried to avoid that as much as he could, which according to his friend and main counselor, the human equivalent of a cinnamon roll, Eliza Schuyler, was the key to a healthy relationship.

Still, they weren’t the only ones that left Hercules’s place with many things unsaid hanging in the air, but Eliza was a lot braver that they had been, and as they walked, hand in hand, she asked: “What are you planning on doing this summer?”

Maria bit her bottom lip and shrugged.

“I was thinking… perhaps you could stay in my house.”

Maria’s eyes widened, and she searched for Eliza’s face to try to read it. “What?”

Eliza shrugged and looked away, blushing slightly. “Why not? My parents know about you. They want to meet you. I mean, I get it if you’d rather going somewhere else, but…”

“No.”

Eliza’s face fell. “No?”

“No,” she squeezed her hand, “there’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Eliza.”

“Oh,” she covered her mouth with her free hand and giggled. “That’s great, then. I’ll tell my parents tonight.”

“But when are you leaving?”

“I believe we have tickets for July, but I’m not sure.”

“Okay,” Maria nodded. “Tomorrow morning I have to get up early to go to Thomas and James’s place and pick up the keys, but…”

“I’m still staying with you tonight, of course.”

“Great,” Maria grinned, and hurried the pace to reach her bedroom sooner.

That Saturday night, like every end of semester, was a great night for everyone. Hercules and Lafayette were smart and left the packing for the day after, John got to keep George in his room until they left for France, and Thomas and James slept soundly like they did most days, the way people who had known since mid-terms that they had passed all their classes did.

The morning after, however, was not that great. Stress is this terrible thing that doesn’t forgive anyone, not even college students that could swear they know stress so well they’re practically roommates. Packing was always an irritating affair—picking what to take and trying to place it all in suitcases and bags was not easy, especially when not done alone.

“Thomas, you can get all your hair products in Virginia,” would reason James, and then his soulmate would say: “You don’t _know_ that, James! What if they’re sold out?”

Or a little further away, Hercules would be stressing over the list of things that are allowed on the plane and the exact weigh of all his bags while Gilbert carelessly ate an apple, distractedly and messily throwing clothes and books in his suitcase.

“Baby, we’re not taking anything forbidden, believe me. Just wait until we pass the police to buy a water bottle and we’ll be fine.”

“How can you be so sure? You haven’t even looked at my bag! Or this list! Have you _ever_ read this list?”

Definitely a stressful affair, no doubt.

But Alexander, oh, Alexander had been eating his nails even before he started packing. He’d needed to clear the room anyway, so most of his things were already packed. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was Aaron, delaying _the_ phone call.

First, he’d said: “At least let’s eat breakfast before, okay?” and Alexander had agreed, obviously. But then, once they were done eating, he’d checked the time in his phone and had said: “They’re probably watching the news now, I’ll wait until they’re over.”

Alexander had no idea what channel was passing news at that time nor when they would be over—he hadn’t watched TV in _years,_ God bless the internet, streaming and illegal downloads—but he’d nodded and invited his soulmate to watch a movie while they waited. Then the movie had been over, and Aaron had started asking about lunch and what they should get, and Alexander had exploded.

“When are you going to call them?”

Aaron’s smile disappeared, and he lied back in his bed, staring at the ceiling. “How about, never? When do we have to clear the room?”

“Soon.”

Aaron sighed and extended an arm, wiggling his fingers. “Give me my phone.”

Alexander did, though his hands had gotten all sweaty all of a sudden and he almost dropped it. The seconds it took for Aaron’s uncle to pick up the phone were more stressful than the days before finals’ scores.

“Uncle? Hey, yeah, it’s me. I don’t know, hey…” he cleared his throat, “I was calling because, well, I was wondering if I could, if I could take someone with me this summer? Yes. Yes, his name is Alexander and he… he’s my soulmate. Okay. Yeah, I think we can. I’ll call you when I know. Okay, bye.” He hung up and sighed.

“So?”

“So?” Aaron snorted. “You have your bags ready, right? We’re expected there tonight.” Which meant they still had several hours before they had to take a train, but Aaron was exhausted already.

“Yes, don’t worry.” His words were as much for Aaron as they were for him. If meeting ‘the parents’ was always supposed to be difficult and intimidating, meeting the mean-conservative-old-and-rich aunt and uncle should be…

He shivered, and Aaron didn’t laugh at him, which was a bad sign.

Still, Alexander found a way to make of the train ride something pleasant. They listened to music, talked, argued, and even played a couple of ridiculous games such as ’20 questions’, ‘I see I see’, and ‘Never have I ever’. After a few rounds, Aaron made him promise they would never play that game again in public transportation—or in any place where strangers could listen, actually. Alexander, not nearly as blushed as Aaron, agreed.

As soon as they stepped down the train, however, the once playful atmosphere turned tense again. In the station, by a large fountain, was a couple dressed like the people Alexander only had seen on TV. The shoes, the slacks, the dress, the jewels, everything yelled money in that sober way that only people born with it can pull off. He was probably bald under the nice hat, and she was taller than him. Aaron’s grip in his hand almost made Alexander yelp in pain, but he managed to keep a nervous smile on his face as he was dragged towards them. When they were closer, he realized the woman wasn’t only taller than Aaron’s uncle. She was taller than everyone. She was probably taller than Jefferson.

“Hello.”

Aaron’s greeting was polite and nothing more, which left Alexander a little lost. He waved the hand that hadn’t been injured by his soulmate and smiled as brightly as he could.

“Oh, you must be Alexander!” said the bald guy, the uncle, Timothy Edwards.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you!” said the giant woman, the aunt, Rhoda Edwards.

They started their way to the house in a car driven by a man they merely introduced as Harry in between the never-ending torrent of words: “We’ve been so worried all these years with Aaron’s stubbornness…”

“But we probably shouldn’t have worried.”

“Still, we’re so glad he found you!”

Even if Alexander hadn’t been as charming as he was, they still would’ve loved him, just because he was Aaron’s soulmate and they had spent too many years grinding their teeth whenever he insisted that he had no interest in finding it. Nevertheless, Alexander clearly did his best; he was polite and helpful and didn’t skimp in details regarding his plans for the future.

“You should’ve told us he wanted to be a lawyer! Such a reliable and ambitious young man!” had said delighted his aunt the minute Alexander left them to use the bathroom.

Her husband had nodded along and added: “I feel calmer already now that I know he’s there with you!”

Aaron had been calmer when he thought of Alexander staying there with him instead of being all alone. He hadn’t thought of all the times Alexander would be gone and he’d need to face all the praises and hurting comments he could hardly tolerate. The moment Alexander reappeared, he stood up and said: “Okay, today’s been a long day, so I hope you don’t mind that we go to sleep so early.”

“Oh, of course not!”

“You go rest, boys, and we’ll see you in the morning.”

If Alexander was surprised by his abruptness, he didn’t show. In fact he seemed delighted to be led to Aaron’s bedroom. Sure, they had been living together ever since they met, but there was a different sort of intimacy in being inside Aaron’s childhood room. Also, there was more space, and Alexander would have no excuse to escape.

Alexander loved sleeping with Aaron, but said he was the human equivalent of an octopus and many nights he ended going back to his bed around four in the morning in fear of dying from suffocation. When he’d told him that, he’d said he was exaggerating, of course. However, the moment they were in bed, with Aaron lying on top of him, he realized it didn’t matter how big the bed was. He still couldn’t escape. He giggled, since the only other thing he could do was cry, and really, he liked being hugged, and he imagined during winter it would be very practical.

The problem was that right then, it wasn’t winter. “Oh, no,” he whined.

Aaron purred. “Shut up. You love it.”

Alexander saw no point in arguing, so he laughed cheerfully and passed his own arms around his soulmate. He was tired, and with Aaron by his side, he fell asleep almost immediately. Around ten hours later, he opened his eyes to the sing of birds outside his window, a warm body on top of him, and all the covers on the floor, which he deduced had been his doing. Amazingly, he was not sweaty, and he considered it a flawless night. Carefully, he straightened and stretched his arms over his head, considering if he should try to wake Aaron up or if it would be okay if he went to fetch breakfast alone, when Aaron suddenly jolted awake next to him, breathing heavily.

“Aaron? Baby, what’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?”

Aaron stared at him visibly confused for a moment before understanding seemed to dawn on him. He shook his head and gave him a tight smile. “No, don’t worry. How’d you sleep?”

Alexander frowned but didn’t insist. He dropped a peck on his soulmate’s lips instead. “The same way I always do when I’m with you,” he smiled, and almost fearfully, asked: “And you?”

Aaron’s already tight smile turned even more strained. “Fine,” he lied anyway, even when he knew it was pointless.

He’d hoped that by having Alexander with him, he would be able to sleep like he did in school, but he should’ve known that was wishful thinking. Alexander’s presence couldn’t be enough to drown out the fear of overstepping, the apprehension, the memories. All the things that kept him constantly on his toes… it was such a difference, that whenever he slept away from that house, nothing could wake him.

“Do you want to stay here while I get something for breakfast, or you want to go downstairs? I’ll warn you my aunt and uncle will probably be there.”

“What would you do if you were alone?”

Aaron smiled dejectedly. “But I’m not alone.”

“I don’t want to interfere with your routine and habits.”

Oh, but Aaron’s routine and habits were terrible. He wanted Alexander to interfere. He sighed. “I would go and stay to eat with them.”

Alexander nodded. “Then that’s what I want to do.”

“Fine,” Aaron stood up and went to check his unpacked bag. “But get dressed.”

Alexander smirked and tilted his head to the side, enjoying the view of Aaron bended over. “Believe me, I wouldn’t dream of meeting your aunt and uncle looking like this.”

Aaron turned to face him and snorted. “Please tell me you brought a hairbrush.”

Alexander gasped indignantly. “Of course I did!” Later, as he inspected himself in the mirror while his arm battled with his hair, he could admit to himself Aaron’s worry had been more than justified, but soon enough, they were going downstairs, looking more than decent, if he could say.

Still, when they entered the kitchen, Rhoda pursed her lips, and Aaron paled.

“What is it?” he asked.

She ran her eyes over him. “I don’t like that shirt. When did you get it?”

Alexander had been with Aaron when he bought that shirt. He had liked it right away but had hesitated before buying it. Alexander liked it; the short tight sleeves showed off his biceps and the color—a strong yellow—brought out his eyes.

“I’m not sure. Four months ago, I think.”

Wrong. Aaron had great memory and it only had been last month.

She clicked her tongue. “Well. You may not return it, but you can at least change today.”

Aaron nodded and hurried upstairs without another word.

Alexander frowned. Aaron had told him that his aunt and uncle made him feel like a guest, but he’d thought that meant they had been distant, and the couple certainly didn’t act that way. No, they were involved in every aspect of Aaron’s day, questioning what he wore, what he ate, even whatever he did to waste time. Not that he really was _allowed_ to waste time, if the way he flinched whenever his aunt and uncle seemed even slightly displeased with his answer whenever he commented something that wasn’t directly connected to school was any indicator.

He had ignored too much of Aaron’s metaphor, underestimated it, really.

Guests usually don’t know how their host will react, so they’re usually shy. They have to follow rules and curfews they normally wouldn’t and try not to show any discomfort in order to be polite and grateful. To be a guest is a temporary thing, where a person stays outside of their comfort zone and does a lot just to please others, and the reasons to be one can vary, but there’s usually some kind of compensation at the end. Not only there was no compensation in Aaron’s stay there, but it hadn’t been just a temporary thing either. Aaron had _grown_ there.

But Aaron came back down wearing a different shirt and everyone acted like it was perfectly normal and sat down to eat.

“Tapping is coming for lunch,” informed his uncle, Timothy.

“Tapping?”

“Aaron never mentioned him? He was his sister’s soulmate.”

“She passed three years ago.”

“It was such a terrible accident,” said Rhoda, shaking her head. “Poor Sally, she was so young.”

“And she was so happy,” added Timothy. “She had found her soulmate and had gotten married just two months prior.”

Alexander was confused but decided he would ask Aaron when they were alone. Still, he glanced at him and that was all he needed to know they were blatantly lying. Aaron’s jaw was clenched, and so were his fists. Alexander placed a comforting hand on his thigh and tried to find an excuse to take him upstairs. He didn’t have enough time though, for Tapping arrived just then.

Tapping Reeve was… not what Alexander had been expecting. He clearly was a man in despair; his clothes though expensive were wrinkled and poorly combined, his messy hair was too long for his hairstyle, there were bags under his eyes and the way he acted and talked gave Alexander the impression he had been drinking for breakfast. No one in the house was surprised by his looks or behavior, and Alexander concluded it would be a long summer, especially if the guy came often, for he didn’t leave until the sun was already down.

During dinner, Alexander wasn’t surprised the man was still the main topic of conversation.

“It honestly surprises me he’s lasted so long,” admitted Rhoda, playing with her fork that had a roasted potato pinched.

Ah, the sadness of the lonely soul would surely take Tapping Reeve soon. ‘ _That sounds way better than to say alcohol will_ ’, thought Alexander.

Timothy nodded. “He’s not strong. He’s been destroying himself ever since it happened.”

“Did we tell you he lost his job last month?”

Aaron didn’t raise his eyes from his plate. He hadn’t eaten yet but had chopped all the meat. “Yes.”

She sighed. “Poor boy. He was in such a good place when we met him.”

“How did you find out he was Sally’s soulmate?”

“Rhoda had a hunch,” said Timothy as he stole half of Aaron’s steak. “She met him during a, what was it? How’d you call it?”

She rolled her eyes. “The Christmas charity ball. Jesus, Tim, pay attention. Our church organizes it every year.”

“And we give a lot of money every year, dear, it’s alright if I don’t remember the name.”

“I’m very tired,” interrupted Aaron.

“Oh, yes dear, of course, you can go.”

Alexander stood up with him without asking for permission. Instead, he nodded with a smile, and said goodnight on his way upstairs.

Once inside Aaron’s room, Alexander bit his bottom lip. “Would you like having a HSM marathon?” he inquired shyly while his soulmate changed his clothes.

Aaron chuckled with his shirt over his face. “Yes, please.”

Alexander hoped his relief didn’t show on his face, but he was happy he was genuinely helping Aaron by being around, and he simply hoped the second morning would be better.

But staying at your in-laws was supposed to be awkward the first time, even when you knew them.

Hercules, for example, 3539 miles away, had known the Lafayette family for years. He’d walked their dogs every week for years, but that didn’t make his stay in their house in France any easier. For starters, he wasn’t fluent in French, which was the language everyone around him spoke at all times, except during meals when they would make an effort to include him in the conversation. They were nice people, but he felt like he was intruding half the time. If he had to be honest, he might have been predisposed to feel that way. He’d been nervous since the moment he closed the door of his house to go to the airport, but Gilbert had been so happy…

The last time he’d seen Gilbert’s father it had been in the airport, and that had been a weird exchange. He’d gone there to drive Gilbert and George so they could say goodbye, but somewhat ended up promising to Mr. Lafayette that he would take care of his dog in a way that made pretty obvious he wasn’t talking about the dog at all. Still, he considered he’d kept his word. Now whether the man would agree or not, he couldn’t be sure, and Gilbert’s optimism wasn’t exactly reassuring. He insisted they were all happy to hear he was going, but he wouldn’t believe it until he saw them all genuinely happy, though if they were as good actors as Gilbert, he wouldn’t be convinced even then. He just wished George could’ve been with them in their seats instead of in a box. If there was anyone more worried than him it was probably that dog. He didn’t like being away from Gilbert for too long. When he met them in Paris, though, the dog was ecstatic. Hercules didn’t think the dog had any notion of where they were, but maybe the air was different, or maybe he just had been scared he wouldn’t see them again. Dogs had good memories, but they cared about people the most. He knew that, and yet he hadn’t been expecting that the moment he stepped inside Gilbert’s house, three huge dogs would jump him. He chuckled delighted as he petted them. One does not simply walk dogs every week for over four years and then just forget about them. Hercules had missed them just as much as they had missed him.

Gilbert had chuckled as his father kneeled on the floor to greet George, completely ignoring his son and Hercules for a moment, but then caught them in a tight embrace. Hercules didn’t feel intimidated at all.

In South Carolina, John wasn’t at his in-laws, but he was just as uncomfortable with the mere idea of opening the front door. The last time he’d seen his father, he’d told him he wanted to be a painter, and Henry had done his best to be supportive. He had tried. He just didn’t quite succeed.

However, the knot in his stomach lessened when somebody else opened the door for him, from the inside, and his sister Martha hugged him tightly. “I’m so glad to see you! It’s been too long. You should’ve come for thanksgiving, and Christmas!”

John rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. “Sorry. I’ll try next year, I promise.”

She hummed and placed her hands on her hips. “I hope so. Father feels guilty. But how are you doing? Do you like it there? Did you make good friends?”

“Yeah,” he grinned, “I did. They’re all awesome.”

“That’s good,” she smiled. “Come on, Mr. Painter. I want you to make me a painting for my bedroom.”

As far as greetings were, that one wasn’t so bad. But greetings, though they felt like a big deal, were only the beginning. Sure, good impressions helped, and bad starts were a terrible omen, but summer break was a long, long time, where days were long and relatives, relatives were curious by nature, most of the time.

Not that Gilbert had been exactly a private kid. His family talked about most things, so it was only logical that by the third day there, his mother would corner him in the living room while Hercules showered and say: “Come on Gil, you’re killing me here.”

Gilbert frowned. “What?”

She sat down next to him on the couch and grabbed his hands. “Are you, or are you not?”

“What?”

“Soulmates, Gil! You and Hercules?”

“Oh,” he bit his bottom lip and looked away. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“We haven’t gotten tested.”

“You—what?!”

Gilbert shrugged. “Is it important, really?”

His mother studied him carefully. “Well, I guess not, but,” she licked her lips, “aren’t you curious?”

“No, not at all.”

She stared at him incredulously but didn’t insist. She was tactful and prudent like that. She leaned back instead and let go of one of his hands. “Your cousin loved your present, by the way.”

“Yeah, she told me,” he chuckled. “Very effusively, if I must add.” He grinned, remembering the story she had made in Instagram where she called him the best cousin in the world and many other sweet adjectives that had disappeared from the internet many weeks ago but would never leave his heart.

“You should sell it.”

“What?”

“Your stories. They’re amazing.”

“They’re… they’re fairytales.”

She rolled her eyes. “They’re stories for kids, and they’re _new_ , and different. I’m sure you’d be quite successful.”

He laughed, because parents were supposed to say that kind of thing. “I’ll go see if Hercules is ready. I want to take him to see Versailles today.”

Yes, summer days were long and great to make tourism, and though the heat made holding hands a little unpleasant, they still walked around that way, because they were a couple, and they were happy, and they wanted to be close to each other and they wanted the world to know it. That part, out there in public with strangers but far away from Gilbert’s family, Hercules could handle. The problem was inside, where he felt his in-laws’ eyes on him at all times, studying him, judging him—maybe he was paranoid, but he couldn’t help it. Probably all the French freaked him out, it made him feel like he didn’t know how to behave accordingly.

Back in Princeton, Maria wasn’t doing any better with her nerves. Thomas had lent her his apartment for the whole summer, but Eliza insisted she went to her place for at least a few days, and she reluctantly had agreed—and then immediately regretted it, but Eliza said she couldn’t take it back.

There, in Eliza’s huge house, with all the marble and silver and crystal, she felt out of place. She felt like her clothes weren’t enough, like the sound her shoes made against the floor wasn’t right, the sound of her voice was too loud, and her speech was inadequate. She felt all those things and yet, she couldn’t leave. Not when Eliza had been so happy to have her there and introduce her to her parents. In all honesty, Catherine and Phillip Schuyler had been more than welcoming. They were polite and agreeable, funny even, and always tried to include her in the conversation without making it all about her; she never felt like she was being interrogated.

Still, being completely alone in the living room with Catherine wasn’t something she was nearly prepared to face. Somewhat she kept breathing, knowing that Eliza should be back soon—she had only gone to help her father get some stuff from the car. It couldn’t take too long… right?

“I’m sorry about this morning,” said Eliza’s mother, apologizing over a ridiculous argument between Peggy and Angelica that had woken everyone in the house, including Maria. “Normally the girls have very clear who showers first and that sort of thing but now that you’re staying they made some changes and it’s like they keep forgetting it.”

“I see.”

“I’m sure you know how it is. I only had one sister but four brothers and well, let’s just say going out on vacations wasn’t an easy affair.”

She chuckled. “That sounds complicated. But I’m afraid I couldn’t really know, I grew up alone with my mother,” she explained.

“Oh,” Catherine nodded, “I see. Is she…?”

“She’s probably mad at me,” she commented as nonchalantly as she could, anticipating the uncomfortable question, “because I left my soulmate. She always dreamt about finding hers, you know?” she licked her lips and looked out the window.

“So what? She cannot expect to live through you, sweetie.”

Sometimes, when meeting extraordinary people, one spent a lot of time questioning how they became the way they were, and many times, indagating in their past only made it more confusing. But on occasions, when one met said extraordinary person’s family, especially whoever raised them, it became a little easier to understand. To Maria, Eliza would always be extraordinary. She was gentle, smart, talented and beautiful, and there was no one on earth that could make her feel as safe. Only now, her mother came a close second.

She probably shouldn’t have been surprised her mother was amazing too. People complained about families all the time—herself included, but not all about them was frustrating and bad; some people were truly blessed with the relatives they got, and even when they weren’t, there was always something salvageable, or on occasions, _someone_.

In the Laurens household, John had always considered his sister Martha was that for him. He wasn’t close to his father, and though the guy wasn’t horrible, well, they weren’t close. And really, distant relationships can feel just as painful as bad ones sometimes. When there isn’t a connection, when two people feel like they share nothing but blood, well, it sucks. And maybe he didn’t even have that many things in common with Martha, but she’d always been there for him. She always cared, and always asked, and always made sure he was okay, even when he was the one that wanted to be left alone. Normally, he still appreciated her interest.

Normally.

But he was just so tired of questions about his love life, especially after the semester he’d had. He tried to warn her he didn’t want to talk about it softly at first, but after she insisted, he was a little brusque. He yelled: “Damn it, sis, I don’t know. I don’t care. I haven’t found my soulmate because I’m not looking for them, okay? Could you just stop it?”

She frowned but didn’t seem fazed with his explosion. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not looking for my soulmate, Martha. Whoever they are, they’re probably better off without me.”

“What are you talking about? No, John—”

“I’m asexual, Martha. I’m fine on my own, I don’t want to be with anyone.” He was aromantic too, but he figured she would be even more lost with that term.

“But,” she blinked and licked her lips, “what? I don’t, I don’t understand.”

He sighed. “You don’t need to worry about it. Just… really, don’t bother me about my soulmate, okay? Please.”

“But John—”

“Martha, please.” John had been expecting that reaction, but it still frustrated him. It hurt that complete strangers could be more understanding than his own sister, who had been his main ally, always.

She sighed. “Okay. Fine. I won’t mention it again.”

He nodded. “Thanks.” If asexuality was as hard to understand for allows as allosexuality was for him, then well, he understood that some people thought he was just messing with them or trying to be different or whatever. But he didn’t want to be different, he _was_ different, and sometimes, he would’ve given a lot to just _not_ be.

Sometimes.

He liked his life the way it was. He never felt like something was missing. It was only unpleasant when he had to _prove_ to others that he was the way he said he was, like it was any of their business. Besides, John was like a magnet for weirdos. It was more than a little concerning. Maybe there really was a God out there protecting him from those people making sure he had no interest in them.

She stood up and glanced at the door for a moment. He had wanted to be left alone, but not literally, and a knot formed in his stomach when he thought she was leaving, but then she sighed and went back to sit on his bed with him.

“Let’s watch a nonromantic movie then, weirdo.”

He grinned. He liked that idea, and he really, really liked his sister, even when she didn’t fully get him. How else would he be comfortable with her in his room? His room was like a sanctuary. Even the one he had in Hercules’s place was totally his now, and he couldn’t stand it when somebody entered without his consent. But maybe it was like that to everyone. And surely being in somebody else’s room always felt like seeing a tiny part of that someone’s soul, which was more than an honor; it was intimate and valuable, and somewhat made those involved feel like they could talk about everything.

One would think that for two people that had been sharing a room for almost a year there would be very little unasked, but that wasn’t the case with Aaron and Alexander. They knew a lot about each other, but not everything, though really, there would always be more things to discuss. Still, Alexander loved being in Aaron’s room. He liked the one they shared in Princeton, but the one he had in Connecticut, the one he had in a house he’d always considered hostile felt like a refuge. It wasn’t so obvious at first. When you first entered it actually looked quite plain, but once you started _really_ looking, once you noticed all the drawing blocks, the pencils, the way he ordered his books—by author, though those were not in alphabetical order; putting together the initials of every author, from left to right and top to bottom, you could form the words ‘ _Patience_ ’, ‘ _Bored_ ’, and ‘ _Rice_ ’—you could see Aaron, the real Aaron, written all over the place. He was himself in that room, hidden in plain sight, always discreet and without bothering anyone, but he was himself.

“Why rice?” he asked pointing at the bookshelf with his head.

Aaron snorted. “It was the first time I got the idea. I was trying to organize them by size, I was hungry…” he shrugged, “my brain somewhat saw it and I said, why not? It’s a nice memory so I kept it after I got more books and more space for other words.”

“How old were you when you came to live here?”

“Seven, but my grandparents’ place wasn’t far from here.”

“It still was a big change though, wasn’t it?”

Aaron pursed his lips. “My grandparents… they were the only parents I really knew, you know? I mean, I don’t remember my parents and you met my aunt and uncle,” he smiled dejectedly, “they try, but they’re not exactly… they’d never been affectionate, I guess. I’ve told you, they always treated my sister and I like unwanted guests. The only times they tried to be paternal was whenever they were trying to impose their views and beliefs on us.”

“Then it was a big change.”

Aaron snorted. “Yeah, it was a huge one.”

“You’re mad at your grandmother, aren’t you?”

Aaron gasped, wide-eyed. “I… what? No, I…”

“Baby, that’s okay.”

Aaron hugged his sides and looked away. “How could it be okay? You’re not supposed to get angry at people for dying.”

“Who says that?”

“Are you angry at your mother?”

“Damn right I am, half the time. I miss her, and I’m grateful for a lot of things so of course I feel guilty about being _so_ _angry_ at her, you know? But I am. She left me alone.”

Yeah, they do that. They’re so immersed in their own sorrow that they don’t stop for a minute to think of the people they’re leaving behind. None of them did, not his grandmother, not Sally, and they left him _so alone_. Still, he didn’t say that out loud. Out loud he said: “It’s selfish.”

“Screw that. They’re the selfish ones. I mean,” Alexander blushed and scratched the back of his head. “I mean,” he licked his lips and walked to Aaron, placing his hands softly on his hips, “sure, they were in pain. I get it. But dying… dying is like such an easy way out, you know? Besides, all the anger is not even that rational, is it? It’s just… what they caused. Not why they did it, not how they did it, just… what they caused, because that is their responsibility after all.”

“Is it?”

“Whose else, then?”

Aaron bit his bottom lip. “No one’s. It’s no one’s fault.”

“Responsibility is different than culpability.” Alexander shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Tell me about your sister?”

“She was…” Aaron stared at his soulmate for a moment. He studied his long eyelashes and round cheeks, the line of his nose and the stub on his chin. “She was a lot like you,” he cupped Alexander’s face with a hand and pressed their foreheads together. “Impulsive, opinionated,” he grinned, “damn annoying, too.”

“She sounds great.”

“Oh, she was great… she was my best friend.” He sighed and took a step back. “She was the only one that really knew what it was like to live _here_ ,” he extended his arms at his sides. “After she met Tapping, she thought all her problems were over, you know?”

“But they weren’t.”

“Tapping was _worse_ ,” he snorted and rubbed his forehead. Then, slowly, he made his way back to the bed. “She hated him, but she wouldn’t admit it. How could she? He was _her soulmate_. She was supposed to fall madly in love with him.”

“But that never happened.”

“He was fourteen years older than her. He said there was no need for her to go to college, and she had gotten a great scholarship for Stanford. She’d been _in love_ with that idea, and he just… destroyed it. Because it was in the West Coast, and how could she leave? I mean, her soulmate was right here!”

“Son of a bitch.”

Aaron snorted. “My aunt and uncle did their part too.”

“Why do they say it was an accident? I kind of checked online. The newspapers said that too. But you—”

“She jumped off a bridge. Everyone decided it must have been an accident. They never found a note so,” he shrugged. “There was no reason to think it had been a suicide. I mean, she was eighteen, had just gotten married… why could she possibly want to end her life?”

“She told you anything?”

“She sorts of did. I mean, not with words, but… but she gave me what could be considered a note, I guess. Besides, I’m pretty sure Tapping’s drinking habits aren’t merely motivated by her loss.”

“You think he knows?”

“I know he does.” He’d known the moment he saw him in the hospital just outside the morgue, after he had recognized her. He’d known it the moment Tapping had stared at him, face streaked with tears, and weakly mumbled that he was sorry. That it had been his fault. That he had taken his sister from him, and he was sorry. He shook his head. “I don’t want to think about it right now.”

“Of course. Let’s watch a movie.”

Aaron nodded and scooted away from the middle of the bed to make space for Alexander. They hadn’t been in that damned house for a week yet, but his soulmate seemed to be fully adapted to it, which was a little disconcerting. Still, he didn’t know how to react the next day. All in all, not even Aaron knew, and one could say he had some experience with it. In all honesty, receiving bad news during breakfast was always disconcerting. Even if the brain was supposed to be fully alert, it never really was at that point, not when there was still food on the table and you still needed to shower. Even the act of picking up the phone was a little slower, and the loud ring was just disruptive and annoying more than alarming, like it should be.

When the phone started ringing, Aaron didn’t think much of it and simply kept eating. It wasn’t until Eugénie, the lady that helped in the kitchen, came to tell his aunt that she was needed that he got a knot in his stomach.

The call itself was short. Maybe even shorter than the time it took Timothy speak after she came back.

“What was it?” he inquired, clearly concerned.

Rhoda swallowed and went back to the table but didn’t sit. “It was… Tapping’s housekeeper,” she covered her mouth with a hand and shook her head. “He… she found him this morning, she thought he was sleeping but…”

Timothy gasped. “Oh, dear lord.”

She nodded. “She called an ambulance, but it was too late. Two police officers went, and everything seems to point out it was from natural causes.”

“Are we needed for anything right now?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” he stood up, “I’ll call the people from the funerary from the car. Ronnie, if you could start telling people?”

He nodded. “Of course. Good luck.” He and Alexander watched them leave the house without another word with airs of resignation and pity.

“He doesn’t—didn’t, he didn’t have anyone else,” explained Aaron. “Family, I mean.”

“Oh,” Alexander bit his bottom lip. “That’s shitty.”

Aaron nodded and stood up. “I better make some calls. I’ll post something on Facebook when I get the details for the funeral.”

Alexander watched his soulmate go through the chores with the tiredness and soberness of someone who has done it before, and spent the rest of the day just existing in a weird limbo. The arrangements for a funeral were a very strange thing to see from the wings. Normally, to be allowed to be so close to it you ought to be close to the deceased, but Alexander had only seen Tapping once. It was weird to think of him as dead, but it wasn’t particularly sad. Being in that house while all arrangements were done was like being an intruder, but each time Aaron stopped for a hug or simply to rest his head on his shoulder for a moment, Alexander felt like he was actually needed, and was glad he hadn’t stayed in Princeton.

Not twenty-four hours later, they were getting ready for the burial.

Taking a deep breath, Aaron studied his reflection on the mirror of his bedroom.

“Are you okay?” asked Alexander softly.

He nodded. “I will be.” He was wearing the same suit he’d wore on their first date back in April, and he looked marvelous. Alexander felt a little guilty over remembering such a thing, but he wasn’t exactly affected, and Aaron’s expression was more remorseful than depressed. Aaron never liked the guy, and Alexander had barely known him, so his death was more of a shock than anything and honestly, remembering their first date was probably one of Alexander’s favorite dissociation techniques. Not only the date itself, but the entire time getting ready—Alexander had received a writing award and used that money to get himself a nice suit, which Aaron had rolled his eyes at but hadn’t commented anything. His friends, however, had been slightly more vocal, so he’d explained:

_“There’s a show I wanted to watch, and Aaron got tickets.” He stopped dead in his track with a gasp. “Oh my God, is this going to be our first date? Should we have dinner first? Or like, after? Should I get him flowers or something? Should I—”_

_Laurens snorted. “Dude, relax. Isn’t it like your third date?”_

_Alexander turned to stare at him bewildered. According to him, the only date he’d had in his life was the one he had with Eliza all those months ago. “What?”_

_“The first one would be the Schuyler’s Christmas ball, right?” said Hercules._

_Lafayette nodded. “And the second would be the time you went to the art gallery.”_

_“Those weren’t… I mean,” he licked his lips, “we weren’t…”_

_“Those were dates, Alexander.”_

_Hercules and Lafayette nodded._

_“And that’s ignoring all your movie-nights and stuff!”_

They hadn’t been entirely wrong; those times had been _special_ , but they hadn’t been _dates_ , and their first date, that night in the theatre, became one of Alexander’s most precious memories, not only because of what it meant, but because it was perfect. And maybe the lady sitting next to them had gone out to use the restroom too many times, and Aaron had dropped his phone at the beginning of the second act so they missed one funny line while searching for it, but they had held hands during most of it and Aaron had rested his head on Alexander’s shoulder the entire first act and they had stopped for sushi—which none of them liked that much, but it was late—on their way back while discussing all the highpoints of the show and trying not to get any soy sauce on their suits, and it had been, it had been perfect. He cleared his throat when he noticed he’d spaced out.

“You ready?”

Aaron nodded.

When Aaron met Tapping Reeve almost five years prior, he’d found the guy boring, ugly and a little pedantic, and he imagined his sister had a similar opinion. He wasn’t unpleasant, but he wasn’t _missed_ when he wasn’t around. Still, back then he had been loved by the community, and had many, well, if not friends, colleagues that cared about him and seemed happy to see him. He knew that after Sally’s death, his life had gone to hell as well. He’d known it, but the view of the half-empty church with the lonely coffin upfront still was heartbreaking and shocking.

No one should die and not be missed. No one. Aaron could think of very little things that were sadder than that.

Alexander squeezed his hand and whispered in his ear. “Hey. Remember that those who stay behind are the mourning ones. He’s gone.”

He’s gone, so he probably can’t know that hardly anybody bothered to dress up and give him one last goodbye. He’s gone. The last piece of Sally, the only other person that really missed her, was gone. The only one that stopped by the cemetery to give her some flowers, the only one that noticed how different the world was without her, was gone. His throat closed, and he had to close his eyes as well. And though it might have been what he needed, the soft touch of lips on his temple what was finally broke him, and he covered his mouth with a hand to muffle the terrible sound that wanted to escape.

In a world that openly advertised guaranteed happiness, not everybody got their happy ending. Not only many didn’t find their soulmates, but also a portion of those who did weren’t what their soulmate wanted and vice versa. He sat up front, as near to the coffin as he could, and wished he would’ve told Tapping at some point how sorry he was for him also. Unconsciously, he figured he always blamed him, and he had some responsibility in what drove Sally to madness, but not all of it. He couldn’t be blamed for not being what she wanted. He couldn’t be blamed for something he was a victim of also.

He noticed Alexander cross himself and felt a little awkward. He didn’t think they’d ever discussed religion before.

“I’m not really religious,” admitted he, because having a little conversation would help ignore the fact he’d just been crying, and because he actually wanted to talk about it. He wanted to talk about his grandfather, and about all the things he preached, and how he didn’t believe in them. At least, he wasn’t sure he believed in his family’s religion. There were two major beliefs on earth. In one, once one died, there came the afterlife, where you were reunited with your soulmate for the rest of eternity if you both had been good. In the other, one stayed in some sort of limbo until your soulmate caught up with you, and together, you reincarnated in a new era with the promise to meet each other again. Before he knew Alexander was his soulmate, he had seen both options as terrible destinations—to be sentenced to spend the eternity with someone randomly chosen—but now that he knew who his soulmate was, in a selfish way, he had stopped thinking of them that way. An eternity with Alexander didn’t sound like a torture at all.

He stared at the coffin for a moment, his mind going blank, and started praying what little he remembered.

The next day, breakfast was mostly silent. Normally, his aunt and uncle interrogated him for the first part and then made their _suggestions_ on how Aaron should proceed. He wasn’t used to silence, he used to dream about silence.

He didn’t like silence.

Gratefully, after his uncle finished his toast, he said: “I need to go to the cemetery to check some details with Tapping’s epitaph. Would you like to join me, Ronnie?”

Aaron was surprised by that. For people as religious as they were, they hardly ever visited the dead. His sister would take him to visit his grandparents when he was younger, but his aunt and uncle never went. And even now, his uncle had needed an excuse for it. Still, Aaron would take what he could get, and nodded. His uncle already had his jacket, phone and keys in hand, so Aaron stood up hurriedly. “Let me just brush my teeth.”

“Sure, sure,” his uncle waved a hand with disinterest.

He didn’t notice Alexander had followed him upstairs until he finished flossing and noticed him behind him through the mirror. He yelped, and Alexander’s apology was distorted by his laughter.

Aaron rolled his eyes and placed one hand on Alexander’s cheek, still shaking with giggles. “I’ll be back soon, I promise,” whispered he.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” Alexander wished he didn’t sound as wobbly as he felt. He understood Aaron had to go alone, and he would be staying there for at least two months, so he really needed to be able to stay alone in that house. The problem was that he _wouldn’t_ be staying alone. Aaron’s aunt Rhoda would be staying too, and the woman creeped him out. Still, he gave Aaron his best smile, grabbed the hand that was still in his cheek, and kissed the palm.

Aaron in turn smiled sheepishly, obviously seeing through him, and dropped a short kiss on his cheek first and then another in his lips. “I’m sorry. I’d tell you she doesn’t bite, but…”

Alexander giggled. “Just hurry.”

He would try, but it really wasn’t up to him. If he had to be honest, he’d like staying next to his sister for hours, but he was going with his uncle, therefor he probably would only be able to stay there while the man fixed whatever problem there was with poor Tapping’s epitaph. The cemetery itself wasn’t that far; they could go walking, but Aaron hardly ever did on his own. Aaron hardly left the house on his own, actually. Walking down his street by himself brought back too many unwanted memories already, but doing it with his uncle was more than nerve-racking, and for a moment, he wondered if it was too late to go back and ask Alexander to join them.

“I got to tell you, Ronnie, your aunt and I were worried about you,” he clapped his shoulder, “but not anymore.”

‘ _Why not._ ’ He bit the inside of his cheek.

“That boy… he seems to be a good boy, isn’t he? He… he likes that you’re in school together, right?”

Aaron inhaled sharply. “Yes. Yes, he does.”

His uncle nodded. “That’s good. You like him?”

“I do.”

“Good,” he licked his lips, “and… and are you happy, kid?”

Aaron stopped walking. “Yes, uncle. I’m very happy.”

His uncle nodded jerkily and gestured for him to keep walking. “That’s good. That’s… that’s good.”

They made the rest of the way in silence, which was fine by Aaron. He was more than a little shocked by the exchange, and he didn’t know if he could handle anything else. His aunt and uncle did a lot of harm, and Aaron still considered them bad people, but at least they really understood what had happened to Sally, and in their own messed up, lazy and uninterested way, they didn’t want it to happen to Aaron as well. They were bad, but they cared. Somebody else cared, aside from him, that his sister was no longer living, and that made him feel a little less lonely and a little less trapped. When they approached the huge iron gates, his uncle handed him money and mumbled: “For the flowers.”

Aaron nodded. He wouldn’t ask if the flowers were for Sally, for Tapping, or for both. He had enough for both, and so, he got for both.

Meanwhile, Alexander figured he didn’t have much time to do what he wanted to do. He took his time brushing his teeth, but then went downstairs, took a deep breath and asked the scary woman: “Can I see the attic?”

Rhoda blinked, surprised. “The attic?”

Alexander bit his bottom lip. “Yes… uh, there must be some stuff from Aaron’s grandparents’ house, right? I’d like to give him a surprise.”

“A surprise. Huh. I never thought Ronnie liked surprises.”

Alexander shrugged one shoulder. “I guess it depends on the surprise. Sometimes, being surprised can make a person feel like they have no control of the situation, and I guess that’s what he doesn’t like. What I plan, well, won’t make him feel that way. I promise.”

“Okay.”

When she simply took him there and then abandoned him without any intention of helping, he felt a little irritated, but it really was for the better. He just would’ve liked to know what box to open so he wouldn’t waste the thirty minutes he wasted looking through old ornaments and art—the amount of paintings signed E.E. made him curious, but he could ask later. By the time he had found what he was looking for, he heard the sound of the entrance door opening, and almost lost his life in the most ridiculous and embarrassing fashion when he tried to leave the attic in a hurry with his arms full. Luckily, Rhoda had been around and helped him before a tragedy could occur. She eyed what he was carrying with confusion at first, but once she realized what he’d been looking for, she seemed bored.

“You almost fell down the stairs to your death for those? Lunch will be done in a minute or two, Alex.”

“Okay. Wait, wait, you keep these here all the time. Would it be okay if we took them with us?”

“Do whatever you want with that.”

He nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

“I would recommend you do something with your face and hair and clothes before coming down to eat, though. You’re all dusty.”

That had been his plan, but then he seriously considered going like that. Still, he imagined Aaron would be mortified if he blatantly went against his aunt’s wishes, so he didn’t. He didn’t dignify her with a response, though, and after that, lunch was tense. Aaron seemed distracted, his uncle uncomfortable, his aunt angry and, well, so was Alexander. Really it was a good thing Aaron wasn’t paying them any attention because otherwise… well. After lunch they were free to go upstairs—not like they were free to go anywhere else—and Alexander’s anger vanished to make space for eagerness and stress. Before Aaron could open the door, he cleared his throat and said: “I got you something.”

Aaron turned to see him with a slight frown. “You went out?”

Alexander shook his head. “I barely had enough time to find them, so forgive me for not wrapping them.”

“What…?”

Alexander made an ambiguous gesture at the door and Aaron took a step back to let him enter first, and then followed him inside with a wary expression that quickly turned into a shocked one after Alexander handed him one of the photo albums in the pile on his desk.

“How…?”

Alexander shrugged. “I asked your Aunt to see the attic. We can take these with us back to Princeton, you know.”

Aaron caressed the cover and ignored his aunt and uncle watching everything from the ajar door. “Thank you,” whispered he. Swallowing, he went to sit on his bed and opened it with shaky hands. He gasped.

Alexander sat down next to him but didn’t say anything. He alternated his eyes between Aaron’s face and the pictures. That first album consisted of Esther Edwards’s pregnancy of Aaron and his first year of life; it had been the only one Alexander had really checked after he yelled in victory over finding the right box before Aaron came back from the cemetery, and baby Aaron was simply adorable. His parents were good-looking too, which wasn’t at all surprising, but it had been really nice to see all that, to see the pictures telling a story almost no one alive had witnessed. To see Aaron’s reaction at reliving that story he couldn’t remember was more bittersweet; Aaron’s trembling hands and moist eyes were heartbreaking, but he knew he had done something good. He knew it because of the way Aaron’s hand had found his way back to Alexander’s, and in the way some giggles still managed to escape his tight throat.

After Aaron finished checking the third album—that was full of pictures of his parents before Sally was born—he asked: “Who’s E.E.?”

Aaron frowned. “E.E.? Well, I guess it could be my mother. Why?”

“There are a bunch of paintings up in the attic, all signed like that. You never mentioned she liked art too.”

Aaron blinked owlishly at him. “I didn’t know.”

Alexander awkwardly shrugged one shoulder, trying not to show how much that angered him. “We could check them later.” They _would_ check them later. Those people had no right to keep Aaron in the dark about the things he shared with his parents. That kind of thing _mattered_ , and if they didn’t understand it, well, Alexander did. And they would listen to him.

Aaron squeezed his hand, both in tenderness and warning. “Thank you, Alexander.”

Alexander was good with words, and there might have been many things he could’ve said, but he couldn’t think of a single one. Instead, he cupped Aaron’s face in his hands and kissed him. He kissed him languidly and lovingly. He kissed him like he didn’t know they had an audience. He kissed him like he knew Aaron wanted, and he kissed him like he loved him. “You’re welcome,” he said anyway once they separated, and smirked. “I love you.”

Aaron clearly wanted to laugh but kept it in with some difficulty. From the angle in which they were, his aunt and uncle couldn’t see his face. “I love you too.” He hugged tightly to his neck and in his ear, he whispered: “And I’m not making out with you in front of my aunt and uncle. Forget it.”

Alexander laughed cheerfully. It had been worth a try.

That night, even though the weight in Aaron’s shoulders was considerably lighter, he still couldn’t sleep. He tried counting backwards from one hundred but when he reached 87 he realized there was something else he wanted to do with his time. He straightened on the bed careful not to wake Alexander and grabbed the drawing block he kept under his bed and one of the photo albums. Then, as he studied and copied the dead’s faces, time flew. He noticed Alexander stirring next to him before he realized the sun was already up outside.

“Hey,” groaned his soulmate, blinking owlishly.

Aaron smiled sweetly and ran a hand through the messy long hair. “Hey. Want to have breakfast in bed today?”

“No,” Alexander yawned. “No. Call me weird, but I want to see your aunt and uncle today.”

Aaron snorted, and only then did Alexander notice what he’d been doing. He gasped and extended a hand towards Aaron’s block. “Can I?”

Aaron nodded. “Sure.”

Alexander studied his work intently. “These are amazing.”

Aaron swallowed the words ‘ _I just draw what I see_ ’ and smiled shyly. “Thanks.”

“You should show it to them.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’ve never drawn them before. It might offend them.”

“Never?”

Aaron shook his head. ‘ _I never saw them, I guess_.’ He rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe I should. Maybe if I had, they would’ve realized how much I like it.”

“Have you seriously thought about changing your major?”

He had. For some reason, now he didn’t think it impossible to convince his aunt and uncle of it. He shook his head. “I don’t think I want to _study_ art.”

“That’s okay.”

“I mean… I don’t ever want to stop doing it, sure, but I don’t, I don’t feel like I want to be taught anything new, you know?”

“Okay.”

“But I was thinking,” he licked his lips, “maybe I could take ‘ _Contemporary_ _Art’_ this semester?”

Alexander nodded thoughtfully. “I think that’s a great idea.”

“Maybe I don’t even have to enroll in it, I could just go, but…”

“Baby,” Alexander grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles, “I think it’s a great idea. You’re going to love it, I’m sure.”

“Or I’ll hate it, but the semester will end eventually.”

“Don’t be so pessimist.”

“But disappointment is unavoidable, Alexander,” replied Aaron swinging his legs out of the bed.

“So what if it is?” Alexander shrugged and closed the drawing block. “It only means it shouldn’t be enough to stop you.”

He didn’t think of Alexander and Sally’s similarities often, because there weren’t even that many in the first place, but sometimes Alexander would say things like that, things that Sally could’ve said, _would’ve_ , if she was still around, and he would be left thinking of the void she left behind. He tried not to be angry at her for having left. He tried, and most of the time he succeeded, but there were times when he didn’t. Having Alexander with him helped to ease that anger, somehow. She was gone, but he wasn’t alone anymore. She couldn’t have known that, but she had been staring at a life where she also would’ve been alone, and that wasn’t fair.

He wondered if there was an afterlife, and if Tapping was there apologizing to her. He wondered if she would ever forgive him. Then he didn’t voice any of that, and stretched his arms over his head. There was still a lot of summer left. “Why don’t you show me those paintings you mentioned?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this chapter was a lot longer, but then I decided to cut it, and then I cut it some more! I promise the next chapter won't take me so long! I hope you liked it!


	8. The next level

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been a while, but I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with this story anymore even though I had the ending already written (I'm pretty sure I wrote it before they started dating). I think I found that direction now, and hopefull you all will like it. Anyway, enjoy!

One could say that the thick of emotions funneled on those first few days of summer break, for the months of June, July, and August, were nothing but calm for Aaron and Alexander. In September they would learn that it hadn’t been the same for their friends, but in the meantime, they relished the sun, food and weather. In the pool, Alexander had given up with his contacts and started using his glasses. It was always a little disconcerting seeing Alexander wearing glasses outside in the sunlight, but Aaron thought they made him look interesting, and his Aunt, to his dismay, agreed. At first his Aunt and Alexander’s relationship had been tense, and he didn’t think it would ever be friendly, but it’d been getting better the more she saw them interact. Aaron never thought they really cared to see him happy—he never thought they cared that he existed at all—but given that Alexander’s impact on his life was enough for them to accept him, on top of him being Aaron’s soulmate, he decided to give them a little credit. Maybe they didn’t deserve it, but it was nice to feel loved. It was nice to think that there was a reason behind the control they held over him. It was nice to think that when his aunt criticized his clothes, she did it hoping he would look good and she cared not only because of how that would reflect on her. It was nice to think that whenever his uncle commented on how he was either eating too much or too little, he was thinking of his health and didn’t do it only so people would say he was a good guardian. But moreover, it was nice to feel like he was a guest that would eventually leave. It was nice to be certain of it, to know the exact date in which Alexander and he would take a cab and would go back to the room they shared, where the air was lighter, and the sun actually reached the inside. It was nice to know he would leave with extra baggage, and for once, it was nice to exist, even if he was there. It was nice to be left alone to swim with Alexander for hours and only be interrupted from time to time with offers of fruit and juice, though having a little more liberty to go out whenever they wanted would’ve been appreciated.

Then one day near the end of August he felt silly, because maybe he had been doing it wrong, by asking every time if he was needed or if it would be a good idea to go somewhere. But maybe he hadn’t. Maybe the only reason it worked was because Alexander did it, but he still felt that way when during breakfast Alexander went and said:

“Aaron and I wanted to go downtown today, check the library for some supplementary reading we wanted to do.”

“Oh,” said his uncle, without raising his eyes from his plate, “that’s good. Yes. Supplementary reading is good.”

“Are you sure you have to go to the library for it?” asked his aunt, who had screwed her face in a grimace at the idea. “Remember that the day after tomorrow is Eunice’s birthday and we’re having a party here. The people from the flower shop should arrive around six, and I could use some help receiving them.”

Aaron was about to say they would stay, but Alexander placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed.

“I’m sorry, we’ll try to be back by then, but we’ve already lost too many days.”

“Yes Rhoda, be sensible, please!” added Timothy, only then raising his eyes to glare at his wife. “They need to study. And what help will you need? The guys from the shop do it all themselves; you just have to tell them where to put stuff and you don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” He shook his head. “You two go, and don’t worry about coming back early. Hell, stay and study in the library! I’m sure it’ll be easier to focus there than here today.”

His aunt’s lips stayed curved downwards but closed for the rest of the meal, and when they left, she barely nodded, but Aaron couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t believe it had worked. He couldn’t believe they were free to stay away from that house for the entire afternoon. Upstairs, before heading out, he caught Alexander in a tight embrace and inhaled deeply, with content, Alexander’s particular scent that he could now also find in his pillows.

“Thank you,” mumbled he.

“You don’t need to thank me.” He dropped a kiss on Aaron’s forehead. “Just promise me you’ll have a good time, and won’t think of your aunt for the rest of the afternoon, okay?”

Aaron bit his bottom lip. “I can promise you I won’t think of her until eight?”

Alexander chuckled. “Sounds good. Come on.”

Aaron walked the first three blocks away from his house with a big grin on his face and Alexander’s hand in his, and if anybody had told him that would happen not three months earlier he would’ve thought they were delusional, and five months ago? Five months ago he was still trying to keep his discovery a secret and the mere thought of holding Alexander’s hand had been absurd. He squeezed his boyfriend’s hand and Alexander squeezed back. He was happy. He was so happy no one could blame him for being distracted and not paying attention when they reached the commercial area and someone was struck by the view of them. If that someone hadn’t walked all the way to them and softly yet confidently grabbed Aaron’s shoulder, he simply wouldn’t have seen the guy.

“Aaron?” spoke the stranger.

Aaron didn’t know what face he made. He knew he probably didn’t smile. He knew he didn’t glare either. He was just shocked, that was the only reason he let go of Alexander’s hand. “Jonathan, hey.”

“Wow, it feels like it’s been ages, but it’s only been a year, right?” he then seemed startled to realize Aaron wasn’t alone.

“Uh, this is Alexander. A friend from college.”

“Oh, hi,” he waved a hand, “I’m Jonathan. Well, I have to get going. I was actually in a hurry, but I couldn’t pass by without greeting you.” He squeezed Aaron’s shoulder tenderly, the fond smile never leaving his face. “Bye!”

“Bye,” mumbled Aaron, halfheartedly. He waited a heartbeat or so for the guy to disappear down the road before resuming their way, without another word. He tried not to think of what face he was making.

They walked a block or so before Alexander finally asked: “Who was that?”

Aaron kept his gaze fixed in the horizon and ignored Alexander’s tone. He swallowed. “An old friend.” He thought he made quite clear that he didn’t wish to elaborate on it, and Alexander didn’t ask again.

Aaron was often surprised with Alexander’s capacity of concentration. The guy could spend eight hours working on an essay but when he walked down the street, every colorful thing would catch his eye and he’d forget whatever he was doing before. He thought Alexander might ask more about the weird encounter, but merely a few feet away, a yellow poster changed all their plans. Aaron knew it because of Alexander’s loud gasp.

“You know what we should do?”

“I’m afraid to ask.”

Alexander grabbed his hand and with it pointed at the poster.

Aaron paled.

“So?”

Aaron swallowed. “Okay. Sure. Do we have enough time to get there today? I’m not asking my uncle for permission. He’ll say no.”

It wasn’t even noon yet. Alexander rolled his eyes. “I think we have enough time. Come on!”

Aaron followed. They took a bus and spent the whole ride talking about other things, which he deduced was because he looked nervous. Alexander, on the other hand, looked overly excited, but he did his best to distract Aaron and make him comfortable. It didn’t exactly work. Paragliding had never been on his bucket list.

“Alexander, we’re going to die,” said Aaron at their last chance of stepping back. They already were wearing all the equipment and were standing in line with the rest of the suicide group.

Alexander giggled and squeezed his hand. “Relax. I’ve read this is actually pretty safe.”

“If my feet aren’t touching the ground then I don’t think it’s safe.”

“I didn’t know you were afraid of heights?”

“I’m not! I just like living!” He wasn’t sure since when, but as for now, he was certain of it. A dead person couldn’t do all the things he wanted to do to Alexander—which at the moment were less romantic and far more murderous. With the hand that wasn’t holding Alexander’s, he circled his arm and squeezed. “I really don’t think we should do this. I mean, you can. Totally. Go have fun. I’ll wait for you on the ground.”

“No! You have to do it too!” The instructor signaled for Alexander that it was his turn, and the bastard giggled. “Okay, it’s my turn, wish me luck!” He gave him a brief peck on the lips and left jogging. Aaron admired his enthusiasm. When he was only a few feet away, with a weird expression on his face, he added: “Oh look! That’s the guy we met earlier today!”

Aaron turned, disbelieving, and was shocked to see Bellamy there, watching them. Where he had no excuse to avoid talking to him. He sighed, and when he turned to watch his boyfriend again, the guy was already jumping, screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Hey, Aaron?”

“Hey. How have you been, Jonathan?”

“I’ve been fine, I’ve been… and you? How have you been? I noticed you were with someone.”

“Yes. Actually, that’s… that’s Alexander. He’s my roommate.”

“Oh! Oh, that makes sense. You guys got along? That’s great. I didn’t have to get a roommate in my school because, well, you know, you don’t need to stay in the dorms when you’re with your… eh,” he cleared his throat.

“I know.” How could he not when that was all Bellamy could talk about after he got his admittance letter? Aaron studied Bellamy’s fidgeting fingers and suppressed a sigh. “He’s also my soulmate.”

“For real?! Oh, man, that’s Fate right there! I mean,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “uh, only if, well. Does he know?”

“Yes.”

“And are you…?”

Aaron could lie. He didn’t know why he even considered doing it, but he did. He took a deep breath and disposed the idea. It was stupid. It would make Alexander unhappy. He needed to stop doing that. “I spent a month making Alexander and I miserable because I was scared,” admitted Aaron. The instructor signaled him that it was his turn. He gulped. “I already decided I won’t let my fears run my life.” His stomach was protesting, loudly. “It’s pretty damn difficult but at least I’m trying. I’m still pretty sure I’m walking to my death right now, though.”

Bellamy chuckled and patted him on the back. “You’ll be fine, Ronnie.” He winked. “Your soulmate seemed very excited.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “If I don’t die, I’m going to kill him for dragging me here.”

“You’ll be fine!” was the last thing he heard before jumping to his sure death.

That kind of excitement was the kind of thing people loved to brag about later, but Aaron would’ve given anything to be in his room with a laptop watching videos of cats or racoons instead of physically noticing his soul leaving his body. Still, it had looked like Alexander was having the time of his life and that enthusiasm was contagious. More like, Aaron was happy that Alexander was happy, and it was nice to share such a thing, just the two of them. Even though they had been alone for most of the summer, they hadn’t been exactly comfortable, and earlier, in school, they had their room to themselves but most of the time they hanged out with their friends. Suddenly, Bellamy’s interruption made him a little angry. That day should’ve been only about them. But Aaron refused to think of it, because at the end, Bellamy _had_ been important, and they had separated in bad terms. It was nice to have some sort of reconciliation, even when none of them ever mentioned they were fighting in the first place. Still, the rest of the afternoon was for Alexander. Alexander who he could hold hands with, lean on his shoulder and kiss whenever he wanted to. Alexander, who wasn’t secretly waiting to run away the moment a total stranger came up to him with a positive blood test. Alexander, who was staying at his house, in his room, sleeping on his bed and having breakfast with his aunt and uncle. Alexander, whom Aaron loved.

Whether he genuinely didn’t notice Alexander was being a little louder than usual, or he purposefully decided to ignore it, Alexander would never know. But he was certainly glad to have the excuse of needing a shower to have some time alone once they were back at his place.

He tried not to think about it. He tried to remember the feeling of flying, and that Aaron dared even though he clearly had been terrified, but he couldn’t stop thinking of the guy they had encountered that afternoon. The guy that clearly had been an important friend of Aaron, and yet the one that was introduced that way was Alexander. Alexander had been just a ‘friend from college’.

A friend from college.

Alexander considered calling John, but each time he’d tried before, the line had been occupied. He never would’ve guessed Laurens could talk on the phone so much, but he really hated his house, so he wasn’t really that surprised. Still, he couldn’t accurately picture him. Truth was, nobody could. John Laurens was this tough, unattached guy that always acted overconfident and happy, even when he stayed painting all night or was being stalked to death by a foreign student. He could be passionate, but only during a fight. He could be honest, but only when he laughed. Alexander didn’t think he had ever seen him cry.

Sure that being caught drying your face with a tissue can be embarrassing and even suspicious, especially when someone has a reputation of heartless, like John did. Probably, if anybody asked, he would’ve changed places with Aaron in an instant after he got caught in the act, with his face all red and puffy eyes.

“What are you doing?” asked his sister with a frown.

He sighed, preparing himself for the bullying that would come. “I was just on Skype with some friends.”

“Oh, you missed them?”

John sighed and nodded. “Actually…” he bit his bottom lip. “I am not staying in my dorm because my roommate was crazy. I’m living with a friend and he has a dog and I really miss that dog.” He grabbed a tie from his nightstand and tied his hair in a high ponytail. “I just spent the last twenty minutes telling that dog that I missed him. His name is George and he’s a bulldog and he’s amazing. Look, he’s my lock screen picture.” He passed her his phone.

Martha snorted. “Okay, I’ll admit that he’s adorable, but… John, were you seriously crying?”

“He didn’t want to say goodbye, Martha! Is there anything sadder in this world that a crying dog? No, there isn’t!”

Martha might have wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. He threw a pillow at her and she decided to leave him alone.

Crying dogs _were_ sad, but there were things people could do to comfort them, and she hoped her brother’s friends knew how. She would probably get along with Hercules, who was great at cheering dogs—and people—up.

“How was your walk?” asked Marie Louise, Gilbert’s mother, once they came back from their successful attempt of cheering George up, taking a long walk around the nearest park with him and all the other dogs.

“Great!” replied Gilbert, happy to hold only one leash while his boyfriend carried the other three.

“Really?” inquired Michel, Gilbert’s father, with an incredulous face.

His mother rolled her eyes. “He tried walking them all at the same time like, once, after we first came back, and it was a mess. Now every time someone asked, he said they had lost the habit of walking all together.”

Hercules chuckled.

“They seemed to remember quite alright,” replied Gilbert. “It’s either that, or Herc here really has some sort of superpower.”

“That is a possibility, indeed.”

Michel glared at Hercules, but he didn’t worry. He knew the man was joking. Or more like he hoped he was, since he didn’t even know the man that well, but after almost three months, he felt at ease joking with the couple. He had been uncomfortable at first, but Gilbert’s parents made him feel more than welcome, and Gilbert was just too happy to have him there, so he stopped worrying on whether they all meant it or not. Instead he just decided to help around, and cook from time to time, and walk the dogs, but overall, he decided to enjoy his vacation at the other side of the Atlantic. It was as if everywhere he went there was art and history; the air was so much lighter, the people so much nicer, but maybe it was just that Gilbert was by his side and he couldn’t ask for more.

If his thirteen-year-old self could see him, he didn’t know what he would say. He certainly would be stunned. Hercules never even imagined being able to afford a plane ticket. And he knew he owed most of it to Mr. Franklin, but… well, if his boyfriend didn’t live there, he probably wouldn’t have taken the time off. To be able to do one thing didn’t mean you necessarily had the motivation to perform it, and whoever was the cause for said motivation deserved the credit. So he made sure to transmit his gratitude to Gilbert with every kiss and hug and smile. He never doubted Gilbert got the message. Those were the wonders of effective communication. It didn’t even need words. They just needed to want it to be there.

Many times, people think artists are bad at communication. And they can be, they can be terrible with words. But that was _why_ they used art. At the end, artists worked as hard as they could to master the ability of communicating through alternative expressions. And perhaps there weren’t many, but there were people who could get it, who were able to read the message hidden at plain sight in between colors and metaphors and sounds. Every artist had its own language, but they didn’t have the capacity of teaching it to others. They could try to explain the technique, but to really speak, or at least understand their particular language, that was something that couldn’t be taught. It had to be wanted. A person had to crave the ability and dedicate time and spirit to crack that special code that was the personal signature of an artist. Many lovers could do it, but there were some that never did. Love wasn’t enough, really. But it was a good start.

It could be a problem when a person wasn’t good with communication but wasn’t an artist either, like Hercules, but he always found a way to make it work. And Lafayette was _really_ good with words. But Maria wasn’t, and neither was Eliza, if she had to be honest. But she had her music, and they had their smiles and whispered conversations and their hands. Oh, the stories Maria could tell about Eliza’s hands. And the things her hands helped her to communicate each time the night fell, and they were all alone at Eliza’s bedroom.

By the first week of July, the only reason Maria kept going to Thomas’s apartment was to water his plants, but then she would be back to the Schuyler’s place. She felt comfortable there. The ghost of her insecurities about being inadequate didn’t evaporate, and it was weird to have someone else cook and clean for her, but sitting at the table and joking with them, or in the living room while Eliza softly provided them with background music while Peggy tried different hairstyles on her and where she would from time to time give her opinion in the serious, sometimes overheated arguments between Angelica and Philip, she was at ease—and that was without mentioning the nights, when she was allowed to stay at Eliza’s lovely room. She had thought saying goodnight to the family would always be awkward, but even that stopped after a few weeks. That Catherine treated her as if she was just another one of her daughters instead of an intruder helped a lot. Maria couldn’t help to feel a little jealous of her girlfriend, on the few occasions she thought of all the things her mother could’ve done but never cared enough to do.

But then August was approaching, and she got ready to go back to her friend’s apartment and the texting and FaceTime to be able to see Eliza. She hadn’t even noticed how many of her clothes she had left there until she tried to collect them all and realized they didn’t fit in her messenger bag. She didn’t mind. She would ask Peggy for a bag later. She just wanted to enjoy her few last afternoons experiencing what it was like to be part of a loving family.

As soon as she stepped into the living room, Catherine offered to paint her nails. Ever since she heard Maria was terrible at it and always asked Eliza to do it, she had started doing it too, saying Eliza wasn’t delicate enough. Maria had thought the woman was nuts, but after she was done, she had to admit she was in fact better than her daughter at it.

“I feel bad leaving you here in the city by yourself,” said Catherine. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”

Maria shook her head resolutely but smiled sheepishly. “No. Thank you, really, but I couldn’t.”

Eliza pouted. She had already tried saying that she wanted to stay at Princeton with her, but Maria had insisted that would be foolish, so she didn’t bring it up again.

That conversation, however, had been private, therefore no one else in the family was aware of it.

“Why don’t you just stay here?” asked Peggy, looking at her sister like she was dumb, without letting go of Maria’s hair. “If it’s because of the plane ticket, I actually wanted to invite a friend.”

“I thought plane tickets weren’t transferable to other people,” said Maria, frowning slightly.

Eliza’s breath hitched.

Catherine pursed her lips. “That can be fixed. Who is this friend you wanted to invite?”

Peggy smirked and winked at her sister. She knew she would get a reward when she came back and joined most of them at Princeton that September.

The only ones who by the month of June had already been exhausted were Thomas and James, in Virginia.

Thomas adored his family, and had always felt part of James’s, too. He knew all of his little siblings and his parents actually felt free to ask him for anything—the minute he’d gotten his driving license the amount of calls he got from the Madison’s increased considerably—and he too knew he could ask them for anything, but they were all making him crazy. One thing was having an opinion on his clothes and asking for favors, and another was to get involved in his relationship.

After yet another argument on the right flowery centerpiece, Thomas narrowed his eyes and exited the room. His mother and mother in law didn’t stop talking. Clearly, his presence was not required. He clicked his tongue and made a decision. It was time to do something about it, and he was sure James would agree.

He couldn’t believe it, but for once, he couldn’t wait for the new semester to start.

At least he wasn’t the only one. In Connecticut Aaron couldn’t wait to go back to their little, messy room. Just because things hadn’t gone as bad as usual didn’t mean he was _enjoying_ his stay there—even though Alexander never skimmed on orgasms—and by the time his bags were finally packed and downstairs, he felt as if a giant weight had been raised of his shoulders.

Sure, he shortly felt as if a tremendous cement truck poured its content on top of his chest and the cement was quickly drying when his uncle called him to his office early in the morning of their departure.

“Uncle Tim?”

The man was, as usual, sitting behind his desk. Since there was a big window right behind it, his face was perpetually shadowed. “Ronnie, come on in. Sit.”

Aaron did. His initial plan was to wait as long as he had to for his uncle to start talking, but Alexander was a bad influence and after three minutes the silence was asphyxiating him. “Uncle?”

Timothy sighed and stood up. “There are a few things I’d like to talk to you about, before you go.”

“Okay.”

The man licked his lips, folded his hands behind his back, and then didn’t say anything else. For someone who always had something to say about Aaron’s plans, and what he should or shouldn’t do, his attitude was more than odd. Aaron was starting to worry.

“Is it really okay to take the photo albums with us, uncle?”

Timothy took a deep breath and turned to look out the window. “Yes. You can take those. The paintings though… that’s a different story.”

Aaron had been expecting that. It still hurt. “Of course. That’s okay. I mean, we hardly have enough space anyway, I mean…”

“Yes, about that…” his uncle sat back down on his big black leather chair, but he stayed slightly sideways so one side of his face was illuminated, “next year you two go pick an apartment together.” He took a box of cigars out of the first drawer and put one in his mouth. “It shall be yours. Rhoda and I will only give you the money.” He took his time to lit it. “But try to find a place close to school, of course, in a safe neighborhood, preferably near the ground, make sure to check the pipelines aren’t too old and the sun warms the place. You should write this down. Don’t worry about the money.”

“Thank you, Uncle Tim.”

The man nodded. “Don’t mention it. But literally. Don’t tell your soulmate yet. I wouldn’t want him to feel uncomfortable or anything.”

Aaron suspected there was more to his uncle’s apprehension, but he appreciated it nevertheless, because he had no idea how to tell him either. Normally, telling Alexander things wasn’t something complicated. He was usually so blatant and carefree, Aaron stopped planning every conversation before having it almost naturally. However, moving in together was a whole new level of, well, everything. Even though they were soulmates, they’d only been together for five months and hadn’t even known each other for a year yet—though that anniversary was coming. And though Aaron could never forget, it hadn’t occurred to him to celebrate it, which both James and Maria made him worry about for six horrible hours until he finally had dared to ask Alexander about.

“Of course that’s always going to be an especial date for me, but it’s the last day before class restart. I don’t think there’s much we can do to celebrate,” had reasoned Alexander. “Although,” he wrapped his arms around Aaron’s waist and pressed their foreheads together, “to lay in bed, eat something delicious and watch a movie sounds pretty great.”

Aaron arched one eyebrow. “We do that pretty much every night.”

Alexander licked his lips. “And it’s perfect.”

It was perfect. Aaron was starting to worry that he was using the word too much, because everything seemed to be working that way, the train ride back to Princeton included. There was no tension in the air, but they still played a few games and talked the whole time, which was ridiculous. How come they hadn’t run out of things to talk about after an entire summer together? It was honestly impressive. But they didn’t. Alexander never ran out of things to say, to be honest. Aaron was good with small talk, but he hardly ever had to think of anything to fill the silence with when he was with his boyfriend. There was always something more to discuss or comment or simply repeat. By the time they were back in their assigned room around five in the afternoon, they still had many things to talk about. But it all could wait. They had plans that involved even more talking, but with half a dozen other people.

“You’re taking Washington’s other class this semester?” Aaron still managed to ask while brushing his teeth.

Alexander nodded eagerly, and Aaron grimaced.

“What?”

“It’s just… ‘ _Radical_ _Political Thought_ ’ is so… radical,” he chuckled. “Are you sure you need a class to discuss the things you already talk about every day?”

Alexander shrugged. “Sure. It’ll be fun.” For someone that had wanted to find his soulmate his entire life, Alexander was quite the rebel, considering that the system worked in benefits to those that married their soulmates; he was a defender of individual’s rights in a world that didn’t believe in individuals. “You ready? Everyone else is already there.” He usually wouldn’t complain about Aaron taking long to get ready—especially because the only reason Alexander was ever ready sooner was because he had to go out earlier; otherwise, Aaron was _always_ ready twenty or even forty minutes before him—but he was excited to see all his friends again after so long. They were getting all together at Hercules’s place, and by the time they arrived everyone else was already there. By far, the happiest of them all was George, that as soon as he was done being petted by the newcomers, went back to sit on John’s lap.

“He missed me,” commented John, smugly.

Lafayette rolled his eyes, but Hercules was smiling fondly. His boyfriend would never let him say it out loud, but he thought George had missed their roommate too.

“How was your summer, guys?” asked Alexander.

John groaned. “Don’t remind me of it. It sucked.”

“He Facetimed us almost every day,” informed Lafayette, shaking his head. He downed his beer and then glared at his empty glass. “Mine was tiring. Too many emotions. I hate goodbyes.”

James nodded. “Yeah, me too. I’m glad it’s over.”

Aaron reappeared from the kitchen with two bottles of beer and handed one to Alexander, eyed Lafayette, and handed him the other. He considered getting another for himself but decided not to, and sat down next to Alexander, who immediately passed an arm around his shoulders.

“Ours could’ve been worse, but then again, we went to a funeral on the first week, so…”

“Jesus, you’re all drama queens. My summer was okay,” said Angelica shrugging one shoulder.

John snorted. “Well, congratulations.”

“No, I’m sure James and Thomas had a marvelous summer too, right?” asked Eliza, with a sincere smile that turned awkward when she noticed their faces. “Or not?” she scratched the back of her head. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing,” James hurried to clarify.

Thomas stayed quiet, while church bells rang in his ears.

Aaron narrowed his eyes. “What is it?”

“Well,” James bit his bottom lip and hoped his soulmate would help him explain, but he remained quiet. He sighed. “Our families have always known we’re soulmates, you know? So… they kind of…”

“They had our wedding ready,” confessed Thomas. “And I mean, _ready_. They got the banquet, the band, the decorations, the church, the place for the party, _everything_ ready.”

“Apparently, they started the preparations years ago, but since we told them we were together, well…”

“They were _out of control_.”

James glanced at him and then back at his chocolate mug. “Well. We still were kind of assholes, though.”

Thomas shrugged and then leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

Angelica arched one eyebrow and tilted her head to the left. “What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

“We got married in Las Vegas in July and now none of our parents are talking to us,” declared James, clearly overwhelmed. He then covered his face with his hands. “It was stupid, and I think we should still have the ceremony and party they prepared.”

“There’s no point in that,” replied Thomas, looking bored.

“No point? Dude! I thought we would’ve been invited to that party,” said Laurens, while everybody else nodded. “Besides, if they reserved everything they probably paid a lot of money. You did your rebellious act, you proved you make your own decisions or whatever, now don’t be ungrateful.”

“And we want cake,” added Hercules with a smug smirk. Somewhere on the floor, George barked in agreement.

“Wedding cake is the best,” commented Aaron, reasonably.

“A wedding in winter is ridiculous!”

“November it’s not technically winter,” argued James, shifting slightly in his seat so he was facing Thomas. “And Laurens is right, we were ungrateful. Besides, a wedding is supposed to be celebrated with your friends and family.”

“Nobody else thinks it was a little early for a wedding?”

“Please, they’ve been virtually together for like twelve years.”

“I think it’s settled,” said Angelica. “You guys are getting married in November, and we’re all going.”

“We’re already married,” pointed Thomas, glaring openly at her while subtly covering behind James.

James scooted away, both metaphorically and literally refusing to shield his now husband, nodding. “Yes. You all should give me your addresses and names so I can give them to my mother for the invitations.”

“James—”

“My mother is not talking to me, Thomas. If we have to endure a long ceremony and a boring party, God help me, I’ll do it so she’ll forgive me.”

Thomas extended a hand to grab his coffee, but James moved it out of his reach. Thomas groaned. “Okay! Whatever!” He sighed. “We’re getting married, _again_ , in November.”

James nodded.

All seemed to point out that it would be a busy semester for all of them— “Except Peggy, you’re a freshman, you’ll have time for fun,” had argued Angelica. Her little sister hadn’t agreed—but even if it was, they still managed to find opportunities to get together as much as they could.

Angelica was still the president of the WYWV club, said club still had bimonthly meetings on Wednesdays afternoons, and that year they had to celebrate both, Lafayette and Hercules’s birthdays. They had a lot of planning to do for September, or so Aaron said when Alexander questioned him why he hadn’t enrolled in that art class he wanted to take after all. But really, everyone was always busy, so whenever they could, they had lunch at Hercules’s place.

“Peggy’s not coming?”

Angelica shook her head and sighed. “One would think that now that she studies with us we would see her more often.”

Laurens chuckled. “Let the girl be. She’s making new friends.”

“She doesn’t need new ones. She has us.”

“And to think that once I thought being your sibling would’ve been kind of cool,” mumbled Laurens.

“Shut up, Laurens, you purposefully ran away from your relatives. If any of my siblings were studying here, you’re damn right I wouldn’t let them out of my sight. That’s what big brothers are supposed to do.”

“Hey now, don’t be like that. Remember you’re supposed to be nicer.”

“I don’t remember ever promising that.”

Hercules huffed.

“Hey, hey, what is going on, what did I miss?” asked Laurens. One of the problems of everyone being so busy was that many times, a part of the group never heard one or two developments. When a story had to be told several times, people always felt like they had told everyone when they didn’t.

“It’s just that part of the reason Thomas got that internship is because of me,” explained Hercules.

Thomas clearly wanted to argue, but he didn’t.

“What?”

“Yeah, he included remodeling my restaurant in his resume. Which is fine! Hell, I told him he should do it. But… you should be grateful, don’t you think?”

“I am. I am grateful _to you_. What has Laurens to do with it?”

“He lives with me. He’s my guest.”

Angelica frowned. “Didn’t you get another roommate this semester?”

John’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit. I should at least go and meet whoever it is, shouldn’t I?”

It wasn’t that Laurens was bad at first impressions… but he was. Really perhaps the only reason he was friends with everybody was because Alexander dragged him along ever since they met. He was fun, but he was also overly opinionated and had a very short temper. He was straightforward and self-assured. Really, he was a great friend, but he wasn’t easy to love, and he knew it, which maybe only made it all worse. Since he knew people probably wouldn’t like him, he was even more of an asshole. But he would try to be friendly to his roommate, even if he didn’t know how. He had to, since according to the school, he was living there, and he didn’t need to get in trouble over something so silly. So he planned the whole thing in a way that would allow him to make a quick escape just in case things didn’t turn out so well, by making sure everyone would meet at the restaurant, which meant it had to be on a weekend. That could be problematic too, because his roommate could be one of those who go visit their families every weekend so that was probably not the best idea, so his best chance was Friday. On the second Friday of September, he dared to go visit the room he was supposedly using, and then left it less than half an hour later, though he wouldn’t have minded staying longer. He got to Hercules’s place in a good mood, and Alexander seemed to pick it up, because he was smirking as he asked:

“Hey John, how was it?”

“What thing?” asked Eliza in a whisper.

“He went to meet his roommate today. So?”

Laurens shrugged one shoulder. “He’s a cool guy. It’s a little weird ‘cause his name is John too,” he grinned, “but he’s an art major too, so that’s cool.”

“Does that mean you’re moving out?” asked Lafayette.

Laurens glared at him and clapped his hands. George was with him in ten seconds. “I am _never_ moving out, man. Get used to it.”

Lafayette groaned.

“But it’s a good thing you like this one,” commented Hercules. “Remember that you’re supposed to be living there.”

“Yeah, I know. He said he’s going to cover for me. He’s cool.”

John Vanderlyn was actually pretty cool, and though they never had shared a class before and their styles were quite different, they seemed to be pretty attuned, which was just great. He even suggested to help him whenever he could with the banners for the club, and the first time John took his word for it, one Friday night that he and Aaron where more than exhausted after they had to start over with pretty much everything because there had been a leak from the second floor and half of their material had been ruined, John Vanderlyn proved to be not only hard-working and cheerful, but resourceful, which came in handy when they had less than twelve hours before the first big rally of the semester.

He hadn’t thought to keep it a secret. His roommate was barely a friend. But when he thought everyone would give him hell about it, even if they were just joking, he got a little irritated. So when after an entire day nobody brought it up, he could only deduce Aaron hadn’t in fact, said anything about getting Vanderlyn’s help. John didn’t quite know how to feel about that. Were they stealing his credit somehow? But Vanderlyn had just been helping out. He had done it as a favor and then didn’t even go to the rally, now whether that was because he was exhausted, or because he really didn’t care, John wasn’t sure, but that wasn’t his problem. In the weeks he’d known him, the guy hadn’t mentioned soulmates once, so he figured it wasn’t a big deal for him, and that was okay. He just wished soulmates weren’t a big deal for everybody else.

He had managed to get his sister on his side, but he never had that much luck with his father, and he was going to need at least a few months to completely get over his terrible summer. It was a good thing when he got together with Alexander and Aaron they always had something even more ridiculous to tell him, like the time Aaron’s aunt forced them to participate on her book club—they’d been reading a ‘classic’, which was perhaps the most dramatic take on why deciding to be with someone that wasn’t your soulmate was not a good idea—or when she allegedly by mistake had the cleaning crew adjust the chlorine in the pool thrice in few hours, making it impossible for them to use it for almost two days because it would literally burn them—which they realized after Alexander was already inside.

“God, I hate that woman,” mumbled Alexander while his soulmate laughed.

Laurens shook his head, still a little shocked. Sometimes he forgot that whereas his family made him feel bad unwarily, there were others out there that _actually_ wanted to harm people and that was genuinely worse. “You’re never going back there, right?”

“Going back where?” asked Hercules. The last table had just exited, and they were officially closed for the day.

Lafayette only then sat down as if he had been helping when everything he did was mess with the cupcakes and eat one or two while he sat by the register. “Don’t lock yet. Angie, Eliza and Maria are on their way.”

“Oh, Eliza got here already?”

“Does she not have any classes on Fridays or what?”

Both, Gilbert and Hercules shrugged. The French wasn’t exactly in a position to criticize anyone who skipped classes to be with their significant other, after all. Though it was a little intriguing how the girl managed to be back in New Jersey early every Friday and wouldn’t leave until she had breakfast on Monday, but her parents were aware of it, so it couldn’t be that bad. Surely, not even her parents would allow it if she was being extremely irresponsible with her elite education, right? And not only her parents; Eliza had Angelica for a big sister. If there was anything she would never lack, was rational, brutal advice, for sure. Hercules then had the mind to get a piece of pie for each girl—and Alexander, so he wouldn’t complain.

“I think I’m going to start charging you for these, Hammy.”

Alexander hummed around a mouthful of pie. He looked so happy, Hercules couldn’t help to feel accomplished. It was always nice when people complimented his food, and his friends were never shy about it, but the only one who was perhaps louder than Alexander was Maria, and Hercules loved that about her. What he did not love, was how she would sometimes speak with her mouth full.

“Did anyone get their invitation yet?” asked Maria with her mouth full of pie.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to get them before October?” replied Eliza, as if she didn’t see her girlfriend who looked as attractive as a squirrel.

“I don’t know, man. Are we all getting one, or are some of us going to be the other’s plus one?”

“Well, Laurens is getting his, that’s for sure,” said Aaron, stealing a bit of Alexander’s pie, who gasped indignantly.

“Hey, you could invite your roommate.”

Laurens stared at Hercules as if he had grown another head. “Why in hell would I invite him? I literally just met him. He doesn’t even know Thomas or James.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Guys, Laurens is not bringing a date. Don’t judge him,” said Alexander as he stood up to get himself another piece of pie.

“Thank you!”

Aaron stood up too, stretched his arms over his head, and yawned. “Well, this was lovely, but I have to go. Bye, everyone.”

Everyone chanted their goodbyes in a different way. Alexander kissed him even though he was still glaring about his pie and whispered something about going soon.

“How much are the plane tickets anyway?” asked Maria.

Eliza hummed, cleaned her girlfriend’s face with a napkin and then gave her a brief peck on the lips. “I don’t know. We should all buy tickets together.”

“James and Thomas will probably take their car.”

“Then maybe we all could rent one, and go together,” suggested Hercules, and Alexander and Maria seemed to like the idea.

Angelica pursed her lips. “How many people are you considering in your little plan?”

“Well,” Hercules licked his lips, “Gil and I, John, Ham and Aaron, you… uh, is Peggy coming?”

“No,” said the sisters in choir.

“Okay,” Hercules swallowed. “Then we’re only eight!”

“Wait, we’re not taking George?” asked Laurens with a frown.

“Forget it,” Angelica crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair. “You guys can do it if you want, but I’m going in a plane, where I can go to the bathroom whenever I want and can ask for drinks and watch movies. If I take a car with you all I’d be uncomfortable and would have to listen to your music!”

Eliza chuckled. “Yes, it’s not exactly appealing.”

Laurens snorted. “You’re all weak. I’m in, Herc.”

They bumped their fists. “Cool.”

“I’m not in,” said Lafayette, grinning sheepishly. “I’m sorry, love, but…” he pointedly passed his eyes over Laurens and Hamilton, “no. There’s no way I’m spending six hours in a car with them.”

“Sorry guys. I guess I’m taking a plane too,” Hercules shrugged.

“I officially hate you,” said Maria, glaring at Lafayette.

Alexander sighed. “Yes. I guess there’s no point in renting a car if there’s only four of us…” he frowned and licked his lips. “Wait. Four is actually a reasonable number, isn’t it?”

“But are you sure Aaron will be down for it?”

“I can beg.”

“Yes!” Laurens cheered. “Thank you, brother, for giving up your pride for the cause.”

“He can get on his knees without giving up his pride though,” said Lafayette.

“Dude…” Laurens made a face, and everybody else laughed loudly.

“But I’ll ask him later. I mean, we still have time. It’s only September.”

It was the last Friday of September, but he was right. They still had time, and Alexander knew he could be convincing. He had convinced Aaron of paragliding with little to no effort. But then again, Aaron went around introducing him as a friend, even when he stayed an entire summer at his house, with his family, sleeping in his bed.

Aaron had never explained who that guy had been either.

Alexander wasn’t usually one to forgo an argument. Whenever a thought irked him, he never hesitated to express it to someone who could explain whatever he couldn’t grasp. But with Aaron it was different. With Aaron there was too much at stake. With Aaron he cared too much. So he didn’t ask. And before they knew it, November had arrived, and it came with a time to look for dresses and suits and presents.

“Why do we have to give them presents? Jefferson already has all this in his apartment.”

“Yes, but now James will be living with him and—”

“He practically lives there already.”

“Yes, but—”

“Do you think that if we give him an ugly couch he’ll donate it to charity? Nah, you’re right, he’s an asshole. He would probably simply throw it away.”

“Alexander…”

“But this is ridiculous, I mean, I don’t even have a place of my own, and I’m supposed to get them stuff they already have? I could use a fridge. You know that. Do you think we have space for a bigger fridge? No offense but there isn’t enough space in yours.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and pushed away the thought of how they simply didn’t have enough space, period. He liked his room, and he loved sharing it with Alexander. Sure, he always felt a little jealous at watching Thomas and James in their apartment, but didn’t everyone? It was nice and big. Besides, his uncle had told him to get an apartment _next year._ There simply was no need to mention it to Alexander when they couldn’t even look for one. His uncle might even regret it. Hell, they might even break up. Nothing was written on stone. Nothing but plane tickets. Plane tickets usually were like that.

The fact that Thomas and James had passionately opposed to join them had worried Aaron, who wasn’t very keen to the idea in the first place, but Alexander was even louder in his complaints after he heard Thomas had invited him to catch a ride with them. Alexander claimed he would never spend so many hours trapped in a car with Jefferson and how was Aaron seriously considering picking Jefferson over him?

After Aaron admitted that yes, he was indeed considering it, Alexander gasped indignantly and swore he wouldn’t talk to him again… for about three minutes. After he gave up, Aaron gave him a cookie for the effort and promised him he would go on the plane with him.

“Actually,” Alexander bit his bottom lip. “Maria, Laurens and I were thinking we could maybe rent a car?”

Aaron had been a little more than reluctant, but Alexander could be very convincing, and Maria would be there as well, just in case Laurens and Alexander became too much for him. He was only a little worried when they went to pick her up early on the morning of the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, to the Schuyler’s place. Normally, Maria never complained about how much she missed Eliza, and he never had seen them saying goodbye at the train station, so he was a little shocked they were that effusive.

Eliza hugged her tightly, and Maria allowed herself a moment to inhale the fragrance that would wash over her whenever they spent time together.

“I wish you were on the plane with us,” muttered Eliza.

“And I wish that you came on the car with me, but…” she eyed the people she would be sharing a car with, and grimaced. “Go. Save yourself. I love you. Don’t you forget about me, please.”

Eliza chuckled. “You’ll be fine, I’m sure. Alexander is not so bad, and you’ll have Aaron with you. Who’s driving?” whispered she.

“I think we’re taking turns,” she shrugged one shoulder and sighed. “Okay. They’re waiting for me. I gotta go. See you tonight.”

“Be careful!”

A road trip with Laurens and Alexander was as challenging as everyone had expected, and never before had Maria been so convinced Aaron was an otherworldly being with inexhaustible patience and a golden heart. She wasn’t so patient, and Laurens was not in love with any of them, so their banter was not easy to control once it started, but there was nothing some fast food and good music couldn’t fix. It was a good thing all four of them could sing, if not it was likely not all of them would’ve survived the journey, but somehow they did, and agreed not to think of the trip back. Maria just prayed it would magically be shorter.

The plane ride to Virginia was entertaining for the four that actually took a plane. They all knew how to behave, gratefully, and it wasn’t even that long. They were certainly looking a lot more refreshed than Thomas, who went to pick them up at the airport.

“You okay, man?” asked Hercules.

Thomas nodded first, and then quickly shook his head in a negative. “No. No I’m not. I hate my family. I hate flowers. I hate this country. And my hair is a mess!”

Angelica stared at him for a moment, with a look of disbelief. “I’m not going to argue about the hair, but dude, you always look that way. Let’s go. I’m sure it can’t be that bad.”

Well, she wasn’t wrong _per se_ , but the general state of his house—and his husband’s—was of _chaos_. Apparently, one of Thomas’s sister’s dresses had to be fixed at the last minute, there had been a confusion with the decoration and they were one centerpiece short, and no one could find the dolls for the cake—which had been bought four months in advance, and “no, Thomas, that is _not_ why they got lost. They’re not lost!” insisted his mother. Thomas did not agree with her.

In minutes, most of the guests from Princeton had ran away to the hotel in which they would be staying for the weekend, and hid. Because really, what else could they do? Nobody listened when Thomas called them cowards, and thankfully, the four that came in a rented car hadn’t arrived yet, or else, that passing comment probably would’ve generated an argument. They all agreed that neither Hamilton nor Laurens needed to know about it. They simply told them to go directly to the hotel to get ready, which everyone found reasonable enough.

“How do I look?”

Aaron bit his bottom lip and did what less than a year ago he hadn’t been allowed to. He placed his hands on the lapels of Alexander’s jacket and pulled him in for a kiss. “You look wonderful,” he confessed once they separated.

Alexander wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed their foreheads together. “Yeah?”

Aaron hummed. Just like before the Schuyler’s Christmas party, Alexander in a suit still took Aaron’s breath away. “Green ties really suit you.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “It’s my favorite color.”

“I know.”

Alexander grinned and brought his lips to one side of Aaron’s neck. “You look amazing,” he mumbled.

Aaron chuckled. “We’ll have to go soon.”

“How soon?” he slurred just as his fingers found their way underneath Aaron’s shirt, digging into the skin of his back.

“Too soon,” replied Aaron, though he wasn’t putting any effort on pushing his boyfriend away. Instead, he clutched to his shoulders and threw his head back to give Alexander more room to ravish his neck. “Don’t you dare leaving a mark though.”

Alexander hummed affirmatively and moved accordingly, not pressing his lips for too long on any particular spot and used one hand to squeeze his soulmate’s lovely ass, which made him chuckle lightly in that way that never failed to make Alexander horny. “Are you absolutely sure we don’t have time?”

Aaron sighed, and by the way he hesitated Alexander almost celebrated, but he didn’t get enough time, because just then there was a loud knock on the door followed by Lafayette’s cheerful tone saying: “You better be dressed, guys, because we’re leaving!”

Alexander groaned.

“Yes, we’ll go in a moment,” replied Aaron, looking just as disappointed as Alexander felt, but tried to smile. “Come on.”

“You’re not going to say _I told you so_?”

“I don’t need to. Come on.” He fixed his shirt and eyed Alexander. “How come I left you looking flawless and you practically ruined my shirt? We barely kissed for like, two minutes.”

Alexander shrugged one shoulder but couldn’t hide his grin. “I think I made you look better.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, passed one arm around Alexander’s elbow, and nodded towards the door. “Let’s go. I don’t want to be late. Thomas would never forgive us.” He purposefully ignored his boyfriend’s expression that seemed to be saying that he couldn’t care less and dragged him away. The church wasn’t too far, and they managed to get there early, and gratefully at a time where all chaos seemed to be over. Everyone seemed happy instead, and they went through the shortest introductions as they looked for their friends.

“Is everyone in his family so freaking tall?” asked Alexander in a whisper after they ran into a bunch of Jefferson’s.

Aaron shrugged. “Apparently.”

Alexander glared at his soulmate. “You should be with me on this. How are you not affected by them? I mean, aside from the fact that you were raised by a giant. We’re talking about a house full of giants here!”

“Raised by a—oh, you mean my aunt Rhoda. Yes, she’s tall.”

Alexander snorted. “She’s a giant.”

Aaron grinned and tangled their arms together again. “I never knew you had such complex with your height. That’s okay, baby, I don’t mind. We’ll always have problems reaching things on the top cabinets but hey, maybe we won’t need to use them.”

Alexander chuckled. “Yes, you’re right, that’s a good idea.”

“So you guys are already thinking about the place you’re going to get?” asked Hercules.

“What?”

“Well,” he exchanged a look with Gilbert and John, “you were, I mean, you two…”

“When you move out from the dorms. You already started talking about the place you’re going to get?”

“The place we’re going to, our, wait, what?”

“Dude.” Laurens’s eyes widened comically. “Really? You haven’t?”

They had been together for eight months. Was anyone supposed to start thinking about that so soon? Sure, they were soulmates, but Alexander knew that didn’t guarantee a lifetime together, even though he had no doubts he and Aaron would never break up. Still, they were only sophomores in college, and sure, they had shared a room for as long as they’d known each other, but getting an apartment together was a whole new level of commitment.

The kind of level that might make Aaron freak out.

Alexander didn’t have a problem with commitment itself. In fact, before he’d met Aaron, he always had imagined he would marry his soulmate within weeks of meeting them, but Aaron was different, and Alexander’s priority was to keep Aaron happy.

“Come on, we have to get in and sit. On what side are we supposed to go? I mean, we’re friends of both.”

Alexander snorted. “I’m going on James’s side, guys, definitely.”

Aaron nodded. “I met him first. It’s fair. Let’s go.”

Alexander chuckled and wasn’t capable of glaring convincingly after Lafayette and Hercules went to sit on the other side, but at least was capable of shutting up by the time the thing really started. He never had been to a wedding before, but he had seen enough on television. Needless to say, those weren’t the epitome of accuracy, but they didn’t get it all wrong. The whole part of ‘ _and today, you stand here to the eyes of God and Fate and tell them you have received their message and now commit to follow their wishes as you two are now partners in life, two halves of one soul, and will walk down the same road for as long as you breathe and think_ ’ was always the same, and just like each time he’d heard it, it brought butterflies to Alexander’s stomach.

It was just a little disheartening that, through their intertwined fingers, he realized Aaron had gone tense. He squeezed briefly, but his relief when Aaron squeezed back was not enough to appease his troubled heart.

All in all, the ceremony was beautiful. Thomas had to admit that missing out on something like that merely out of spite would’ve been ridiculous, childish and petty. But he didn’t regret doing what he did. He still rolled his eyes when they put on the rings they had already been wearing for four months, and when they were told they could kiss, Thomas made a show of wrapping one arm around James’s waist and holding the back of his head with his free hand and kissing him for a little longer than what was necessary, eliciting a few claps, cheers and whistles from the guests. He would’ve liked saying the only ones to blame were their friends from college, but sadly, their families were even louder, and he wasn’t even mad. He loved it. He loved the place they picked and the menu and even the seating was just right, and he even loved the cheesy toasts his sister Jane and Francis made. He feared for a moment that he might need to have a word with the DJ, but when the time came, he really couldn’t care less. He was happy. It was his wedding, and everyone around him seemed to be having fun. Everyone around him was celebrating, genuinely happy for them, and Thomas couldn’t ask for more. No one did. No one cared about the old people who happened to repeat as much as they could how it was the right thing to do because they were soulmates, or how they ridiculed all their past relationships, or how they were plain rude, because the best one can do with old people at times like those is to ignore them, especially when they’re someone else’s relative and they would never see them again. So the party went on without a single altercate, which, considering Hamilton was there, was impressive.

“Dance with me?” asked Aaron.

And Alexander went. Everyone had their issues. God knew Alexander had his. But whatever it was that went through Aaron’s mind during the mass, Alexander didn’t think it was enough to break them. “This is really nice,” muttered he.

Aaron hummed. “Parties are usually nice.”

“Everyone is happy. I don’t know why but I was expecting their families to be more like… I don’t know, different.”

“Really?”

Alexander shrugged. “It might be simply that I don’t like Jefferson, but his family is okay. It’s weird.”

“So you don’t mind that they’re giants anymore? Relax. I bet that if you were to have a complex ideologic discussion with one of them, you’d disagree.”

“I hope so!”

Aaron chuckled and shook his head, but they kept twirling around gracefully. “This is what weddings should be like, isn’t it?”

“Sally’s wasn’t like this?”

“She was happy, but…” he twisted his head to glance at the newlyweds. “But she wasn’t in love. People that aren’t in love shouldn’t get married.”

“A lot of people shouldn’t get married, but they still do. Getting married is too easy nowadays,” he grimaced. “I can’t believe it. You made me sound like a conservative douche.”

“That’s not on me!”

Alexander chuckled, but the nice sound extinguished soon. “You know what I mean, don’t you?”

Aaron thought of Alexander’s mother and nodded. In all honesty, he hated weddings and couldn’t imagine why anybody liked them, even when he’d just been in one where clearly everyone involved was happy.

He’d only ever been to Sally’s wedding before, and he’d hated it. Whenever there was a wedding on movies, he either skipped it or barely paid enough attention, but he still hated them. The whole part of ‘ _walking down the same road while you breathe and think_ ’, and ‘ _today, you become one, as Fate wishes you share everything as if you were a single body_ ’ never failed to send shivers down his spine in horror. That wasn’t what a complement should be. A complement is supposed to bring support, but they’re not a part of the other’s self. They’re partners. A team. Not two personalities inside one body.

He didn’t say any of this out loud. The possibility of Alexander disagreeing with him was too scary. He rested his cheek on his boyfriend’s shoulder instead, and simply enjoyed the music and their slow, synchronized sway.

Just a few feet from them, Maria was having the time of her life. Eliza looked beautiful, her friends were happy, and they would stay in a hotel for the rest of the weekend. It was like living a dream. It was so great she was scared what would come later. In a second, that one thought seemed to burst her bubble.

“What’s troubling you?” asked Eliza, always insightful.

Maria bit her bottom lip. “I’m just worried everything’s so great, something bad will happen. It’s silly, so don’t listen to me.”

The music that had been a low, romantic song changed abruptly to something faster, and they both turned in the direction of the loud gasp of an elder woman. Eliza chuckled and extended a hand to her girlfriend. “Dance with me?”

Maria grinned and forgot all about her worries as they spun around the room. There had been one or two moments in which she had been uncomfortable, but overall, she was enjoying herself, and loved seeing her friends so happy. Sure that the moment she noticed the piano was empty she immediately stopped dancing to let her girlfriend know, because if anything was even better than dancing with Eliza, was listening to her, knowing that her every word was dedicated to her. She didn’t even mind when she ran without a word of explanation.

“Alexander!” shouted Eliza, as soon as she saw him.

Alexander sighed, fondly exasperated. “Is that going to be her thing? Will she always interrupt us while we’re dancing?”

Aaron chuckled. “We’ve been dancing for a long time. I bet you even forgot we were at Thomas’s wedding.”

“And you just reminded me of it.”

“Alexander!” insisted the girl.

“What?”

“Come play with me,” she grabbed his hand, and was very clear in her friendly tone that she was not asking.

“What?”

“There’s a piano! Come on!” She dragged him away while Aaron watched in amusement. Once they were far enough that he couldn’t hear, she added: “And I know ‘ _What I’ve Been Looking For_ ’, by the way. Everyone’s drunk already. You should totally do it.”

Alexander stopped dead in his track. “What?”

She arched one eyebrow and gave him a cocky grin. “What? You’re scared?”

Alexander huffed. “I’m not _scared_. I just don’t think Aaron will find it as amusing as you do.”

Eliza didn’t look convinced but didn’t insist. She was sure one day she would get him drunk enough to try.

“Everyone seems to be having a great time,” commented James, completely oblivious of it all.

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Yes. You were right. This was not terrible.”

James pressed their foreheads together and smiled fondly. “I’m not saying I regret the weekend in Vegas. I loved it, and I would do it all over again.”

Thomas grinned and tightened the grip of his arms around James’s waist. “You would?”

James hummed. “Yes.”

When Eliza’s voice filled the room, it only made it better. Thomas almost didn’t want to check the time, and just kept dancing and drinking and laughing with whoever decided to approach him. The sixth time his sister did, though, he was a little tired and had decided to say no if she wanted to dance again. A little brother had his limits, and they were usually considerably shorter than the big sister’s.

“I’m sorry, but everything must come to an end, and they’re officially kicking us out,” she informed.

Thomas snorted, almost relieved. It was still a pity that the party was over, though. “It’s okay. Those guys might want to keep going at the hotel though.”

“I’ll tell them it’s time to go,” said James, sighing heavily.

Jane hummed. “Well, and where are you two going now? I hope you’re not thinking of staying at one of our houses. Get your own.”

“We can’t actually have a honeymoon right now. We have classes.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “We know that. That’s why we got you plane tickets for December. You leave the day winter recess begins and come back in the middle of the reading period.”

Thomas ran a hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly. “Thanks, sis.”

She hummed and patted him on the back. “You’re welcome, little bro. I’m sorry. I know we were a little bit much when you came this summer, but you got to understand we were all so happy about you two…”

“I know. I’m sorry too.” He sighed. “Well. I think James and I will stay with his parents tonight? You know, so we can have his mom’s breakfast in the morning.”

“You suck,” she chuckled. “Okay. Sure. That sounds good.”

It sounded great, to be honest. Thomas was exhausted, and he imagined so was James. They were already married. The whole ceremony and party was more about their friends and family than about their relationship. Sure, they would enjoy their time together, but it didn’t have to be that night. That night, they probably would fall asleep as soon as their heads touched their pillows, and James’s bed was extremely soft anyway. Besides, nothing could top his mom’s breakfast. Thomas loved his parents, but they just never cooked as good as James’s.

Saying goodbye that time was harder than all the other times. It should’ve been ridiculous. Things hadn’t changed that much. But when everybody hugged him goodbye, it felt a little bit more definitive. They would always be his family, and that house would always be his home, with his childhood bedroom and the treehouse in the backyard. But even though he could go back whenever he wanted to, three quarters of the year, he spent at his own apartment, in another state, with his husband.

He had a husband. He was married. To James.

Saying goodbye was always sad, yes, but the ride back to Princeton had never been sweeter.

The next two weeks passed by at an incredible speed, and before he knew it, they were on a plane headed for Indonesia, and he had a thousand stories in his head to keep James distracted in his seat between the hallway and Thomas, far away from any windows. He didn’t stop to think about their belongings once, because he trusted in his friends. Maybe if he would’ve known about Eliza’s plans for the winter break he would’ve thought twice about it, but he didn’t, so he went in peace.

In Princeton, one of his trusted friends didn’t have to think twice of a solution for her problem though. Thomas really didn’t have anything to worry about.

“Maria?”

“Hey, I kind of promised Thomas I would water his plants while he was on his honeymoon, but Eliza invited me to her place for the winter break, and though I know it’s really nearby…”

Aaron sighed. “Give me the keys. I’ll take care of it.”

“Thanks!” she bit her bottom lip. “They left yesterday, and I haven’t gone yet, so…”

“I’ll go today. Relax. I remember everything from the first Thanksgiving.”

She chuckled. “Oh, right. Well then, bye! You’re the best!”

He shook his head and went back inside. Alexander didn’t seem to have noticed the exchange at all, for he stayed reading on top of his bed, fully focused.

“I have to run to Thomas’s place to water his plants. I’ll be back soon.”

Alexander hummed, thinking of something crazy for a split second, but he caught his tongue just in time, and his soulmate didn’t notice. He pretended to keep reading until he thought it had been enough time, and then checked out the window and saw Aaron walking away. He sighed. He couldn’t help it. His friends’ words from before the wedding were still stuck in his head.

Surely, if he worded it just right, Aaron wouldn’t freak out much, right? He just had to play his cards right.

Still, he waited a few hours after Aaron came back. They ate dinner and watched a movie and even brushed their teeth before he felt like he could do it. And even then, he didn’t say anything, because when he was about to start he realized Aaron had already fallen asleep. So he waited until after breakfast the next day, while they both studied.

“When are you planning on leaving the dorms?” asked Alexander.

Aaron seemed surprised. “Uh, well, I’m not sure. Why?”

Alexander bit his bottom lip. “No reason.”

Aaron scratched the back of his head and looked away. It had been four months since his uncle talked to him. Long enough. He took a deep breath. “I guess… whenever you want. I mean, if you want. Move out. With me, I mean. My uncle even said he would pay for whatever place we chose.”

Alexander narrowed his eyes. “As long as we do it together?”

Of course Alexander would focus on the phrasing and not what he really was proposing. “He didn’t say that. It didn’t sound like an order at all, more like… permission. Like the fact that you and I would move in together wasn’t something he had to worry about. He just assumed we would.”

Alexander hummed. “Then I guess…” he licked his lips, “that could be fun. Look for an apartment together, I mean. Right?”

“It sounds like a lot,” admitted Aaron. There was a hurricane inside his stomach and he worried he might throw up. “But,” he swallowed and pushed away most of his distressing thoughts. He focused on one in particular. “I don’t think I would know how to properly wake up without a coffee made by you.”

Alexander snorted. “I don’t think you _know_ how to make coffee. You’re completely dependent of me in the morning. You’re right. We have to do this.”

Alexander was right. Aaron didn’t even know how he liked his own coffee anymore. He always had found it hard to wake up when he slept soundly and had gotten used to it, to not needing his full attention and be spoiled for a little while every morning. The idea of Alexander being there was not overwhelming. The idea of looking for a place they could make their own…

“Wait,” he cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh… the reason I was delaying it too was because, well, you plan to go to Harvard, right?” That meant, whatever place they chose, they would only stay there for two years. Two years he could manage. Two years. Not a lifetime.

“Oh. Yeah…”

He nodded. “And after law school, you told me you wanted to go back to New York City.” Three more years. Three years in which Aaron didn’t know where life would take him, and then, uncertainty.

“Yeah.”

Aaron bit his bottom lip. Uncertainty was scary. “I’ve never been to New York City.”

Alexander’s eyes widened in surprise. “Never?”

Aaron shook his head.

Alexander gasped and jumped from his bed to Aaron’s. “Then we have to go!”

“What?”

“Yes.” He grabbed Aaron’s hands in his. “We have to go. Let’s go for a weekend. We can get together with Eliza. Go see a play. See if you like it. Come on, it’ll be like a fieldtrip.”

“A fieldtrip.”

“We have two more years here. Then normally three in Boston. But if you like New York, that’s a lifetime we could look forward there.”

A lifetime together.

The room suddenly got warmer. His head got lighter. It hurt. Aaron swallowed. “Okay. A fieldtrip. It sounds fun.”

It sounded like uncertainty, but Alexander’s smile was blinding, and Aaron tried to commit it to memory so he could draw it later.

It was too bad it wasn’t deafening too, to drown out the loud bangs of the drums in his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this far, I hope you liked it! More is coming is soon, I promise!


	9. Good advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow updates are still updates, right?

New York City. The first three words to one of his favorite songs of one of the best musicals of the 90’s. And he agreed with the rest of it too, it really felt like it was the center of the universe.

Alexander loved New York City. It was the first place he called home after he left the island. And maybe it was a little too cold, and a little too big, but he had been alone for a long time, and it was also nice that the cops didn’t know him. But aside from what it meant for him, for all the memories it brought and what it represented—a beginning, independence, anonymity, liberty of choice—he genuinely liked the city. He liked the crazy traffic and the tall buildings and the incessant noise, the _life_ there. He loved it. And when he decided he was going to become a lawyer, he decided too that he would one day live in the Upper West Side. In his dreams, he always hoped one day he and his soulmate would make their lives there. He could hardly believe it was so close to becoming a reality.

He stopped that train of thought, though. He knew the rules with them were different. He couldn’t simply rely on the fact that they were soulmates. They would have to be together for a long time to even consider going a little further, he knew that.

But he didn’t care. Living together, or getting married in the future, he could worry about that later. A fieldtrip to perhaps his favorite place on earth? That was something worth losing sleep for. And it wasn’t even about planning to hope it would be perfect, because he knew it would be. He knew New York City would still take his breath away the same way Aaron’s smile or voice did, and he knew even in the cold Aaron would love walking down Central Park and maybe ice skating, just like he could picture him in summer taking his time to draw every tree. And though he normally wasn’t a fan of Aaron paying, he wouldn’t complain if Aaron invited him to watch a different play every night, and if he wanted to go shopping Alexander wouldn’t hesitate before dragging him to all the stores he couldn’t even enter when he’d been fifteen years old and living in a crappy studio with five roommates in Harlem.

Alexander had planned on going for the winter recess, but he wasn’t counting on Aaron’s aunt and uncle visiting.

“They what?” asked Alexander, dropping his fork on top of his plate. They had been eating in bed, while watching a movie, just a usual Thursday night, when Aaron told him.

“They’re taking us out for dinner on Christmas. They’re staying at a hotel.”

“For how long?”

“I don’t know, Alexander. I’m sorry.”

Alexander sighed and passed his left arm around Aaron’s shoulders. “No.” He picked up his fork and played with his food. He wasn’t hungry anymore. “I am. I know it’s not your fault. It’s okay. It’s just dinner. We lived with them for three months. It’s not going to be that terrible, even if they stayed the whole break.”

Aaron groaned and threw his head back. “God, no. They’ll go sooner. There’s no way they’re staying the whole break. Right?”

Alexander kissed his temple. “I have no clue. But we’ll survive.” They should. The couple was insufferable, yes, and the fact that _they_ would be the ones visiting also meant Alexander’s patience would probably be considerably shorter, which was never a good thing. “Wait, does that mean I have to get them something?”

Aaron giggled. “Mine will be from both of us, don’t worry.”

Alexander sighed in exaggerated relief and tried to focus again on the movie. He had missed a big scene, apparently, because nothing made sense, so he gave up. He checked if Aaron was still eating, watched him take his final bite, and immediately put the plates away, deciding that ravishing his boyfriend was the only solution to increase both of their moods. He wasn’t wrong. Their moods increased considerably.

Still, a few days later, while preparing for dinner with the damned couple, Alexander wondered if cutting off that conversation there had been a mistake.

For most of the summer, Alexander’s main antagonist had been Rhoda, probably due to the fact that Timothy left for work every day and whenever he told Aaron to do something, he did it in the form of advice. Rhoda didn’t, she just ordered him around. But Timothy always made it all sound so reasonable, one almost felt stupid by doing anything differently. That was what made him so dangerous. That was why even now he still controlled Aaron’s life.

Sitting across from that man on a nice table on a fancy restaurant, Alexander struggled to not fall for it as well. They had exchanged presents when they met at the couple’s hotel, and the obviously very expensive watch they got him felt exaggeratedly heavy on his pocket; even though he told himself it couldn’t be a metaphor, it was way too symbolic to be casual, and the smile on the man’s face only made his insides turn. He wondered how often he made Aaron feel that way. Then he tried to forget it as he realized he probably did it every time they met. Damn the bald guy. At least he was good with conversation, and the coat and hat Aaron had gotten the man from both of them also seemed to help, so the night wasn’t as terrible as it could have been. He was nevertheless delighted once it was over.

“Well, this has been fun, boys, but we have to catch a train in the morning.”

“You’ll go so soon?”

“Yes. We just wanted to wish you boys a merry Christmas,” said Rhoda, who had drunk perhaps a little too much and was now swaying in her feet.

“Thanks. Let me walk you back to your room, auntie.”

“Alexander.”

“Huh?” He’d been hoping the man would go up with them, and Alexander would only need to wait for Aaron alone in the lobby, relaxed and free, but he was wrong, because Timothy had stayed, only to talk to him about who knows what.

“This past summer we didn’t get to talk much about your plans.”

“My plans?” They had. Alexander had told them all about his plans to become a lawyer and one day open his own law practice.

“With my nephew.”

Oh. No. They hadn’t discussed that. Alexander cleared his throat. “Well sir,” he hid his fidgeting fingers in the pockets of his pants. Not the ones of his coat, where he could touch the expensive gift. “Honestly, I just want,” ‘ _to be with him for as long as he’ll have me’_ “to share the rest of my life with him.” He wasn’t lying. He just wasn’t as delusional as to give it for granted.

Timothy hummed and nodded. “I’d like that too. You’re good to him. You make him happy.”

“He makes me happy, too.”

Timothy gave him a look that seemed to be saying he couldn’t care less, with his arched eyebrow and lopsided smile. “That’s good,” he said, nevertheless. “That’s why you two should get an apartment next year. We’ll pay for it, so don’t worry about the money.”

Didn’t Aaron, as the sole heir of the Burr family, own half the city of Princeton anyway? That thought kept Alexander from processing the weight of what the man had just told him for a second, but eventually, it really dawned on him. “Sir, that’s…”

“You can’t stay in campus for the rest of your lives. You should start to figure out what the real world is like. Besides, those dorms are so small. Each of you should have your own space.”

Alexander hated that the man had that ability of making everything he said sound reasonable and practical. It made those who heard him want to follow his advice. It irritated him, because that was a man used to be obeyed without question. It irritated him because he had no right of directing Aaron’s life like that. But he swallowed his anger and nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

“That’s okay, boy. I already told Aaron anyway. I’m sure he likes the idea.”

As if he cared if Aaron liked anything he told him to do. Aaron would just do it, like he did everything else. Every single thing, no matter how small.

With a start, a dark realization hit him, sucking the air out of him and clouding the part of his mind that had been thriving with optimism lately.

What if the only reason Aaron had suggested getting an apartment together was because his uncle had told him to? He said his uncle had been confident to assume it would happen and didn’t try to order Aaron to do it, but what if he had lied? Most likely scenario, the man had told him pretty much the same thing he told Alexander, which to Aaron would be more than a suggestion and he knew it. He knew it. In a matter of seconds, his fears went from being a possibility to a painful reality, and he didn’t know what to make of it. Did that meant that moving in together would be a mistake? Would Aaron regret it eventually? Could it send them through a path they couldn’t return from? Maybe it wouldn’t. It wasn’t like having _more_ space for each would put a strain on their relationship—but then again, things like bills _could_. That, and the unanswered questions in Alexander’s mind, were dangerous things that ought to be discussed, but he had no intention to. He just wanted to enjoy his break. He wanted to be lazy; to lay on bed with his soulmate, to eat and read and play around naked, talking only about the news or some show or to praise the way the other’s body felt. And for a couple of days that was everything they did, and he loved it. He loved it so much that the minute he noticed Aaron intended to talk about something more serious he tensed.

“Alexander…” muttered Aaron, whose fingers on the mousepad had frozen after they chose a new movie to watch.

“Yeah?”

“We still have one week left of recess. How about we go to New York City the day after tomorrow, and stay until Sunday?”

Alexander grinned and showered his soulmate’s face with kisses. Even if he couldn’t know if Aaron really wanted to get an apartment with him, or if he was simply following his uncle’s orders, Alexander wouldn’t miss out on an opportunity of showing him around New York City.

They arrived around noon, with enough time to check in their hotel before going out for lunch. Aaron had agreed to let Alexander show him around as long as he prepared a complete itinerary that they could follow, and he complied; not without some reticence at first—they didn’t need one, of course. Alexander could come up with all their entertainment on the spot, depending on their moods, but Aaron insisted too much. Still, he hadn’t picked a place to eat just then, because there were many restaurants near their hotel and he figured Aaron should decide that sort of thing, since most of the time everything else would be up to Alexander.

“What about there?” inquired Aaron, pointing at a random restaurant.

Alexander took one look at the establishment and paled. “Uh…”

“Come on,” Aaron grabbed his hand and led him inside.

Alexander considered protesting, but it was their first meal there, and he already had decided it would be up to Aaron. He figured they could throw away some money that one time, if they only were more careful during the rest of the trip. But then he saw the menu. There were no prices there.

“Don’t worry about the money,” replied Aaron, completely unfazed. Just like his uncle would say about the apartment.

Alexander swallowed and tried to smile. He knew he didn’t quite manage. “You don’t have to pay for everything, you know? I do have a job, and very little expenses.”

“Yes, but you work hard for it. You should only spend it on things you really want.”

“And I really want to eat.”

“In here?” Aaron held Alexander’s hand on top of the table. “I didn’t do anything to earn my money, aside from surviving eighteen years.”

“Considering eleven of those were with your aunt and uncle, I would say you did plenty.”

Aaron chuckled and shook his head. “Let me spoil you? That’s the least I could do.”

Could he be considered a gold digger if his soulmate just happened to be disgustingly rich?

“Just while we’re here. Back in Princeton you can buy us dinner every night if you want, until we graduate.”

Alexander snorted. “Thanks, but you could pay from time to time there too, I won’t mind.” He would let Aaron pay. It was okay, if that meant he would be able to get him something great for his birthday. Besides, most of the places he wanted to show Aaron were free, like the High Line or Bryant Park, or at least counted with students’ tariffs which were actually affordable. Alexander loved New York City, and he loved to be back, but moreover, he loved having Aaron by his side. He never thought he could be a good tourist guide, but he would do his best for his soulmate.

And in the late hours, as they fell asleep in each other’s arms, in a corner of Alexander’s mind, that optimistic part of him liked to think that maybe that was what a honeymoon would be like, and that maybe, just maybe, in the faraway future, he could compare it with the actual thing. Because really, he couldn’t know what a honeymoon was really like. Movies never got honey moons right, though there wasn’t even that many in the first place. They usually just mentioned them as something that people did, but to cover them? They hardly ever did it. Still, the few pictures James had seen growing up couldn’t be compared to the real deal; travelling through Bora Bora with Thomas, with rings in their fingers and _arguing every minute of every day_ for a month was _not_ what he’d been expecting.

It wasn’t that they never argued in the past. They certainly did, but they were also very quick to settle things. They knew each other well enough, and neither liked arguments too much, nor making the other feel bad, so they usually cooperated to reach an agreement shortly. But it was different when they were stressed. And travelling, although entertaining and fascinating, was always stressful, especially when one visited faraway lands with little to no one being fluent in English. Thomas was fluent in French, but James wasn’t, and the locals’ accent didn’t help either. Sure, they were used to tourists and were usually nice and willing to share their culture and help with directions, but it was still overly complicated to move around and reach each of their destinations in time for the activities Thomas had planned in their perhaps overly full itinerary, especially since public transportation was basically nonexistent and the car they rented was perhaps not the best option—‘ _What is wrong with the windows, love?_ ’ had asked James, objectively speaking at a bad time, since Thomas had been arguing with the salesperson that insisted that whatever tariff Thomas had seen on the internet was wrong, which was a lie; so they had concluded the windows didn’t work, when in reality they only had been blocked. Still, they spent three weeks battling with the air conditioner until they accidentally discovered what had been wrong. Bicycles probably would’ve been a better idea, if only their schedule had allowed it, but each day they were supposed to leave their hotel about eight in the morning and none of them felt like biking, and nothing really assured that there would’ve been less fighting from a bike. In fact, it was probably a good thing there had been a door and an eternally closed window keeping Thomas away from other reckless drivers, because the amount of time James had to grab his arm and go:

“Thomas, please, calm down.”

Thomas would sigh and stop glaring at whoever had almost hit them on the road or something similar. “I know. I’m sorry.”

James would shake his head and smile weakly. “It’s okay. Just stop. It’s not worth it.”

“Yeah, I know.”

And they would continue their way with little time and crippled with nerves, which didn’t help that time they fed sharks or when James tripped and almost fell to his death at Mount Otemanu, but surely it didn’t ruin their visit to the Coral Gardens or the spa. All in all, they had a good time, but it was good to be back in Princeton, where incredibly they seemed to be having a lot more sex a lot more often than in their damn honeymoon.

“You know there are ungrateful people, and then there’s you, right?” asked Hercules with his hands draped around his mug of hot chocolate once they were done retelling their trip. By his side, Lafayette laughed cheerfully.

“You weren’t there, you’ll never get it,” replied Thomas. “The air conditioner was either too intense, enough to give us headaches, or completely useless. We were either inside an oven or a fridge. There was no in-between.”

James hummed and nodded. “I know we were at a beautiful place and all, but when you’re either sweating like a pig or freezing, the view goes to a second place.”

“No, it doesn’t,” argued Alexander, staring at them like they were crazy. “Rich people, man…” he shook his head and sighed.

“Talking about rich people, your boyfriend just texted me saying that he won’t be free for at least another hour, so,” Thomas stood up, “I think I’ll go to our place and have a nap or something. I’m tired. If you don’t want to come tonight I’d totally get it, Hamilton, it won’t offend me.”

Alexander rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, I have things to do, so I’m not going.”

“Great.”

A younger—or a more rested—James would’ve apologized on his husband’s behalf, but Eliza wasn’t coming either, so if he was honest, he was also happy that Alexander wouldn’t come. He liked him, sure, but it had been a while since it was just the four of them, and the rest seemed to get it too. It wasn’t like they invited James and Thomas every time they hanged out, and that wasn’t offensive nor anything. He also knew that the three guys would stay at that very same table talking for hours after they left, might even talk about them, so he simply smiled and waved a hand in goodbye, thinking only of his bed and finally closing his eyes. Maybe joining the guys for lunch on their way from the airport hadn’t been a good idea. He was exhausted. But the weather made the perfect excuse to cuddle a little before Aaron and Maria came for dinner, so that was nice.

“James looked really tired,” commented Hercules, still looking at the door in which they had disappeared. Most students weren’t back yet, so the place was rather empty for a Sunday early afternoon.

“Yeah…” mumbled Alexander, distractedly playing with the fries he hadn’t eaten.

“Hey. What is it?”

“Aaron loved New York.”

“He did? That’s good! Right?”

“Yeah, it’s wonderful.”

Lafayette frowned. “Alexander?”

Alexander bit his bottom lip. “I was just thinking… Columbia is just as good as Harvard, right? And I don’t even know if I’m going to get in.”

“Sure? Alexander…”

“I just don’t know what Aaron is planning on doing after. He never talks about grad school. But he liked New York.”

“Alexander…”

“You’re right. You’re right. This is just… whatever. I still have over two years to think about it.”

That was not what Lafayette wanted to say. He sighed. “Why don’t you just talk to Aaron?”

Alexander shook his head. “No. Uh-huh. I can’t discuss this with him.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t tell him I’m planning my whole life around him, he’d freak out!”

“Maybe not. You guys have been together for about ten months now, haven’t you? He’s probably more comfortable now.”

“Yeah, but what if he isn’t? What if he’s really just… having a good time, and chooses not to think of the future? If I bring it up… I don’t know. I’m not risking it.”

“So what? Do you expect to get to your tenth anniversary and say you could maybe consider getting married? Alexander…”

“Who’s talking about marriage? We’re sophomores in college! People don’t get married in college!”

“Soulmates do.”

“Yes, but Aaron doesn’t live his life according to that logic. He’s seen it fail too many times. He hates it. If anyone were to use that argument on him they’d be getting the opposite, for sure.”

“Well,” Lafayette licked his lips and tilted his head to one side, considering, “then don’t talk about that, of course. But you’ve always shared a room. It’s only logical you get a place together, right?”

Right? It all sounded so nice when it came out of Lafayette’s mouth. But Alexander knew better. He knew that some actions had powerful connotations, and more important, he knew Aaron. He was certain he knew him better than Lafayette or Hercules did. But knowing someone is not enough when conversation is avoided, and Alexander was willing to avoid that sort of conversation for as long as he could. And honestly, if they lasted ten years the way things currently were, he would consider himself lucky.

Thus, he wouldn’t simply discard Harvard when he had no idea what Aaron wanted for the future, but he _would_ make sure to send an application later to every Law School in New York City, and would busy himself with making those as impressive as he could manage. Because no matter what anyone told him, he couldn’t be lazy. He couldn’t risk not being good enough; he had to be remarkable. And honestly, he was running out of ideas to fill that description, which only meant that when Professor Washington approached him one afternoon after class, he nearly shouted with excitement and hugged the stoic man, who then probably would’ve reconsidered his offer, and so, Alexander had to keep his enthusiasm down as much as he could. Once he was done, he was rightfully impressed with himself. Spending so much time with Aaron surely was paying off.

He just winced a little, involuntarily, when he got the email with his new schedule. He would have to make some arrangements, not so much with his classes, but with his friends. But at leas that meant he had an excuse to go and tell them all about it right away—well, right away after his other two classes of the day. He had to admit that his Wednesdays were a little overloaded, but he could take it. By now, the feeling that he never had enough time was more than familiar to him, even with the breaks he’d taken. Because it was true that Aaron gave him many luxuries, and time was one of them, but he could only accept them in those odd instances that didn’t feel like real life, not during the semester. During the semester, he couldn’t lose the habit—nor the benefits—of working hard.

When he got to Hercules’s restaurant, the place was still open but empty, which wasn’t surprising for a Wednesday at eight thirty. In fact, he was about to close which explained the deadly glare he sent his way when he opened the door.

Alexander raised his arms as if that could protect him. He wasn’t, after all, there to eat. “Hey guys, how’s it going?”

Lafayette waved a hand but didn’t raise his head from where it was resting on his folded arms. It looked like he’d been waiting for his boyfriend to close for a while now.

Hercules shrugged one shoulder and redirected his attention to the machine he’d been operating before. “It was a slow day, so I’m glad it’s over. What brings you here though?”

Alexander shifted in his feet, wishing he didn’t have to do it. “I know I told you I wanted the same schedule as last semester, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it on Friday nights. Do you think I could only come on Saturdays and Sundays?”

Hercules sighed. “Sure, man. But why? You should’ve told me before the semester started. I got all the shifts ready with you in the kitchen on Friday night.”

“I’m sorry, but…” he bit his bottom lip, but his grin escaped anyway, “I got another job. In school. With Professor Washington.”

Lafayette gasped and straightened. “What? Oh, Alex, congratulations! That is so cool! I thought he didn’t take undergrads?”

“Normally he doesn’t, except for one or two seniors every semester, but he offered it to me after class today.”

“That’s great, man.” Hercules gave him a sincere smile as he closed the cash register. “But are you sure you want to keep working on the weekends then? You sure you can?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he nodded. “I feel like celebrating even. What do you guys say? We could go to that club—”

“I’m sorry, Alex dear, but we have date-night tonight.”

“Oh. Okay, cool. Where’s Laurens?”

“Oh, he’s actually staying in his dorm tonight.”

“What? Why?”

Hercules shrugged.

Lafayette rolled his eyes. “He said it’s because tonight is a slow day and he wanted to give us some intimacy. Besides, he’s busy with some new banners. I don’t want to think too much of it. I know his roommate is a cool guy, but, well, it’s Laurens, you know?”

Alexander nodded. “Yeah, whatever. Have fun, you lovebirds.” He was only a tiny bit disappointed, but it was okay. He couldn’t blame them for already having plans; it was rather late. And they weren’t his only friends; there were other people he would love to celebrate with. He called Aaron right then on the street. “Hey, are you in the mood for anything tonight? I was thinking maybe—”

“ _Oh,_ ” Aaron interrupted him, which was never a good sign, “ _actually, I’m still working on the new banners. I’m not sure when we’ll be done. I’m sorry._ ”

Alexander sighed. “Don’t worry. That’s okay. Is Laurens with you?”

“ _Yeah. He says hi. I’ll call you as soon as I’m done here, okay?_ ”

“Yeah, don’t worry. Have fun. Don’t work too hard. And tell Laurens to fuck off for stealing you again.”

“ _I’ll tell him… yeah, he says to fuck you too,_ ” he sounded like he was seriously questioning all his life choices. “ _Don’t worry, I’ll do it,_ ” he added clearly to the people on his side of the phone. “ _Alright, I got to go. I love you._ ”

“I love you too.”

The call ended, and Alexander stopped walking to ponder his options. He didn’t have many. It wasn’t like he could cook anything in his room, and that was quite a limitation, and whatever he got for himself had to be something that would still be edible in a while, when Aaron arrived. He settled for a pizza, even though he wasn’t in the mood for one, and ended up wasting a lot of time watching videos in YouTube—because eating pizza while writing essays was problematic. The problem was that then he was done eating and he didn’t start working right away, which was just more than reprehensible. But he couldn’t stop; he was supposed to be celebrating. And in a way, by rebelling against himself like that, he was. He still felt a little guilty when Aaron found him about three hours later and he was still watching humor sketches.

“Hey,” muttered Aaron, visibly surprised.

“Hi. I got pizza.”

“Cool.” He crawled on the bed in between Alexander and the wall and received the plate he handed him with a grateful smile. “What are you watching? Oh, that one’s fun.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s all your fault. But I can’t be mad at you, so now I’m mad at Laurens. Sucker should get himself another assistant. Aren’t you guys supposed to be part of a commission? How come it’s always just the two of you?”

“We weren’t alone, actually.”

“What?”

“Laurens invited his roommate. Remember he’s another art major. It was a good thing; he helped a lot.”

Alexander narrowed his eyes and hummed, making his suspicion clear.

Aaron rolled his eyes. “To my knowledge, there’s nothing between them. I mean, I could be wrong. But I seriously doubt there’s anything else going on. I mean, it’s _Laurens_.”

Well, his soulmate had a point. Alexander nodded. “Okay. I’ll believe you. I don’t want to talk about Laurens’s love life of all things anyway. Although… you had fun, right?”

“Sure,” he mumbled around a mouthful of pizza. A mushroom had fallen off onto the plate, and Alexander stole it for himself under Aaron’s unimpressed gaze. “Why?”

“And didn’t you tell them you were considering taking an art class?”

“No, Alexander, I didn’t. Why would I?” He shook his head and licked his lips. “Look, I love that you care so much about it, but could you just… forget it?”

“What?”

“Just… I’m never going to stop drawing, sure, but I don’t have to study it to enjoy it, right? And taking a class is just…”

“What?”

“It’s such a waste of time!”

Four heartbeats passed, in which Alexander didn’t say anything, and Aaron didn’t take another bite. Alexander just stared at him in disbelief. Then, softly, he asked: “When did you even tell him anything about it?”

There was no question who Alexander meant. “I didn’t.”

“Bullshit.”

“I didn’t!”

“Then why is he still in your head?”

Timothy Edwards was always in his head. Did he not get it? He was there behind every decision Aaron made. “He just…” he swallowed and considered lying. He hadn’t told Alexander when it happened for a reason. “He just gave me a list of what courses I should take this year.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Aaron shrugged. “We were about to leave. And most of the things in the list I had already considered.”

“Not all of it.”

“No. It was a ridiculously long list. There was no way I could include all of them.”

“But you included most of it. And to be able to do it, you discarded _Contemporary_ _Art_. Again.”

“Professor Stuart is still going to be here next year. Alexander… if I got time to spare, I’ll consider it. But could you not…?”

Alexander sighed and grabbed Aaron’s face to drop a kiss on his forehead. “I won’t stop reminding you. I can’t promise you that. But you need to know that no matter what I say, I’m on your side, and the ultimate choice _is_ yours. Only yours.”

And his uncle’s, who was the one paying for it, and who always knew best. Aaron nodded. He just wanted Alexander to drop it, and to finish his pizza, even though he wasn’t hungry anymore. That was something they would never agree on. And honestly, he liked the way he organized his classes for the semester. Sure, it hadn’t been what he’d had in mind before, but it turned out okay. His schedule was only overwhelming on Tuesdays, but Thursdays and Fridays were a thing of wonders, in which his day started at a reasonable hour and ended early, which was kind of a miracle, especially when he compared it to Alexander’s ridiculously busy week, which he blamed for his increasing irritability conforming the semester advanced.

“Did you already pick a present for James’s birthday?”

“What?” Alexander closed the book he had just finished to read in order to begin one of the many essays he had due for next week. “Babe, we already gave them so much for their wedding. Can’t we ignore their birthday this year?”

“Thomas’s is next month. You can ignore that one if you want.”

Alexander sighed and simply lied back on his bed, exhausted.

“If you want I can say mine is from both of us.”

“No, thank you,” replied Alexander, through gritted teeth. That might have been alright for his aunt and uncle because he couldn’t care less, but not with his friends. His friends would know right away that Alexander had just been lazy. They weren’t a package. They weren’t a marriage. And Alexander had two fucking jobs, he could afford buying his own fucking presents.

“Okay. Just remember he’s allergic to a bunch of stuff, in case you’re thinking about food.”

“I know.”

Aaron hadn’t raised his eyes from his computer before. He did then. “Okay.” He licked his lips. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes.”

Aaron wasn’t stupid. He knew Alexander was angry, and he suspected it had to do with money, but didn’t have the least idea of what to do about that, so he ignored it and pretended he couldn’t tell. He wished it were that easy to keep it away from his own head, but it wasn’t. Especially not when he was trying to pick a present for Alexander.

“You weren’t this stressed about his birthday,” commented Maria, looking bored. “Why the big deal?”

“We’re supposed to exchange presents this time. I don’t want to spend too much and make him feel like he didn’t get me something good enough.”

“Well, you weren’t this stressed for Christmas either!” She ran a hand through her hair and studied the price tag of another book. “It’s just an anniversary. Why don’t you get him a nice photograph? Or a drawing?”

“It’s our _first_ anniversary, and…” he bit his bottom lip, “I don’t know.

 I just feel like it should be special, but not a source for trouble. And I think that money with Alexander is going to be a sore subject for a while,” he sighed.

Maria rolled her eyes. “Boys are so stupid sometimes, I swear.” She passed an arm around his shoulders and dragged him outside. “If you think money is a problem, then don’t buy him anything. If you want it to be special, then plan something _different_ to celebrate. Cook something. Try bondage. I don’t know!”

Words weren’t Maria’s forte, but she did have a point. Maybe presents weren’t the answer. They certainly weren’t what could make an evening special. He just wished he were a more creative person, or that at least his creative friends weren’t friends with the guy he was trying to surprise, because they were terrible liars.

“I’m never telling Laf a secret after this, I’m telling you,” mumbled Laurens exactly nine days before the big night.

They all had lunch at Hercules’s restaurant, and Alexander had left first because he had to work.

Also, Lafayette had almost told him exactly what Aaron was planning.

“You’re not any better,” replied the French, glaring at Laurens, who was a little of a hypocrite because when trying to help, only made it worse.

“Seriously, it’s a miracle Ham hasn’t figured it out yet,” said Hercules, giving Aaron a sympathetic look. “At least, there’s only a week left.”

“Yeah…” a week left, and he wasn’t anywhere near ready. He was afraid that the closer the day got, the meaner he was to Alexander, which was more than a little counterproductive, but his boyfriend still showed no sign of noticing what was going on.

He still joined him on his single bed every night, wrapping his arms around him even when he always complained that Aaron was like a human octopus, kissing the back of his neck and murmuring the highpoints of his day until one of them fell asleep—usually Aaron. That Friday night though he had other, far more pressing matters to discuss.

“Our first anniversary is coming.”

Aaron’s breath hitched, and he was glad Alexander couldn’t see his face. “Yeah…”

“It’s kind of a big deal. What do you want to do?”

“Well… I don’t know. It’s Sunday, right? You have to work.”

“Yeah… but I could try to get out early. Herc would get it, if I ask nicely.”

“But you’ll be tired, won’t you?”

“We have to at least eat out, babe.”

Did they? Did they _need_ to go to unnecessary lengths to commemorate something that, although very special, was their merit? Shouldn’t they just _need_ to _reward_ each other?

Alexander sighed. “Or not. Whatever. I don’t know.”

He was clearly disappointed, and Aaron felt terrible about it, but maybe it was a good thing if he thought Aaron didn’t want to do anything. That way, he could surprise him and be confident nothing would ruin his plan, sure that Alexander wouldn’t make plans on his own. He had earned that break, and Aaron wanted to spoil him a little bit, since he wasn’t going to get him anything expensive for a present. But he still felt pretty shitty for letting him think that their first anniversary didn’t mean as much as it did. He spent the entirety of the next week avoiding any long conversations with Alexander, which was thankfully not so hard due to his crazy schedule, and then only made sure to hug him very tightly at night to try to keep him from getting any ideas about the importance of their relationship or whatever. Really, the best part of Alexander being so busy was that it was harder for him to overthink stuff. Though judging by his face when he got to their room that Sunday night, he probably had done some overthinking; otherwise, the relief and surprise there wouldn’t have been so huge.

“What…?”

“Happy anniversary. I hope it’s not much? I know you’re tired, so I thought we should just stay here.” That didn’t mean their room had to look like it did every day. It hadn’t been easy, but he got rid of his single bed to get enough space for a nice table and filled every shelf with candles and every surface with rose petals. He was honestly quite proud of himself. And of Thomas, but he wouldn’t tell Alexander just then that their whole dinner had been cooked by him. He would let him enjoy it first.

“Aaron…”

“You don’t like it?”

“Are you kidding me? I love it!” He finally crossed the few steps that separated them, cupped Aaron’s face in his hands, and kissed him. “I love you. You’re the best.”

“I’m sorry I was so vague this last week. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“It’s fine. This is perfect.”

Aaron nodded. “It’s just you and me tonight.” Just the two of them with the candles, the music, the flowers’ perfume, and the photo album Aaron had built with the help of Alexander’s best friends. He could see that Alexander could barely believe it all, with the way his watery chuckle broke out of him before he handed Aaron his own present.

“Now I know why those idiots insisted I had to give you something handmade, those suckers…”

It had been nice of them, and Aaron would thank them later, for making sure the dessert was done by Alex—which was perhaps the most delicious chocolate cake Aaron had ever tasted—and for somewhat pushing Alexander into it without giving everything away, which was impressive coming from them.

“I couldn’t help myself, so I still got you this.” A beautiful leather wallet, brown and simple, like the sort of thing Aaron liked, which was the most thoughtful detail. He knew Alexander wouldn’t be caught death with an accessory as plain and boring, that wasn’t his style at all, but it was Aaron’s, and so, it was the one he got for him.

Yes, Aaron was still at times afraid of losing himself because of the whole soul-partnership or whatever the hell they were supposed to have, but what was the point when he was by far a better self when he was with Alexander? Maybe he simply should let himself go. It wasn’t like he had much experience with making a path for himself and following it. He was used to having a guide, even if he had hated it. That was probably why he paid so much attention in class, why he didn’t dare to miss a word in any lecture.

He never thought such a thing could be noticeable, but maybe it was. Why else would one of his professors ask him to stay after class, out of nowhere?

“Mr. Burr, a word, please?”

“Professor Banneker?”

“I was wondering if you’d be interested in a paid internship for this summer at a company I still provide services from time to time? They take five to six students every year. I could see that you get it.”

“I would love that, sir.”

The professor nodded, clearly satisfied with his answer. “I’ll send you an email later today with all the information.”

“Thank you.”

He didn’t care that it was a paid one or not, the fact that it was a big company was all he cared about. Aaron didn’t need the money, but he could use the experience. Besides, he never had worked a day in his life. He couldn’t even imagine what it was like for Alexander to work two jobs and still go to class. So even if his would be during the summer, he thought it could help him understand a little better. He was eager to tell him all about it.

“Today was the worst!” claimed Alexander as soon as he opened the door to their room. “Seriously, I hate Lee. I hate him! And he hates me!”

Aaron bit his bottom lip. His news could wait. “What happened?”

“He’s a dick! He’s supposed to be our supervisor, but he doesn’t edit our work, he just tells us it’s not good enough and to start over. It’s ridiculous and pointless and unhelpful and I know he’s just doing it to annoy me!”

Aaron had read Alexander’s work many times. It was always amazing and beautiful but boy, he could use an editor. “What about the others? Does he help them?”

“No! David is just as annoyed as I am, and Stephen wants to quit.”

“Then maybe you should talk to Washington. Lee clearly is not qualified for the job.”

“I know, right?” He sighed. “Laf offered to pass by and help. He’s a good editor.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah… anyway, how was your day?”

“Not as frustrating as yours. I… I got offered an internship at an engineering company.”

“Really? Oh, babe, that’s awesome! Uh… though what does an engineering company do?”

Aaron snorted. “They solve other company’s problems, basically.”

“Cool. And… are you excited about it?”

He was terrified. He’d been more excited about dentist appointments before. He shrugged. “Yes.”

“Great. That’s great, I’m so happy for you, baby.”

But Alexander’s obvious lack of enthusiasm meant that when Aaron got all the details, he didn’t rush to tell him about it. Instead he made plans with other people; people he knew would be really excited.

It was still hard that afternoon, when Alexander went and said: “What are you doing tonight? I’m going out for drinks with Laurens, and he said you can come if you want, even before I asked.”

Aaron snorted. “That’s okay. I was actually going to meet with Thomas and James.” He was proud of himself. Maria was right. He was a great liar. His boyfriend didn’t suspect a thing.

“Oh, cool. Have fun.” He knew he would. Drinks with Laurens were always fun, and his good mood didn’t waver in his way to the bar where the art major was already waiting for him. “No Vanderlyn tonight?” asked Alexander. For the last two months or so, Laurens had started to bring his roommate whenever they went drinking. Alexander didn’t mind. He was a cool guy.

“Nah,” said Laurens. “He had an important project to finish. I didn’t even consider it. It’s just you and me tonight,” he winked.

Alexander chuckled. “That’s good.” He wanted to keep laughing, but his friend’s unfortunate phrasing reminded him exactly of what he had wanted to forget by drinking.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?”

“I just hate that Aaron is studying something he’s not passionate about, you know?”

Laurens pursed his lips. He had insisted a lot for Alexander to reach that conclusion the year before, so he figured if anyone _had_ to listen to him talk about it, it was him. “What happened?”

“He’s going to do an internship this summer. And I just… he works hard, you know? But he…” he shook his head, “I don’t think he enjoys it at all. What’s the point?”

Laurens rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know, man.”

“Did you know his uncle tells him what classes he should take, and with what professors?”

“What?”

Alexander hummed and nodded as he gestured at the barman for a refill. “God, I hate that man.”

“That’s fucked up, man. No wonder he needs to feel in control all the time.”

“What?”

“You haven’t noticed? Dude,” he chuckled. “That’s good. I guess it means he doesn’t care when he’s with you.”

But was that a good thing? Didn’t that mean that to Aaron, Alexander was similar to the guy? He shivered. Maybe he just hadn’t noticed because he didn’t pay enough attention.

Not that it was easy to notice anything about Aaron, period. One had to study each muscle on his face to try and figure out what was really underneath, and most of his friends had given up when it came to interpret his words or make sure if he really meant anything. He was a really great actor. So, their strategy consisted on believing everything as long as they didn’t have strong evidence that suggested he was lying, and on waiting for him to instigate any discussions regarding things he wasn’t thrilled to share. That was why whenever Aaron proposed a night out, they always said yes.

“You got an internship at _Crunch_? Man, that’s a big deal, congratulations,” said Thomas, sliding in the booth with a glass in each hand.

“Yeah, but I’m terrified. I’m just a sophomore. What am I supposed to do? I can barely do… I don’t know how to do anything. I don’t even make my own coffee!”

James chuckled. “You do know how to answer the phone and to operate a copy machine. I used to be scared too, but after I saw what Thomas had to do last semester, well, I’m far more relaxed now.”

“My internship was hell.”

“You just don’t like to be bossed around. Really, Aaron, relax. You’re going to do fine.”

Aaron took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right.”

“And how’s the search for an apartment? Didn’t your uncle told you to get a place with Alexander this year?”

“Yes, but honestly I haven’t even thought of it.”

“There’s an empty apartment in our building,” commented Thomas.

“Really?”

He hummed. “I’m sure I’ll regret having Hamilton for a neighbor, but…” he shrugged one shoulder and smiled, “you’re going to be there too, so I trust you’ll be able to handle him.”

James chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t know about that, but,” he grabbed Aaron’s shoulder and squeezed fondly, “it could be nice to be neighbors with you. And having your own place really is worth it.”

Aaron could imagine, probably better than the couple, because he hadn’t felt like he had his own place since he lived with his grandparents. Even his dorm room felt more comfortable than his own house, and that he had to share with a complete stranger at first. But everything had turned out okay with his roommate. Living with him was easy. Maybe even easier than talking to the guy, which wasn’t normally hard, but it changed depending on the words he had to say. Some messages were trickier than others, and talking about living together, for a number of reasons, made Aaron oddly nervous. He considered using alcohol to gather some bravery, but then decided against it. The last thing he needed was an inebriated mind, when his sober one could barely come up with an adequate phrasing. Still, he stayed out with his friends for as long as he could, which really wasn’t that much. He feared for a moment that marriage had turned the couple into one of those that go to bed at nine and drink wine at dinner and do crossroads together on bed, but then realized that they had been that sort of people even before they got together, so really, marriage wasn’t the concept to blame for it. But at least since it was a Friday night he wasn’t tired, because he wanted to wait for Alexander awake.

Sort of. When he finally heard Alexander outside, he threw the covers over his head and pretended to be asleep. He wasn’t proud of it. But by the time he had gathered himself, Alexander had already slipped into bed and had turned off the lights.

“Alexander?” he whispered.

“Hey, I thought you were sleeping,” whispered he back, passing one arm around his waist and pulling him closer, kissing his cheek.

“Have you… about us, getting an apartment together…”

Alexander swallowed. He was tired and a little drunk; and considering that Aaron was hard to read even when he was sober, he was a little lost on what his soulmate was trying to tell him. “Yes?”

“Well…”

Alexander almost yelled that it was fine. He almost hurried to say that since Laurens now was a good friend of his roommate, he could ask Hercules for a room. He didn’t, because he knew he wasn’t a good liar when he was drunk.

“Thomas told me there’s a free apartment in his building. Maybe we could go check it out next week? I get it if you don’t want to.”

“What? No! Yes! Yes, I’d love to! I mean, I’m not going to love being Jefferson’s neighbor, but James is a pretty chill guy, and they are _your_ friends after all, so… that’s cool. Yes. Let’s go as soon as they’ll have us. If you want, sure.”

Aaron smiled sweetly and joined their lips in the dark, squeezing the hand that was resting on his stomach. “Yeah, I want to.”

Alexander was too drunk to wonder if he meant it or not. He was happy. And he fell asleep happy, and stayed happy for the entire next day, that just kept getting better. After a long conversation between everyone and professor Washington, the man agreed that Lee ought to be replaced. He didn’t say who would get his job, but Alexander hoped Tench would. The man was a grad student and had been working with Washington longer than anyone else, and he was a qualified guy. Sure, Alexander would love to do it too, and if Washington offered it to him, he would accept immediately, but he didn’t think he would. Although Washington _had_ stared at him for a moment too long after he said he would fire Lee, but he ended up saying he had to think about who would be the one to replace him, and Alexander didn’t want to get his hopes high. He was, after all, the youngest in the crew, and the last one to join. It wouldn’t be fair, if he was picked for the job. But he was, overall, happy when he went back to his room that day, and his soulmate could probably tell, which was why he chose that moment to join him on the bed, snuggling and making his heart swell, but strategically keeping their faces apart to ask: “Are you free this Wednesday at noon?”

Alexander had a class, but he knew Aaron had one too. He frowned with suspicion. “Why?”

“To go see the apartment I told you about. It shouldn’t take longer than half an hour.”

If only he didn’t complain almost daily about that boring lecture, he could’ve said there was no way he could skip it. He cleared his throat. “Okay. Sounds good.”

Alexander had to admit, then and later, that he was a little uncomfortable. He had only been to Jefferson’s apartment a few times, but he remembered being jealous. Still, he had hoped one day he would be able to afford a place like that.

With his own money.

“Do you not like it?” asked Aaron softly. The real estate agent had left them alone in the master bedroom, which was, of course, about twice the size of their dorm room.

“No, this place is great.”

Aaron bit his bottom lip. “Is it too much?”

‘ _Too much what?_ ’ Alexander swallowed. He wished he knew what Aaron was talking about. He wished he could read his soulmate’s mind, but he couldn’t. He shrugged one shoulder.

Aaron didn’t look like he was going to elaborate after such an answer. It didn’t look like he knew what to do at all.

Alexander inhaled deeply and ran a hand through his hair. He had forgotten he had a low ponytail and ended up tangling his hair at the back of his head. “Honestly, babe, I love it. I just…” he took the tie between his teeth to untangle his hair, “just…”

“Just what?”

“I know your uncle said he was going to pay for it, but I hate it. I don’t want to live in a place I can’t afford.”

“Alexander, we’re in college. We’re not supposed to be able to afford this.”

“Yeah, but you can! Thomas can!”

“I’m pretty sure Thomas’s parents are paying for it, actually.” He bit his bottom lip. “We could stay at the dorms, you know, it’s okay.”

“Can we? Really?” Alexander shook his head. “I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with your uncle.”

“My uncle can’t force me to leave the dorms, Alexander. I don’t care if he gets angry.”

Alexander huffed and left the room without another word, and Aaron followed him after a second, if only to make sure his boyfriend didn’t leave the building without saying goodbye to the real estate agent that was looking extremely uncomfortable in the living room.

“Well boys, what will it be?” asked the guy with an awkward smile.

That was, perhaps, what angered Aaron the most. Not Alexander’s attitude, not his reluctance, but the fact that he never thought before making a scandal in front of a stranger, and Aaron _couldn’t stand_ that. He nodded. “We’ll take it.”

The real estate agent seemed just as shocked as Alexander. “Very well,” the poor guy cleared his throat, “come with me, then. I just need you to sign a few things…”

“Sure.” He stopped next to Alexander and whispered in his ear: “I’m still going to rent it for the summer. I need a place to stay in town during my internship.”

“Of course,” muttered Alexander tightly. He stayed there where he was standing while Aaron made all the paperwork, playing with his phone, and only approached them when they seemed to be over. “Eliza just got here,” he informed. “The girls are asking if we want to join them for lunch?”

“I can’t. But you go if you want.”

Alexander grimaced. “Okay. I’ll go then.”

“Okay. Have fun.”

He almost said he would. He honestly meant to. And yet, he was positive he wouldn’t. He never had fun when he went out in bad terms with Aaron.

He met with the girls at a restaurant at the other side of town, and it took him forever to get there, so he was surprised to be only the second one there, beaten only by Angelica, who seemed to be only short of irritated by their tardiness. She noticed his discomfort right away but didn’t ask what was wrong. He shrugged and offered an explanation anyway, just a ‘ _Aaron wouldn’t come, and I think that’s on me_ ’, which was both accurate and enough for her to roll her eyes and order him a drink. She said she was friends with both of them at this point and wasn’t in the mood of taking sides yet, and he was grateful for that. He suspected she wouldn’t take his, if she heard the whole story.

His suspicion got confirmed when her sister arrived, saying: “Alexander Hamilton, you are an idiot.”

“What?”

She shook her head as she and her girlfriend sat down next to them. “You are a massive idiot.”

“What did I do?”

“Staying at the dorms next year doesn’t sound idiotic to you?” asked Maria, who of course already knew all about it.

Alexander wondered if he should’ve seen it coming, because he most certainly hadn’t.

“What?” Angelica frowned. “I thought you guys were picking a place in Thomas’s building?”

“Just for the summer, apparently.”

Alexander glared at Maria. “What did Aaron tell you?”

“That is none of your business. But it included the words ‘idiot’, and ‘selfish’.”

Alexander frowned, feeling the heat of his anger rising in his cheeks and chest. “Selfish? How was I selfish? What the hell?”

“Alexander, what did I tell you about communication? You two need to talk.”

Alexander shook his head. “Thanks, Eliza, but it really isn’t that simple.” Talking used to be simple for him, when he didn’t much care about the consequences. Well, he cared to a certain degree, but when it came to evaluate things, expressing his opinion always came first. But with Aaron it was different. It was different because with Aaron he was willing to make compromises, and the easier way to do it was to swallow down all of his doubts and discomfort instead of trying to reach one with conversation. Aaron was, after all, a little of a pushover.

So he didn’t say anything, and he stopped trying to figure out how in hell he’d been selfish, and he even tried to be in a good mood when they finally moved into the damn thing, which was hard. The fact that Aaron had bought all the furniture with James Madison of all people and not him, didn’t make it any easier. He knew he had been busy, and he also knew Aaron was still mad at him, but they didn’t talk about it and that was how Alexander ended up with the most hideous dining table he’d ever seen.

“What is this thing even supposed to be? Was it designed with people on a diet as their targeted public? You know, so they lose their appetite the minute they think of this thing?”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “I like it.”

That was obviously a lie, and Aaron was the best liar Alexander knew. He frowned, but the answer to it seemed to fly directly at him, and he had to laugh when he got it. “No, you don’t.” He crossed the few steps that separated them and placed his hands on Aaron’s hips, pulling him closer. “You just don’t want to use it, ever.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes and refused to admit it, though his arms circled Alexander right away. “James liked it.”

“James likes Jefferson.”

“He’s not that bad.”

Alexander hummed and started nibbling at Aaron’s neck. “Relax. We’re still going to eat on the bed. With how much space we got now, it would be a waste not to try it.”

“I agree.”

“But you know what? Since we’re not going to be eating in this thing…” his hands slid to Aaron’s zipper, “it really wouldn’t matter to do some unhygienic activities by it…”

“Yeah?” came the breathless question, just as he freed Alexander’s hair from its bun and ran his fingers through it. “Like what?”

“Oh, well…” he turned them around and pushed Aaron on top of the hideous table. With him on top of it, it looked considerably better. “I have a few ideas. Want to try them?”

Shouldn’t he know that Aaron would do anything Alexander suggested, at this point? After paragliding, fucking on a table sounded pretty mild, if he had to be honest. And it wasn’t like he needed a lot of encouragement to do anything that involved his dick and Alexander’s. That was perhaps the one distractor that would always work, when things between them got tense.

He wondered whose fault it was this time, that things between them were tense. Certainly, his plans for the next day weren’t helping, but he figured that going to bed naked could help a little with the stress, or so people said. He might never know, because regardless of his dreams that night, the moment he opened his eyes and remembered what was coming, anxiety threatened to swallow him down. He stared at his reflection in the mirror after his shower and was glad he hadn’t eaten anything.

Alexander sighed, exasperated behind him. “If you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to, you know?”

Alexander didn’t want him to go? Why not? Maybe they should’ve talked more about it; this couldn’t possibly be the first time Alexander wore such a grimace solely with the idea of him going. He swallowed. “I already said I was going. I can’t just not go.”

“You can call in sick.”

“On my first day?”

“Yes. It happens.”

Aaron shook his head. He wouldn’t do it, not only because it was unprofessional, but also because he genuinely _wanted_ to go. Sure, he was nervous. That was normal and to be expected. But he was also excited about it. So he kissed Alexander goodbye and left without elaborating on the issue, because he was too jittery to discuss it and try to put it into words. He just needed to be there early, and to take some time to breathe.

Once he was outside, twenty minutes early, he took a moment to really _see_ the building he was about to enter. The building in which he would see one of the many places in which he could end, one of the many jobs he could eventually get. The building in which he would see if it was just the classes that were boring, or he simply was not on the right path.

Alexander seemed to be convinced it was the latter. He pushed away that thought. Alexander never took enough time to think things over. Whenever he got an idea, he believed it completely and would defend it to death. He was simply too confident in himself. There should be a limit for that. Aaron knew that limit. He knew his strengths, but he also knew how to wait. He knew that he had to be patient sometimes, and that first impressions weren’t everything, and that he could be wrong.

He took a deep breath.

He entered the building.


End file.
